I Brought the Divorce Papers, We're Over! | KARAMO

I've been married to my husband Rocky for 18 years. I gave up everything for my husband Rocky, and we have 4 kids together. I've been PTA president. I've been a baseball mom. I made snacks every night for my kids. For the past 7 years, my husband has emotionally abandoned me. I feel used by him. I feel highly disrespected. I am pissed, and I know he's been Cheating. I discovered my husband has several dating profiles. I feel like he's not sexually attracted to me. He held up a pair of my clothes the other day and told me I look like a toddler. My husband's been hooking up with women he's met online, so he drove a couple hours away to meet somebody. He stayed the night with her. Rocky blames me and my drinking, but it is his fault. He has to fucking change. He has to.

That is a lie. She is not telling the truth whatsoever.

Mm-hmm.

I'm really pissed about this whole situation that's going on.

Yeah. Your wife is blaming you for ruining the marriage.

Ruining our marriage? Our marriage has been on the brink for 8 years. She's been cheating constantly. The infidelity in our relationship has just rocked me to the core, but we have children, I have a job, I have a career, I love her, I just wanna make all this work. So it's just, it makes me so angry to see a video.

'Cause she's saying in this video that you're the one that's cheating, so she is the one that's cheating, not you?

I have, she is a serial cheater. Her infidelity, it just, It's multiple boyfriends over the years that won't go, some of them won't go away and some of them are just brand new that pop up. I'm gone so much and I work so much that, yeah, I emotionally abandoned her, but what am I supposed to do when I can't even emotionally attach myself to her because of these feelings of her cheating? So yes, the dating profile is true. We went through a little separation back in December. She went off to a treatment center and I was at home with the kids and she told me blatantly that she was not going to come back to be with me. I had to fill the void somehow.

Well, I wanna ask you a question. How did you find out about your wife's affairs?

She is—

'Cause you said she has boyfriends. That's a lot different than just slept with someone. That means it's a continuous thing and you're her husband saying this.

Yeah, I know she has boyfriends. She is honest to the fault. So her personality is she's going to say everything that is on her mind no matter what, regardless of the circumstances it puts her in or how it hurts anybody else. Shawn's a firecracker. She will say whatever's on her mind.

And so she told you directly?

No, she tells me every time directly. And she does it to kind of push it in. So I'll go off, you know, I go once a week out to work and I do what I gotta do. Yes, I leave. Yes, You know, but this job I have, yeah, she gets to drive a Mercedes-Benz. She has a new house. She has a bank account that for the most part's always available for whatever she wants.

She's never worked?

She has worked in the past. It's not that she doesn't, but she's never had to work. 'Cause I'm always the one on the grind.

Got it, got it, got it. Is she involving your kids in the conflict between you two?

Yes, the kids are very aware of all the conflict. Our oldest daughter won't even talk to us anymore over our conflict.

Oh, wow.

My younger kids, you know, they, it goes back and forth. We constantly go at it with each other. And yeah, it puts a lot, I have to grind a lot and it leaves me emotionally detached because, you know, if I go and I have a hard week at work, yeah, I get home and I'm tired. So the night I come home and I'll be, you know, drained and she, feels like I'm not connecting with her because I'm tired. I just got home from a long flight and I worked all week, you know, long hours. I get home and then we get in a fight and she's like, well, that's fine because I went out with so-and-so this week and we spent the night. Or, you know, I've had it to where she's, you know, hey, can I get a hotel room tonight? And I'm like, well, why am I gonna get you a hotel room? Well, I just need to go to a hotel room. I mean, that type of stuff.

So she's asking you to pay for her hotel room to sleep with other men?

I mean, yeah.

Where is your mind when that happens? When you get that call? 'Cause I can tell you where my mind would be.

Well, it's the same place mine is, but then on the other hand, I want her to be safe. She'll be intoxicated, like, don't know where she's at, and I need to get a hotel room where we left the casino or—

So you feel like you still wanna protect her?

I do.

'Cause you said she was in rehab, so the drinking, 'cause she said in that video, if I heard right, that she feels like the drinking is your fault?

I get blamed for it. I drink and I closet drink because I will tell her, "Oh, I'm not drinking, I'm not." And that is part of my mechanism that I try to use to cover up the problems.

Got it. All right everyone, well please welcome Rocky's wife, Shawn, to the show so we can hear her side of the story.

Those are all lies. And you know it, he's a compulsive liar.

He is?

He is.

And why would you say that?

Because when I filed for divorce, the whole boyfriend thing, I don't have boyfriends. I don't have an emotional connection with anyone else. I go—

But you have a physical one with him.

I do, you're right. You're right, I do.

Yes, sometimes I do drink. Yes, I do frickin' do stupid stuff. But every day I wake up and I'm putting the grind on for my family and my children. And sometimes I come home and there's, "Hey, guess what? I went out with so-and-so and he's way better in bed than you." You've said that?

I've never said that. Nope. I've actually said the opposite. I've told you the opposite.

So you've never said to him that other men are better in bed than you?

No, I've never said that. Nope.

Shawn, I wanna know from you, what do you think is missing in your marriage?

Everything.

I mean, yes, he works and kudos, but when you come home and you have to take care of your children, he doesn't do that. He doesn't clean up after himself. He thinks that a divorce, I think a divorce might be good, but then it's just gonna be me being a single mom. He doesn't take 50% of the help now, why would he take it then? He will emotionally detach himself from us, and then I will get angry and physical, and then it just, he tells me he loves me, and then it just starts all over again. It's a huge loop.

But you haven't said you're done either, so.

I think I pretty much put in stone that I was done when I filed for the divorce papers.

Did you file?

Yes, I filed.

You filed?

Yes. Yeah.

Okay, and what happened?

He was advised by his lawyer not to leave the house.

To not leave the house, why?

Well, I mean, we own the house together and she said once you leave, you're leaving your domain and she could change the locks and she can have—

Because he doesn't wanna take care of the kids 50% of the time.

No, it's not that at all.

No, because when you're with me, You come to me when you're at my home, your bills are paid, your kids are taken care of, your dishes are done, your laundry's done, everything's done for you.

You don't wanna grow up.

When I met you, you still lived with your parents.

Rocky, do you wanna save this marriage?

Of course I do, but we can't continue to do this this way. We gotta continue. I'm fucked.

I'm done.

Got it.

I'm done with this.

I got a question for you. She said to you, she just needs you to look her in the face and say that I'm sleeping with another woman. She said she just wants the honesty. You wanna tell her right now you're sleeping with another woman?

No, 'cause I'm not.

Have you in the past slept with other women?

No, I haven't.

So you're telling me this entire time you've been on the road that you've not slept with any women even though you've had dating profiles?

Absolutely not.

Never?

Never.

But he says that, but he stayed the night with somebody in Oklahoma City and he lied about it to our kids' face. He said, "I'm going to work," kissed our kids goodbye and went and stayed the night with a woman.

I did, I stayed.

So what did you do, have a slumber party?

Pretty much, and I got to the airport early.

No.

I'm seriously so emotionally broken from everything. How could I? I couldn't even get my—

That is such a lie.

It's not a lie.

There's a lot going on in your relationship. And when I asked you about the divorce and what's going on, you said that your lawyers advised you not to leave the house, which makes complete sense to me. But what I wanna know from you is why didn't you leave?

I can't have a career. I can't raise 3 kids on my income. And I know from past experience that he's not gonna just start paying child support. He's not.

You don't know that.

You don't pay your bills.

But the money's in the account for every—

So who pays the bills right now? So you're saying you maintain the house right now?

I'm done with this.

So, so, okay. So, so you're saying you pay the bills right now?

I pay all the bills. I do everything. I mean everything.

Okay then, so why do you think that you won't? I'm mom and dad. So you don't make your own money right now?

No.

It's all his?

I would love to have a job. I was working up until COVID hit, then was done.

Is it his money that you're doing? Is that why? Are you using him for that?

No, of course not. I don't get any of that money.

You don't think I want the divorce? Here you go. Oh! Sign it.

All he knows is lies. His whole being is around lies.

So you don't think this is real?

No.

You don't think these papers are signed?

No, I don't.

Let's see.

No.

No. So there is drama to it. Okay.

Nope.

Okay.

Everything he does is a lie.

You ready to sign?

I'm serious.

And sign them.

So you came out here, are you ready to sign these divorce papers?

Yeah, I am ready, but I don't want to, but I am ready. I just wanna find a way to get past this.

Okay, if you want my advice, y'all are in a cycle of emotional manipulation. You're in a cycle of hurting each other and destroying each other. I do believe if you're going to man up and step up and give her these papers, then you man up and step up and sign them. Because there's nothing about that that's gonna be healthy. And that's just my honest opinion for you. And I believe that if the concern, and again, and I'm not calling you the bad guy and I'm not calling you the bad woman because you're equally, you equally are destructive to each other. If we flip this on the other way and we saw a man saying this to a woman, we would all empathize with her. And so I'm empathizing with you as a man. Your wife is telling you she's sleeping with other men. She's telling you to your face.

Yeah, it's tough.

It is tough.

Yeah.

Now you have children together and I think her concern is valid that there has to be support there for the children. Of course. So I really hope that you will do that.

Of course.

Listen, he's making a commitment right here on television that he will support you and the family.

He's also made that commitment in life and he doesn't do it. I mean, I can only do so much.

But I only think, I don't think, well, it's signed. You wanna give it to her? I know this is rough for you because there's a part of you that is so used to dysfunction that it's like, what else do I do? This is all that I know. I know this dysfunction. I saw how young y'all were. What are you thinking about over there right now? What are you thinking about?

That I don't know if I've made the best decision or the worst decision right now.

You made the best decision. You made the best decision. Take a deep breath. You're gonna process this. Take a deep breath. You're gonna need to process this. You're still in shock.

I am.

Yeah. And I know there's a part of you as well that as much as you want this, you would've pulled the trigger as well before because you're in the same cycle as well. You could've pulled the trigger.

Yeah, I asked for this 2 years ago. I've known it was coming.

But like I said, you could have pulled the trigger trigger, but you didn't fight.

I can't. There's no way. I would have to leave my children and I don't think he's ready for them 100% of the time.

So listen, what I've heard from this is that even though he wasn't there physically, he has 100% supported you and your family. And so that, I believe financially.

Yeah.

So if he was doing it before, I already feel that it's gonna be done, that it's gonna be done after. Sean. I wanna know, do you wanna apologize for anything?

I have, yeah, of course, of course. I apologize for not being strong enough to get through the emotional part of it. I apologize for having to reach out for physical and emotional contact. I apologize how it all played out. Just didn't see that coming.

Rocky, do you wanna apologize for anything?

I apologize for everything.

Everything from the get-go, everything that went wrong.

It's always been my fault.

What did you just say in that last part?

Everything. I take responsibility for everything. Because at the end, everything is my fault. Cause I should have been able to do better.

I stopped you and said that you can't. You can't do that. It's not your fault. There are two people in this relationship, and you both made decisions throughout this relationship that were unhealthy. You both made. You weren't there to pick up her phone and make her go to another guy.

I know.

So that's not your fault. That is her choice.

Right.

It was your choice to choose a job where you had to go away.

Right.

It was your choice. And that did cause you to start moving on. But don't ever again put that. You need to start practicing right now to start not putting that full guilt on yourself. Can you say, "I'm sorry, but it was both of our faults"?

I'm sorry, it was both of our faults.

Can you say that as well?

Yeah, absolutely. I'm sorry, it was both of our faults.

I think y'all have taken the first step here to honestly communicating, and I really hope you heard that. Both of your faults. You heard her say it as well. Both of y'all's faults. Leave this. Start to rebuild your self-esteem. Start to rebuild your self-esteem. Both of y'all get healthy once you're not having this relationship break y'all down, okay? I really do wish y'all the best of luck. Stay strong, keep this divorce, all right? You can give it up for them.