Before We Get Married, Is He My Son? | KARAMO

What was going through your mind when you saw this other man behind the wheel of your car?

I was angry and I was like, "She fucking with me." Yeah, point blank. Yeah.

Yeah. Was he just dropping her off at work?

No, he had, I guess she had took the car and went and picked him up from his house. Then she went to work to clock in and then they went out afterwards.

Got it. And so sometime in between then, they wrecked your car.

Yeah, coming back from going out.

Coming back from going out. What did she say when you asked her?

She said she did it.

She said she did it.

Yeah.

Because of course she was gonna admit this.

Yeah.

So did pieces of the truth ever come out?

A coworker started to like drop hints. He's like, "You should check the," he's like, "You should check and see the cameras." One of her coworkers or your coworkers? We were working at the same place.

Oh.

So he said, "You should check those cameras, get 'em to check the cameras." cameras. So when he checked it, when we checked the cameras, uh, end up seeing her pull up, but she didn't get out the driver's side, she got out the passenger side. So I couldn't see who was in the driver's side first. And then she leaves, she clocked in and she left. And then she came back like 3 and a half hours later and the car is like this wobbling. So, uh, he pulls in and that's when you see a guy get out the driver's seat and she get out the passenger seat.

Is this the first time she's done something like this?

No.

No. No. 'Cause y'all been together for 5 years?

Yeah.

And in the 5 years, what else has she done?

She had a bartender job and when she was bartending, she just kept going out, kept going out with her friends and she'd be like, make arguments up in order to be able to go out. And one day I had went out and I looked at the bar, she's standing outside the bar talking to a guy. It was like right before her birthday. So then her birth, she left for right before her birthday. She was gone for like a weekend. 3 days after her birthday, she took a pregnancy test and it came up pregnant.

Got it, got it. So do you think that this baby might not be yours?

I was waiting for some more prominent features of mine to develop in the baby, but I don't see my, not my personal features in it. But I could see, I could see.

He did a horrible job. What happened? What upset you the most about what he said?

About my son.

About your son?

Yeah.

Uh-huh. What about it?

That he said he's not his. And it's like, how the fuck could I cheat on you and have all this time to cheat when I'm helping you take care of your kids because your baby's mother can't do it?

So you're saying that you don't go out and partying like the way he says that you do?

No. I go out and I have fun, but there's a difference between going out and fucking and going out and having fun and being a whore.

So you're saying when you go out, you come straight home?

No, I come home at like 6:00 AM. That's what time the after hours close. Like, you know what I mean? Like if you're going out to the club and it's after hours.

You come home at 6:00 AM?

Yeah, it's after hours.

But 6:00 AM?

No one goes, no one parties at 9:00 PM. We all leave at 1:00, come home at 6:00.

6:00 AM? You know what I mean? Yeah.

6:00 AM.

Where you live at?

Where do I live? In Pittsburgh.

You live in Pittsburgh?

Just like how when you come home after you're done fucking bitches for paying for sex, you know what I mean?

That's a big accusation. You're saying that he is cheating on you and pays for sex?

Yeah, he does.

Is that true?

I cheated back.

You cheated back?

Yeah, from the times that I would catch her or find out stuff, I would try to get my get back.

Got it. But let me be clear. So I know earlier we talked, So you said you only saw, you didn't know if she actually had sex or cheated. You just knew that she was with the guy in the car. Did you actually know that she cheated? Did you confess to cheating?

After the fact.

You did? So after the fact you confessed to cheating?

Yeah.

At first it wasn't. She said, "What? No, we ain't do nothing. I was just talking to somebody." That's what it was.

After the fact, he was getting his information from somebody he was trying to sleep with and take her to hotels. That's why she ratted, so she can have relations with him.

Is that true?

Yeah.

I didn't get that information from her.

But you were trying to have sex with her?

Yeah, the messages were done before.

After I got the information.

I wanna take you to a telly, you look so good.

Yeah, that was after I got the information.

So what is your version of the car story? 'Cause I heard his version of the car story.

My version, I asked him for the car, I drive to where I'm going to my location. Yeah, it was raining. I let the dude drive, he takes me to work, I clock in, I do what I'm supposed to do at work first, and then I automatically go home.

Why do you let another dude drive your man's car?

Why would I let another man drive my man's car? Why would my man have relations with my best friend after I was going through postpartum depression? That's why.

It wasn't after. I slept with her while you were going out to that club, staying out with some friends.

You slept with her while I was pregnant.

No. Yeah, you did.

What? Yeah, you did. No, you were going out to that club. And then she only slept with you because she ain't want nobody else sleeping with you. Y'all was making it as if y'all was family.

She made it seem like that, but she took You made it seem as if y'all was family.

Mr. Chio left the door with a robe on and I came right in, you know what I mean, type things. And I'm like, that's corny. That's lame, that's lame behavior. How are you gonna sit here and act as if you love somebody and you don't?

So Caleb, you started cheating first?

Yes.

No.

Lies.

No.

Caleb been cheating.

No.

Caleb been cheating.

No.

Caleb goes on sites. Caleb pays for a vagina for another female. Caleb do all types of stuff and say, oh, I use protection, that's what I'm supposed to do. Mind you, I'm big pregnant, huh? Huh?

Caleb, so you've been together for 5 years, is this true?

Yeah, we've been together for 5 years.

Yeah, we've been together for 5 years. When did you start cheating?

Off the rip. When we first started talking, I gave her like, I gave her 2 weeks. I said, look, you got 2 weeks to get your hoes outta your phone, all that type of stuff out your phone. And then we could, 'cause I know that you can't just cut off your hoes that quick.

Yeah, you can.

It's not that easy all the time.

Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can.

So I gave her a 2-week grace period. You know what I mean? 'Cause I met—

And so what did you do with that 2 weeks? Were you still engaged in that?

No, I wasn't. We were both recently released from incarceration. So I was like, "All right, I'll wait, you know? Like, I'll give you this 2 weeks." I was looking for something that we could do real. 'Cause like we was hanging out and at first it was just going to be for play. But then I started to catch feelings and I said, "Hey look, I'm catching feelings. I don't want to," you know what I mean, "do it like this no more. If you don't want to do it, that's fine. Like we could do something else, whatever, whatever." But she was like, "No, I do wanna try." And I was like, "All right, cool." But through all that, I gave her that 2 weeks, right? And thought we was cool. So then I check her phone eventually 'cause we're like being this honest couple and giving each other phones. Man, was not true. She was still cheating. And then even right now—

Were you still cheating?

Yeah, so was he with his baby's mom.

No, I wasn't.

Does it bother you that he thinks your son isn't yours?

Yeah, it bothers the heck outta me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, if you didn't give me no reason about it.

Someone in my audience says it doesn't seem like it. I believe, I agree. They said it doesn't seem like it really bothers you that he says it.

It bothers me terribly.

Does it?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, because we tried for years to have a child and we couldn't because I had a lot of scar tissue. So, you know, we bought these products and we're using them to try to conceive a child. I conceive a child, I find out I'm pregnant on my father's death date. Not 3 days after my birthday, you know what I mean? It wasn't nothing like that. And then I come downstairs with the test and he's like, "So who's the dad?" And I'm like—

You did that?

I probably did.

It's not probably, you did.

I probably did.

And you guys are engaged, right?

Yes.

Do you ever tell him you don't love him? Do you ever tell him you don't love him?

Yes.

You tell him all the time you don't love him?

Yes.

But why do you say that?

Why do I not wanna be with him?

Yeah, why do you say I don't, I don't love you and I don't wanna be with you, but then stay?

Because I'm doing it more for the sake, the children's sake.

His children from the other relationship?

Yes, when you grow a bond with the child, why would you wanna break that bond when you've been with them since they were like this?

Well, I—

You know what I mean? Like, that's sad.

Some of y'all could clap to that, but I have different opinions on that.

That's lame.

I have different opinions on that.

That's lame.

Because I believe that if the parent isn't healthy, then that's the reason why you on every plane, they say, make sure you put your mask on first, Because if the parent isn't healthy, you might have a bond with them, but all you're doing is now passing on unhealthy behavior to a child. Absolutely. It's better to say to the child, I'm gonna heal myself so that way I can come back and be a better parent and we can be better for you.

Absolutely.

So do you feel like you shouldn't be together?

Sometimes.

Sometimes?

Yeah, sometimes.

Okay. Do you feel misunderstood by him?

A lot of the times, yes.

Well, I brought up before, you're 24.

Yes.

So you're 39, you're 24. That's a 15-year age difference.

Absolutely.

So y'all been together for 5 years. Yes. So you were basically just 18 when y'all got together.

Yes, sir.

She didn't never told me how old she was. I knew she had just got outta jail.

So you thought she was older?

Yes. And then we start talking and she let me think she was 21 for a few weeks, for real, for real. I didn't find out she was 19 until she was 19.

Got it, okay.

Yeah, you had to be 19 'cause it was October.

Okay, listen, I think the thing is that we came here for one main thing, which is the DNA outcome to understand if this young child, this beautiful child is your child. Yes, sir. Do you feel in your heart that this is your child?

I mean, we have a bond like he's my child and I want him to be. Yeah, but it's just, I was looking for certain features. Like he don't have my gap and different things that I thought he would have.

He look just like your daughter.

Well listen, it's time for the DNA outcome. In this envelope, we have the result of if this is your child or if this is not your child. This is a moment. How do you feel?

I'm nervous.

Okay, 'cause clarity is in this. It's time to reveal the truth. That's for you to answer.

Can you read it out loud please? And thank you.

Kaleas is your biological son.

Oh. No.

I'm sorry. Okay. How do you feel now that you got vindicated?

How do I feel? I feel great.

You feel great?

I mean, I wasn't, there was nothing for me to be nervous about in the first place. I know who I slept with. You know what I mean? I'm not that type of person.

Got it. Okay. How do you feel now that you know?

I mean, I feel better. A lot better actually. 'Cause like, I feel like I could at least let that go and don't have to hold onto that. Like, so maybe we could let that, that section of stuff just die. Like, you know?

Yeah, well, it's funny that you use that word die, is because this relationship has never been alive. It's never been healthy. This relationship has been dead from the beginning. You never built a foundation. The foundation was broken from day one.

Correct.

From day one.

Correct.

Where you got with someone who, both of y'all sound like y'all should have probably found out, went out there and explored the world, especially you, you being young. You got into something and now you starting to think that this is what a healthy relationship is.

Right.

But what I do wanna say is you owe her a deep apology because for you and her to make the decision to try to have a child, you know the issues she's having with her body as a woman, and yet you still, when she comes to you with this information, disrespect her in that way.

Right.

When you have told me clearly that since day one you've been cheating, day one, for you to project that on her in that moment is downright disrespectful and hurtful. And this for it to be a young woman to have her first experience of having a child to be with someone she loves.

Can I have a tissue?

Here you go.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I know.

I can only imagine.

Yeah, it sucks.

Yeah. That is her first experience as a young mother trying with the man she loves. No matter what toxic behavior y'all had in that moment, she thought that this was something that was going to mend the relationship, was something that y'all had worked on, that y'all wanted to start a family. And you robbed her of that moment.

Yeah, definitely.

You robbed her and then robbed her of a pregnancy that was probably going to be happy when you slept with whomever it was.

Yeah.

And I also hear that she had postpartum.

Yeah, it was terrible.

What are you thinking about right now?

I don't know, a lot actually. I don't know, I don't really express myself. I keep it bottled up all the time. So it sucks being who I am sometimes. So it's like terrible. Yeah. And postpartum, it's just like, I feel as if it ruined me more than what I already was. I feel as if I was in a dark place that I couldn't get out of by myself, mentally, emotionally, physically, all that. And I needed my partner and my partner was nowhere to be found.

What do you gotta say to her?

I'm sorry. I didn't, it was a lot of stuff that we had going on and if I could take it back, I would. But I'm sorry for what I said and how I acted.

I apologize as well for my actions, for me not being honest with you all the time and me exploding on you and acting as if I don't care when I really do.

The fact that she could even be a big enough woman right now in this moment to apologize, which I truly tell you the honest truth, I would've told you not to. You didn't need to give that apology.

Right.

You did not. Right. And I don't know if you've been hearing that enough and like I can tell when I start talking about your experience, I know what brought the emotions out is 'cause you're like, 'cause you had somebody see you and validate what you've been experiencing. Yeah. She's younger and she's retaliating because she's afraid to express to you because when you have a partner who you can't be vulnerable with at a young age, you don't know how to make choices that are gonna better yourself. You make things, you're doing things so inadvertently, you know you're hurting yourself. You know that. But you also acknowledge that right now you have some work to do on your self-esteem.

Yes, sir.

So that's what's happening right now. She's a young woman who's trying to figure out how to work on herself and she doesn't know how because she has a partner who's not working on himself. You know that, right?

Yep.

At the end of the day, you have a choice to make for your son, for those other children that she's helping to take care of, is can you start to create a space and an environment where your woman can be vulnerable, where your woman can feel safe, and where your kids can see you model the proper behavior? Because this choice is going to start with you. I'm telling you that. This starts and ends with you. Can you do that?

Yeah.

I pray you can. And I'm sorry, I'm sure you thought like I was gonna hear this and think like, oh, she's bad, she's bad, she's bad. This is a 24-year-old woman and you are a 39, 20-year-old, 40-year-old man who knows better. We the same age. We know better. Do you love the Karamo Show? Yes. Well, we're back for season 2, so make sure to subscribe to The Karamo Show.