Can My Manipulative Dad Change His Ways? | KARAMO
In this episode of Karamo, host Karamo mediates a fraught family reunion between siblings Keena and Kenneth (also called Kenneth) and their absentee, manipulative father Keith, who is accompanied by his fiancée Ingrid. The siblings, raised primarily by their mother Latrice (who declined to attend), recount decades of neglect, broken promises, and emotional abuse, including missed birthdays, a car accident where Keith failed to respond, and a paternity doubt that was resolved when Keith finally acknowledged Kenneth as his son. Throughout the conversation, Karamo probes the siblings’ childhood experiences, the mother’s perspective, and the father’s inconsistent behavior, highlighting patterns of lying, manipulation, and emotional distancing. Karamo offers counseling‑style guidance, warning the siblings about “I‑statements” that mask manipulation, urging them to set firm boundaries, avoid begging for love, and recognize genuine apologies. The episode culminates in a tentative reconciliation: Keith admits his mistakes, promises consistent contact, and expresses love using “I” statements, while the siblings reaffirm their bond and articulate why they love each other. Karamo closes with advice to remain vigilant against future manipulation and to nurture the sibling relationship.
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So tell me, why do you need my help?
Oh my God, it's horrible. I do want a relationship. I'm here because I want a relationship with my dad.
Yes.
It's been almost 35 years and he's been kind of in and out.
Okay.
Through my entire life.
Yep.
So I either want to fix and repair the relationship so we can move forward or just, I just wanna release him and release my heart and just, we can just part ways.
So what was your childhood like growing up with your dad?
It wasn't. My mom was 100% there. He kind of—
You look adorable. Adorable.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
My mom was there, so I was raised in a one-parent household for as long as I can remember. Yeah. My dad was always in and out. I remember snippets of him coming in, kind of saying hi, or we would go visit him sometimes on the weekends, but it was nothing like Steady.
No real relationship.
No real relationship.
What does your mom say about Keith?
He's not a good dad. And she's never spoke negative about my dad until we were much older.
Yes.
Like adult.
When you were younger, did you ever ask about Keith and say, where's my dad? Like, why is he not showing up as much?
Yes, all the time.
And what happened? What did you get? What answer did we get?
Well, he's living his life. He'll come around. My mom was kind of just gotta kind of protect us. From that, but I was always the one to try and reach out to him.
Well, I think it's important to mention that we asked Keena and Kenneth's mom, Latrice, to be here, but she declined because she wanted to protect her peace.
Yes.
That's the reason your mom said she wouldn't be here today.
My mom did not wanna come.
How did that make you feel when she said she didn't wanna be here?
I understood. I know my mom dealt with a lot with him. My mom was his first, or he was my mom's first, I'm sorry. She lost her virginity to him. That was her first love. 'cause that's all that she knew. And the negative things that he says about my mom, it was hurtful.
Yeah, well Keith's fiancée, your father's fiancée, Ingrid, is here in our audience. Thanks for being here. And we'll talk to you in just a bit. But I do wanna know, what do you think of his fiancée Ingrid?
She's good. She has good intentions, but she kind of need to step out of it and let it be between me and my dad.
Okay. We have a text message that I want to see. This is a message between you and Ingrid? Hey sweetie, I'm here. Thanks for reaching out. My dad has never been consistent and that's all I ask. I was in a car accident, horrible. I didn't get a text, call or anything. So at this point I'm done and so is my brother. He acts like we do not exist to him. It's been like that since we were children. Oh my gosh, I didn't know you was in a car accident, baby. I'm so sorry. Thank God you're okay. Did he ever know? I'm gonna ask if he did, then he's wrong for that and that's not cool. So it looks like Ingrid wants to be supportive.
And this here, this here, she wants to be supportive, but me texting her and letting her know that I was in a car accident, and even if he didn't know, that text right there, he still didn't reach out to me after that text. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So it was like, shit.
Yeah. I'm sorry.
This is real life for me.
Yeah, here you go, love.
Sorry, this is real life for me. This is not for show, this is not fake. I love my dad, he just wasn't a good dad.
I'm a girl, I'm a woman.
I needed that, I needed that.
So I know you told my producers that Keith came to the birth of your child.
Yes.
But can you explain, did something happen?
He came to the birth, yeah. He came to watch me give birth to my last child. I thought that was like a good step in the right direction. I thought we was good. We was texting here and there. Then he just changed his number and didn't give it to me.
I haven't seen him in over 10 years.
Oh wow. And how old are you?
I'm 36 now.
36.
So he's lost all the childhood years. He lost the teenage years, the me becoming a man years. I'm like over it now, you know?
Mm-hmm.
But when he did, when I did see him, he wasn't coming to actually see me.
Yeah.
And when I almost lost my life, on my deathbed, how could you take 2 months to come and see me after I got shot. I would've been on the phone. If I found out my son got shot, I would've been on the first thing the next day. But the real reason why he came to see me, he was using me as liability. He was using me as an excuse to his wife now. Because he came, sat on my couch for an hour, we drunk a beer, we had a nice, we had a conversation, that was it. He talking about the same thing about my mom this, my mom that. My mom is, she's married now. She's got a whole husband. She's not thinking about you. It's always you bringing up my mom, my mom this, my mom that. But then when I got shot and he came to sit on my couch for an hour and we had that conversation and he was back out the door, but his excuse was to his wife to go see another woman. That was his excuse. That was his excuse.
So your father came 2 months or 3 months after you got shot, saw you an hour, but it was only just an excuse in your opinion so that he can go see another woman?
Yes, 30 minutes away from mine.
It was, he said that to me.
You just said I was somewhere with another woman. I was in the hotel when I left you guys.
You told us that.
You said that. So you lying.
So you lying.
Oh my God. First she tried to make it seem like I had a family member that lived 30 minutes away from my town.
What you mean 30 minutes? I live 4 and a half hours away from y'all. No, that's where I live. That's where I went to the hotel at.
You don't even make no sense, man. That makes a lot of sense.
I know people in Springfield. I know people in Jackson.
Why would you drive 30 minutes to Jacksonville?
I know people in Jacksonville too.
Come on, man. What you say? I think I'm a sex addict. You don't remember saying that?
No, I ain't never said that. No, I don't remember saying that.
You's a liar.
Now you's a liar.
Y'all disrespect.
Y'all disrespect.
Take a seat from me.
That's crazy.
That is disrespect.
So you live on You're only 4 hours away from your kids.
4 and a half hours.
4 and a half hours. And you've only seen them once in 10 years?
No, I try to keep reaching out to them. I see them whenever I get a chance. They don't reach back. That's a lie. I'm the one keep reaching. That's why I stopped calling. I stopped texting. That's a lie. When do you ever call? I stopped everything.
You miss them a lot.
Because they don't reach back.
That's a lie.
They never reach back to me. Every time, like, Kendall's birthday, his last birthday, I said, "Happy birthday." He didn't say anything.
When my birthday?
He didn't say anything.
When my birthday?
When is my birthday?
When is my birthday?
When is my birthday?
I wanna ask you a question. I wanna ask you a question. Do you know your children's birthday? You can tell me.
Yeah, I'm pretty, I got their birth certificates and everything.
Well, what's their birthday?
What's my birthday?
What's my birthday?
Well, no, no, no, no. We're not gonna reverse it. We're not gonna reverse it.
No, we'll reverse it.
As a father, you're the father here though. So as a father, you should know your children's birthday without asking them if they know yours. What is your children's?
I understand that part. I understand that part, but it's nothing to teaching them.
It's okay to own that you have made mistakes. And that you don't know their birthday? 'Cause I'm not leaving this. What is your children's birthday?
Well, you know, I know it's in September, you know, and I don't know exactly the day.
You don't know your children's birthday? You know, it's bad, but— I got 2 kids.
Secondly. That's not hard to remember.
It's bad that I don't.
Secondly, you're saying right now that you have believed that Kenneth is not your child. Correct?
The way he disrespect you.
I try to respect him all. I gave him numerous, numerous chances and I see he don't care.
You don't care.
He don't care, so I'm over it.
I reach back to you and Kenya all the time.
It's been 25 years.
Y'all never reached back, that's what made me gave up. That made me gave up when you never reached back.
I know he my daddy, but it's not gonna change nothing with this man. It's not gonna change nothing.
It's gonna change.
It's not gonna change nothing.
If you just open up to me. And stop pushing me away.
How?
Come on, I never pushed you. I pushed you away in the beginning. You always pushed me away, Kenneth. But I allowed you back in my life because I want that father-son bond. And I figured like, once I allowed you back in my life and you still doing the same thing.
Doing what? I'm not doing anything.
I'm not trying to be in our life.
We both gotta reach down.
Let's get this first.
I'm not gonna keep reaching, you gotta reach it back.
So Keith, I think it's important since you are the one who has said You might not be my son. Since you're the one who has had doubts in your head, I think it's important that you read this.
Okay. Keith, Kenneth is your son.
Exactly.
Oh my God.
Exactly.
Oh man, I love you, man.
Oh, this is my son for real, okay.
Now you know, now you know.
Now I know now. Oh my God. I had doubts, but he's my son.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry, McKinney. I am so sorry. I want y'all in my life for real. I'm not gonna never, I'm not gonna never, I'm not gonna never push y'all away ever again, okay? I'm not gonna never try to do that ever.
We heard this.
I know, many times. It's not gonna happen no more.
Tell them that you're not gonna give up no more. These kids have been abandoned by you. They have not felt like you love them and your only thing that you've been out here has been, oh my gosh, why didn't y'all reach out? Why didn't y'all do something? It is not their job to reach out to you. It was never, it was yours.
Right, and I apologize for that. It's gonna be different.
Tell your kids you love 'em right now and tell 'em why you love them.
I love you, Kenneth. I love you because you my son. You always been my son. I had problems, I knew I had problems. And I changed, I'm older and I'm getting older now. I need y'all in my life and I know y'all need me, you know, all the stuff that I have in my heart, I can let you know things that I wouldn't—
So I'm gonna stop you real quick.
Mm-hmm.
Because I asked you to tell your kids why you love them and I've counted 4 I statements in that. It was I, I, I, I. Tell your kid why you love them without talking about you.
You, okay. I love you because you're a man now. You have a beautiful son. You're gonna be doing well because I'm gonna make sure I stay in your life and do the right thing and be consistent like what you want me to do. I'm gonna do this not because I wanna do, I'm gonna do it because you want me to do this because, and it's gonna come from my heart, not just because I'm just saying it or lying like you may think I'm lying. I'm not gonna never do that. I'm gonna be honest with you. From this point on, always, I promise. Same with you, Kenya. I'mma always be honest with everything that we're gonna be doing together forever, from now on.
And so you gonna call?
I'mma call.
You gonna reach out?
I'mma be consistent. I'mma reach out.
You gonna invite us to things?
I'mma invite you to things.
Be a part of your family? Yes. Okay.
Because all of us, we have a real, real big family and we all need to come together.
Keith, I really appreciate you coming on the show and for spending this moment with me. I'm gonna have you have the real reuniting with your children backstage, but I'm gonna thank you for being on my stage really quickly. Thank you. And I'm gonna thank you, Ingrid, for being here. I'm gonna have y'all walk backstage really quickly and I'm gonna just talk to y'all. This was manipulative in my opinion. And you came here for my opinion. I asked your father to tell you why he loved you. First time he said I statements. Second time he talked about the things that you've done that are great as a man. And then he went right back into I statements. He could not describe why he loved you. And so what I didn't wanna do is set you up with some fake hug and some fake thing to say, oh great, everything's wrapped up because you need to have the tools to be able to maintain and start to heal yourselves. And so if no one, if your father can't give you the tools to heal yourself, I'm gonna be here to help you to heal yourself. So your father's not in the space to understand why he loves you. He doesn't know. Your father's also a habitual liar. And so the thing is, these are things you've already aware. So the thing is, is that it's going to be, you need to be cautious about how you move forward. And if he ever starts any statement with I, I, I talking about him, you walk away. Don't argue with him no more. Y'all don't keep begging him anymore because y'all are grown people who don't deserve to beg a man to love y'all and tell you why he loves y'all. You understand?
Yes, sir.
He's the one that missed out on two amazing children. I've been here just for a little bit and I know what children you are. He missed out. This is his bad. And even though he's trying to say to y'all, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," them tears came way too quick for me. Way too quick. Way too quick. So please watch out for the language. Be open, be vulnerable, use your words, but also challenge him. But challenge him with words like, "Why do you love me?" me.
That should be easy.
Should be easy. And one day I hope it will get easy for him.
Yeah.
But until that day, I don't want y'all getting sucked back in with a fake apology or something that's manipulative. And so that's the only advice for you all. You all have this amazing relationship with each other.
Yeah, this is my best friend.
I know. Yeah. And so this is where I want this to end. 'Cause I have siblings and there was a point in my life where my father wasn't able to do what he needed to do. To do. But the person that I could turn to always was my sisters. We had each other's back and to this day we still have each other's back. So I want you to tell your brother why you love him because earlier you said that he has his father's characteristics and I don't want y'all saying those things to each other anymore. So please tell your brother why you love him.
Okay.
So I love you because of course you my brother. You always been there for me. You my homie.
I love you forever.
You're more than, you was like my first love even though My dad was supposed to be that. You was that for me.
Good job. Tell your sister why you love her.
I love you 'cause you my little big sister.
Yeah, I am that.
She just my best friend.
So you see, this is the real love.
Yeah.
Now that's how you tell somebody I love you. So y'all continue to keep supporting each other and loving each other. Keep protecting each other and watch out for him, okay? Give each other a hug. Yeah. Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.
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