Are We Meant to Be or Meant to BREAK UP? | KARAMO

Why do you think that he's cheating on you with other women?

It's just in the past, you know, he has cheated before. We've been together like on and off 9 years. So in the past, you know, he cheated and I'm not gonna sit here and act like an angel. I did it too. But we have a kid now and I've changed my ways. I've grown. But thank you. But with him, I just, I've seen things, you know, which I'm kind of like an investigator myself. So I kind of like went through our carrier and I looked at his call logs to see who was texting and calling. And when I was pregnant, I saw that he was like talking to this child's mom. He didn't tell me about it. And then he was speaking to one of his exes while I was pregnant. So—

My producers told me that something happened while a couple couple days ago when he was DoorDashing?

Yeah, so that's another thing. Our baby's in daycare during the day and I'm at school and work during the day. So he has all day until 6 o'clock when we come home to do what he has to do. But he chose to go at like at night at 6:30. And then I was busy, I wasn't paying attention what he was doing, but I was done with work and I look at my phone and I'm getting like dings that he's not accepting orders. And I just happened to call him and I don't know if he meant to answer, But he answered the phone and it's really loud music in the background. Like he's at a bar or I don't know, just, it's not DoorDash.

Yeah, yeah, you weren't at work.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I heard a girl so close to the phone as if she answered the phone and she's like giggling and then she's like, "Let me chill out." And then he goes, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on, hold on." Deet, deet, deet. Call hang up. Oh.

So is he transparent with his phone?

No.

He's not?

No, and I would just, you know, look at his phone and just scroll up to see the notifications and he saw that I was doing that so he turned those off. Another thing is that he would ask to swap phones and I'm like, okay, we can do that, but he's not gonna get upset about anything I'm doing. I'm not doing anything, but he goes way back in the past.

Got it.

So it's like, I'm not trying to go through that. Again? I'm worried about the now. What are you doing now? You're worried about what happened in the past.

'Cause how old is your child?

He's 6 months.

6 months old. Wow. And you just described that while you were— Oh, he's beautiful.

He's a cutie.

But you just described while you were pregnant, he was cheating.

That's my suspicion. Your suspicion. I have to just sit with that. He doesn't give me any answers. I don't have any closure, so.

Got it. All right, well, I want to hear Da'Kia's side of the story. So everyone, let's meet Da'Kia. Welcome on out. Hi, Nikia, welcome to the show. How you doing? Thank you for being here. So how do you feel about everything that was just said?

Why you gonna sit here and act like that though? Like, you're acting like you're the only victim. Like, I am a victim too of like your behavior and stuff.

What's her behaviors?

I get what she's saying, like she don't stay at home mom and all of that. But if you're too masculine for me and I gotta be combative with you, how am I supposed to be combative with my partner if you're the female and I'm the man? You know what I'm saying?

I'm too busy being the man.

I want to be feminine.

Okay, I get that. But then every day, but every day you're constantly accusing me of like cheating. I don't do it every day. You're clocking everything.

I am clocking everything.

You just told them. I do clock everything. You get my text messages, phone calls. I can't even breathe. I can't go nowhere without her on my back. You saying she looking over her shoulder, I'm looking over my shoulder and forward, you know what I'm saying? Like I can't just be myself.

Because what am I doing? Yeah, you have to be your better self. You have to be your best version. You can't be your crappy self.

So when you would cheat in the relationship in the past, why?

Me cheating in the past, it has to do with me not wanting to be tied down. I didn't want that title. I didn't wanna be a boyfriend. I didn't want to be none of that. I had multiple females, you know what I'm saying? She was a female who wanted to be in a relationship when I didn't wanna be in a relationship. So every time I would move forward, then she would wanna keep me back.

But who was chasing who? Who was chasing who? When you knew that I wanted a relationship, you always pursued me. You came for me. Regardless of the dynamics of a relationship, we are friends and I am there for you more than you have ever been there for me. I support you.

And that should tell you something right there.

Do you ever support me? No, because you give what you get and I have been giving you love and support and I don't get that.

Okay, okay.

So now you're mad at me.

But you're giving me love and support and you see that I'm not giving you none. What should that tell you?

And I did walk away. I did walk away. And what happened to you? When we weren't together, you were with other girls, and where was I?

Every other girl that I've been with after you or during the time that we were dealing with each other, you would come in that relationship to tarnish that, what I had going on.

Which relationship?

It wasn't even no relationship, but it was dealing with you. I never been in a relationship, that's what I'm trying to tell you.

Exactly, so what relationship? You act like I'm breaking something up.

There was nothing there to break up. You haven't been breaking nothing up. And you came from over here. What you were trying to do was have your cake and eat it too.

And you're not about to do that with me. If you're gonna fuck with me, you're gonna fuck with me. You're 30 years old, you're grown.

Do you feel like you're a little confused right now? A little lost in life?

I wouldn't say that I'm confused or lost. I'm like traumatized. I'm from past experiences, you know? I'm the one who got cheated on while I was in prison.

I got cheated on while I was next to you. You sleeping next to me and tripping over there.

What's worse though?

What's worse is what you did to me.

You could've left me while I was in prison though. I told you, you should just go and do you.

Okay, and what's that tell me?

Why would you wanna be with me in prison and cheat on me?

It's fine, I wasn't with you and I had to heal myself after what I saw what you did to me and I had to bring myself up. And if it's with me going and getting attention with other guys who were boosting me, then yeah, that's what I did. I built myself up and where am I today?

Y'all gonna applaud her cheating and then when I do it, it's a problem. That's crazy though. That's what I'm saying. So females off the muscles gonna already get they flowers. It don't matter what they do. Even at the crib right now, I sleep on the couch in my house. How do I sleep in the couch? Come on, man. We don't even have sex no more.

Yeah.

You don't turn me on with all this When I hear you with other girls and I'm seeing you text other girls, you think that's gonna make me, oh my God, let me go sleep with him, he's so handsome. Just because you look good does not mean that, oh my God, that's everything. You need to be treating your girl good for her to be wanting to lay down with you.

[APPLAUSE] [Speaker:KARAMO] Well, I think it's time to unlock these phones. [APPLAUSE] Sophia, we went ahead and unlocked your phone first. All right, Nakia, you wanna know if Sophia has sent any inappropriate texts to other guys. Sophia says she did not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her texts and found Sophia is telling the truth. Nakia, you wanna know if Sophia has any inappropriate DMs on her phone. Sophia says she does not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her DMs and found that Sophia is telling the truth. Nakia, you wanna know if Sophia has been communicating with other guys through any of her apps. Sophia says she has not. My unlock the phone investigator searched all of her apps and found that Sophia is telling the truth.

What about the lies though? You're insecure. Guilty conscience is why you always blame me. I told you I'm not doing nothing and I meant that. You're the one who's insecure.

Well, Nakia, we done locked your phone. All right, here we go. Sophia, you wanna know if Nakia has been texting his ex-girlfriend or any other women. Nakia says he has not. My unlock the phone investigator searched his texts and found that Nakia He's telling the truth. See?

Told you.

That's not Snapchat.

Told you, dog.

Let's wait for social media.

I didn't—

So, you wanna know if Nakia has any inappropriate photos in his phone. Nakia says he does not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched his photos and found that Nakia is not telling the truth.

What?

We found one photo of a woman that he received on January 18th, but then deleted it from his camera roll, but we found it, of course.

January 18th?

January 18th.

I ain't know what—

I was pregnant.

January 18th this year? How you was pregnant?

Oh, this year, not last year. This year is even crazier. That's like a few weeks ago.

Yeah, this is January 18th. This is the one he received and deleted.

Come on now, be for real.

Why do you have her pictures though?

I showed you, I screenshotted it and showed you that. And it was only for the simple fact because I was showing you that.

You never showed me this. I know who this is though. Yeah, but what did I? So why did you screenshot this?

I just gave you the answer to that.

No, why do you have it in your camera roll? Why did you screenshot this?

I just told you.

You know what's weird? This girl DM'd him and DM'd me and it's like, it's one of those weird girls that you can't tell like, are you talking to me because you're a girl's girl or are you talking to me 'cause you want to get the tea on what's going on in this relationship?

Got it, okay. You wanna know if Nakia is communicating with other women on any apps. Nakia says he is not. My unlock the phone investigator searched his apps and found Nakia is not telling the truth. Nakia, you had 831 conversations with different women on Snapchat.

Snapchat. Who are they? You know who they are. No, who are they though? Who are they? Why are you doing this? Like, what are we doing? Why are you doing this? Like, you're 30 years old. In the past you told me I was young and dumb. What is the reason now? What is the reason?

That's still not cheating though.

That's still not cheating?

The gaslight.

That's still not cheating, like.

That is cheating. If I did it, you would say it's cheating. What do you, like, if I did it, it's not cheating?

Compared to what I've been through, that's bare minimum.

Compared to what I went, exactly. He wants me to applaud that he's He's not sleeping with these girls. I need to be applauding him.

Okay, so, Nakia, I'm gonna ask you a question. I need an honest answer. When did you fall outta love?

I fell outta love the day I got released from prison.

Okay, so I want you to hear that because I already knew that and that's why I've been quiet this time. So I needed you to hear that and he was honest with you. He hasn't been in love with you.

Yeah, I didn't know that.

And I appreciate your honesty right now. You're in a situation with a woman who you've been with her for a long time. And so now there's a little bit of security being in it because you know what it is, but also at the same rate, you're not happy.

I'm not.

He's not, I could tell you that.

But you're not happy either.

She's not happy.

I'm not because misery loves company and his misery, I should be so happy. I have the best son in the world. I'm doing so good in life. Why am I not happy? I go home, to this. He may look good, but it's not fun living with him. He's miserable.

What I'm doing here, and the reason I'm asking you direct questions, is because I'm looking at the pattern of your choices. And what I'm trying to do is help you to hear his pattern of choices so that you can be released and be free. He fell outta love. You ain't in love right now.

I agree.

Look at him and say, "You're not my person." You're not my person. And look at her. And say you're not my person.

You is my person though.

Exactly.

The thing is though, what's gonna happen is I feel like if we break up today— Hold on, hold on, hold on. So let me tell you something. What you doing here?

I'm not finna let somebody tell me that you not my person.

Okay.

I love you for real, you know what I'm saying?

You don't, he just said.

I don't, he said what?

That you just admitted to him you don't love her.

I love you, he not. He's trying to help us though.

I'm not in love with her.

I am trying to help you, but—

He's trying to help us. Yeah, I'm not saying that. I'm not in love, I still love you. I'm just not in love with you no more because of the traumatic past we went through.

Okay, then let me— then why are you still trying to work this relationship?

Because it is fixable and workable.

It's fixable? Why is it fixable if you— like, what is fixable here? Your behavior is not fixable.

Hold on, hold on. What I just told you, you gotta do. Because I gave you a lesson now. When you feel like you wanna defend or argue, you gotta take a deep breath. He just told you. I'm not in love with you. So what you wasting your breath for?

Right.

And what I'm gonna say to you, what I'm gonna say to you, and this professionally, is when I asked you to say she's not your person, she's not. Your person, you will never have these issues with. Right. You need to move on. You need to move on. This is unhealthy. The relationship is dead.

It's dead.

It's dead. And it's crazy you say that. I say these exact words to him every single day when I'm so frustrated, I tell him this relationship is dead.

But what you need to stop doing is repeating yourself and you need to take a deep breath. It is what it is already.

Now you see where his behavior is coming from. If you having to tell her 2 or 3 times, 4 times, what you think I gotta do at the crib? Like what? Come on now. Okay.

The last piece of advice that I'm gonna give you is you're a young man and the arrogance you have around how you see gender roles in relationships is going to keep you trapped in a space that's unhealthy as a man and you're never gonna find the love that you deserve, okay? [Speaker] Right. [Speaker] So you start defending your heart and not his actions. You got it? Walk away. Walk away. And the next time you wanna start defending, what you gonna do?

Walk away.

Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath. Look at that. He even tell you.

I listen.

I heard it.

Look.

I wish y'all the best of luck apart.