Help! My Family Hates My Husband! | KARAMO

My guest James says his graduation party 3 years ago started out as a celebration, but his sister Kylie's husband Michael flew off the handle and picked a fight with him. The party ended with an ultimatum from the family asking Kylie to choose them or her husband. Well, she chose her husband. But now after 3 years of silence, James is asking me to help them rekindle their relationship. Please tell me, why do you have a problem with your sister's husband?

So I'll take you back, tell you a little story. So I was the class of 2020, the COVID year. We didn't get to finish high school.

We got cut off.

And so we were having my graduation party down in North Carolina 'cause of the COVID rules in New York. We couldn't really have that many people.

Of course.

So me and my buddies, we took a road trip down to North Carolina, started having the party or whatever. I wasn't there for this like situation, but my grandmother, she was sitting on the steps and the kids were splashing. So my cousin's ex, my sister to like tell the kids like, "Stop splashing around the grandmother, go to the other side of the pool." So they went to the other side of the pool, started splashing my cousins. So my cousins yelled at the kids or whatever and my sister Kylie started screaming at my cousins. So Mike took it upon himself to do a belly flop right there in the pool and get my cousins wet and start all this drama. At that point, I'm sitting in the basement and Kylie and my sister Heather come in, they start arguing a little bit saying, "You need to get control of Mike, do this, that, whatever." And I see Mike come down the stairs and get in my sister Heather's face. And I was like, I'm not having that.

Got it.

And we almost had an altercation. And my mom goes, you have an ultimatum. Either you leave with him right now or you stay with your family.

Yeah.

And that's pretty much where—

So this wasn't just an ultimatum between you two as well. This is other family members or something.

Yeah.

Your mom had this as well.

Yeah.

Why do you feel as if there should be an ultimatum?

Just from the stuff I've heard from Like what this guy has done. This is what, his 5th marriage? Like there's an 18-year age gap between them.

Okay, not my place to judge. I'm just writing down the facts that you said. So you all are clear that you don't want Mike around?

Yes.

Yeah. Do you realize that he is a part of your family now though?

I don't recognize him as a family member.

Okay, I understand that you don't recognize him as one, but he's with your sister.

Legally, yes, he is family, but How does this make Kylie feel from here?

Is she upset by this?

I would hope so. I haven't spoken to her within the past 3 years, so I really have no idea.

So it's been 3 years of no communication with your sister. How does that make you feel?

It feels like crap. Like, we bond over not having our father in our life. He just was not a good father, and it just like, I don't know, I feel like I lost like my big sister over this.

Got it. Do you think you're right in this matter?

Yeah, I just have my sister's best interest at heart. Like, that's all I want is the best for my sister. And I'm her only full-blood brother. Like, I feel like it's a duty of mine. It's like a job. I have to.

Got it. So what do you want to happen today?

I just want to reconnect with her, like, but have a relationship with her without Mike involved.

Okay, I understand. Listen everyone, before we meet Michael, take a look at what he had to say about the situation.

So here's the thing, I've been married to Kylie for 5 years now, but her family doesn't accept me. I'm their family whether they like it or not, and I'm not gonna put up with them talking behind my back about me, disrespecting me, and whatever else they need to say about me, they can say it to my face. First off, I've done more for her than anybody's done for her in her life.

Yeah, more than my grandfather?

Now you're gonna bring that up too?

Yeah.

I don't know anybody in the family. She was an emotional wreck. I never got to know anybody in the family.

She was an emotional wreck.

She was emotionally abused. Nobody gave me a chance to know anybody in the family. So how am I supposed to know about anybody?

How many times did you come over for dinner? How many times we played Uno?

'Cause I was not invited.

You were.

3 times?

Yeah. That's not good enough? We accepted you, right? Right at first until you did this shit, right?

Until I did what? I defended my daughter and my niece.

No, you're sitting there calling my cousins shit. Are you serious?

I never said that. I have the texts to prove it.

I have the texts to prove it.

'Cause I'm sticking up for my daughter and my niece. I'm allowed to do it with my family.

But is it that somebody matters splashing in the pool that you don't need to take it upon yourself to go belly splash next to my cousins out of pity?

Because it's a pool party.

No, it wasn't, it was my graduation party. Just 'cause there's a pool there doesn't make it a pool party.

Listen, nice to meet you, Michael. Okay, take a seat for me because I hear what you have to say. I understand now. So I need to know what's your version of what happened at the party? Because y'all started getting too crazy.

Basically, we were there for his graduation party, something I was invited to. The cousins were in the pool, lounging in the pool, just laying there in the pool, not doing anything, not splashing or anything. My daughter and my niece wanted to go play in the pool, so they were jumping in. The other cousins that were in the pool got annoyed 'cause they got splashed and they got wet. So words were exchanged between the cousins and my daughter and my niece. So of course I stepped up and I had to say something. They were basically told they're not allowed to play in the pool. Things got heated because I said something. So my wife pulled me aside and tried to talk about it.

The pool happened, the words got heated. 'Cause that's where the thing, that's where the issue is. It's not even just about the pool, it's about the exchange of words that happened once you were out there.

And the escalation from it.

The escalation.

Yes.

So you feel like, from your point of view, do you feel like you didn't say anything? 'Cause he's saying now that like you got aggressive in his sister's face. Your sister's face that you were drinking a lot. From your point of view, is that what happened?

I got approached by his sister yelling at me because I had opened my mouth and said something. So yes, maybe alcohol was a little bit of a factor.

I'm sure how they came up with that.

Words got exchanged, everyone got heated, and it escalated from there.

Did you ever apologize for that?

That day?

Yeah.

Yes, I did.

Okay.

After the fact.

You apologized by calling my cousin a bitch.

Is that the apology?

I have the proof of it.

No, sir. I wrote long messages to my mother-in-law and my father-in-law explaining the situation.

What about me? It was my graduation party. Shouldn't I deserve an apology?

No?

Do you feel like you owed him an apology? And I'm not judging you or not. I'm asking you, do you, from your point of view?

Right now, today, yes, I do feel that I do owe him an apology for that. That day, no, I didn't because things were escalated.

How does it make you feel that you're not invited?

Sad, unwanted because of the past that I had that has been squashed between my wife and I. And we've worked through our problems and we're still married to this day.

What was it that you did that one time?

I cheated on her.

You cheated.

How many times though? Just once? Yes. Okay. I don't think that's true, but. Go ahead, love.

You don't think it's true. You don't know who I am. You don't, all you hear is through the grapevine. This is your fifth marriage.

No, it's not. Is this your fifth marriage?

No, it's not.

What marriage is this?

Four.

Your fourth marriage.

Oh, oh.

Do you feel for Kylie that she's in this position?

I do very much. In what way? It hurts every day. One, for the mistake that I made. Two, that she gets, has to get invited to family events and she has to choose.

Are you not in her ear though when she makes those decisions not to show up to our grandmother's funeral or her niece's sweet 16?

I told her to go.

Then why didn't she come?

You have to ask her that question. I am with my wife for 5 years now. We have worked out our problems and everyone's holding a grudge against me because of something that happened 4 and a half years ago.

So what is, because I understand that at a pool party things got escalated because everyone's drinking. Words got exchanged, but you said you apologized. You also did admit that you cheated and that could have hurt, that could have hurt Colleen's family because they were probably involved in that understanding. But I don't understand what could make them so scared, and I'm gonna use the word scared, that they wouldn't want to have you around or invite you around.

My point of view from the whole thing is the toxic relationship she was in before.

Okay.

I'm assuming they're scared from that, from what she went through from that past relationship.

You guys got married with 3 months of knowing each other.

No.

That's insane. I don't know who does that.

So you all knew each other for 3 months before you got married?

Correct.

So the family didn't know you at all?

No.

Got it. I understand now. All right, so I think it's time that we meet Kylie right now. Please everyone, welcome Kylie to the show. Does it bother you that they won't forgive him?

It does, but I've learned to live with it.

Mm-hmm. How long were y'all together before he cheated?

It actually happened shortly after we got together, correct?

That's correct.

So you were together for 3 months, you got married.

We were actually, we got married together 7 months 'cause we got together in October, we got married in May. He cheated on me in April.

Okay. And when that happened, you told your family?

I didn't find out until a year later.

So you found out after the pool party or before?

Before. Before the pool party? It was a couple months before.

And you told your family?

I did, I talked to my sister about it.

Got it, okay. How long have you two been married again? 5 years?

Yes.

Okay, makes sense here. Listen, we have Kylie and James' sister Heather, who also was involved in this argument at the party, and I wanna hear what she has to say. So everyone please welcome Heather to the show. Hey Heather, thanks for being here. So please tell me, what is your view on Michael?

He's very impersonable. Kind of like, you know, he has this tough guy exterior, like don't mess with me instantly. It's hard to joke or to tell if he's joking with you. Almost like somebody has done him so wrong that he's afraid to laugh and just have a good time and let go loose. Which is true.

Mike, how do you feel?

It's very true.

Yeah. Heather, what's your relationship like with Kylie?

We're best friends.

Still to this day? Almost. Yes.

Yeah. I mean, obviously there was that hiccup when the whole party happened. It probably about 8 months later, I would say that me and her kind of rekindled, but with restrictions, you know, but we talk every single day. She's actually coming to visit me next weekend without Mike because that is a big problem, obviously.

So even though you two are So even though you two are close, Heather, you won't accept Mike in your life either?

It's not that I won't accept him. It's just there's too much drama throughout the whole entire family that I have to choose wisely on my decisions to kind of make everybody happy without causing extra—

She does this to avoid conflict between me and Mike. She doesn't want us to run into each other at a family event and the same thing that happened, that happened at my graduation party.

Got it. But I'm still confused of why there is so much tension with the family and Mike when they've only, you all have only met him basically 1 or 2 or 3 times?

Well, I'm the baby of the family, the baby boy.

And Heather has—

You try to fight the baby boy of the family, nobody's gonna want you around.

Other than the tension that the family has with Mike, how do you feel about him?

I hated him for a while. I hate the fact that like I can't have a good relationship with both my siblings. I always have to pick and choose.

So you hate him because of the division he's caused, but has he done anything to you to make you hate him?

No, it's really that hate is more like things that I know that he's done to my sister. But again, I've tried my hardest not to judge, and at some point I have to judge.

Got it, okay. Well, listen, I know how to get to this really quickly. So the first thing is like, we gotta back up, 'cause at the beginning of this we talked about the party, and I asked you if you apologized, you said you didn't because at the time, Can you give him that apology right now?

I mean, I can. I mean, it's been what, 4 years now?

Doesn't matter how much time.

I do apologize for what happened that day. Yes, we were all drinking. I shouldn't have stood up. I shouldn't have opened my mouth. But again, I was defending my daughter and my niece at the time.

I feel like everyone was at fault that day.

Honestly, I've been thinking about it, you know, apologizing because I did apologize to my in-laws, your mom and step.

There was no apology. It was literally everything everyone else did wrong and I didn't even get an apology at all.

So would you be willing to apologize to Heather as well?

I do apologize for everything that's happened. And I mean that sincerely. Kylie and I are still married and like I said before, I'm not going anywhere.

Did you say that the first 3 wives?

This is us.

Hold on. You said he didn't apologize and he apologized to you. He's apologized to your sister now.

This is what I mean. It's no matter what I say.

That's what I'm gonna navigate it with you.

Well, I respect the apology of what he's saying.

You expect an apology?

I don't accept it though. I can't personally accept it on my morals, everything. I just can't.

Heather, do you accept the apology?

Yes.

Good. So look, you got one person. Thank you. I do believe that if she said that the parents didn't get a proper apology, I think no matter what, You both have your sides. You were in their home and out of respect, I think it's just to go back and say, I apologize for being in your home and causing conflict. I understand exactly what you're feeling. You have two sisters that you love dearly and because you didn't have a father in the home, you took on the protective mode early on. Correct?

Correct.

And so you stepped up and you did what you thought was right in the moment. But at the end of the day, your sister made a choice. And she has to protect herself. Unfortunately, she's trying to let you know that she's a grown woman that's gonna protect herself. But yet you are like, shoot, I wanna protect you. I wanna be here for you. And that's all that happened here. Can you understand that your brother was trying to do what he could to protect you?

I do. I 100% do understand that and I get that.

So you gotta talk to him.

I love you, Karamo. I love you, Karamo.

And in the same, I do love you.

And I'm not gonna walk out on you.

I will never walk away from you.

There you go.

Thank you.

So in this situation, all you had to say was, "Hold on, no baby, you did wrong. Come talk to my family. Brother, quiet down." Don't ever let this family get broken again for years over something that is a, let me tell you something, this is stupid.

It was.

I'm gonna tell y'all that point blank. Stupid as hell. Your feelings weren't stupid.

That's not stupid.

Yeah.

The situation that has arose from this is what's stupid. So you got your work to do.

Correct.

You got your work to do.

Yes.

And you got your work to release, right?

Yeah.

All right, y'all gonna be all right? Good luck, okay?

Thank you.

All right everyone, stay with us. We'll be right back. Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.