Control Your Anger, I’m Pregnant With Your Child | KARAMO

Mercedes is 6 months pregnant and all alone, but by choice. Because 4 months ago, Mercedes kicked her husband Haywood out of the house because during an argument, he bit her twice. She called the police and refused to let him back in the house. Let's meet her and talk more about this. Mercedes, come on out. How are you doing? Hi. It's such a pleasure. You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Take a seat for me. So I just heard that he bit you during an argument. What happened?

Yes, a few months ago he bit me during an argument.

Excuse me, a few months ago he bit you during an argument. What happened?

We had been in an altercation probably about 3 days straight.

Okay.

So we just ensued in a scuffle. From there he bit me and left bruises and marks. But like I said, it was an altercation, so he had bruises as well. I called the police and he has been out of the house since then.

Yeah. So why are you here today?

My husband and I do not communicate well at all, and I felt like we needed a mediator.

Yes.

He does not hear me, I don't hear him, and we don't have understanding on anything.

So the stakes are high for you right now because Not only do you all have a child together, you also are pregnant now.

Yes.

Mm-hmm. I'm so happy. So this is really important to you.

Yes, it's important for me. I would like to save our marriage, but if we can't, we at least need to be able to co-parent.

I want you to tell me about the day that you kicked him out. What was going on that day?

I didn't even really know why he was angry. He woke up mad, yelling. And I kind of just ignored him. And because I ignored him, he got more and more angry. And I found out later it was because of a FaceTime he saw in my phone.

Okay.

It was an unanswered FaceTime from an ex of mine, an old ex of mine. And so he felt that we were back communicating and that just set him off.

Were you two communicating?

No.

Not at all, okay.

Any text messages we had, they were unanswered on my end and he saw that.

Okay, yeah, so he saw that you weren't communicating.

Right.

So with you two being together, was there other behaviors that he exhibited before you called the police that day?

He's been increasingly insecure and really accusatory all the time. And I don't answer anymore because regardless of what I say, His mind is already made up.

Got it.

So I've just, and that makes him more angry that I don't give him the validation that he needs.

Got it. So he went to jail when you called the police that time?

Yes.

And so is it true that when he got outta jail, he stole your car?

Yes.

Tell me about that.

He had a backup key to my car. Now, although we are married, we do have separate transportation. Yes. So he had a backup key. He snuck into my house and he stole my car. At that time, I did not call the police or do anything because it's a nice car. So I can track my car through my phone. I just looked up where my car was, went and got it. I didn't want any altercation with him.

Yeah.

So I retrieved my car. I went straight to the dealership, got it rekeyed and went on. I didn't give him any, energy towards that. After that didn't work, Haywood came back to the house and he's an electrician, so he cut the power.

And your child's in there?

My children.

Children, okay.

And I felt like he cut the power in an attempt to lure me out of the house. Again, I did not react. I did call the police, but by the time they got there, he was gone. All of this was in violation of a protection order. He wasn't supposed to be there, but And he did cut the power back on before he left, but it was a disconnection for about 45 minutes.

So, 'cause I'm trying to get this. So when did you see changes in his behavior? Was it after he was arrested?

No, this was not his first arrest.

Okay.

It has just gotten increasingly worse. I don't, I would say sometime after our son was born and he's 1 now, so, Right after the birth of him, when I started to get pregnancy weight off and get back to being myself, he got increasingly insecure.

Got it. And you unlocked your phone for him, correct?

He's always had my password. He took both of my phones. I did not fight to get them back. I didn't do anything. In fact, I left and went to lunch with a friend and let him have free rein to do.

Why did you just let him unlock your phones when there's, when his behavior was the one that was erratic?

Because I felt like it would calm him some, but it didn't. When he didn't see anything, he made up something to, yeah.

Okay, I think this is a time for us to meet Heywood. Okay. But the thing is that Heywood, my producers are telling me right now, is refusing to come on stage right now.

Okay.

So he's flown here, but he is refusing to come on stage. Does that surprise you that he's acting that way?

No.

It doesn't surprise you?

Whenever things don't go his way, he's difficult.

Okay, so I'm gonna ask you one more time. You wanna salvage this relationship?

Yes.

Okay, only reason I'm asking that is because if you did not wanna salvage this relationship, I would not get up and go out back here to try to get him.

Okay.

Because I do hear behaviors that are unhealthy, and so for me, When I start hearing those things, it dictates how I move and how I respond. But if you really want the communication to be better, I'll go back there and try to talk to him really quickly. Please do. Okay, I'll be right back. Mm-hmm. Give me a second. There you go. Thank you, thank you. Hey, it's Karamo. Good morning, man. How you doing, boy? I'm good. So I'm hearing you have an issue coming out. Is everything okay? So do you wanna come out and talk? I know Jamal. You got the wrong person. My name Jamal. Your name is Jamal? So Heywood, we know that it's you inside of there. I have a whole team out here that saw you walk inside of there. So I understand there's probably something going on with you. Is there a fear of why you don't wanna come out right now? Your wife would like to salvage your relationship and I'm here to try to help you to do that. To do that. But if you're staying in the bathroom, I cannot help you and support your relationship getting to where it needs to be. Do you want your relationship to be healthy? I'm gonna ask you one more time because I'm not gonna beg a grown man to come out the bathroom. Would you like to come out here and talk to me so that I can support you in getting back into a place with your wife where you're communicating, where you're healthy, where you can be there for your kid, where you can be there for your future child that's coming. Do you wanna come out? You made your point, I'm done. Did you see what's going on backstage? How does it make you feel?

Hopeless.

Hopeless. Yeah. Why does that make you feel hopeless?

Why is this? Because we can't get anywhere if he's not willing to communicate. And this is constant. Whenever things do not go his way, this is what happens. Or either it's a big outburst.

Yeah. I can see the pattern of behavior without even meeting him. I've never seen him. I don't know what he looks like, but I can see I see his behaviors and it paints a very clear picture of who he is as a man. You have 6 children total?

I have 6. Together, he and I have 10 children and this is 11.

Got it. So on your own, you have 6 children, you have 1 with him and you have another on the way?

Yes.

So in actuality, you have 8 children in the house. He's number 8? That was a child I talked to backstage.

I know that now, yes.

Why, with this behavior continuing, do you feel like you're staying?

Honestly, I've stayed because firstly, we are married. The second thing would be for the children. And I've been really patient with him because I understand, I see see there's something wrong. That's not normal adult behavior. And like I said, I've asked him repeatedly to go to therapy. He's agreed, but he has not gone.

So I'm gonna back up 'cause I asked you why you didn't leave and you said everything external that's outside of you. What made you stay? And that's it. Listen, what you just did there is something that a lot of women do. We go to, women go to like, well, I'm staying for because I made this commitment. 'Cause women are commitment-focused. You made a commitment, you're with the kids, you're doing all these things. What is it for you why you stayed?

Because I love my husband.

Well, do you love yourself more?

I do.

Do you think you're exhibiting loving yourself more?

I have, which is why he hasn't been back home.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Yes.

Do you think your picker is off with men? Yes. Okay. Why? Because the thing is, is that if I don't help you to figure out that question, what's gonna happen is the next man you're gonna do the same thing with.

I have no idea. I honestly just feel like it's bad luck because it starts out good like every relationship does.

Yeah.

It starts out good and then we're ending up here.

It's not bad luck. It's something about is going on with inside of you, inside of yourself, esteem that is making you feel like this is what you deserve. Because you're consciously picking out these men, but unconsciously you know that they can't give you what you need.

I know this is not what I deserve.

Yes.

And I'm now aware that he can't give me what I need.

So are you ready to leave him?

I am.

You're gonna leave him? Yeah. All right. What is heartbreaking to me me right now is nothing about him. I could care less about him. That is a child. That is not a man that is ready and deserves you. What is heartbreaking for me is that I wish that I had more time to figure out why you, my sister, are picking men that are damaged and unemotionally available. That is what kills me right now because you deserve more. But as long as you can make the commitment to leave him today, that's gonna be a big first step. But you gotta do some digging, okay?

Okay.

All right, good. Listen. Thank you for being with us, everyone. I want you to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and growing. I love you all. All right, quick update, y'all. So Haywood finally came out of the bathroom. He told the producers that he was worried he was going to be served with the divorce papers on stage and he didn't want his marriage to end. Girl, bye. Girl, not on my show. We don't have time for that. That woman deserves more. Doesn't deserve a coward or a child that's going to hide in the bathroom. Can I get an amen? Amen. Hold on. Where you going? I'll tell you where you're going. Right here to subscribe. And right here to watch more. Period.