He Cheated Our Entire Marriage, But I’m the Villain? | KARAMO

We have been together, we're high school sweethearts. I got pregnant at 16, we had our first child. And he has been, sorry, I'm very emotional.

No worries.

Since we've been together, he's been unfaithful and I've forgiven him several times. This past year has been the roughest part of our marriage because back in November, he had this person who he claims is his cousin and basically she started asking him to go on dates with him.

I've never seen her at home. And this supposed to be a cousin?

So-called. Cousin, okay.

So-called.

We've been together all this time. I've never knew anything about her. Basically—

I mean, hold on, how does a cousin, 'cause y'all been together since 15 years old, how does a cousin pop up out the blue that you don't know about?

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. And that's what I wanna ask.

Because if I'm dating you since 15, I know all your cousins. I know your cousin, your granny, your auntie, I know everybody.

Mm-hmm.

So what happened in May?

She had a birthday trip and so it was going to Las Vegas. I, again, was not invited. And so, but he told me other guys were going and he was going to help his cousin celebrate her birthday. Basically, I told him, I said, "If you go on this trip," I said, "you're gonna regret it." And so he was like, "I'm a grown man, I'm gonna do what I wanna do." And so I was like, "Okay, bet." So I have been faithful to him this whole entire relationship. May came around, he goes on the trip. And so I was like, okay, well he's outside, I'm finna be outside.

Okay.

And so—

Why y'all applauding that? Y'all so toxic.

I love it sometimes. Y'all don't even know if that's really his cousin. She might have just started cheating for no reason. Hold on, so what happened?

There's this guy who's been liking me. Never gave him the time of the day. But that Friday when I went out with my friend, to a bar. This guy, he was like, "You want a shot?" I'm like, "I want a shot." And so I told him that he looked really good. The next day we met up again. And so I ended up cheating with this guy. Mind you, he said that other guys were going. Well, this ended up being an all-girls Vegas trip. So it was him and 5 other girls. They were posting pictures on social media and stuff. And so mind you, him and this so-called cousin, they were looking real coupled up.

So what happened since he found out that you had your rendezvous?

He's been emotional, he's talking about I pierced him in the chest, that he don't know how he can go on, he's so heartbroken, he can't believe I did this to him. Mind you, I can't believe how you've been doing this to me for the last 14 years almost. And so, I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't feel sorry, I'm happy that I actually stood up for myself.

Got your lip back, yeah. Is he a good father?

He is, which we have a daughter, and so sometimes I feel like he, He plays favoritism with her. He treats her a lot better than the boys to me. He's a lot tougher on the boys and I constantly tell him, "Stop showing differences in between them." You wanna save this marriage? Mm, I did, but once he didn't unlock his phone, I'm like, "What are you still hiding?" What are you still hiding?

Okay then.

So if he's hiding something and he didn't come clean with me, 'cause I told him, "If you got something I don't want it to come out on TV. Tell me now before we get on stage." I got it.

Okay, well your husband Randy, for everyone to know, her husband Randy is actually hesitant about coming out here. My producers are telling me right now.

He needs to come out here. If he want his marriage, he need to come out here.

All right, well listen, I'm gonna go back there and talk to him, try to get him out here. So I'll be right back. What's up, brother? How you doing?

Hi. Hey.

How you doing?

Hey, how you doing?

Karamo, good to meet you, man.

Nice to meet you too, bro.

Take a seat for me.

All right.

Hey, so my producers told me that you were hesitant about coming out. What's going on?

Yeah, it's just like, Everything's one-sided. Yeah. And I don't feel like, now granted, I haven't been perfect. Yeah. But with that being said, I haven't done nothing to try to replace my wife, but I haven't been perfect. And I feel like she think whatever she done done is okay because it was outta revenge. Okay. When the whole time, If I did something, it was 'cause I didn't get what I wanted or in that nature. I never felt, I never have done something to her because she wasn't enough.

Got it.

I've never made her feel like she's not enough.

Okay.

He's a liar.

She's always made me feel like that. And I'm tired of trying to—

You've always felt like you're not enough?

Yeah, it's like it's never enough for her. It's never enough. If I've done something, which she knows I have, I've been man enough to, tell her about it versus me find out about what she done. 'Cause no matter what she done told you, everything that I know.

'Cause she told us she cheated once.

Yeah, everything I know, I found out about that. You didn't come and tell me that, okay? Got it, got it. I found out about that.

Got it.

So, you know.

So is there something going on right now why you don't wanna unlock your phone?

The reason why I didn't unlock my phone was because there's things I've done that I'm not proud of, but also my wife haven't gave me the comfort to come to her when I've made mistakes and make me feel like that she won't leave me.

Okay.

Okay, so I stepped outta my marriage 7 years into it.

What you mean 7 years into it?

Talked to a young lady and I don't know what I was doing, you know?

Is this somebody she knows?

Yes, it's somebody she know.

Who is it?

I don't wanna, I'll tell her.

You'll tell her?

I'll tell her.

Okay. So it's part of this is why you feel uncomfortable is because you've done something with somebody she knows and you're scared that she's not going to hear your side of it.

She's not, she never has. And it was a mistake.

It was a mistake. How many times that mistake happened? Once. Just once. When was the last time you two talked?

Earlier this week.

This week? Yes. Okay. So the communication's still recent?

Yes.

Do you have plans with her?

No.

No plans. What about for tomorrow?

I mean, she did plan for us to meet tomorrow, but there's been a lot of times she's planned to do things and I've never—

Bring your ass out here, Randy.

Unless I wanted to act on it.

Bring your ass out here.

I know if I was to tell her, I tell my wife this, she won't forgive me.

I think you do have an opportunity to share with her, see what she says.

I'll give it a try.

Well, let's go give it a shot. Let's see what her point of view is gonna be on all this. Thank you for opening up and sharing with me.

Freddie, what the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about?

Hey. The cat's out the bag, you know.

What you mean the cat's out the bag?

A lot of things I've done I'm not proud of. Sit down, sweetie. I don't wanna get up here.

I don't want nobody touching me. Don't touch me.

It is what it is. I want everybody to see what I'm going through.

So that gives you a reason to go cheat on me? You just now coming clean about this?

Hey, a lot of things.

Who are you talking about?

I'll tell you. I'll tell you later. I'm not telling you now. Just know it's a friend.

So that's why you been on me about what I've been doing, huh?

Well, hey, all I can tell you is—

That's why you been on me. And every single girl that you talk to, I don't have access to talk to them. This guy, you talk to him several times. You follow him around town all the time.

You think I follow him around?

You steady him.

Okay, first off, let's clear this up. I'm not proud of what I've done, true enough, but let me tell you something. A lot of this cheating that you saying that I done done, It's been telling a woman she look pretty or she look beautiful. That's 90% of the cheating she talking about.

So y'all think that's cheating to this woman? So you're saying that all the cheating has been, 90% from your point of view, has been just compliments?

Yes, it's been compliments.

But when you not even telling your wife that she look beautiful and you telling these other bitches they look beautiful.

Listen, I can't answer that. But one thing I can tell you is, let me just—

So let me ask you this. So how many times have you actually stepped out physically or emotionally?

Once.

Just once? Once. In the 14 years?

Yes.

Okay, is that true to your experience?

That's a lie.

So the woman from 2 years ago got in contact with you this past week and wanted to meet up tomorrow. Tell me about that.

It's just, we just bumped into each other.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I'm actually looking at your body language. I'm looking at how you're talking about it. There's more guilt that you have around the situation. I'mma be honest with you.

So one of the things you should know about me is that I'm impartial.

I can hear it. I'm hearing all sides because at the end of the day, my goal is not to take 5 seconds of what somebody says, but is able to take the full situation and try to help you to really come to a conclusion if you wanna save this marriage. So if there's guilt that you're having, this is the best opportunity you're gonna have to express to her and be honest with her. But you have to be honest. So what was going on with this person that you're planning on meeting up tomorrow?

I understand this.

I hope y'all do. I hope so.

I did not, I'm not intending to meet up. There's been numerous of times I could meet up with this individual person.

Okay, but you're not gonna meet up with her. Okay then. So what's the intensity of the relationship?

Nothing more than a friendship, but even though it's a friendship to where, granted, the woman wants me, but I don't want her.

Okay.

She knows that.

Why are you communicating with her?

Have you had sex with this woman?

Yes.

You have had sex with this woman?

Oh really?

Okay then. So this would be the second woman that you've had sex with during the marriage?

No, this ain't no second woman. This the same woman.

So this is the same woman?

Yes.

That happened 2 years ago. So this is the only woman in the 14 years that you've stepped out with?

Yes.

Okay, that's fine.

So why am I just now finding out about this?

You just now finding out about it because obviously I didn't unlock my phone.

So you know your wife did unlock her phone?

Okay, yeah, so she did.

So are you worried about anything we're gonna find on her phone?

No, I shouldn't be.

I'm not worried about it. So you're not worried about it though?

No, she say she told me the truth.

Okay then, I think it's time to see what's in your phone. All right, here we go. Randy, you wanna know if Carrie has been DMing the man she cheated with. Carrie says she is not. My Lock the Phone investigator searched her DMs and found that Carrie is telling the truth. Randy, you wanna know if Carrie has been calling the man she cheated with. Carrie says she is not. My Lock the Phone investigator searched her calls and found that Carrie is not telling the truth. Carrie has one call with the man she cheated on with on August 31st. Okay, Randy, you wanna know if Carrie has any texts about the man she cheated with. Carrie says she does not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her texts and found that Carrie is telling the truth.

And that call, he got off the mountain top.

What's also very interesting is that we actually, up until like 6 years ago, we checked through the phone. She's actually never cheated on you or done anything at all. She's actually been— And he knows that. Most of the complaints that we found in her phone have been about her complaining to you, please stop treating me this way. We did see a lot of those messages directly to you.

Did you see my response?

Yeah.

The call, checking on it, he knows about.

Some of your responses were a little manipulative, a little dismissive, a lot gaslighting.

That's what he always do.

So why do you feel if you actually love your wife that you feel like it's okay to talk to these other women?

I don't feel like it's okay.

So then why do it?

And why you been crying for days about what I did when you the one cheating?

I'm not cheating.

Randy, nobody knows if you're telling the truth. You didn't unlock your phone. Don't nobody know.

Don't nobody really know what she talking about. A phone does not prove nothing.

So one of the things I'll let you know that is a great example for you to understand is that when you make empty threats to him about like leaving, of saying that this is what I'm gonna do, what empty threats do in a relationship are invitation for cheating. Disrespect. I'm not blaming you. Believe me, I'm not blaming you. I hear the language, I see what's going on, I understand. I do believe that since you got into this relationship very young, that you, this was way too overwhelming for you. I think that you have been overwhelmed for years and that this is probably not the relationship that you would've wanted to stay in. But after years of being in it with 4 children now, you feel like, okay, I gotta be in this. But I don't think you're happy. I don't think you've been happy for a very long time. And I think that you are trying to figure out who you could be happy with while also holding onto this sort of codependency that you established when you were 14, 15 years old.

So are you happy?

You're not.

I'm happy with my wife.

There's no possible way you could be happy with your wife if you just told me that you're still engaged to the other woman.

One thing I'm not gonna do is my wife tell me what I'm not gonna do and she can do what she wanna do. Whether anybody believe me or not, she was invited to everything except one comedy show. Did the cousin not invite you to go to Vegas?

This was after the fact and she said that I, She said that she would put me on another plane.

So what's the truth in all this about the cousin and giving these details and not doing anything for this?

I'm just saying, everybody make it seem like she, all the stuff I've seen.

Nobody's making anybody seem, what I'm doing is giving you straight facts on what you have said and what she has said.

Nobody making nothing seem.

Maybe you right. What we know to be true is that you have been engaging with a woman that you finally admitted you slept with, that you possibly were gonna be meeting with tomorrow. You are not happy in this relationship. I have counseled happy marriages. You are not happy. You are scared to say what you want and what you desire. And instead of being honest about that.

That is a lie. That's a lie. I ain't afraid to say what I'm, I'm not afraid to say anything. I'm telling you what it is. I'm telling you at the end of the day, I'm still a man. Everything that my wife had done to me is fresh.

What does that mean?

You understand me?

What does I'm still a man mean?

I'm not gonna sit here and accept some wrongdoing that she done done just 'cause of what I done done, okay?

Do you hear the confusion in what you say? Do you hear? And so hold on, two things. The confusion in what you said, talking about, oh my gosh.

No, it is what it is, but hey.

The second part of that statement, what we gonna focus on is that you just said, I'm not happy.

No, I said I'm not happy with what she's doing.

Carrie, he has told you everything you need to know by not unlocking his phone. So the choice is gonna be yours is that if you're gonna continue another 14 years. What you're latching onto is a codependency that is keeping you two unhealthy and it's going to affect it's gonna affect your family. You've already shared at the beginning of this stage that you feel like he treats your daughter better than he treats his sons, which if you're feeling that way, I'm sure the kids are gonna feel that way. But they will end up telling you— They have told you. They have told me. Even worse. So what I'm saying to you is that before this gets worse in life, I'm telling you that you should probably separate, co-parent. While you're separated, you go figure out what you wanna do out there. Go enjoy that life.

I'm enjoying the life that I want.

That's the problem. You are enjoying the life that you want. But you got a wife and kids.

I know this.

And that's the problem.

I know this.

Hey, this is what I'm gonna say. You don't know. No matter what, we talking about this stuff. How, what we gonna do from here is that what's gonna happen is that Carrie, at this point, Carrie, Carrie, at this point—

I don't think you gonna always be able to say that. At this point, hey, hey, hey, what I'm saying— Do not make a decision.

At this point, understand what I'm saying to you. Sweetheart. Empty threats are an invitation for disrespect. Carrie. You let him keep doing this and he is going to disrespect you.

Do not make a decision based off—

Empty threats and invitations for disrespect.

Make a decision based off the truth.

That is your mantra. He's gonna keep deflecting, he gonna keep keeping you in circles. Listen, I'm gonna tell y'all something right now. My producers are telling me that we got a hidden camera of him. I just have not used it yet of what you've been confessing backstage about this whole thing. You've been backstage confessing to my producer about all this stuff. What I've been trying to do this entire time because, and the reason that I have not showed this, see, this is what people don't know about this show. I get so much stuff that could be more salacious. I don't do it because I'm trying to save your family. I don't want your kids. I don't want your kids to see.

I'm not saying you want my kids.

I don't want your kids to see how your ass was confessing backstage.

Confession about what?

The woman that you with. I can tell who the woman is right now. What I'm telling you is listen, this ain't changing over here and he doesn't wanna admit up to it. He's gonna keep deflecting, keeping you in a circle. It's a choice you have to make. A choice you have to make. Okay? I wish you the best of luck and I actually wish you the best of luck.

Yes, sir.

I really do because I wish y'all the best of luck, not even just for y'all, but for these children. Which is what it's all about for me, okay?

Yes, sir.

So please take my advice, separate, co-parent, and find some respect for each other because who y'all met at 14 is not who y'all are anymore and y'all need to learn about who y'all are now. All right, stay with us, friends. We'll be right back for more.