A viewer burned out for ten years asks Karamo how to recover. He identifies two fixes: build a community that notices when you're overwhelmed, so you're not dumping everything at once, and protect time for something that brings pure joy, like swimming. Balance, he says, is the only way out.
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So my question is, I realize I've been burnt out for the past 10 years and I'm on my way to recovery from being burnt out. So my question for you is, have you ever been burnt out? If so, what advice do you have for somebody that's recovering from burnout?
Okay, so burnt out from family, kids, or work? Or all of the above?
All of them.
All of the above. Okay then. Life is, you're just, you're tired. You're exhausted by it. Okay then. And this has been happening, you said, for the last 10 years.
I realized it was the past 10 years.
Yeah. So the question I usually say to someone who's burnt out is, first of all, is what support system do you have built around you?
I got a few people. I think my thing is I don't like asking because I notice that whenever I unload, it's a lot. So I try to like not unload.
Well, the reason you're unloading is because that support system have never been built properly. And so what it is, is now when you try to get somebody in, there's so much that you have built up because you never had that real community around you. So anytime the advice I can give you is going forward, focus on building a community so that when things come up, they're already there set into place and they can see the signs that you're not feeling good, see the signs that you're overwhelmed versus being in the day-to-day struggle and saying, oh now, hey, oh, you in my life, oh, can I unload on you? No, no, no, because that's not fair to them, but it's also not fair to you. You deserve to have a group of people around you who can see you, understand what you need and support you. So what I always suggest to people is you've been through the burnout, How life works is unfortunately it's a pendulum, it might happen again. So it happens to all of us, no matter how successful you are, no matter if you got kids or you don't, it happens to all of us. So what you should do right now is start cultivating a community and start saying to people, hey, listen, I wanna build people around me who are gonna see me and support me and wanna be there for me. And let that be your intention. Don't let it be, let me talk to you about my issue, let me tell you what's going on. Be about building community, 'cause what happens is that the next time you're going through this, community's already set up and it's not like I'm dumping and you won't feel that guilt of like, I don't wanna let out on people. So that's the first thing. So can you build community?
Yes.
Secondly, now that you have community or once you start setting up community, do you know what's going to bring you the most joy?
I have different ideas of what gives me joy. Like completing my to-do list. I don't know if that's what you mean by that.
Hell no, that's not what I mean by that. Girl, she talking about, she talking about to-do list. Girl, don't nobody want a to-do list to bring me that brings you joy? I mean, listen, I got a little OCD, so I do love checking off things on my to-do list, but you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about what is the moment where you like, you know what, I'm sitting back, I feel relaxed, I feel good. The stress of them kids, life, whatever, is not around me right now because this is the moment that I'm doing something I love. It could be scribbling on a piece of paper, it could be painting, it could be walking down the street, it could be petting a dog, it could be doing whatever you love. It could be shopping in the store because you just like picking out the clothes. What do you do that brings you joy?
Swimming.
Swimming. Where the pool that you got?
The gym that I go to or the recreational center.
[Speaker] Okay then. So what you need to let everybody know in your life that listen, for the next month you're gonna carve out 2 days, not 1, 2 days to do what you love. Because what happens is if you can start to create a pattern in your life where you are doing what you love, as the burnout starts to happen, you have a release. So now you have a community, you also have what you love. And those things, 2 things combined allow you to manage the burnouts better because now it's like, okay, yeah, life is stressing me out. But you know what? I also know I have people who love me and I also know I have something that I do I enjoy doing and people know that you can't, these two days, you're not taking away my personal joy. And those things balance out the burnout, okay? Because burnout, the only way to solve burnout is through balance. Say it with me. The only way to solve burnout is through balance.
The only way to solve burnout is through balance.
And so if you can find balance in community and balance in doing something that brings you joy, it will help the burnouts to be less. Trust me. Don't wake you. I tell y'all all the time, this is why y'all need to come sit in this studio audience and have fun. Did y'all— did I help some of y'all? Listen, I love doing a little quick Q&A, so come back for more and come sit in our audience. It's a good time, trust me. We'll be right back, y'all.
