Karamo Brown shares three ways to talk better: tackle one issue at a time, actually listen instead of planning your response, and agree on a safe word to pause when things get heated. These skills take practice but matter for any relationship.
My son is on B cam, husband's on A cam. Family that quarantines together gets stuff done together. Ah! Don't eat that. Is that good? Hello everyone, welcome to Fab Friday. Let's do this. Hey friends, I'm Karamo Brown, the culture host on Netflix's Queer Eye. So on this episode of Fab Friday, I'm gonna be giving you 3 tips so that you can have better interpersonal relationships and a better relationship with yourself. Number 1, only bring up one issue and one issue alone when having a conversation with someone else. If you're needing more support with your kids, but you're also needing more free time 'cause you're also with the kids, those sound like the same issues, but they're not. As a father, I get it. Having kids, you need a lot of support, but also, I need daddy time, and that's okay as well, but you can't talk about those two things at the same time. So talk about getting support. Talk about what that looks like. Then after that's settled, talk about how you can get out the house to go get you some free time, get you something to drink, hang with your friends. Those are two separate things. Don't convolute a conversation. Tip number 2. You have to be more of an active listener, which means be quiet and let the other person talk. It's all of our natural response to want to interject and say, "No, no, no, that wasn't right," or, "Yes, that was okay, but no, uh-uh." You can't do that. You have to allow the other person to be able to share what they're feeling, share their thoughts without being interrupted. It's hard. When I'm talking to my fiancé, he says some things sometimes and I'm like, "No, no, no, that's not right," in my head. Allow them to say what they're feeling, experiencing, and what they're going through. And then after they're done and you've given them their respect to talk, allow them to do the same for you. When it's your turn to talk, they are quiet. Tip number 3. Create a boundary word or safe word, because sometimes when you're in conversations, you start feeling emotions that you didn't feel before. It could be anger, it could be sadness, and what happens is that you don't want to have the conversation anymore, but the other person still wants to engage. So by saying the boundary word or the safe word, you're able to slow down, say, "Let's pause," walk away, and go process your feelings. Listen, I know this is hard, because when someone wants to walk away, you're like, "No, no, no, I want to get my point across." The truth of the matter is, is that you'll never get your point across to someone who is already emotionally or mentally shut down. Does not serve the conversation, and it does not serve emotional or mental growth. Allow the person to walk away. It's going to help you be so much better in your relationships and within yourself. Listen, friends, this is not an easy journey to have great interpersonal relationships. If it was, we would all be perfect friends and in perfect relationships. But it takes work because it's challenging. But with these tips, you'll get there. So remember, only say one issue at a time. Number 2, actively listen. And number 3, have a boundary word. It's gonna take some work, but trust me, you can do it. Much love.
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