A Night Out Ruined Our Friendship | KARAMO

Hey friends, welcome to the show. Listen, growing up, my mother always told me that friends will come a dime a dozen in your life because it's hard to find a true ride or die friendship that's got your back no matter what. Y'all know I got mine, my Trey Trey. But my next guest, Alidia, says she was that ride or die for her friend Shay, but they fell out after Shay stood by and watched Alidia get thrown out of a nightclub and then continued partying. Wow, I don't know if I could sit back and watch my friend get thrown out, but there's always two sides to the story. Well, the two former besties haven't spoken since, and today A'Lydia wants my help to figure out if their friendship can be saved at all. Everyone, please welcome A'Lydia to my show. You, oh my gosh.

Okay, I don't wanna get my makeup on here, girl.

Don't worry, you look cute.

Thank you.

Okay, so Olivia, tell me what happened at the club that night.

So me and Shailyn, basically our schedules just never matched. She did move to LA back before the pandemic. And then I had a weekend off. I was like, you know what, I'm about to go to LA. I'm gonna go see you. Show me what you got going on. And then we go to a nightclub and we're in the nightclub. Everything's perfectly fine. Like bottles are popping. 15, 20 bottles going on, like it's a great night. We end up like separating in the part of the night. So I'm still, you know, living my best life, like dancing, vibing with everyone. When I go look for her, there's like an altercation between whose bottle belongs to who. And the girl next to me, she goes to Shay and she's like, "Bitch, I saved you from getting your ass beat tonight." I'm like, "Hold on." She's talking to your friend, this other girl's talking to your friend. Yes, and there's no other girls like around. Like mind you, the whole night's going fine. Feel any animosity, there's nothing going on. So I'm looking at her and I'm like, okay, who's she talking to? And then I realize she's talking to Shay. So Shay's like, wait, what? So I'm like, okay, hold on. I thought I came to LA to live my best life and have some fun, but I guess I'm gonna have to bop someone because like what? Like what are you doing? Like what are you doing? Like what do you mean? Like who are you? Who did you save? Because there was no problems all night. So that happens and now security's coming over. So I'm like, I know how this goes. So security's basically like trying to get Shay out the section. I'm like, that's not happening 'cause she didn't start nothing. Like, no. And I go to security, I'm trying to talk to them and they're like, yeah, so you're not going back in the section. And I'm like, what do you mean I'm not going back in the section? So now I got 7 security guards all around me.

What club were y'all at?

We're literally at like a celebrity known club. Now security is all around me. And I'm like, all right, listen, well, my girl's up there, I don't know what's going on, they might be fighting, I need to go back up there. I'm cool with being on the side.

You're still concerned about what's happening with Shay?

Absolutely. And so I'm like, listen, I came with her, so I need to be with her. And one of the security guards goes and grabs her, and when she comes, I'm like, all right, watch this, y'all. So she comes and she's like, what are you doing? She's like, you are embarrassing me. She's like, you're making my image look so bad right now. And I'm like, Girl, I'm trying to help you out. I was trying to make sure that you didn't get kicked out the section.

Yeah, okay. So did she leave you outside the club that night?

Absolutely.

What happened? So she went back now, she said, "I didn't need your help.

You're acting out of order." She's like, "You're embarrassing me." This is that. She goes back to the section. So I'm sitting here and I'm like, "Okay." I'm like, "Watch, she gonna get the promoter. She gonna get the guy and tell him to let me back in." So I'm there relaxing, waiting. And the next thing you know, she doesn't ever come look for me. Your little image, I see it got to your head. So honestly, I went back and I packed my stuff and I got on the flight and I went home.

Why do you say her image got to her head?

Because she was so like, you don't act like this, like my image. So I'm like, okay, I'm like, you must think real highly of yourself than like the person that you really are. It doesn't matter about image, it matters about loyalty. And I came out here for you. And then you're gonna play me?

So you don't think she was loyal to you?

Absolutely not.

You feel like she betrayed you?

Yes.

Okay, in what ways do you feel like she betrayed you?

She betrayed me 'cause at that time it's like, you know, like have my back. Either we're gonna stay here or we're leaving together. I came out there for you and you left me and you abandoned me and you sat here and were like, you're embarrassing. Like I would never accept that.

And that's tough. How many years have y'all lived in separate places?

Since the pandemic and what, it's been 2?

So 2 years.

2, 3 years.

For 2, 3 years that you all have not lived separate lives, but essentially lived separate lives.

Yes.

Okay, so both of you are finished with college?

Yes.

Okay. How you doing?

Good, how are you?

Good?

Yes, I'm great.

I'm glad to have you here. Sorry, I had to take a quick little fashion moment. I like the cargo pants. Okay, now, so I need to hear from you what happened at the nightclub that night because we've heard she was trying to protect you, she was trying to be there for you and that you left her out in the cold.

Yeah, and we haven't had this conversation since.

How long has it been since y'all really talked?

Since the incident, which was back in April.

So it's been quite some months.

Yeah, a few months.

Wow.

And I understand your point of view, Alidia, but there's also my side and I just kind of feel like yours really isn't true. And kind of taking it back to that night, so drinks were flowing, great night, I was so happy.

That we know, drinks was flowing, it was a cute night, that we know.

And that's emphasis on drinks were flowing. 'Cause at the end of the day, when drinks are involved, situations change. So drinks were flowing. Next thing you know, there's this random lady that came out of nowhere and was like, "Oh, you're lucky you don't get slapped," or something crazy towards me. And I'm just confused. Me and Alidia are looking at each other confused, right? And at the same time, I'm already seeing Alidia, I already know how she is 'cause we were the same, okay? 10 years ago, You're fighting, I'm fighting, we fighting. And I could just see the rage in her, like she's ready to swing. I'm doing a whole like 180 in my head, like, okay, I need to de-escalate this because I don't know what's involved. I don't know if there's guns, knives, or whatever the case may be.

Got it.

I've been in LA for like 2, 3 years now and it's really different from where we grew up, you know? So it's like, it's very dangerous. I'm not trying to make a situation worse. If anything, I'm trying to de-escalate it. So I'm going back and forth with this person trying to make everything calm. She's rah, rah, rah, and I'm just like, what's going on? Like, I'm just trying to figure everything out. You keep on going. You just keep on going and going, Alidia. And it's like, all right, I have one situation with a random stranger. Now I have my best friend also fighting.

I didn't start going until I'm out of the section where I was literally trying to explain and try to help you out. They were trying to kick you out.

I understand, but like, At a certain age, we're 25 now, at a certain age, we cannot fight everybody in this world. We can't have this anger inside of us, like, I'm ready to fight. And I used to be like that. I was like, I'm swinging on anybody who's coming at me crazy. But living in LA, I've learned to just relax. Let's figure out what the situation's going on.

But you sure weren't acting like that when you came out the section and was like, you're embarrassing me. How am I embarrassing you? Because you gotta remember the times I used to be real drunk and messed up, and I was the one that used to carry you out of parties. And on top of that, the times I used to throw up, I was the one who took care of them. Because that's what a real friend does. Doesn't sit there and just let them get kicked out of sections and then go back.

That was high school. How old are we now? How old are we now?

I'm going to be there.

I understand that, Alidia, but at the same time, we're elevating in life. That means you need to elevate your mentality. You don't have to be fighting everybody. And as a friend, I'm trying to look out for you. 'Cause you wanna do things in your career, you wanna model, I know, and I know you could be the best. But could you do that if there's a video of you everywhere fighting? And I'm looking out for your best interest.

I don't wanna see you hurt. I can handle my own.

Shay, you told my producers that you think Olivia still has a hood mentality. What do you mean by that?

She's the one that told me that. We had a conversation in the car one time and she's like, Shay, I'm from the hood, you just don't get it. And I'm just like, huh? We grew up together, I know. So it's like, what do you mean you're from, what hood mentality do you have? Like what do you mean?

You have to remember that we're two different, like you were only child, like the way we just grew up, the environments we grew up are two different things. Like I had to be a fighter my whole entire life. Survivor mode, like when you don't have family and you don't have no one by your side, you only got yourself. So it's like you gotta protect yourself at any cost. Like you said, like I have a modeling career I have to focus on. I can't be setting up for boarding.

So why are you trying to sway?

No, 'cause that wasn't it.

I wasn't trying to sway, I was trying to help. —you are. And I was frustrated. And I was frustrated. And I was frustrated. I was frustrated.

So we put up on Instagram asking what would ruin a friendship? And the audience reaction was this. We asked, what would ruin a friendship? Messy night at the club, owes you money, flirting with a man, spilling your tea. And looks like flirting with your man was with 52%. Messy at the nightclub was 5% of it. Most people don't see this as something that would break a relationship. So that means there's a symptom to something that's bigger that's going on here. Do you realize what's bigger that's going on here?

To me, like the way I see it is just two people that are so used to like being by each other's side and you know, change comes eventually in life. Like I said, I only have myself. I have to protect myself at any given time and anyone around me. But you know, I definitely do feel like there comes a time where it's like you gotta let that go.

Well listen, I'm glad you said that because this is the thing I wrote down. I was listening to the language you were using and you used language like loyalty, survivor, self. Those are words that make it hard for people to accept change because when you have to always protect yourself and survive, anything that's going to disrupt you protecting yourself usually is something that's changing in your life. That type of change becomes scary. And so for you, you are triggered by change. She left, like—

She left. There you go. You know, like she left and I'm so proud of her, you know? So it's like seeing that is like—

And I don't doubt that you're proud of her, but there's change.

Yeah, and it's a good change, you know? It's not bad change.

It doesn't matter if it's bad or good because this is the thing, when people have to have been in survivor mode, when they've had to protect themselves, when they've had to always feel like they have to, you just told me you got kicked out of your house as a child and she took you in. So even though you can say that change is good change, The fact of the matter is for anybody who's ever had to be in survivor mode, change, whether good or negative, it makes you feel scared inside. And so it's okay for you to say, you went to LA and I'm proud of you, but things are changing and I'm scared.

Can you say that to her now? I know that we're only, you know, we're growing and we're succeeding and we're doing things that we wanted to do as a child. And you know, change is coming. You know, it's here, it has been here. And I was wrong and I really, you know, I do love you and I care for you. And these damn lashes, I'm like trying not, I'm really not trying to mess them up.

So when she says to you she's scared of things changing, what do you wanna say to her?

I've been living in LA by myself, alone, without you guys. It's been hard. And I had to learn how to change and adapt on my own. Yeah. And it's like I finally, you know, feel like I'm growing into the woman that I'm supposed to be. We haven't really had that conversation. I feel like we should have had that conversation.

And I think because there was a distance, y'all stopped being vulnerable with each other. It always started becoming about like, how you doing? Oh my gosh, you doing good out there? Yes, girl, I live for you. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna come out there, we gonna turn up. And it stopped being about the vulnerable moments. So what you just did right now, I'm sure she didn't even know that you was feeling lonely out there. Did you know that? No, not at all.

I'm like, my girl living. Like, she living her best life and I'm back here and I'm like, you know, proud. I'm like, go ahead. Like, you go ahead and do that.

Yeah, but you also, but you said something, key language, but I'm still back here. That type of language is a very clear language to me that look, it's like, well, you go live, you're living, but you back here. But now you know she's been out there struggling as well. She's been emotionally missing you just as much as you was missing her. Her.

You been missing your friend? Oh, obviously. Like what? Got me over here crying. Yeah, and I honestly, I don't like to cry. I try not to cry and—

I got that effect on people, so don't worry. It's all right. It's part of my gig. Yeah, I expect this.

Me either. And it's like—

This is where a good chance for y'all to understand that if y'all start being vulnerable with each other, y'all can start to grow together. But sometimes as friends, we gotta be able to be vulnerable and say, listen, I'm growing right now. Girl, you wanna try to grow with me? Let me show you because girl, you know I like to turn up, but like tonight let's not do it. If there would've been a pre-conversation based in vulnerability, I promise you that night at the club she'd have been like, okay girl, we not gonna turn up, we not gonna turn up, correct? Yeah. Let that night go. Just say I'm sorry for whatever part I played and you say I'm sorry for whatever part I played that night. Can y'all say that to each other? Nope, I was wrong.

I'm sorry for the—

I'm sorry part that I played. I'm sorry for the part that I played.

Good, good. Because honestly, as weird as that scene right there with y'all both apologizing, that's how silly and weird that night was. Y'all was drinking, y'all was having a good time, and it got weird and stupid for no reason. But so now y'all can dead that in the past, and I can actually see y'all at 30, 40, living y'all careers, being successful, having y'all kids and families and being like, girl, y'all having that stupid clubbing at night. I can see y'all joking about that.

I feel like we've spent so much time apart that when you came, it was just party, party, party. Let me show Lydia a good time. Let me show her around as much as I can. And it wasn't, let's connect.

I love this. I love it because that's what it is. That's what it is. But again, of course she's going to assume that party, party, party because The vulnerability wasn't there, so she just assumed, I'm coming to LA, we turning up. But now because of the vulnerability, you could say to her, next time you come, let's actually just connect.

Yeah, we could just be in my bed watching movies.

Go get some dinner because we were standing there popping so many bottles, it went left. I think y'all gonna be all right.

Can y'all give each other a hug? I mean, so I guess there's that. Oh, y'all are good. Be all right. Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more, period.