Did A Genealogy Test Reveal My Biological Father? | KARAMO

On Father's Day, I got a message from a young lady named Shantice that I've never heard of before. Didn't know who she was. She was looking for her father. She sent me two pictures. One was an old picture, and I looked at it, and she said, "Do you know this lady?" I said, "No." She said, "Well, let me send you another picture." a more modern picture. When she sent me that picture, I looked at it, I said, "Oh yes, I know exactly who that is." I said, "I dated her back in the day." And she was like, "Well, that's my mom." I was like, "Wow." And she said, "Yep, you my daddy." I was like, "Nah, I don't know about that." I wasn't with her mother that long, but she was the love of my life, and if I could have had it my way, I would have married her. She moved and we lost contact with one another. Years later, here's Shantisha. I'm just hoping she left a part of her here with me and my daughter. I have another child that I don't get to talk to, and this makes me feel good and makes me feel like I got a second chance. I'm just hoping that everything turn out to be positive, that she is my child.

Listen, well, today we will solve this 29-year-old DNA mystery. Let's first meet Shontese and hear her side of the story. Welcome to the show. Hi, Karamo. So I saw you got emotional when your father said he hopes your mother has left a piece of her here. What made you emotional in that moment?

'Cause that just means he like really loved her, you know? Yeah. Like it's been a, like this has been a long journey for me. I've always felt like I've been looking for my dad. Yeah. And to know that there's a man out there who wanted to be a father, who I found, just, it brings me so much joy. I don't think anybody really understands that. And for him to want to be my dad too is like, I couldn't be happier. Like who doesn't want somebody to want to be a part of their life? And their family and just everything that's going on with them, so.

Did you grow up with a father in your life?

I did grow up with a man that I knew as my father for the last 29 years that I thought was my father. But then I discovered on complete accident that he was not my dad.

Oh wow.

Yes.

Was he active in your life?

No.

He wasn't active. And how did you find out that he wasn't your father?

So lock in this rollercoaster real quick.

I'm with you.

I actually was gifted a genealogy test from someone I used to date and it was just for kicks and giggles. Just like, hey, let's see what your genetic makeup is. Super cool, that was 7 years ago. And 5 months ago, after a lot of people on my mother's side did the genealogy test, the website showed me like, oh, these are all your mother's side. And then it's like, this is your paternal side. I didn't know a soul. I didn't recognize a single name. Single person anything. So I didn't panic immediately. I reached out to his family and was like, hey, would you guys be willing to be a point of reference and do a test? And they all agreed. So some time went on and I actually forgot about it. And then I reached out to the family and I was like, hey, did you guys get your results back? And they're like, yeah, we see each other, but we don't see you. That's not what I wanted to hear, obviously. And I obviously, in that moment, I really didn't even know what to do with that. Because I'm thinking like, this can't be right. Like, this has to be a mistake, this has to be wrong. But then I go back and think like, this genealogy, you know, company will be under fire if they gave out wrong tests. So I'm like, okay.

And on your mother's side, you knew those people when they came up.

Absolutely.

So the fact that you didn't know this side, but then you were like, well, let me go a little bit deeper and it still came back that you didn't show up. That's when it set in.

Yes. And I was devastated. Honestly, like—

You called your family members and what did they say?

I called one family member because I just felt like this person knew. They were the closest to my mom when she was living. And I called her and we had a brief, maybe 3-minute conversation. And my question to her simply was, do you know anything about this man not being my father? And her immediate response was, he's not. He's not your father. Your mom told me this years ago when you were a little girl. A little girl and you know, that whole thing. And I was just like, so nobody was gonna tell me this?

Like— Yeah, so I gotta go back. You lost your mother at a young age?

Correct, I was 10 years old.

10 years old. And who raised you after?

So I was raised by the man who I assumed to be my father.

Okay, got it. And, but he wasn't active?

No, we just didn't have the greatest relationship. There always felt, there was always this like, this abrasion between the two of us. Yeah. Like growing up. So it just never felt natural. Like having him around.

And how'd you find Marvin?

On complete accident. So as I'm just going down this rabbit hole, I'm talking to someone and she gives me information on my biological grandfather who had passed away. So she gave me his obituary. And so I reached out to my friend who's a PI and asked him like, hey, do me a favor and just find anybody you can that's associated with my biological grandfather. He got back to me with his now widowed wife who's still alive. She's 81 years old and she lives in Alabama. And I called her. She was like, "There's another guy named Marvin. He's alleged to be your grandfather's son." And I was like, "Oh." So he had doubts with his paternity as well? Yep. So we're rolling into another craziness. So he had doubts about his paternity and she's like, "But it's not for sure, it's not for certain, but he is potentially his father. So that's probably your uncle." So that's when I sent him that message. He hit me back in like an hour. And he was like, "I do recognize those names. How do you know those names?" Like—

[Speaker:KARAMO] Yeah.

[Speaker] And so I'm telling him like, "Hey, so that might be my grandfather." And he's like, "That might be my dad." He said, "I grew up with a man thinking he was my father and then I was sat down by my mom and another man was told that this man was my father." And he's like, "And that's all I had to go off of." And I was like, "Wow, that's crazy." And as we're talking, two things happened. He is scrolling through my Facebook page and he's like, "You look so familiar, you know, blah, blah, blah." He stops on this picture. I sent him this picture and he's like, "There's a woman here. She looks so familiar." Yep, that's the picture. So as we're talking, I realized he said a name that another person on my genealogy list had said. And I was like, "Do any of these names ring a bell?" And I started reading them off and he's like, "Yeah, yeah, those are on my mom's side and I'm related to this person and this person and this person." And I was like, "Okay, Marvin, I know I called thinking you were my uncle, big dog." But you might be. But you might be my daddy, like, you know? That was when I was like, okay, maybe I'm not at a dead end. And I call my sister and I'm like, hey, like there's this guy and I don't know, like, she's like, what does he look like? I told her a name, she goes to Facebook, looks it in and she's like, girl, that's Mr. Marvin. He used to babysit us as kids. Yada, yada, yada, yada, this and this, fricking frat nicknames. And I'm like, hang up, call him back. Marvin, my sister said they know you. And he's like, "Who the hell are your sisters?" I was like, "Okay, you used to babysit them for my mom. They're twins and you used to call them freaking frat and blah, blah, blah." And he's like, "Those are Joe's kids." I know, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I say, "Listen to me, I'm Joe's kid. Josette's my mom." And he was like, "You're Josette's daughter?" And I said, "Yeah." Before I even said it, he goes, "You're born in '95?" Yeah, how do you know that? And he got quiet and he was like, girl, I might be your daddy.

Oh.

I said, well, happy Father's Day then.

Okay. That's amazing. Have you met him?

Yes, he insisted. Immediately after we had that phone call, he was like, I gotta meet you.

Yeah.

I have to.

Which is a beautiful thing. Like you said, to know that you're looking and to know that somebody is saying, I want to, and not, Because I've had many moments on this show where someone is denying it, saying, "I don't wanna be a part, I don't want." And I was scared of that, honestly.

But I will say through this entire journey, if nothing else, everyone has been so helpful. And I really wanna emphasize how important that is in the Black community because there's just so many secrets that are held from us and so many things that are kept from us. But we live in a time where we can just learn everything now in a matter of a month or a couple days or just, Yes. A swab on the cheek, like that's all it really takes to get the answers that you're looking for. And I feel like everybody deserves like deep down inside to know like where they come from and where they belong.

Reach, yes.

So I just think it's really important. Like if my journey does nothing else for anybody, like I hope it motivates you to find yourself and find where you belong.

Amen. Amen. That is a great message and I hope everyone can receive that. So I gotta ask you right now, do you want him to be your father?

Absolutely.

You do?

I do. I want him to be my dad so freaking bad. Like honestly, I already love him. Like I realize like I met him and felt complete. Like I met him and was like, damn, I've been looking for you my whole life. Like I was home when I met him, you know? Like it just felt like this is my dad. Like, you know, like your twin flame, like it's real. Like, this is really my twin flame.

But I have to ask, what will you do if he's not your father?

Oh Lord, y'all might see me roll on this floor. I ain't gonna hold you.

Yeah, okay. Well, don't worry. If that happens, I'll be here to help you as well.

I hope so, please.

Yeah, I got you, I got you. Catch me, please. I will. Well, listen, I think I'm ready to meet Marvin and hear his side of the story. So everyone, please welcome Marvin to the show. Marvin, you are sharp. I got to stand up for you, Marvin. I like a man that comes sharp, man. I like a man that comes sharp.

I'm in love with your courage, your mannerism, and everything. I love you.

Thank you, man. I appreciate that, brother. I really do.

Can I sit next to you right here? Because you crying, and I am too.

So how do you feel when Shawntese when she first called you?

Just confused first of all, 'cause I didn't know about her. I didn't know anything about nothing. But I just, I don't know. I was happy. I was, it was strange because it was on Father's Day.

On accident, y'all. I called him on accident thinking he was my uncle.

She really did. She really did. But through all of that, we started talking.

Yes, sir.

Found out a lot of things about one another and we just went from there.

What was your relationship like with her mother?

It was a fun, beautiful relationship. I loved her, but she was running. She kept me at bay.

Got it.

'Cause I don't know if she was ready for a relationship or what was going on. I didn't know at that time, but I found out later through Shantise what was really happening, and we just moved forward from there, so.

Did you know anything about Shantise? I know you babysit her big sisters. Do you know anything about her?

I know she's a beautiful person. She's a beautiful woman. She's got a good heart, a good driving spirit. She's a hard worker and she don't take no mess. I think she, if I am her father, that came from me.

Yeah. So. Do you want to be her father?

Without a doubt. She is, she's special, man. She is special. It's 29 years of not knowing. I can't catch up, but we can make up.

Yeah, and I have to ask the same question. If she's not your daughter?

She's still gonna be my daughter.

Got it.

She might be, she may not be my biological daughter, but she is my daughter. In my heart.

Well, I think it's time to solve this 29-year-old DNA mystery. We don't need to wait a minute longer. In this envelope is the DNA truth you have been waiting 29 years for. The answer's in this. This is your truth to open, not mine.

Ooh. I'm scared, y'all. I ain't gonna hold you.

Come on, you can do it.

I just hope my mom, like, wherever she is, no matter what the answer is, like, I just really hope that this can be the end of this journey that I'm on and I can finally have the family and the love that my mom didn't get and wanted for me.

Okay.

Oh Jesus, yes. Thank you, God.

Oh my God.

Thank you, Jesus. So what does it say? You gotta tell us out loud.

So Marvin is my dad.

Marvin is my dad. Yes, yes, yes.

Oh goodness. Oh, sorry.

Thank you.

I'm not gonna ask you how you feel 'cause I know you're both happy. We're happy as well. There's something special about this moment because hearing that you had questions about who your father was.

Right.

This is also healing for you as well.

It is.

Because there's now a family that you're gonna get to build in that deception or that lack of answers. Now you have your truth, you have your truth, and now y'all have found each other.

Also, when I found him, I was able to introduce him to his two half-sisters.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

I knew about them.

But you didn't know.

At my father's funeral, we were introduced.

Look at that, look at that.

So our family's grown twice.

Yeah, wow. Listen, I'm so happy for you two. I'm so happy that you found clarity. You are a remarkable woman. Thank you. You are a remarkable woman.

Thank you.

And I'm so thankful for your words on this stage because what I know about the people who watch my show and how my clips of this show get shared, you are going to inspire people.

I hope so.

You are.

If nothing else, thanks, Karamo.

You don't even have to hope. You are going to inspire people. And I'm so thankful for your spirit and your words and who you are. And I can see that spirit in you. You are right. That comes right from you. This is right aligned. Y'all fought hard for this journey and it has brought you to this beautiful moment. I'm so happy for y'all as father and daughter. Congratulations, y'all.

Yeah. Let me give you a hug.