Dad, It's Been 8 Years, Where Have You Been? | KARAMO

So to know that you haven't seen your father in 8 years, why do you all think that is?

Well, he's been in and outta jail.

Yeah. Okay.

All our lives.

I feel like he's stuck in one spot and he just don't wanna move on from the past.

Don't wanna move on.

Yeah.

I think for context, it's important when we're talking about he's been missing for 8 years, you're 18 and 19. Who's 18 and who's 19?

No, I'm 20. Oh, you're 20?

Oh, you just had birthdays. Okay, so 19 and 20. So we're talking about their entire childhood basically that you're saying that's when he's been missing. So do you think that you being pregnant is the reason, has something to do with your dad trying to come back in your life now?

I honestly feel like yes, because before when we would have like, we would try to have conversations when I was trying to still have a relationship with him, it was like we would have arguments and he would just go ghost. Like if he disagreed with it, it was like I was talking to somebody my age and not like my dad, a grown man, you know what I'm saying?

Got it.

So he would just go ghost and I would feel hurt. It was just heartbreaking that he didn't wanna talk to me anymore. And this happened multiple times. But once I told him I was pregnant, he just kept on going. He still wanted to talk and I just wasn't feeling it. I didn't wanna talk. So I asked him, I said, "Are you doing this 'cause I'm pregnant?" He said, "Yes, that's one of the main reasons." And then he said, "It's 'cause of you." So that just made me just like, "Nah." [Speaker] Got it.

And Jalayla used to be daddy's girl, right?

[Speaker] Yeah. [Speaker] We both were.

[Speaker] Yeah, we both were.

[Speaker] He was around when we were younger. My mom would take us back and forth to see him. We would see him all the time, but 2016, Father's Day, we just, that was the last time we seen him.

That was the last time. So before then, the responsibility was on your mother to go back and forth?

Yes.

Okay then.

It was all her. It was never him coming to see us. It was her driving back and forth from Florida to Georgia to bring us see our dad.

Got it. When your dad blames your mom, what does that make you feel? How does that make you feel?

It kind of made me look at my mom like—

A certain way for a long time.

What really happened? Because all we hear is my mom's side. My mom always tell us, "Your dad this and this, this what happened, this is why this is happening," and all that stuff. And we'll kind of look at her like, "What's my dad's side of the story?" 'Cause we, but now we're hearing it now, but I don't really, it don't add up to what my mom is saying. So it's like—

How has your mother had to step in and be a single parent? Like what has the strain been on her?

I can give my mom her flowers, literally. She works so hard. 'Cause she works so hard. She is a great mother to me, my sister, and my two younger siblings. Like she's an awesome mom. So it's like, Yeah, she's a single parent and everything, but it's like we've been feeling like, really, do we need our dad? That's how we would feel because like you're not there. So it's like we're doing good. And he said, y'all good without me.

Well, Jonnae and Jalayla, are you ready to finally see your father for the first time in 8 years? Yeah. Yeah? Okay. Well everyone, first I want you to take a look at the last time you saw your father. This is a picture of y'all 8 years ago. Y'all were babies. Y'all were adorable. Well, I think it's now time for y'all to see your father in real life again. So everyone, please welcome Hayward to the show. How you doing, sir?

How you doing, my man?

Thank you for being here. Here you go, love. How does it feel to see your daughters again for the first time after 8 years?

Feels wonderful. It's absolutely incredible. It's not all Jennifer's fault. I've been in and outta trouble all my life and stuff like that prior to meeting her.

Jennifer's your mother?

Yeah.

Okay.

But it has been things that she's done. I mean, it's clear that they did a lot of moving around or whatever like that, but in the beginning stages of their lives, Once we were not an item, whenever we had a disagreement, she would pack them up and take 'em and stuff like that. And in the beginning stages, it was the phone calls, which would be kind of monitored by her and stuff like that.

So you're saying the reason that you couldn't have that communication is because she monitored the calls and that when y'all would get into an argument, she would take them?

I wouldn't say, That, I would just say that that caused me not to wanna call or reach out that way because they're being, she's narrating the conversation.

Yeah.

You know, somebody just ask a simple thing like, you know, where y'all at right now? What are y'all doing? You know what I'm saying? I hear somebody tell 'em what to say. So.

So you don't feel like it's fair that they're blaming you for not seeing them?

I'm not saying that. They have the right to feel how they feel, but the things that I've suffered through is the reason why I went to doing the things that I did that caused them emotional distress or whatever like that.

But why weren't you able to see them more recently? Because I understand in the past when they were younger, I could understand like you're trying to navigate how to deal with their mother. You've had this, your own trauma. I can respect the things you went through. I can fully understand that you had your own set of feelings and things. But now these are women who are in high school. They're graduating from high school. They have their own phones, their own social media. You can contact them anytime and not have to deal with their mother at all. Right.

Of course.

So why weren't you able to see them more recently?

Due to, okay, the first time that it was a gap, like right now it's been Janae that hasn't talked to me, you know what I'm saying? At first it was Jaleya. You know, I kind of like, you know, let her down by getting back in trouble. I am so unstable, you know what I'm saying? Being like, I just, I've been home 3 months now. I'm still picking it back up.

We don't need material things from you. We just want you to talk to us.

Hi Jennifer. Thank you for being here.

Thank you.

So what troubles you most about this situation?

That my daughters don't have their father like they want him.

Mm-hmm. Is Hayward telling the truth about everything?

No.

What is he not telling the truth about?

Me keeping them away from him. Never done that.

Mm-hmm.

I was in this situation with my dad and I told him years and years, let's not get the girls in a situation I'm in with my dad. And the excuse was, well, I wanna have money to be able to do A, B, C, D, E, F, G. And like I told him, it's not about the money. All they want is time. I know because I dealt with it. So I was trying to stop him from being where we're at today, for them to have a relationship. And I've been doing this for years. Let's not worry about the material things. They want time, they want conversation. But that was not enough. It's 7 o'clock at night. My two children and the other two children were at the park, which is down the street. Across the street from where they were living. I got there, it was a motherly instinct for me to go to the park and they're out there running. I went to the house first, there's no car, I knock, nobody answers. So I go and I sit at the park for at least 20 minutes. Nobody shows up. We in the hood, okay? I wanna say the baby girl was at least maybe 4 or 5. No shoes on, nose running.

It was a park full of kids.

It was a park full of kids. So again, I'm in mommy mode again.

And she finna go to jail for kidnapping.

I take them to my house. I tried to leave 'em, but the oldest girl said, "Miss Jennifer, please don't leave us here." And as a mother, safety comes first. And yes, the police was called on me.

So I called her and said, "Do you have the kids?" "No, I don't." I surely did. So police was called and it's a whole search on one side of the town for these kids. Whole time you done came and rounding them up and somebody else's kids are on the block.

But can't you understand a bit to why if she's actually knocked on the door and your daughter's confirming that you weren't home, So I'm not sure where you were, and this is in the past, but I want you to get through the process.

I went to go pick, I went to go pick from work.

Okay, so you went to go pick them up from work.

While they were in the park with other kids.

But can you see how unsafe that could be? Because while you're—

I can see how unsafe that can be.

And can you understand, since you see how unsafe it is, you can understand why her, she can come there and she could say, hold on. Because what I appreciate about this story and what I think hopefully you appreciate about this story, I understand that you were shocked in the moment, maybe felt embarrassed, but she could have left your other children there.

Anybody could have came and picked us up.

And what she did is she made sure that not only the children you have with her were safe, but your other children were safe.

I take care of my kids very well, as everybody knows.

It wasn't neglect.

It wasn't neglect. It wasn't neglect.

See, what I'm trying to do—

She broke her arm crawling out of her crib. She broke her leg outside playing. So where is the neglect? They're present. We not gonna talk about my other children 'cause they're not here. We're talking about Jelena and Johnnae.

Not shit else over there.

You know what? But what I want to know, this is about your kids getting hurt.

This is the problem. You always wanna talk about everything else. Talk about your girls that want your attention. They want you, they need you. Not my other kids, not me, them. They're important right now, nobody else. Nobody else.

But they've been important to me. They've been important to me. But if it ain't your way, it's the highway and you gone.

They're so important.

You packing up kids and leaving.

When I picked up my phone and called you and said, hey, your daughter's graduating. Your daughter's graduating, your daughter's playing basketball, your daughter doing this, and I opened my door for you to come and live with me to be a part of their life. You should have been there. Point blank, period. Because I've always opened my doors for you. I've always been there for you though. So don't sit up here and go to putting everything on me because it's not about me. Take accountability and responsibility for what you've done.

I ain't putting everything on you, but you ain't accepted nothing. You ain't did nothing but be the world's greatest mother. Mom, but you monitoring calls and you letting kids read our argument over and over again. They got a lot of your feelings and emotions towards me.

No, they have their own feelings and emotions.

No, they got your feelings and emotions.

They ain't heard what you've done.

Hold on, there's two things. And then you put it in their mind about a child not being mine.

We never had no maternity tests for these two either.

Hey, you can get one. Just like you. You can get one. She look just like you. She look just like your mama. Let's be real.

You look just like him too.

No, no, no, not at all.

Okay, so Hayward, they suffering from what, how you feel about everything.

Guess what?

I am at peace with myself and I love myself and I'm okay.

Hayward, what I just saw there, because what I asked you before she came out, now that on purpose, I gave you an opportunity. I told you wholeheartedly, I said I want to hear your side and I made sure I did that specifically so that you would not have to feel like you had to debate anything she said. I said, what is your side? It was you did not come here to bash me.

I didn't come here to talk about this. We done talked about, we talk about this all the time.

But hey, word. And then when it get, there we go. But here we go. But on top of that.

So I didn't come here to try to make her look bad or nothing like that.

But on top of that.

So you asking me something.

Yes.

I'm not trying to put her in a situation where she's looking.

But the thing is, is that your focus immediately went from your daughters to her. And then within that, you then start to, you did something that was super hurtful. And I understand it came out in a moment of flippantness, but you started to say something about their DNA and their identity.

Because they want to know if my third daughter is their sister.

Why trigger and hurt them just because there's a question about someone else?

I'm not trying to trigger or hurt them.

I know you're not.

To be honest, I've been telling those folks I didn't wanna talk about it like this, to be honest with you.

Okay. But see, the talking about it is what your daughters are asking you for. Your daughters are asking you to talk.

When we would talk to you, it's always too much. That's why I told you we need to go get help. That's why we're here.

Okay, okay. Well, I don't really appreciate y'all knowing the things that me and her has been into it about. I don't appreciate her letting y'all read our back and forth over and over and over again. And then y'all—

When there's absence and there's no talking, we wanna know what's going on.

Do you understand how you could have countered that? If you're saying they saw messages from their mother and that is what's causing them to have these opinions.

No, they're saying messages from me.

I know, got it. But it's messages y'all talked about. I got it, I got it. But, but— The message between y'all, you're saying, I get it. But do you understand what could have countered those ugly conversations?

No, sir.

This is, that's the block. What could have countered those ugly conversations is you picking up the phone and calling your daughters. It's a simple thing. So Hayward shocked everyone when he questioned if Janai and Ja'layla were his biological daughters. So we offered them a DNA test to try and clear up everything. Please welcome back Hayward and Jennifer. Welcome back to the show, you all. So have you been in touch? Let me first ask quickly, Hayward, been back in touch with Janai and Jalayla since the show?

Absolutely, every day since the show.

Oh, perfect. That's what I need to hear. Great job, brother. I'm so glad. That was the first step. Well, just to let you know, and I said this on the show, I'm a big believer in protecting children. It's one of the things that I'm on this earth to do. And that's the reason I haven't invited your children here, that it's just the two of you, because I believe this is a conversation that grown people need to have, that we should be discussing together. And then if the results show that these are not your daughters, then that's a conversation where you and your ex-girlfriend would figure out how to go and talk to them. But I wanna bring her in now. Jennifer, you know, tell us your thoughts about this DNA situation, You were shocked. I was watching your face too when he said that. You got shocked.

Honey, I was ready to slap the taste buds outta his mouth. My children have never been a question. And just because they're questioning you about something else, you come out and you break their heart and say, "Oh, technically I don't know if you're mine." Mm, mm.

So I gotta ask you clearly, do you have any doubts that Hayward is the father?

Not at all.

Not at all?

Not at all. His mom didn't have a doubt. His grandmother didn't have a doubt. His aunt didn't have a doubt. Nobody had a doubt.

Yeah.

But now there's a doubt.

Well, listen, I think it's time that we get to the DNA truth of the matter and find this out. All right, well, now it's time for Jalayla. Hayward, when it comes to Jalayla, you are the biological father.

Dizzy, bud.

Hayward, what are your feelings?

I mean, I knew that. I knew that.

So you knew it, but you still decided to say it? Is that what you're telling me?

I mean, you know, it might have came out wrong. It might have brushed everybody the wrong way or whatever.

Okay. So we have one more DNA truth to get to, and it's for your daughter, Jonnae. Heywood, any thoughts about this?

Not really, Karamo. You know, it's just— It's just mixed feelings, that's all. And a lot of time apart is, you know.

All right, cool. Well, let's get to it. All right. Heyward, when it comes to Jonnae, you are the biological father.

I gotta go have a meeting with Jesus in a few minutes.

It wasn't really a matter of questioning.

Listen, at the end of the day, you got your answers. And what I'm most happy about is that, yes, it came out. It might've come out as a flippant response. It might've came out, but at least you got the answers. The family has the answers, and now you are totally on a fresh start with your daughters. You know, like, at the end of the day, what they want is just to be closer to you. They just wanna hear from you, and they just wanna know that they're respected, they're valued, and they're loved. And so I appreciate, I appreciate you taking the steps to start communicating more. I'm glad that you're on the right path. And as I've told you before, Jennifer, I'm just thankful for the woman you are and how you have supported your daughters and held them down and held down your family unit. And even also that you were able to even come here and like communicate and put your children's first and like still have some sort of very healthy co-parenting, amicable relationship with Hayward. So I just appreciate it. You know, I appreciate what you're doing. I'm gonna keep up with y'all. Y'all don't know this, but last time they were on the show, I went to the green room 'cause I like them so much. They remind me of my people. So I was like, I had to go talk to them and take a couple photos. And so I'm gonna keep up with y'all 'cause y'all cool. I like y'all. So we're gonna stay in touch, all right?

All righty.

All right, take care now. And everyone at home, thank you for being with us. Make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and growing. I love you all.