My Daughter Has Been On A Downward Spiral Ever Since She Went To Jail! | KARAMO.

Kevon, Kevon, why? I'm done, 'cause she a fucking liar, bro. I'm done with this shit. Deadass, I'm deadass, she a fucking liar, bro. Like, bro, I'm ready to go.

I'm ready to go.

I'm ready to go.

So what happened that sent your daughter to jail?

She had got to fighting with some girls and I had just bought her a car for graduation and they bust the window out her car. So they were going back and forth on social media and they were like, yeah, we bust your window. So she was like, where you guys at? I'm finna come shoot all of y'all. Long story short, she went and found the girls and they got to fighting and one of the girls got shot 4 times.

But not by your daughter?

No.

No. 'Cause she's about to go off to college, 3 scholarships. How did you feel when she went away?

I was hurt.

I was embarrassed. And so I was mad at everybody. I was just blaming everybody. I was shutting people off. You know, I ended a relationship and I just started praying. Just, it was hurtful. It was real hurtful. She don't even realize that. And like, you know, people was like, you need to just stop 'cause she's acting like she's away at college. You know, you going to visit her every weekend. She was 4 hours away. I was there every single Saturday. I never missed a Saturday. Making sure she had money on her books. But that's my daughter, so I just still be trying to just protect her and try to shield her.

Of course, that's what you gonna do. Any parent gonna do.

Yeah, but she don't see it. You know, she feel like I'm trying to be in her business. You know, and all this, but it's not that, 'cause she has a child and—

So she feel like you're trying to be in her business?

Mm-hmm. But I do try to be in your business 'cause you're my responsibility.

Yeah.

Something happened to you, I'm be stuck with your child.

Yeah.

You know, that's the thing, so—

How was she as a teenager though?

Kevairi was good. She was homeschooled. She got accepted into a performing arts program. And it's like once she got exposed to public school and the kids, she, I don't know, it's just her, she just took her down just a spiral. She gets to fighting 2 weeks after school started. She gets to fighting. It wasn't her fight, it was her friend's fight. And I'm not saying she's innocent 'cause she's not.

Of course.

But every fight you get in is somebody else's fight. It doesn't have anything to do with you. Even like the shooting, the girl that got shot, she didn't even know my daughter.

Really?

You know, so even to this day—

'Cause she survived?

She survived, yeah.

And then she said, I didn't even know your daughter.

Yeah, she didn't know her. She didn't even know her.

How long has she been outta jail now?

2015.

Okay, so what do you two argue about? I mean, I'm hearing this stuff, but what is your main arguments about?

The fighting is the biggest 'cause I fear, you know, Kavar either be in prison or dead, you know what I'm saying?

Got it.

And her decisions that she make in her relationships, friends, men, just everything. I want her to just get a job and just be responsible. She has a baby, you know? I have him all the time and it's not that she thinks I'm trying to take him away from her. It's not. I just don't want him exposed to what you're doing, you know?

Okay, that makes sense.

Y'all can clap for that.

Yeah, you know?

Yeah, and my thing is, you know, I love my grandson and Kavari wasn't brought up like that. You wasn't raised like that. And I would feel better, and I'm saying this right, if that's what she was exposed to, then I couldn't be mad. But she wasn't. So I don't want my grandson to have to go through that. He thinks the world of her, she thinks the world of him, but right now she's just not making the right choices as a parent.

You said to me that she's fighting a lot.

Mm-hmm. Maybe a month ago, if that, she just got to fighting in the club and it wasn't her fight.

She need her to stop fighting.

Yes, yes.

Listen everyone, you know me, I'm balanced. I wanna hear what Kavari has to say about all this. So if we can please welcome Kavari to the show.

Like, like, really? Like, Ma, I don't understand, Ma.

I don't understand.

Hey, Kavari. I feel like, I just feel like, I just feel like she's trying to make me feel like, seem like the bad person. Like, that's not—

No, I'm not trying to make you feel like the bad person.

That's not even how everything went down though. That's not even how it went down though.

Okay, so how did it go down then?

Like nothing, everything that you said was just, That was cap as hell, Mom. That was cap as hell.

Well, that's another thing. She is so disrespectful.

I'm disrespectful? But she don't even listen to nothing that I say though. When I do try to be respectful and talk to her about stuff, we get into an argument.

But look how you talk though. Look how you talk.

You gotta show me respect to give respect.

But look how you talk though. Do I cuss at you and talk crazy?

Yes, you do. Kavari, no, I do not. Don't sit in front of these people and act like you don't do that.

No, I do not.

This is what you do. I'm not your friend. This is what you do, Mom. I'm not your friend. See what you thought though. When you dead and gone, I'm still gonna be your mom. All right, that's cool.

You get mad about stuff I tell you 'cause it's the truth.

What? What's the truth? Everything I tell you, what you doing is the truth. What did you mean, what's the truth? You feel like I'm a bad mom? Like I just make dumb decisions as a mom? What are you talking about, Mom? What are you talking about? Like what? Like what? Talking about a fight? You just got to fight in the moment. Y'all showed me how to fight. You're a fighter too, though. You know how many fights you done got in? But you know how many fights you done got in? That's how I was raised, though. You sit here and say that's not how I was raised, but that was how I was raised. That was how I was raised. To fight to defend yourself fast.

But it wasn't your fight though. The fight you just got into last week, well, month or whatever, it wasn't your fight.

Okay, Mom.

Kavari, you said your mother is capping on something. What is she messing with you about?

She's trying to just make it seem like I just be into stuff. I don't even do nothing for real. I've been in the house since I've had my baby. The night that they bust my window, they followed me home and I didn't know that they followed me home. I went in the house and laid down and went to sleep. So the way my car is parked, my mama parks in the driveway. So I have to move out the way for her to come out the door.

I was in the garage.

So she was in the garage. So she's backing out, so I have to get my car back out. So I see, the glass on the seat and I'm like, dang. I'm like, man, they done bust my damn window. I said that. So my— and you— we had an argument before you went to work. You like, you getting into all that shit. I'm not paying for your fucking window, all that. I'm just like, that's what you said. You knew that they busted my window.

Why didn't you give me the insurance information then?

You never gave me no insurance information.

Yes, I did.

So why wasn't my window fixed? Why wasn't my window fixed?

Because you decided to go and fight 'cause they posted it on social media where they was at. You decided to go fight.

You told me to. Kavarie, why is you— I'm done 'cause she a fucking liar, bro. I'm done with this shit. Deadass, I'm deadass. She a fucking liar, bro. Like, bro, I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go.

I'm ready to go.

I'm ready to go. She's a fucking liar. I'm ready to go. Like, she's— why are you lying? Like, why the fuck are you lying? You are lying. That shit is lame as fuck. My mom is a liar. She is a liar, bro. Like, deadass, she's a liar. That is lame. That is lame. But then when I'm mad, I'm disrespectful. You're a fucking liar. I'm 28 years old. I'm a grown-ass woman, bro. Like, what are you talking about right now? Like, that shit pissed me off so bad, bro. I'm sorry.

I know.

I'm sorry.

Listen, you're allowed to have your real emotions on this show, so you can feel what you wanna feel. But there's a lot of discrepancies in both of y'all, what y'all saying in this story.

Yeah.

So you feel from your perspective that this is what you were taught to do as a child?

Yeah, this is what they instilled in me. Everybody in my family fighters, everybody fighters. Her mama a fighter. So now you getting in front of these folks, you acting like it's such a big problem. Nah, all right, whatever, Ma.

So your mother's not on probation, you're on probation.

Right.

So don't you see that the stakes are different for you?

Yeah, but at the same time, Karamo, I don't be doing nothing though. And that's what makes me mad 'cause I don't be doing nothing. I sit in my house, I mind my business, I do what I, you know what I'm saying? I stay out her way. I don't even go to her house like that. You feel what I'm saying? I stay away so we can keep a good relationship. Because if we are around each other for a long time, we are gonna get into it.

Got it. So how long ago was this last fight she's talking about? Was this—

This was, she was a month ago. She not lying about that.

It was a month ago. So within the time, 'cause how old is your child?

He's 3. He'd be 3 next month.

3. So within, since your child's been around, I get it, you've been home, but you're saying, so in that 3 years you've only gotten into 1 fight?

Yeah.

One fight in 3 years?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, since I had him, yeah, yeah, one fight, yeah.

Okay, and so what happened with CPS?

She called me and said, somebody called CPS on you. And I asked her, was she the one that did it? And she got mad at me because who else was gonna call on me?

I heard when you were young and you went to jail, she was there every day for you.

She was. I'm not saying she wasn't though, she was.

And does she help take care of your child now?

Yeah, of course.

So if she helps take care of your child, why would you think CPS would be involved?

But I don't think, because it's like she say, certain stuff sometimes that'll rub me the wrong way. Like, we was outta town one time, we was on a family trip, she tried to laugh it off. She told me, you might as well just give us custody of him. But I know my mom, she was dead serious.

I was.

And I never gave you no reason to even feel like that. Like, and every time, and then when me and her get into it, that's why I'm calling Child Protective Services on you. Every time something happens with me or I get into something, they threaten me with Child Protective Services.

So you do believe she called?

To a certain extent, yeah. Or somebody, yeah, I do, I do.

So there's a part of you that has doubt?

There's a part of me that has doubt, but a part, 'cause I don't want to believe that.

Yeah, you don't.

But I've always felt like, To a certain extent, yes, she probably tried to do that to scare me, try to scare me straight or whatever, you know what I'm saying? But other than that, I just don't understand why she would, like, I don't know, 'cause I'm not a bad mom. Like, this is what I'm saying.

Would you mind stepping out there so we can all talk?

Yeah.

Thank you. And then, 'cause I wanna hear more about this.

Okay.

I appreciate you opening up.

Uh-huh.

So you could hear backstage. So she feels as if maybe there was a point where you called CPS. Was there something else involved?

Yeah, the first incident when CPS was contacted, Kirari was pregnant or she had just had the baby. She had marijuana or something in her system and she told me about that. So because of that, they said that they were gonna be coming and checking for 5 days. Did you know about that? Yeah, 'cause she told me.

They only came one time and then they left.

Got it.

He said to her when she was staying with us and she was getting ready to leave, she was mad at us and she got ready to leave and my husband said, think about what you're doing. It's not just you, you got your baby to think about.

I got in the car, he talking about, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna call child protective services on you.

No, no.

And then she said this. No, don't do that, don't do that.

'Cause he, first of all, I would never take my grandson from her 'cause I know how he loves Kevon and Kevon loves him. I'm not gonna even put my grandson in the system like that. I would never do that. Your lifestyle and the stuff you do, you need to worry about that.

Can you trust your mother right now? I see there's layers of the anger that you have.

She know I ain't lying.

Can you believe your mother right now when she says she does?

I've always thought that. But if I did, why would I be ashamed to tell you that?

She just said here, I would not wanna put my grandbaby in a system.

And I'm not going to. I would never do that.

You can't trust that?

No.

Why can't you trust that?

No. Why can't you? 'Cause I really feel like they want to take my son from me. I really feel like that. But Karamo, do you think it's a fight though? I genuinely feel like that.

Do you really think it's a fight if I wanted to try to take your baby from you?

What you mean, do you think it's a fight? You're not taking nothing from me.

If I wanted to really try to take him from you, do you think that would be hard?

You can't even try 'cause that's not gonna happen.

'Cause that's not in me. I wouldn't do that to you though.

Do you appreciate the help from your mom?

I definitely, 100%. 100%.

No, she don't.

I do.

Can you believe her when she says that she does appreciate you?

I believe that she does, but sometimes I don't.

Okay.

I really don't. I think she takes it for granted.

She don't appreciate me when I speak my mind. If I was a yes man to her, she would feel like I appreciate everything that she said.

But look how she talked though. Look how she talked.

Because I'm so mad right now. I'm mad. I've been mad for years, okay? I've been mad as hell for a long time. And nobody listens to me, bro. Nobody listens to me. Mad for what? Nobody. What you mean mad for what? What do you mean mad for what, Mom? Like, what are you really saying?

Like, what are you really saying?

Like, you've been acting different though.

Like, what are you talking about?

You're always mad. You do not listen to me. I done been raped and all type of shit. Do you know that? No, you don't.

See?

You don't.

I didn't know that.

You don't know. Exactly. Because it's you. I can't talk to you, Mom. Why? I can't. This is the only time I can talk to you.

Look how you probably know.

Right now. Come on.

I gotta back up. I gotta back up.

You need to stop.

Because I see the breakdown in this communication here. One note that I wrote down, and I wanna show you this, this is literally earlier before your daughter came out here. I said, doesn't seem like she likes to communicate with her mom. And then I did not know any of this and it just said out of her mouth, I don't feel like she listens to me. And when she said that and when she described a moment where her body was violated, you passed right over that. She's just screaming out. That's all she's doing.

I know that.

I would like you just to be an empathetic listener.

Okay.

Don't say anything. And Kavari, I want you to be able to say anything that you want to say and not be interrupted. Tell your mom what you want from her.

I just, I mean, I just want my friend back. Like, you never listen to nothing I say. Like, I've been through so much that I have never told you about. Like, because I know you're very judgmental, Mom. Like, you're judgmental as hell and I don't like that. It's like, and who else did I trust besides you, Mom? I love you, Mom. Like, you know I love you, Mom. And I appreciate everything you do for me. But like, damn, bro, I am tired of being so mad at you. I'm mad all the time, Mom. I'm mad every day. I'm tired. I am, Mom. Like, just listen to me. Like, that's it, Mom. Like, that's it. I just wanna be a mom to my son and be your daughter. That's it, Mom. I'm not doing nothing else. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm not trying to put you through nothing else. Like, I just wanna be what you think that I am, 'cause I'm that, Mom. I'm not that person no more. I'm not. Like, I'm not. I just wanna be a good mom to my child and show you that I can be. Like, that's all I wanna do. Just listen to me. That's it, man. That's it.

First of all, thank you for for coming. your vulnerability and being able to say that. And also, great job. You just sat there and listened. You did a good job. Because sometimes that's all our kids need is just to be able just to sit there and not say something. And even though we see the antics and the emotion, this is what she needs. And you did a great job. And I'm not questioning you as a mother. When you said you showed up every Saturday, but there's also something you said earlier on that I also wrote down is you said, when this happened, I was embarrassed. and I shut people out because I was embarrassed. And as much as we want to pretend, those feelings stick with us. And so when she's acting out, those feelings are triggered whether you know it or not.

Right.

And she's saying, I need to get this out so I can heal.

Yeah.

So you gotta work on not feeling embarrassed by your daughter.

Right.

Can you say, I'm not embarrassed by you anymore?

I'm not embarrassed by you anymore.

What's going on in your mind?

What are you thinking?

I don't want her to feel like that. I want her to be able to talk to me and tell— I want her to be able to— I don't want her to think that I'm not there to protect her, 'cause I know that I'm all that she has. And I don't want you to think that I would take your baby. I would never do that to hurt you, 'cause I know that's somebody that loves you regardless of what he sees, no flaws in your life. I would never do that to you. I don't want you to think that I would do that. I would never do that to you. I miss you too as a daughter, but I want— I just don't like the people that you be around. I don't like the choices that you make, and I don't want you to expose your baby to that. I don't want him to have to go through that.

She's trying to grow, and it's hard. I'm sure there's a lot that plays into like, I'm trying to grow, I'm trying to be better, I'm trying. Like you just said, in 3 years since you had the baby, you've only been in one fight.

Yeah.

That's growth.

Yeah.

I see that growth. I see your growth. Do you see her growth? But at the same rate, as much as I can acknowledge that, can you acknowledge that there is some, a little bit more growth you gotta do?

Yeah, like I'm not like doubting that. Like I know I need to grow a lot more. Like it is still a lot that I need to grow.

Can you tell your mom that?

Yeah, like, Mom, I know that, you know? Like I know I need to grow more, but it's just like, don't keep throwing the old stuff I did in my face. Like, because that's just pulling me back even further, you know? Like, and I'm really trying, Mom, you know I am.

Let me do that. At the end of the day, y'all both want to be there for each other. You've been there. She's saying she loves you, she needs you, but there's anger. There's anger and there's embarrassment. And those 2 things have to be healed. And as soon as those things can be healed, y'all are gonna be on a path to get back to that friendship. You gotta believe her for who she is now, but you also gotta commit to showing her day by day that you're not gonna do stuff. I believe you're a good mom, but those little things, like it's better that you check in with your mom instead of having to check in with a parole officer.

Exactly, yeah.

So can you commit to your mom right now that you will stop fighting? Yeah, I can do that.

Tell her.

Yeah, I will stop fighting, Mom. I'm not gonna be fighting or nothing again.

And can you commit to your daughter to say, I will not be embarrassed by your emotions?

Yes, I can commit to not being embarrassed by your emotions.

It's gonna take some time.

Right.

This is a step.

Right.

And through this step, y'all gonna keep running together. Y'all give each other a hug.

I love you.

I love you.