Kimberly, 28, was raped at 9 and molested by family members while her mother was incarcerated. She became pregnant at 14 and dropped out of school. Now she confronts her mother Althea, asking her to acknowledge the dangerous situations she allowed and apologize without conditions.
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My guest Kimberly says her mother put her in dangerous situations. Tragically, Kimberly was sexually assaulted at the age of 9. And if that wasn't hard enough, she became pregnant at the age of 14 years old. She wants her mother to take accountability for the trauma she caused. They are both here to see if this relationship can be saved. Help me welcome Kimberly to the show so we can hear her side of the story. Hello Kimberly, can I have a hug? Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for having me.
You look great.
Thank you.
He was dope. Thank you. So tell me about your relationship with your mom.
I was basically raised on survival and not love. Just a lot of struggle. I was raped at 9.
Yeah.
She went to prison for 2 years and I was molested by family members everywhere I went.
Yeah.
From household to household, just trying to stay with people. I've been homeless. I got pregnant at 14, had my baby at 15. I dropped out of 10th grade to take care of him, try to raise him and do everything I can.
Yeah.
It's just been a rough life.
Yeah, and how old are you now?
I'm 28 today.
28, oh, happy birthday. Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, hopefully we'll get you some accountability and a relationship with your mother for your birthday.
Yes, yes.
So when was the last time you two were together?
We've been separated for a year and a half, but she did come visit for Thanksgiving.
Got it, got it. And when she came to visit you on Thanksgiving, how did that go?
I can say like dry. It's more of like, let's go do this together, let's do this together, but I can't get close to her because it's already a wall built up of resentment. So she tries to be close, but I'm just at a point where if I don't get the healing that I need, I can't go on no further.
Yeah. Was she supportive after your assault?
Yes.
She was supportive?
She was supportive.
What did she do?
We had to go to trial and everything, so she was by my side the entire process.
Got it, okay. Did you ever confront her about it? About where was she?
The little girl in me has been kind of terrified to have that conversation. 'Cause I don't know if she's gonna take the accountability, so.
Is that what you're mostly looking for?
Yes.
Accountability?
Yes.
Has she ever apologized?
Kinda like acts of service.
Did you ever have a father figure in your life?
Yes, my sister's father.
Okay.
Kinda looked after me, raised me as his own.
Okay, did you know your dad?
I did, but I had a horrible relationship with him.
Okay.
How's your relationship with your mom now?
I'm trying to get it to be like a real mom and daughter relationship 'cause it hasn't felt like that my whole life.
What is the definition of that for you?
A protector, a provider. Everything that happened to me, I feel like it could have been avoided. So I'm angry about it because I didn't deserve it. And I haven't been able to tell her this stuff 'cause I'm scared, you know? So I haven't been able to relay that.
Yeah. Well, I'm glad you could be here. I'm here to support you through this. Here you go, love.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry.
No, you don't. Never apologize here for your emotions. Never that. Well, I think it's time to meet your mother Althea. So everyone, please welcome Althea to the show.
I did everything I could. Everything. I did everything. I don't know what you want from me. I tried to do everything for you. I mean, I put myself in a situation where I could've went back to prison. I was gonna kill him. I'm sorry, Karamo.
No, no, you're fine.
I'm sorry, but I mean, I don't know what else you want from me. I've tried.
I held it in too. I held it in.
And I'm sorry.
I was holding that pain because I was scared of your reaction being like that.
Have you tried to mend your relationship with her? I'm sorry.
Me?
Yes. Yes. How do you think you tried to mend it?
I mean, I heard a little bit, so yeah, I give. I mean, you know, she moved to South Carolina, I moved. I moved to be closer to her. You know, still no relationship, still no phone calls, still no texts. Still, I don't know if she's safe. I don't know what's going on. So I put forth the effort, you know what I mean? Like, I tell them all the time, the last 15 years I have given to them to try to be better because I made mistakes.
In your opinion, what needs to happen today to fix your relationship? 'Cause you said you've moved closer, you said you gave gifts. What do you think needs to happen?
I need her to meet me.
Okay.
Because I've been giving, I have been giving.
But you told me that the things you gave, it didn't work in fixing the relationship. So maybe the things you were giving, 'cause from what I'm hearing, it's sounding like you're saying, I need you to meet me halfway, but she's like, The things you were giving is not what I needed you to give me. So how can I meet you halfway when I don't even think you took the first step? So Kimberly, what is it do you need from your mom?
A genuine apology. And for me to be able to express how I felt because I've held it in so long.
Go for it.
And I'm going to speak my truth. I want you to take accountability for putting me in dangerous situations. The rape, homelessness, when you went to prison and I experienced molestation by family members. I want you to take accountability for messing me up. Take accountability for not protecting me from those situations. You took my childhood from me and I just wish that you would've protected my childhood. That's all I wanna say. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And I take accountability.
I do. I take accountability. Everything, for everything. Everything. No weight that you have is too heavy for me to hold. I promise you that. So you give it to me today, and I got you.
Kimberly, what I'm gonna tell you is that I'm so proud of you for finding your voice. How do you think your mother can step up for you?
I wanna be able to call my mama in the middle of the night if I have a dream of something that happened to me in the past. I don't wanna be judged by it.
Can you commit to, if she calls you, to protect her by not judging her?
Absolutely.
Tell her.
Yeah, anytime you call me, I will never ever judge you.
Kimberly, what I realized today is that I think you've taken a very big step in finding your voice. And what I'm most also proud of is I can tell you do watch this show because the way that you've been listening actively and empathetically is exactly what I hope when I tell people every end of every show, let's keep talking and growing, is that you can talk and listen and grow together as a family. And so I actually do believe your mother's gonna hear you. And I believe that this is the first step where you can start to build that trust again. And I hope you feel like you have been heard You do? Good.
I do.
Good, good. Because you deserve that and so much more. And I believe that your mother's gonna help you get that.
Absolutely.
Thank you for being here to listen to her.
Thank you.
Thank you, you're so welcome.
Thank you so much.
You got everything you need? You got it? Good, give it up for Kimberly, y'all. Give it up for her. And for you too, Mom. If you're experiencing abuse from a family member or a loved one, please know that what you feel is valid And help is always available. Reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. Abuse in any form is never okay, and you deserve better.
