Cameron, 25, ended a ten-year relationship and worries about hurting future partners. Karamo tells her to grieve first, then reframe the years as a season that taught her about herself. When dating again, tell people you're in a learning phase and not ready for commitment yet.
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So, you know, I get a lot of emails and texts and DMs from everyone asking me for advice as well. So, you know, I started the new segment Q and K where y'all could ask me for advice, but I wanna throw it to my audience. If anybody here needs any advice from me, raise your hand and I will answer your questions. Anybody need any advice? You need some? Come on right here. I'll come to you. This girl walked in the audience and I was like, oh, she cute from head to toe. Come through. What is your name?
I'm Cameron. I go by Cam.
Hi, Cam.
Hi.
What's your question?
Okay, so I'm 25 years old and I was in a 10-year relationship and it just recently ended last year. And I just wanted some advice on like, what would you tell a young Black woman who is like still processing that and like getting through that, but also kind of wants to mingle, but just doesn't wanna like hurt guys' feelings?
Well, first of all, it's going to take you some time to grieve that relationship because A lot of your formative years, and you're still in your formative years, were spent with somebody who you probably built a life and a future with, correct?
That's true.
But I need you to understand that that was supposed to be for that season. That was supposed to be for the lessons you learned from that. It was supposed to be so that you could be in this space, and now you can use all those lessons to go into the rest of your life where you can say, you know what, now I know what I want. Now I know more about myself as a woman. Do you ever say that to yourself? Now I know more about myself as a woman?
I used to be better at like the self-affirmations. I should get back into that.
Well, we gonna start it right now. Did that relationship, 9 years, teach you teach you more about yourself as a woman?
No.
It did not? It had to have been. I'm not gonna lie to you. There's no way you could have been in a 9-year relationship and you didn't learn more so about yourself. What did you learn about yourself?
That I am resilient.
Thank you. Taught you more about that as a woman. What else did it teach you?
And that I should be a little less tolerant to certain things.
You saw how she just sat here and said, my 9-year relationship didn't teach me nothing. Though I'm over here resilient and realize I'm not gonna tolerate BS no more.
I had to think about it.
Thank you, thank you. So understanding and remembering that that relationship taught you that because you needed that lesson. Because I got people who I've seen on this stage who are 40, 45, 50 who still haven't learned to not deal with certain BS. You learned that at an earlier season in your life, which is a blessing. And so to not hurt other men's, to hurt other people's feelings or men that you're dating, You say, "Hey, right now I'm in a new season where I'm still learning about myself. And that means that I might not be able to commit as I'm learning about myself." And if you can just say that, put it on you. I'm in a season of learning about myself, which means I might not be able to commit. Use that language. And I promise you, they gonna get it quick. They gonna be like, "Okay, I understand. You got it, you feel it?" And stop forgetting about what you learned because the more you forget about the lessons, you gonna end up repeating them.
That's it. Thank you. Thank you.
All right. Come on, Cam. Come on, Cam. All right, friends, listen, that's Q and K. We're going to be back for more. See you in a bit.
