Help! My Daughters Hate Me! | KARAMO

My guest Renee says she has always been in turmoil with her daughters, but things took a turn for the worse the day she called the cops on her youngest. She's here to fix her relationship with her daughters, but she says she needs my help. Everyone, please welcome Renee to the show. Why did you call the cops on your daughter?

Elijah.

Mm-hmm.

I was at home in bed with my fiancé and We were laying there and Alayjia came in from work. Now, Alayjia was staying with us. So Alayjia was able to use my car to go back and forth to work because her brakes was out on her car.

Okay.

Wouldn't do anything else. You would ask me before you take my car.

Got it.

So she came in from work that night and she went downstairs. And when she went downstairs, we didn't think none of it. We watching a good movie. And later, about 30, 45 minutes later, I'm like, "Honey, I left the clothes in the washer." He said, "I'll get 'em." And he went down there. He was like, "Elijah's not here and your car gone." So I immediately pick up the phone and I call Elijah and she's not answering. So I hang up again and I call her back. She's now hitting me straight to voicemail. Ignore, ignore.

[Speaker:KARAMO] Which is gonna make you more upset.

[Speaker] When she did that, I immediately, I got out the bed. And now I'm standing there and I'm stretching. He's like, "Well, what are you doing?" I was like, "When she come up in here, she ain't got a clue about what's finna happen." And now I'm texting her, "Bring my car back." And she's like, "What you need your car for, to go to the doctor?" It doesn't matter what I need my car for.

So she's in your car questioning why you wanted to be brought back?

Exactly.

Is that the day she moved out?

She didn't have a choice. I said, "You moving out." She unlocked the door and I was sitting on my recliner and I just sat there and I looked at her and I said, Drop my keys up on there. Get your stuff and get out.

Hold on, but my producer told me that she destroyed something in your house.

Oh baby, I ain't even got to that.

Okay.

I own a t-shirt business, so I got racks and racks of stuff. She's down there, I have an equipment cost over $3,000. She trying to get that off, but she couldn't, but she throwing everything else. She don't care. Brother and me go downstairs. I'm on the phone with 911 dispatcher and I tell them, I said, y'all better get here immediately because this is my house. This is my child, I brought her in this world and I will take her out.

Okay. Did it get physical between you two that day?

So while she's standing there talking, she's like, "Oh, fuck that bitch." And when she did that, she was standing to the side and I just nicely, 'cause she's only a buck 10, I just nicely just pushed her and she went flying. So when she went flying, I just shut the door and locked it. And while I'm shutting it, she's kicking the door. She's steady, she's steady just kicking and kicking. My door is made of steel, you can't get through it.

Yeah.

So she couldn't get through the door, so she kicked my window out.

She kicked your window out, so.

She kicked my window out.

Have you asked her to come back in your house and live with you?

No.

Okay. Does she often act like that?

No, I need to find, that's why I called the show because I need to find out what happened to my baby girl. I don't condone that, I didn't raise her like that.

And I know your two other daughters are here as well. What's the relationship like with them?

I love all my kids. I love 'em dearly. I give my life for them.

Yeah, I understand.

So.

I think it's time that we meet Renee's youngest daughter, Elesia. Please welcome Elesia to the show. Hey, how are you doing?

Good, how are you?

Nice to meet you.

I'm gonna sit over here. Okay.

So what's your version of what happened that night?

My version of what happened is she knows I work late hours of the day 'cause I work a big-ass job. And I get off work at 10 o'clock every day. I got off work, I went to her house. I told her I was about to leave again to go somewhere to my friend's house and I did.

No, you didn't.

Girl, please don't do that.

See, I'm not your girl.

Why wouldn't you just contact her and say, "Hey, I have your car, this is why I'm taking it.

I still need it for work." I was telling her I was leaving. And first off, that car was not only used just for me to go back and forth to work. I was doing all types of stuff. Long as I kept gas in that car, I could drive that car. So I don't, it was.

You know, you would always tell me what you had planned. You never just took off in my car.

I always left in your car without me saying nothing.

Don't write your business.

Anyways, I got up in her face, I started cussing her out. I did cuss her out real bad 'cause I felt disrespected. Don't put my stuff outside this house. I'm not just a random person.

But from what she said, you were downstairs destroying her stuff. Were you downstairs destroying her things?

Yeah, I did.

So I know you had a warrant out.

And then she called the police on me knowing I had a warrant and knowing I could've went to jail. So that pissed me off and that hurt me.

Well, you shouldn't do stupid stuff.

Why would you call the police on me knowing I have warrants?

Why didn't you answer the phone when I called your phone? Why didn't you answer the phone?

'Cause why you keep calling my phone and I'm already texting you? You pissing me off now. There it go right there.

Okay, but my question is, and I'm not taking any sides right now 'cause I'm really trying to figure out where this, the breakdown is. It seems like, from me, and I'm on the outside, it seems condescending in your statements back. You need to go to the hospital again? If you really thought your mother needed to go to the hospital, your urgency would be different. It wouldn't be like—

She fakes so much like she's sick though. No, I don't. You do.

Did you try to apologize when you get home?

No, once I saw all my stuff outside that door, I'm not apologizing.

Okay, well listen everyone, I wanna hear from your middle daughter, Icelyn, to see what she has to say about this. So everyone, please welcome Icelyn to the show. Hi, Icelyn, how are you doing?

Hi, how are you doing?

Hi.

Nice to meet you, take a seat.

Nice to meet you, Karamo.

Please speak for me. All right, so from your point of view, what's your biggest issue with your mother? 'Cause she's saying she wants to rectify that relationship.

Yeah, I really feel like you don't know how to take accountability. You like to deflect from a lot of situations. And if I could be honest with myself, you've always been promiscuous as well and it's really affected our relationship.

You know, I do take accountability.

You don't.

Yeah, I do. I've been taking accountability and like I told, like I've been telling y'all, I said, I do take accountability for any and everything. If you come to me and have a conversation with me, I'll talk to you. But you, Iclyn, personally, you do not come to me and talk to me. You'd rather talk to everybody else but me.

Can I tell you why? I was depressed, I was angry, I was mad, but what I did was I started getting counseling. I went to my prayer room and I gave it to God. And I was taught to build boundaries around me. So if I allow you to come into my life and I know how you are, you trigger me. You will make me go crazy all over again. So I've learned to love you from a distance. It ain't nothing that, I don't know, I just have to love you from that way. I love you, Mama, but you don't take accountability.

I do take accountability, Icelene.

Look, I'm trying to talk to you and you still not letting me talk.

Icelene, you not gonna be a bulldog 'cause that's what you are.

I'm not. Yes, you are.

Can I ask you a question? You asked, you called your mother promiscuous, which is a very strong word. You told my producer that you feel like she's chosen men over you?

Yes.

In what way?

Yes. My mom has had over 40 different boyfriends.

40? 30. 30? You are out your mind. Karamo, let me say this.

I wasn't done talking over here. That is so rude.

Let me say this. I learned a lot of behaviors from my mother. So what I did is I took counseling for myself. Now they keep saying every time I tell them I'm in counseling or I've been getting counseling, they say, well, the counseling ain't doing no good.

I'm not there. I can't see your records to know if you're going to counseling or not. So I can only take her word just like I'm taking your words right now. But I think I need to get back to this because when you say things like my mom's promiscuous, she chooses her boyfriend, when you say a number like 40 boyfriends, it sounds like that was a big point of contention for you.

Yeah, it was.

Did you feel like your mother didn't like you and that she liked men more than she liked you? What's the feeling you had?

I wouldn't necessarily say she didn't like us, but the mother that I've always needed, she was not that mother.

Oh, wow.

It were times where we had no food because she gave 'em to her boyfriends. Are you serious?

You a lie.

I would work 2 and 3 jobs to make sure they had a roof, food in the refrigerator, everything. No, y'all need to stop lying.

So come on, it was seasons.

No, it wasn't no season.

For the most part, Mama, you did not feed us unless you had a boyfriend.

Unless there was a man around, she ain't cooking, she ain't cleaning, she ain't doing nothing. And I peep that too, baking a potato in the microwave because of that.

Sweetie, that's because you chose not to come in the kitchen. Because your sister, Amma, she can cook. Elijah, you don't know, you basically don't know how to cook because I did everything for you. With you being the baby, I did everything for you. With you isolating, there was food and everything, you chose not to. You was always wanting to be with your friends. At an early age, you sat there and said, as soon as I get grown, I'm moving away from this family.

I was unhappy at home, I've always been unhappy at home.

Home was not a safe place for her. Why does she keep over-talking me?

I don't like it.

She had to live with her dad. And you asked me a question. You said, what if— This is why I have to love her from a distance. I don't like being interrupted. I like to think that I don't interrupt you when you talk.

You do.

You're severely aggressive with me and I don't like it.

Listen everyone, there is one more sister, the oldest, that's also involved in this. So everyone, let's meet Amma right now. Hi, I'm, uh, how you doing, Ima?

Hello.

Thank you for being here.

Nice meeting you.

So, please tell me, what was your relationship like when you were younger? What happened when you were 16?

When I was 16, I got pregnant. And I ended up having a placenta rupture, which I lost my baby. It was very hard, it was stressful.

Your mom called you names during that time?

Yeah, she called me a hoe. She was mean. Mama, don't act like you didn't. No. During the pregnancy, Mama, you were mean. I stayed in my room the whole pregnancy.

You did not stay in your room. Yes, I did.

I had forced you.

Why do you always talk over me but nobody else?

Excuse me.

Like I was telling—

Can I address that? 'Cause I did notice you do only talk over her. That is the truth. I do notice that. She's the only one. Even when your youngest daughter was calling you saying even she, this one came out the most respectful and not saying you didn't come out disrespectful, but you came out—

Rowdy. Wild.

And you didn't interrupt her once, but you do interrupt the middle one.

I never noticed that.

You do it all the time?

Well, I apologize, Icelyn, that I keep interrupting you and over talking you.

Okay.

If I could also add in, the reason I'm like this as well is you used to whoop us a lot too.

Really? It made you who you are, baby. I hate when she say that, that's a trigger for me.

That's a trigger for me.

It made you who you are?

Because it did not, it did not.

My ass whooping made you blessed, didn't it?

You believe that, and that's not the true reality.

No, it was true, that is true.

That's not.

Because you ain't in jail, you ain't prostituting, you ain't doing none of that.

The whoopings didn't help do that.

Yes, it did.

It did not.

Yes, it did.

Listen. She, if today, the way she whooped us was today, we would be taken from her. And I get that's how you were raised, but that is not normal. We would do totally different ways. I'm so much more passive with my kids, which is not the best, but because she used excessive force and that's not okay. And when she say stuff like whoopings in the showers, whoopings without clothes, that is excessive.

No, it's not.

Whoopings doing stuff, that is excessive.

You just said that you You didn't have that?

When it came down to discipline, I didn't get whoopings like they did at all.

She was a baby. She was in a house with me by herself. I had special treatment.

I definitely had special treatment.

And by the end, I would say I matured more 'cause I had her at 18, 19, my son at 20, and Elijah, I believe I was like 27.

You said something earlier when you said, "I don't even think my mom likes me." I don't.

And I think it's just 'cause—

You think your mom likes you?

She might, I don't know.

So you're not sure?

I don't care though.

I'm gonna say this.

Do you think your mom likes you?

Yeah, I think she like me, sometimes.

You paused.

These young women are right. There has to be more accountability.

How much more? When y'all say accountability, I keep apologizing and apologizing.

That's not what it is. They don't need the apologies anymore. They're saying they need you to hear them. But it's like, You overtalk her. She's telling you what she went through and whatever, and you're defending it. She's saying, "Mom, I'm 17. I went downstairs and I did these things." And you're like, "Well, yeah, you know this what—" I just broke it down for you. I want you to take that timeline. I know you lived it, but I'm an outsider. Your daughter at 16 lost her child. Yes, you're mad because as parents, we don't know what to do if some child has a child at 16. You start to question yourself. But she was a baby that lost her baby. And then all of a sudden had to become an adult. And I'm not saying you was a bad mom, but you also admitted by the time you got to your youngest, you knew better. So you could acknowledge that you didn't know better for them. So all they're saying to you is just acknowledge you didn't know better. Acknowledge that you really might have hurt us a lot and acknowledge that the pain is still here today instead of defending and saying, well, I tried, I did, I'm still. Am I hitting it on the nail? Am I? You are. They need you just to acknowledge without defending. Hear them without explaining. Be with them and just support them and not have to show them like I'm better. Just be there. There is love that is here, but there's years of dysfunction. And I hope that you have learned a little something because I know if I say give an apology to them, it's just for TV and that's not the point. No. The point is for you to gain a tool and I wanted you to hear what I said. If you can acknowledge them and just stop yourself in saying, "Oh no, that's not what it is. No, that's not what I did." I promise your relationship gets stronger. I promise you your relationship will get stronger. Your girls, your girls need to hear. One thing I do want you to tell 'em is I want you to tell them each if you like them.

I love and like each and every one of y'all. Y'all are my best friends whether y'all know it or not.

Now that y'all can see that I'm giving her a tool to learn how to acknowledge y'all more, can y'all at least tell her y'all love her?

I love you, Mama. I love you, Mama.

And I'll stop throwing the little jabs.

I know I do it. I apologize for kicking down your door, cussing you out, doing all that belligerent stuff I was doing. I really do apologize. I'm sorry.

I accept that apology.

Listen. I do see that there's love here. There just has to be a little bit more work. All right? Yeah. Good luck to y'all, all right?

Thank you.