A woman ended her eight-year relationship after her ex came out as gay and started dating. She's embarrassed and worried about when her young son should meet the new boyfriend. Stephanie advises processing her own feelings first, then setting clear co-parenting agreements about boundaries and timing based on the child's readiness, not a calendar.
Chapters
Karamo, I need your help, but maybe more importantly, I need Stephanie's.
Me?
Yeah, that's what she said. Okay, what she said. I had a child with a man I didn't know who had a whole separate life. He was creeping and dating men in college while we were together. Oh yeah, girl, she need your advice. Okay, girl. We were together for 8 years and have a son. We broke up because he finally accepted he likes men, and now he has a new boo. I met the boyfriend and he was dry. Now my baby dad wants to bring my child around this man. Honestly, I feel embarrassed that my son's father is gay, and now I'm mad that I don't feel respected by his boyfriend. Ooh, that's a problem. How soon is too soon to introduce your kid to a new boo? And how do I make my ex make sure the new boo is treating me to my standards?
Mm.
Baby, get her ass together, Stephanie. Let her know.
That was a lot. That was a lot. Coming from somebody who does have an openly gay baby father— Yes, you do. Yes, I do. Yeah. Yeah, y'all. OK. I understand the hurt, or there's a pain behind that. Of course. Because when you envision your family, you see the future, and you see yourself with that person. So ideally, you want it to be that way. But allow yourself the space to let that resonate. Let it set in and realize what that means. Yeah. So although it is difficult, trust me, I know it's difficult navigating a situation. You have to consider that long term. We made a long-term, lifelong agreement. Yeah. We made a pact when we decided we were going to bring a baby here. And so now we need to refocus.
