A father and daughter confront a painful history: she was sexually assaulted and he wasn't there to protect her. She says she forgives him but doesn't want a relationship. He apologizes for his absence, but the mediator pushes him to understand what she actually needs from him now.
Chapters
So I guess this is the text exchange between you two. "What did I do to you that was so wrong you didn't believe me when I told you I was sexually assaulted?" When she told you that you were sexually assaulted, do you not believe her?
I didn't even know anything about it until— Hold on. I didn't even know anything about it until afterwards, and I wanted to go after the person who did it.
I gotta tell you, the biggest red flag for me is when someone tells you they're sexually assaulted and they're your daughter, I know you said you didn't hear it or you heard it later.
I heard it from somebody else.
But even if you heard it from someone else, even to this moment right now, you're more about defending when you heard it or when not than realizing that your daughter, that's a traumatic situation.
And so even in this moment, I need to stop before we go to anything else and you have to look at her and acknowledge that she went through something traumatic. That's for a young woman in this world She's supposed to feel safe and you're her father figure. And in a moment when she got, she felt assaulted, felt attacked, look at her head right now. She did not feel safe. What do you say to that?
Well, all I'm just saying is, you know, I mean—
Don't say it to me.
No, I'm just saying, I, at the time I'm telling you, I didn't know.
But again, you just did what I just told you not to do. You're talking about defending when you knew it or not.
Your daughter said she was sexually assaulted.
Speak from your heart to your daughter right now.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I really am. I'm not defending myself. I'm just saying I'm sorry that that had happened to you. I am sorry. I'm sorry that that happened. I'm sorry. I wish I could be there. Honestly, maybe I could.
I know you wasn't, so it don't even matter.
No, it does matter. You know? No, it does matter.
I forgive you, but I'm gonna move on.
So what do you mean by that, you wanna move on?
I don't want no relationship.
There's a really good piece here that's going on.
Do you know she has abandonment issues?
No.
And I'm not saying that you're a bad guy.
You took in this child and I know you love her.
I do.
I know you love her.
I love her very much.
I know you do. But the thing is, is that by the way that you've been approaching this, being strict, talking about what I did for you, is not what this little girl needed. She needed to know that she was safe. She needed to know that she was protected. She needed to know that she's not gonna be replaced. She needs to know that she's loved. She needs you to talk to her Talk from your heart more.
I'm sorry, you know, that I wasn't there as much as you want me to be there for you. I wish I can go back in time and change things.
Yeah, we all do, but you have chances to sit there and fix things. You don't, you just sit there and rant and throw things away.
But that's why I came on this show so I can try to fix it.
