Abandoned By My Daughter On My Deathbed | KARAMO

Welcome back, everyone. Imagine feeling sick and then waking up in the hospital to learn you've been in a coma for over a month and everything is gone. Your home is gone, your car is gone, and all of your belongings are gone. And your kids have been homeless for over 30 days. My next guest, Patsy, says that's exactly what happened to her last year. And the person responsible for losing everything was her own daughter. Everyone, please welcome Patsy to the show.

Hello.

Okay, Patsy, thank you for being here. I have to hear from you what happened when you were in the hospital because just getting those facts from my producers, it was jarring to me.

I was in a coma for a whole month. I did not get out. Then when I got out, everything was gone. My car was repo'd, all of my furniture was in storage. And I was homeless for those 7 months.

Oh my gosh. How did you find out that you had lost everything?

I wasn't aware of anything that was going on while I was in the coma.

And who was the one who told you?

My daughter.

And how did you learn that your other children were homeless?

When I got out the hospital. They were living from house to house.

Why would your daughter make you homeless and make your other kids homeless? That's her siblings, right?

Yes.

So why would she want her siblings to be homeless and why would she wanna do this to you?

'Cause she only thinks about herself. She's very selfish.

What has she done in the past?

A lot. Let me give you an example. My daughter had a BBL. I took care of her and nursed her back to health.

Okay.

When I came out this coma, I wanted the same love that I show my daughter.

Is this your oldest child?

Yes, she's my oldest.

Okay. So what did she say when you came outta coma and you asked her about your other kids and why you were homeless?

When I came out the coma, I didn't know that I was homeless. Her plans were to go to Dallas to move all of my things out.

So then where did you stay after you got out the hospital?

After the hospital, I really wanted to stay with my daughter because I felt like that's where I wanted to be, with her. But I stayed with everybody else, me and my kids.

Did your daughter not let you stay with her?

When I did come, it wasn't sincere.

So she eventually let you stay with her after you had to float around from place to place?

Alone, it took forever. But the whole time that I was in this coma, when I got out the hospital, my daughter had her own house, her own car, her own job, and everything. Everything going for herself. And I just wanted my daughter to take care of me the way I take care of her.

So how were things when you were living with your daughter?

So it became to the point she told me, "Get out." So I packed me and my other kids, and now by the grace of God, I have my own house.

That's good. So I want you to tell me about your daughter Alexis.

I describe her as a person that she's out for herself. She not loving. She don't help me. The whole time that I was in the hospital, I wanted my kids to be there. I wanted the ones that I loved and raised to be there.

And how old is your oldest daughter? How old is Alexis?

She just turned 23 this year.

I can only imagine what you're going through as a mother. And I think it's time to meet Alexis. So everyone, please welcome Alexis, your daughter, to the show. Well, don't boo her. We haven't heard her side of the story. Alexis, how are you doing today?

I'm good. How are you?

I'm good, thank you. So I need to know from you what happened when your mother was in a coma last year, 'cause we just heard a whole lot from her point of view.

For her to say that I was never there, I was. When we got there, I had to make legal decisions. They were saying that you know, she passed away and they brought her back again and that they had to do like procedures and surgeries and stuff. And it was up to me 'cause I'm the oldest. I'm sorry. And so, so for me, for her to say that, that just really hurts my feelings because like to be in that position and try to figure out what to do.

This your mother in the hospital?

Yeah. That was when I went to see her.

Got it.

Oh, Mama.

'Cause you were 22 at the time of this.

Yeah, I was 22. I had just recovered from a bad car accident. Then my mom got sick a week later. So it's just a lot of stuff was going on during this time.

Why does your mom think that you're the one to blame for losing? Her other children?

Because she always blames me for a lot of stuff.

And for losing everything, 'cause she blames you for losing her apartment, for losing her car, for the kids being separated. Why do you think she blames you for losing everything?

I just don't think she considers it from a different perspective. Like for instance, her apartment, and I was told by a sibling that, oh, mom has to be outta here by a certain time. Her lease is about to be up. So I used money that I had to get a U-Haul and get her stuff and put it in a storage. But that happened way after the fact, later on. So my brothers and sisters were still at the house. The lights were on, the water, I made sure they had groceries. I just didn't want them to see my mom like that every day, but I went to the hospital every day to see her. And they only let me see her for 30 minutes because she was in intensive care, but I was there. And she doesn't understand that that's the—

It still messes with me. So when it comes to the apartment, you are in a space where you're like trying to be proactive.

Yes.

You're thinking they're about to kick her out, so let me try to make the decision to get her stuff into storage.

Yes.

Is that what you're saying to me?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.

And then what happened with the car?

And then for the car, she was upset because I didn't pay her bills, but I didn't know where she bought her car, where her car insurance was with. I didn't have any of that information.

Hold on, I wanna get my audience's opinion on this. So what's your opinion on all this? I mean, I'm gonna ask you, do you think your daughter was supposed to take care of you and the kids?

I would've did it for her.

Your daughter's 23 years old, or 22 at the time. What capabilities does a 22-year-old have? I'm telling you, at 22 years old, for me, I don't know if I would've had the capacity if I would've saw my mother in the state that I saw you in. Be able to make clear decisions. Do you see her side on that?

I feel you on that.

Come on down. You look great.

This girl was 22. She was being the mother to your kids. She was providing for them financially and also make life decisions for you.

Like, don't you think you're expecting way too much of her?

Maybe you feel that way. I don't feel that way. She was doing the best that she could. You didn't see that? I never said it. I appreciate everything she did.

All right. I mean, because there's a bit of a different thing here that I'm seeing. It's like one moment it's like my daughter didn't do enough, but then you said that you do appreciate what she did.

I've never told her I didn't.

Okay.

I didn't help her get her house that she have, but I did turn around and give her one of my old vehicles. And yeah, it may not be the best vehicle and it may be beat up. She did help me with one payment and then she sent some money towards it. And I ended up, when I saved up enough money—

Girl, you sitting up here lying. The devil gonna see all through that, baby, 'cause you're lying about it. You sitting here holding the title while you talk about the money. It's petty and materialistic, like you say. But some things you do to me as your mother is not right.

What do I do to you?

It don't matter, we ain't gonna even talk about it.

I'm waiting, I wanna hear this.

When I came home on the 21st, was you there?

No.

Did you go to any of my 5 appointments for 5 months? Were you there?

No.

Wasn't me and your sisters and brothers living house to house?

How is that my fault when I told you that they could move up?

But if you loved us, wouldn't you say, okay, Mom, I'm gonna take care of you?

If I loved y'all, you feel like I'm obligated to take care of y'all.

Take care of me, bitch!

No! Take care of me! No! No! I'm not talking about me, that's not my job! When it comes to Momma, I'm gonna take care of Momma! That's not my job, you're not understanding. Karamo, that's not my job. I wanted to live my own life and still have a baby.

Running away? I already knew that when you went. Some of the things she doing is not how I raised her. Some of the things she doing, some of the things she say towards me, I have always been there.

What do I say?

I have always loved her.

What do I say?

I go to the moon and beg for her.

What is it that she says?

What do I say to you that hurts you?

You don't say, it's a lot of stuff you say.

Well, 'cause I can name some of the stuff you say to me that has stuck with me.

Well, name 'em.

Okay, for instance, I opened up to her and I had told her why I was so depressed as a kid and things that happened in my life. And she, I'm scared to say this, I had almost got the R word. And then I told her when I was younger. No, you told me that. Yes, I did.

No, you didn't.

I was 17 years old. I was a junior in high school.

Lexi, I want you to look at this. Your daughter is being vulnerable right now.

She didn't tell me that.

But that's not all.

If she had told me that, trust and believe a lot of things that I've taught my kids, I wouldn't have.

But she told you right now. What's the story I need to tell? As a third party, I got to witness your behavior in this moment.

I don't remember that.

So, Patsy, what I'm gonna say to you—

Why is you lying?

Patsy, what I'm gonna say to you is you gotta do some self-reflection. Do you wanna have a better relationship with your daughter?

She don't want none with me.

My question wasn't what she wants. My question was, what do you want?

Sure.

Patsy, what are you thinking about?

I'm done.

I know that hurts. Listen, you have to start grieving the fact that your mother's not gonna be able to give you what you deserve. And I know that sounds weird to say like, I gotta grieve that my mother can't be a mother for me. The answer is yes. Because I can see you trying to make strides to get yourself a better life, but you're always gonna be held back and always gonna be sucked back in because your mother has this sort of hold on you because you're still believing that she can give you what you deserve. And unfortunately, she's not in the place yet. So you have to continue to do what you have to do to continue to have your life. You hear me? You did not deserve this relationship with your mother. You didn't deserve it. She's coming back. What does she wanna say? What's her thoughts? Now, Patsy, before you come out here, I'm gonna ask you one question. Are you willing to open up and accept what your daughter said?

Yes.

You are? Because if you're not willing to it, I'm not gonna be able to have you come back out.

Yeah, I'mma open up.

Okay, come on back out then. So what can you open up with your daughter with right now?

That I cannot take away nothing. That whatever I've ever done to you, I want you to forgive me because I have loved you since birth. I'm so proud of you. Whatever I did, I did to make you stronger so you won't have to depend on nobody but yourself in life. I love you. I don't never want you to think your mama don't love you. You all I have. I don't have my kids' daddy no more. Barely I do for my mama. You feel me? I go out the way for my mama. So if I ever hurted you, I'm asking you this one time, will you please forgive me? I can't change the past, I only can look forward to our future.

Ma, I can forgive you, but what makes this time different? Like, you done said this before and you still haven't changed.

All right.

Well, I don't know. I'm telling you that I'm asking for your forgiveness.

So you brought her here and you were talking about all the things that happened once she was there. Can you acknowledge that your daughter did not intentionally try to get rid of your car and get rid of your apartment?

I don't know. She's young, so she didn't know what to do. I thank her for what she did do. She didn't know what to do.

So can you acknowledge that your daughter did not intentionally drive?

Intentionally get rid of my car? I acknowledged it.

And can you acknowledge that your daughter did not intentionally try to have your other children homeless? This is why I said before, Ms. Patsy, there needs to be some self-reflection.

I can't acknowledge that one because like I said, when I got out the hospital, my daughter went on by her way.

You're not gonna let this go. So what I'm gonna say to you again is that the only way this is gonna work for you is that you're gonna have to do some self-reflection because the apology that you came out here with, unfortunately even for me, was performative. That's why I said to you, you're gonna have to grieve that right now she's not able to acknowledge and give you what you need. Your daughter is a child in the situation. And as much as you have expectations for her of what she should have done, at the end of the day, the only thing that she was supposed to do was be by your side and say, "I love you, Mom," and wish that you were alive. She didn't have to, unless you left some directive around, that's why wills, that's why trusts, those things are enacted so that she could know exactly what to do. Unless you do that, a 22-year-old should never have that pressure on her. You gotta keep doing what you gotta do, all right? You have to grieve. You have to grieve. But as you're grieving, you have to know that you do deserve a life where people see you for what you've done and that you know that you are of value. You understand? Hold on, where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe and right here to watch more. Period.