A 37-year-old divorced mother asks when to introduce her 8-year-old son to her new boyfriend. Karamo says trust your judgment about your child's maturity, keep him informed as the relationship develops, and involve him gradually. Model honest communication so he learns to express his feelings.
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Hey Karamo.
Oh, you cute. Okay, outfit. Okay, I like this. I like the little harness situation.
All right, so before I end up on your couch in a couple months, I have a question. I have a young child, he's 8, and he wants mommy to find love again after my divorce. How soon should I introduce him to my new boo?
Well, the first question, you said he wants mommy to find love. Do you wanna find love again?
I do. I wanna be a wife again.
Okay, okay. I don't know because some people, they feel the pressure to have kids just, I mean, to find a partner. Just 'cause they have a young kid. You know, you look fly. You could still be in your single life, have fun.
I'm 37, yeah.
Come on, age. Come on. Looking good.
Yes.
Okay, so are you dating?
I am.
And is it serious?
We just met a couple of weeks ago on my way to your show.
Really?
Yes.
Okay, yeah, we don't want y'all on this couch, okay? So this advice gotta be good.
Right.
Okay, and your question is how soon to introduce?
Yes.
I think I trust in parents, especially you. I can tell you have not only great style, but you have a great discernment. And I believe that it's best for parents to trust. They know their child. My parents, my father, I think used to, when I was a kid and they got divorced, my father used to introduce me to his girlfriends way too quick. It was like, okay, 3 weeks and then she was gone. I didn't know her, but I all of a sudden, where my mother, I think sometimes waited way too long because then I felt like now they had waited a year into the relationship. And me as a child, I got introduced and I'm looking at photos of them on trips and all this stuff and I'm like, well, was I not important enough? And it started to make me question, well, why didn't you trust me enough to tell me about this? And so I think you have a gauge on your child's emotional maturity. You have a gauge on knowing like if he's able to handle stuff. And especially for the fact that he wants mommy to find love.
He does.
I don't think there's gonna be any negative consequences if you introduce him to him quickly or when you're ready.
Right.
So what for you is the timeline that you think is best?
I don't know, with this one, it just happened so quickly.
Yeah.
And at first it was like, oh yeah, I'm in these streets and I don't want nothing serious. And then we both was like, no, I kind of think this is what I want. Then he met my moms on Monday.
Oh, so he's already met mom?
But it was like an accident. He was like, yo, where you at? I said, I'm over here. He said, I'm coming. I said, oh, okay.
Okay, I already like how it's sounding. I see why he's moving fast.
And I was talking to her about him. Yes. And my son, I thought he was playing video games and wasn't paying me no mind. And he was like, did you get his number? Like, I wanna meet him. And I'm like—
So this changes the story. So now, see, this is why you gotta get context.
Okay.
If your son's already heard and he's engaged in the conversation, respect his intelligence enough and respect your relationship enough to say, you know what? So, Mommy, I have met him, we're talking. I don't have anything else to say because I believe that we should take this slow, but I promise you I'll include you as I'm, when I feel like things have progressed. Just by letting him know that, I'm telling you what you've done is now he knows Mommy respects me. He knows that Mommy, and also you're modeling how to communicate. So when he gets older, he's gonna be able to not hold his feelings in. He's gonna say, hey, I can tell you what the truth is, and when I'm ready to express more, I can.
Absolutely.
So he's already heard it, so you got it. Yeah, tell him. Thank you. Good job. And you stay fly. Good luck. Listen, everyone, thank you everybody for your questions. Listen, I love answering your questions. I love giving you advice. And listen, if you want to join me for a Q and K, make sure to come to the studio audience. We are always here. Or make sure to continue to hit me up on social media. But as always, thank you for supporting me and thank you for being here with us. Make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and we can keep going. I love you all.
