In the inaugural episode of the 1‑844‑4‑KARAMO call‑in series, host Karamo speaks with Sarah, a career‑driven Haitian‑American woman living in Brooklyn. Sarah expresses a deep love for her close‑knit family but feels trapped by cultural expectations and a fear of losing connection if she moves elsewhere for better career opportunities. Karamo explores the cultural nuances of Haitian family devotion, probes Sarah’s specific fears about reduced contact, aging, and codependency, and challenges the notion that her concerns are merely cultural. He advises her to rewire her mindset from fear‑based to love‑based decisions, to communicate her needs clearly to her family, and to recognize that age does not preclude change. Karamo shares personal anecdotes—his own age, his sister’s move to Dubai, and the metaphor of “the Haitian Dorothy”—to illustrate that moving away can coexist with maintaining familial ties. The conversation concludes with encouragement for Sarah to take actionable steps toward relocation while staying connected, and an invitation for future calls.
Chapters
Sarah, you're on air with Karamo. What's your tea? Hey friends, and welcome to the very first episode of a new series, 1-844-4-KARAMO, where I'll be taking calls from viewers just like you. All right, my first call today is Sarah. She is calling in because Sarah is a career-driven, family-oriented woman with parents from Haiti.
Haiti.
She loves her family but struggles sometimes with creating boundaries. I know what that's like to have immigrant parents. Hey, Sarah.
Sankpa, Sarah. Napule, nula, nula. I'm very close with my family from Brooklyn, New York. But at the same time, I'm kind of over Brooklyn. I've been wanting to move for a very long time. It's not the same city it once was. I feel like career-wise, I'm not getting the opportunities that I could probably get elsewhere. By staying here. I'm just ready for a change, but I still am as dependent on my family as they are on me, I would say. What advice would you give to overcome that fear of being on your own?
I understand culturally that there's a difference when it comes to the devotion of family when it comes in, in a Haitian background. And so you having to be at home and be with your aunts and be with family and be with your mother is something that's important for them and also for you. So I want to know, how often do you see them?
We live on the same avenue, but just in different parts. So my mom, I would see her anytime she cooks food. She's like, I just made some griot. I'm going to come drop it off. And I'm not going to say no.
Don't play with me, girl. I will come over there for some griot right now.
And black rice.
Now. So, okay, they all live close. And have you ever talked to them ever about moving?
I have. Like, my mom has been open to it. My sister just— you know, purchased a home in Brooklyn. So obviously she doesn't want to move.
Got it. Got it. Got it. And where do you want to go if you did move?
I was thinking about New Jersey or the DMV area.
If you're in Brooklyn, not too far.
Yeah. Maybe that speaks to my, my own codependency though. And I feel like maybe there's a fear within me that is hard for me to overcome and I don't know how to surpass that fear.
Yeah. So I wouldn't call this codependency just because culturally I understand the differences. I do believe there's a fear there, but my question that will help me to understand the fear is, What expectations do you have for your life?
No Haitian men. Okay. Um, let's start there. But—
Girl, I ain't even mad at you. I am not even mad at you.
I do want to get married. I do want to have kids.
By moving out away from your family, what are you afraid will happen?
I don't know, that I probably wouldn't see them as much anymore. Maybe they wouldn't make the effort to come see me. I would have to make more frequent trips to where I would probably second-guess why did I even move to to begin with. So I think that's what I'm afraid of, like regressing.
I know, you know, your family loves you, but do you feel like they show up for you often?
Some of them do.
What I tried to establish by asking you, do they show up for you now? And you saying, yeah, they show up for me, means that when you move, they'll still show up for you. They'll still be around you. You won't be the only one making the effort. And I think the more that you can understand that, that's a first step in helping you to get over that fear. Second thing, it's about talking to them about what you actually need. You just said to yourself, you want the man, you want the kids, you want the house, but right now you don't feel like you can get that by trying to establish a relationship with someone in Brooklyn. Have you ever talked to them about the fact that you feel like you want this husband, you want these things, but you don't feel like you can get it there?
Yeah, I definitely have. I've spoken to my dad about it too, about like wanting to move and like my fears, some of my fears with even moving. 'Cause you know, Brooklyn is a very diverse place.
I think it's just more so now about you rewiring the strings in your own brain to tell you and to remind you that this is time for you to do what you gotta do for you. Are you ready to take a step for yourself?
I think one of my biggest fears is that I'll be too old to do anything.
Yeah, good.
And I'm already at that age where it's hard for me to get outta bed without cracking a few bones.
Ooh, honey, I'm older than you. I just hit 43. And lemme tell you something, I feel it. I don't let now one of them cracking bones stop me from getting up and doing what I wanna do. If you just saw me twerking in here just a minute ago, you'd have been like, what?
But I do that—
I would have been like, God.
Hey, yes.
But I do that because what I try to remind myself with even a little dance in the morning time is to remind myself that actually we are still young in the grand scheme of things. 30, 40, 50, boo, you are young. I have a sister, just to let you know, that just moved to Dubai away from all of the family because it's always been in the back of her mind a dream. And every part of her was telling herself, well, I'm not too sure, I'm too old, I'm about to be 50, should I be doing this stuff? And I was the one that said, girl, go for it. You want this, you're still young, you got it. It took me several years to convince her. She's been there now for 3 years. She's happier than she's ever been. So what I would encourage you is like remind yourself of that every day. I am still young, there's a life out there, and no matter what happens, I know I always got home. I know I always got Brooklyn. Click your heels, girl. Anytime you move away, girl, you can just come back home. You Dorothy, girl. You the Haitian Dorothy, girl.
Yes, Dorothy.
You the Haitian Dorothy. Okay, Agent Dorothy.
Dorothy.
I want you to remember this. I'm going to stop making fear-based decisions and start making love-based decisions for my future. I want you to remind yourself of that every morning because every decision you're making right now in your mind is based out of fear. And so if you start making those love-based decisions out of the love for yourself, the love of your future, the love of your family, the love of you getting the life you want, Trust me, things will change.
You're right. I'm gonna stop.
When you make that move, girl, let me know so I can come over.
Yes.
And I'm gonna come have some grill with you.
Yes. And some— I got the picklies too, so.
Yes, some picklies too! I'm ready. Listen, good luck, girl. I'm so glad you called me.
Thank you. Thank you so much for the advice and for you taking the time.
Of course, always. Have a good one, love. Don't forget to keep coming back for more 1-844-KARAMO.
