In this episode of Karamo Reacts, host Karamo mediates a heated confrontation between Sheree, a grandmother, and her 17‑year‑old granddaughter Zaniyah. The discussion reveals a long‑standing intergenerational conflict that escalated to physical violence when Sheree slapped and beat Zaniyah after a car‑ride argument about dating and disrespect. Sheree’s language repeatedly refers to Zaniyah as “her mother,” indicating unresolved grief over the death of Sheree’s own daughter in a 2012 car accident. Karamo repeatedly reflects on his own background in social services, labeling the incident as a red‑flag for abuse, while also urging calm, non‑violent communication. The conversation moves toward an apology from Sheree, a discussion of what constitutes disrespect, and advice on setting boundaries, using language, and taking responsibility for one’s actions. Throughout, Karamo highlights how language can expose hidden emotional wounds, stresses the need for mutual respect, and offers guidance on healthier relational dynamics.
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You're still grieving because I heard the language. You kept referring to your daughter as her mother.
Yeah.
It's so funny, I haven't seen this episode in forever and everything I'm about to say to this woman is popping in my head. That's embarrassing. I mean, I guess it's good because it means I have the same feelings and thoughts. When did things start to change? When did you and your granddaughter start to butt heads? Could you imagine having to call the police on your granddaughter? When she was in 10th grade. Period, anybody in your family?
When she was in the 10th grade, she started dating. She gonna tell me she's dating. I'm like, what are you talking about? Well, I'm dating. That's the day she start becoming grown, thinking she can say what she wanna say to me, do what she wanna do, and—
I don't know why I'm triggered. Anytime somebody, an older Black person say, oh, you think you grown, I get triggered. Because that's all I heard my entire time. Oh, you think you're grown.
That's totally disrespectful.
The reason I'm triggered is because I feel like there should be more like mutual respect. I do believe that you respect your elders, but I also believe that there's respect that has to come. And so when a child's acting grown, it's because they're saying, I want to grow and I want to try new things. And that's what it is to be a child, to be curious. And so when parents are like, oh, you think you're grown? It's like, yeah, that's what I'm here to do is to grow. I don't, I'm not recommending disrespect, but you know. So what happened in October when the police was called?
I went to pick her up from school and we had this conversation. It was me and her brother in the car. And Zaniyah said something to the fact about her boyfriend.
That's a pretty name, Zaniyah.
We wasn't even supposed to be on that conversation. She was going off and I slapped the shit outta her. I slapped the fuck out of her, beat her up.
She very confident with that. I slapped her, I beat her up, okay. Her running her mouth. My old former life that worked in social services would have been like, red flag, neglect, abuse. But on this show, I just have to calmly listen and hear what she got to say. Why did you tell Zanairah? And you wonder why your child acting disrespectful and acting grown. And after you say I had to pop her in the mouth. I understand the disrespect, but that's violent.
She got a mouth that you kill her. Her mouth is ridiculous. And I don't have to stand for that.
Why did you tell Zaniya you would shoot her in the foot and keep her in the house? 'Cause that's, I can be real and I understand the disrespect, but that's violent language.
She'll take you there. She would take you there. I'm up here. With Zaniya. And I did say I shoot her ass in the toe. I will, I'm tired. I ain't gonna kill her, I love her, I ain't gonna hurt her, but she need to listen.
So I gotta tell you, I grew up with that dysfunction. My daddy used to say to me, I'm not even joking with y'all, I swear to God, he used to tell me all the time, like if I— Family thing, because I swear to God, I had a family, I'm not gonna say, I almost said who it was. You used to say to me, if you get outta line, I'm gonna shoot you in the foot so that every— Why was I almost about to tell the same story right now and I forgot this episode? So my daddy used to tell me that. I didn't say on the show who it was, but my daddy used to tell me, he used to tell me, if you mess around and do something wrong, I'm gonna shoot you in the foot so that every time you take a step, you're gonna remember not to disrespect me. And I was like, so you wanna shoot me? Like what kind of like, it's so wild. Like the things, I would never say that to my child now. Would never, never. So you talked to me about her mother who died in a car accident in 2012. I wanna know what was your relationship like with her?
It wasn't good.
Yeah.
I mean, I couldn't do nothing for her 'cause she was running the street. I had to take care of her damn children.
Is that why you're so protective of Zaniyah?
I'm protective of each and every last one of them.
Yeah.
Because I'm gonna tell you, her mother, I was trying to be protective over her, but she was being hard-headed and went out there and passed away because I told her not to do something. Not to go somewhere, even my husband.
Yeah.
So.
You know, I gotta tell you, I know that there's been some time since 2012, but I know you're still grieving because I heard the language. You kept referring to your daughter as her mother.
Yeah.
Which there's a mental— It's so funny, I haven't seen this episode in forever and everything I'm about to say to this woman is popping in my head. That's a mess. I mean, I guess it's good because it means I have the same feelings and thoughts.
I haven't had time to take care of myself and I'm tired.
I haven't had time to take care of myself. I'm tired now. Ooh. Ooh. Here goes.
Can you see?
Yeah. I'll be better. Listen, I'm talking to Sheree, who is afraid of losing her granddaughter. Somebody take a photo of this suit because this suit is cute. I need to wear this again. Everyone, please welcome young Zeniah to the show. Zeniah's pretty. Hey, Zeniah, can I have a hug? Mm-hmm. Thank you. How are you doing today?
I'm good.
Good, good, good. You smell lovely.
Thank you.
So I gotta ask you a question and I want you to be honest 'cause I can already tell you're a smart girl.
Mm-hmm.
Do you think you're disrespectful to your grandmother?
I don't think I'm disrespectful to her. I mean, I asked her like what's her definition of disrespectful or how I'm being disrespectful to her, but she can't tell me why.
So I'm gonna ask you from your own 'cause again, I want to go from you. What do you think What do you think the definition of disrespect is?
You know, calling you out your name type and just like extreme ruthless behavior.
Calling out your name and extreme rudeness.
I know what she's talking about 'cause I calls her a bitch.
Listen, so if you have anybody in your life who speaks to you violently and says they'll do things to you violently, even if they think they're saying it out of love, it is never out of love. And so I would just encourage you if you have someone in your life who speaks to you like that is not to react, it's to walk away from them and to make sure they're clear It's clear that speaking to me violently is not going to ever encourage me to want to speak to you lovingly. And I think using violent and love in the language of how you speak to them gives them a clearer picture. And be as calm as possible, because if you're aggressive, then it like, look, see, this is why I got to do this. This is why I got to— so you can be as calm as possible, which I know can be hard when someone's basically threatening your life. And if you're the person who does that type of violent language, understand that if you really want to help this person, if you really want to be with this person, it's never going to encourage healthy growth between you two or healthy communication.
Why should I have to listen to you? You have to listen to me. I know you have feelings, but I'm the adult. And I'm not gonna tell you nothing wrong, honey.
You expect me to sit there, listen to you talk, and that's it? That's done?
No, I'll give you your chance to talk.
And when I talk, you overtalk me and change it to how you feel.
Okay.
Do you feel like that ever happens?
No.
Okay.
No.
Yeah.
I give her a chance to talk, she don't never give me a damn chance to talk. That's why I slapped the shit outta her when we was in the damn car.
Okay.
'Cause she kept running her mouth.
In the car, I told you, you kept referring to me as my mom and my dad. I told you, stop doing that 'cause I'm not them. I wasn't here when they was around. I'm not them.
No, you ain't that.
You can't refer to me as them.
And I tell you all the, all the time, be better than your mama and daddy, don't be like them. So that's a lie.
So your grandmother is overprotective from her own words.
She knows that.
How does that affect you?
Okay, so I'm 17.
She's 17, you talking to that baby like that, stop it.
And it's like even with a tracker on, without a tracker on, she want me to tell her step by step what I'm doing.
It's only for your safety.
No, no, I'm not in trouble.
You got it wrong.
So you can hear that the grandmother is calling her own child her granddaughter's mother and not saying my daughter. That's the grief manifesting in a way that she has not processed. It's clear. Like, when you can hear people and the things they say, you understand that language really expresses and shows where someone is emotionally or mentally around something that happened to them. And then now that she hasn't processed fully her own grief, now she's supposed to raise this granddaughter that she's trying to be protective, but she's also confused. She's also still hurting and grieving. There's a lot that's going on here. I think the biggest takeaway is just watch the language because you can tell a lot about what people are feeling or where they're at mentally with the things they say. When you say, "Oh, your child." When people say that, "Oh, that's your child," there's a disconnect in that. And even if they're trying to be playful, And so that means something is going on. So just watch the language. Are you a good student?
Yes, I have made principal list.
I reason to ask that is because I asked my producers to ask you for your report card. You are getting a 3.1. That's great. Your grades are phenomenal. Then I had a 3.1. You better work, girl. She's smart. Would you be able to at least apologize for this language that you're using to her and understand that a young girl just like you who lost your daughter. She lost her mother. And hearing the one woman figure I have in my life tell me, "I'm done. I don't want no more girls." These things that I understand the context, but it could be hurting her and could cause more damage in the long run. Could you at least apologize to her for that?
I will apologize and I have apologized to Zaniya. Zaniya boyfriend mother.
Yes.
Now I got a damn problem with that.
Okay, okay.
Because you being my granddaughter accepted this woman as your mama, grandmama, whatever the fuck. I had a problem with that.
Got it.
So if she through with me, I'm through with her.
Got it.
I have apologized to her about that plenty of times.
Yes, I got it.
I don't have to deal with that.
Here, thank you for sharing that.
And I raised her.
That makes more sense. This makes more sense. Thank you for sharing that because was the role.
I raised her.
There was the issues with your own daughter and her not being able to listen to you. There's a rejection that you experience.
Yeah, right. She rejects me all the time.
And so it's being mimicked, but vice versa.
All the time.
You're feeling that same rejection.
What you said there.
I don't talk to his mama like that. She seem like I'm just turning her away and going to her. I talk to her more than anything.
One of the big lessons that you're gonna learn as a young woman is the same way that I'm here to validate your feelings, her feelings are valid too. But I think there's a big thing here that we have to remember, two big things. First of all, for you, you said that apology, would you be able to do it again for me right here so that way I can—
Of course.
Can you tell your mom?
Of course. I love you. I love you and I really apologize. I apologize and love you. And we need to work on us.
Yes.
Just me and you.
As much as I do believe the adults in our lives have to take responsibility for the language they use, the things that they say, and the fact that sometimes they don't wanna acknowledge our own growth and don't remember what it was like for them as kids, I also do believe that it's important that young people understand they have responsibility in relationships as well. Just because you weren't asked to be brought in this world doesn't mean that you don't have responsibility of how you act in this world. This young person needs to understand, you understand what you're doing as well. Because I was young, I knew that if I snuck out here, if I said this back, it was gonna get a reaction. And yes, I wanted a reaction because I wanted to get validation. I wanted to be seen. I want to see him grown. I want to see him rebellious, whatever it is. But at the end of the day, everyone in a relationship has to show up and make sure they are accountable for how they show up in this relationship. They're going to be all right, though. Mm-hmm.
