A Bachelor Party Broke Our Marriage! | KARAMO

So tell me about this bachelor party that broke your marriage.

So basically I was told one thing and one thing else happened.

Okay.

I was told it'd be paintball and restaurants and a casual bar, casual drinks. And then I find out through someone else that it was a strip club. And I was told from the beginning that was a no for me. Always a no.

Got it. So let me go back. Are you and Benane newlyweds?

Newlyweds, yes.

Okay, then how long you been married now?

One year on Valentine's Day.

Oh, one year coming up.

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Well, congrats.

Thank you.

Well, not congrats 'cause you're here.

Yeah, exactly.

Congrats, but we're gonna figure it out.

Yeah, we'll see.

So why didn't you go with Benet to that bachelor party?

Well, I trusted her at first. I mean, I've always had a lot of trust in her. I never saw an issue with it. I was kind of iffy, you know, like by yourself, but it was Benet, so I thought if anything could go wrong, it was her.

Yeah, okay then. And how did you feel about her going without you? Did you have issues?

I did at first. I wanted to be there, but she kept saying it was just her friends and her friends, and I was like, okay, it's your friends, you know? Yeah. That's on you.

Well, what I love about it is you said that there was trust there.

Yeah.

Were there any boundaries that you gave her?

A few. Yeah, I had 4 boundaries in the beginning. Very first date.

4 boundaries.

No strip clubs.

Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, well.

No porn. Okay. No cheating and no dishonesty.

Okay. No strip clubs, no porn, and no dishonesty. So 2 of those were broken with this.

Yeah, exactly.

And why are these boundaries important to you?

When I first met Benet, I knew it was me and her forever. I instantly knew after that first kiss. Yeah. So when I gave her these boundaries, these rules for me, I thought it was a higher standard for us 'cause we're married or want to be married at some point in our lives. So for her, I wanted more for her, more for us. And that's what I wanted for her, so.

And so these are the ones you were like, hey, I mean, to be very honest with you, these are not bad boundaries, right?

I didn't think so either.

I actually recommend that like if couples are together, especially I say no cheating, obviously. But porn and porn addiction, especially with our generation, the culture now, that's actually a really good boundary because it actually, people don't realize it affects your intimacy in your relationship more than you know. So yeah, so this is not that bad. And then no dishonesty, don't lie to me. Okay, great. Okay, yeah, okay.

Yeah, I thought it was pretty simple.

Not unreasonable. Okay then. And how did you find out that she was at the strip club?

A mutual friend texted me and I was at the strip club with her and about a post that she posted on a Snapchat story that I couldn't see. And it said, "At the strip club," with a location on there and everything. But I had no idea.

Got it, because you couldn't see it.

Yes, and a video too.

Oh, well we have that message. I wanna take a look at that. It said, "Hey Liv, I don't know if you know this or not, but Monet sent me these snaps. Okay, just left the strip club." Oh, wow, wow, wow. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so yeah, strip club and dishonesty right there and there, broken. Do you think that the person who sent you the Snapchats was being messy?

Definitely.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, we're not friends anymore. That's kind of the issues. I don't really know her like that, so I don't know why she's texting me out of nowhere. Like, do you like Benet? Do you want Benet? I don't know, it was just weird to me.

Oh yeah, that was sabotage.

Yeah, definitely.

That wasn't a, that wasn't a, hey, I'm looking out for you. That was a—

Yeah, I care about you.

Yeah, that was a girl, let me let you know what I know that you don't know.

Exactly.

You told my producers that Benet had blocked you from seeing her post. When and why?

I started calling her and texting her and looking at her social media like the first day she left. And it was kind of like weirdly nothing there. I was like, okay, that's odd. You're at a party, you know, somewhere in the post. It's interesting. But I believed her and I called her, no answer. And then she'd had that strip club post, but I couldn't see it. So I've definitely for at least a whole day, probably more.

Then she blocked you?

Yeah.

So she knew in her head that she was doing something wrong.

Yeah, exactly.

And didn't want you to see it.

Yeah.

Okay. So what did you do after you found out that she was at the strip club?

I kinda called everyone. I called all her friends there. I called the bachelor himself. I called her because I wanna know what's going on 'cause she was answering me. No one answered. I got hung up on nothing and that made everything worse for me. I was more spiral.

Yeah, of course. Oh, I can already imagine. Benet was in there having a good time. They're like, "Yo, your wife's calling." And she was like, "Don't pick up, don't pick up, don't pick up." Oh yeah, she was definitely doing that for sure.

Yeah.

So you believe Benet left with a stripper that night, my producers told me.

Yeah, yeah, I do. I know, I looked up the strip club that she was at and all the comments or reviews are like, they used to go home with them all the time. It's really common. They like talk to customers, they tip them well, they go home with them. And she was making jokes about it too. And I just don't, I don't think it's funny.

So, okay, I got it. Yeah. Yeah, the jokes about it is only going to add to the distrust.

Yeah.

What happened when you got in touch with Benet finally?

I called her and she was like, Oh, it's nothing, it's nothing. And I was like, it's a big deal for me 'cause we had that agreement from the beginning. And she's like, it's a strip club and it's a bachelor party. It's like we're friends, like that's it. And it never, it was just dismissed from the beginning and has been since.

Since, and how long ago was this?

October.

October, so it was a couple months. So this is still fresh.

Yes.

Got it, understand. And you told producers that Bené has changed, how?

We were always very open with each other, very close, like at the hip. We're separate beds now, the whole time since October. She is really quiet to herself, reserved. Her phone is locked from me and never used to be before. It was always open, both of us. And now it's new passcode. I don't know it, nothing.

Did you ask why?

She said that it was for her own privacy's sake and I was being too much. I need to just trust her, let it go. But I'm not letting it go, it's not the truth.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. Have you guys ever had any issues with cheating prior to this?

Never.

Never.

And I feel like it's so like out of nowhere for me 'cause I was so trusting of her and vice versa, I would like to think. And so just like out of nowhere, just suddenly weird and oddly.

What's on the line today?

Everything, my whole marriage. If she's lying about this whole thing even more than it already was, I'm done. I can't do it anymore.

Wow. Well, I think it's time to meet Olivia's wife, Benet, and hear her side of the story. So everyone please welcome Benet to the show.

Happy one year anniversary. I'm the best thing you ever had. I don't want you to forget that.

I don't want those.

Thank you.

Olivia, it looks like Bonet is trying to say something with these roses, but I don't know exactly what you're trying to say. So what are you trying to say?

I love you. I always will, but you're a psycho.

So Bonet, you feel like her actions are psychotic?

Absolutely.

Why?

She ruined all my friendships. She interrupted my friend's bachelor party. That's not my fault. It is your fault. You didn't have to call me. Answer phone calls. I would've called you the next day.

The next day?

Absolutely. You were there with naked bitches.

I'm not supposed to call you?

It was none of your business. That's why. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's why you weren't invited. That's why you weren't invited. Yeah.

Renee, this is your wife.

Yeah.

And you're saying I would call you the next day and saying that she wasn't invited. Why would you wanna have a wife then if you wouldn't wanna include her in the moments of your life?

That's a great question.

Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, I love her, but I also have a life out— Do you though? Do you? I have a life outside of you.

A whole strip club outside of me?

Yeah.

Strippers?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay.

So did you know, let's find out, did you know that you'd be going to the strip club?

No, and that's the God honest truth. Okay.

But she figured it out then, she called me.

No.

Immediately.

I thought we talked about playing paintball, going to a restaurant, and going bar hopping. Her hopping.

Okay.

No talk about a strip club.

And then when it happened, why didn't you call?

Because I knew it was gonna be some shit, that's why.

Okay.

Okay.

If you would've called, it wouldn't have been anything.

Absolutely.

You could have gone, called me, and left it in a room.

Absolutely. Been happy, fine. No, no, no. Over with. That's not the truth at all.

Did you agree to her boundaries when you got married?

Yeah.

You did agree to them?

Yeah.

Okay then. So if you agreed to them, why break 'em?

I mean, nobody's perfect.

Okay.

So I didn't ask for that. I asked for honesty. That's not perfection.

Did you intentionally mute or block her from seeing your post?

No, I didn't post it. I sent it to people. I didn't post it to people. To a bitch then? Yeah.

To one bitch, that bitch on the screen? That was her?

Yeah.

Why did you send it to her?

I mean, that was my friend's girlfriend. I don't see a problem with that. That's even weirder to me. I don't see a problem with that.

That's even weirder.

Whatever.

So why do you think the person sent Olivia the screenshots? And the videos you posted?

I mean, maybe she was being messy.

She wants you and I'm sure you encouraged it. Obviously you're sending.

So?

So, yeah.

So did you encourage it? Did you encourage it? Did you encourage it?

No.

You did not?

That took a while. That took a while. That took a long while, but no.

Okay.

Did you confront that person?

No.

You didn't confront them?

No.

Why not?

That's, I don't care. I mean, it's unfortunate.

Clearly you don't care.

I'm glad that you see I don't. It's unfortunate, but I mean, you know, you don't wanna believe me or trust me, that's on you.

Okay.

That's on you to fix it. I know. 'Cause you broke the trust.

You can start by trusting me.

I need you to put the effort in. It's only me. It's only me.

I'm kind of confused of why you're saying like it's her fault that she doesn't trust you. You said you agreed to the boundaries and then you also said you broke them.

Yeah, I mean.

So why is it her fault?

She ruined, you ruined my friend's bachelor party. I'm not friends with him anymore and he's probably not going to tell me.

But what's more important, your bachelor party or your marriage?

Uh, what do you mean, uh? What's that mean?

You don't know what's more important?

I mean, it would be nice to have both and you chill out, absolutely.

I would chill out if you, Let me chill out. I can't be safe with you if you're constantly lying to me.

If the roles were reversed and Olivia went to a strip club, how would you feel?

I would not care at all. You wouldn't care? I don't care.

Okay then. And if she started—

Because I'm not insecure.

So you think she's insecure?

Yeah.

Was she insecure when you first got together?

Probably, but she didn't show it.

So I didn't show until you made me insecure.

That's on you.

That was on you.

You knew.

By not listening to me and my boundaries and actually adhering to them. That's on you.

You knew who I was when you got with me. You knew who I was. I didn't hide anything of that from you.

You hid that you were in strip clubs.

You know I like having fun.

You hid strip clubs.

Well, you found out, didn't you? You found out, didn't you?

Yeah, not from you, from someone else.

You found out though, didn't you?

Not from you, but that's actually the entire point.

But you found out.

You were dishonest.

Did you leave the club with a stripper?

No, no, absolutely not.

No, you did not.

No, sure.

Do you wanna save this marriage?

Yeah.

You do?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, okay. No one believes you.

That's fine. Actually.

How many people here believe that she wants to save this marriage? Raise your hand.

Yeah, no one.

Nobody in this audience believes you wanna save it. Why do you think they don't see that?

No, I mean, they don't know me.

Okay.

I do and I don't believe you still. I know you, I don't believe you.

So we're unlocking your phone because you wanna know what actually went on that night.

Yeah.

Is there anything we're gonna find in your phone?

Nope.

Nothing at all?

Nope.

So you're telling me that there's nothing that happened that night, 'cause we dig, that we're gonna find?

No, there's nothing.

Well, I think it's time to unlock the phone and find out. Olivia, you wanna know if Benet left with a stripper. Benet says she did not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her phone and found that Benet is telling the truth. I'm happy, I'm glad. Olivia, you wanna know if Benet is communicating with any other women. Benet says she's not. My locked phone investigator searched her texts and found that Benet is telling the truth.

What?

Your iPad?

What?

Your iPad?

What?

Your iPad?

iCloud Genius.

Your iPad?

iCloud Genius.

Other things?

iCloud Genius.

Well, we search any of the, like any of the things that are on iCloud. We get through all of those messages. Okay. Olivia wants to know if Benet is direct messaging any other women. Benet says she is not. My Lock the Phone investigator searched her DMs and found that Benet is telling the truth.

What'd I say? What'd I say? What'd I say?

Olivia, you wanna know if Benet has been to any more strip clubs. Benet says she has not. My Lock the Phone investigator searched her GPS and found that Benet is telling the truth.

What did I say? What'd I say? You still lied. You still lied.

You still lied.

You still lied to me. You see this? Oh! Oh! Oh!

Olivia, I'm gonna ask you, what were your previous relationships like?

Very tumultuous.

Tumultuous?

Yeah.

Okay. Is there a certain type of person you go after?

I've noticed that dishonesty is a pattern, for sure.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Immaturity. Clearly.

I think immaturity in this case. I understand Bené's frustration and I think that I'm gonna give some context here. You're both 20, right?

Yes.

Yeah, it's young love. I gotta put myself back in 20 years old. Baby, if you heard some of them stories. So y'all know. So I understand that this is something you two have to grow through and I'm sure this is very hard for you right now. Because what's happening right there, instead of being able to communicate like, I'm afraid to share my truth, I'm afraid to own up to the fact that I wasn't able to keep your boundaries, I'm gonna be upset at you for giving me the boundaries. And then it made you insecure, which I'm sure that made you start to act and do things in a certain way that felt different to her. And so you start going in this cycle. And what we've seen in the phone is that she's not doing anything. But that could have easily been alleviated by just coming to you and saying, "Hey, let's talk. I know I broke the trust. I know that I hurt you." And I need you to have transparency, but then you would have to manage your own emotions. And that's the things you learn when you're getting older and you get into a, you get 30, you get 40, you start to, well, some people, okay? That's what you're supposed to learn, that the communication can be better. I think that the love is real, but I think that y'all rushed into it. I think that getting married at 19 and having these boundaries, though the boundaries are healthy, I think were unrealistic for a 20-year-old who right now wants to explore life and see life. And I think y'all are different phases. I think you're more in a, I wanna nest, I want to build a family. And I think that that's in Bené as well, but I think she also is like, I still wanna have my fun. What are you feeling in this moment?

Disappointed in myself and in her behavior. Like, I am happy that, you know, she didn't do anything, but she still lied to me. And I did, you know, I did call a lot of people. I did, but I just, I wanted clarity. I wasn't getting it from her. I wanted it from somewhere.

Listen, every one of us in here at 20 understand that I would've called everybody, every phone. You lucky 'cause she sent you the address. I'd have showed up. See, that was me in my 20s. Like, I was a different one.

Yeah.

I would've showed up. I know a lot of young couples and they make a lot of choices and they move a lot really fast. And then instead of, not slowing down, they get back together and then they move even faster. So what I'm hoping is that you don't leave this stage, make up, and go even faster. Allow this to either be a slowdown to get to know each other, to have a conversation, or to figure out if this is actually what's best for you both. She threw that ring at you, but I don't think it's up to you to decide if you want her to wear it again, okay? So don't do it.

Okay.

Well, listen, I wish you the best of luck. All right. Yeah. Thank you. Well, stay with us, friends. We'll be right back with more.