I Can Smell The Cheating! | KARAMO

What's making you emotional right now?

I've been with him for 2 years. We met on Facebook Dating.

Mm-hmm.

He seemed like a great guy. He was an awesome guy. He is a single father of a 6-year-old. He's been taking care of her for the past 6 years by himself. And I stepped into the picture and it was a lot of red flags for me in the beginning.

What were they?

Lying to me about certain females, friends, homegirls that he had. This one homegirl, they were friends for a while before I came into the picture, but it was certain, you know, as a female, when you have a best friend as a guy or a girl, it's certain things that you can see. If I'm sitting here talking to you like this as a best friend, I shouldn't see no eye contact of winking and I'm sitting right next to you and we're hanging out with her. In the house. You wanna go chill with her, her girlfriend doesn't even come downstairs to come hang out with us. It's just, I felt like a third wheel. My last straw with him, he sent a dick picture to her. I was at work.

This supposed to be his best friend?

Yes. Somebody who is a best friend is a girl, she's gay, but it was just like, that's my last straw. Like then you came home from work one day, a job that he had previous, He wanted to take me out to dinner. You come and give me a hug and kiss and you smell like another woman's undergarments. So it's just like, you don't tell me who it is, but I already know that you stepped out and did something you're not supposed to do.

And so did he cheat on you?

Yes, I just don't know who.

Okay.

He told me it was a cousin. They had girls in a hotel room and shit just happened. Excuse my French. Yeah. But I'm just like, if you didn't care about me when you did that, what's the point? If you just want to go out there and smoke and drink and do that, I'm not that type of female. I'm a hardworking woman. I'm an HVAC technician. I am in— I'm in a male-dominated field. I am the first Black woman my company had as a female service tech. I've been with them for a whole year. I clean furnaces. I clean AC units. I'm crawling under crawl spaces. I'm fighting off snakes and frogs. I'm one female doing a job. I'm a shop steward in a union too. It's not easy being in a field with all men, and then I gotta come home and deal with your bull crap because you wanna drink too much, you wanna smoke too much. We get in arguments, you will run straight to the damn bar. For me, the person who cries wolf the most is the person doing the most shit. You know what I'm saying?

So why does he think you're cheating then?

In the beginning, in my HVAC job, people ask me, why am I working so many hours?

You think that's why he thinks you're gay?

Yeah, and the sex part. This man will, see, for me, I'm a tomboy. I don't have to have sex like that. Sex is not all for me in a relationship. He will want to have sex 4 to 5 times a day. It got to the point that I stopped doing it 'cause it was just like, I'm tired. And on top of that, I'm not sure—

He wants you to have sex 4 to 5 times a day with a full-time job and overtime?

It feels like that. It's hard.

And taking care of the kid?

It's hard. And she's not mine, but she is mine. I claim her as mine.

I'm talking about how unrealistic that is.

I mean—

And on top of that, I have a health condition. I had to be in the hospital, I had to get sliced open, I had to get drained. He was with when I called him smoking a blunt and told me my health risk is not an emergency, I'd rather smoke a blunt with her. But I'm in the hospital, I was fine in the beginning.

This is the best friend he sent this to?

Yes, that's the pic too, yes. I was in the hospital, mind you, I was fine. Then I had a fever in less than 15 minutes because my white blood cell count was high through the roof. And he's still sitting outside, not at the hospital, but wherever she's at, she decides to get her little ass on the phone and be like, "Well, it's not a health emergency. You always gotta say something when I'm with him." Yeah, and the next time I see you, I'm gonna whoop your ass 'cause you have a bitch. You have a whole girlfriend. Why does what my guy does or my boyfriend do have to affect you? Mind you, he could be eating your shit wherever y'all at.

First of all, I'm the one that had to show up because I was trying to get clarity in our relationship because I have made mistakes in the past.

Okay.

So let's get that clear first. I had to show up. I wanted to get all of this stuff out in the open because I'm 38 years old. I have a 6-year-old daughter like she said, and I want my daughter to feel like she's growing up in some sort of normalcy. And I'm trying to get us to be at a point where we can snap together and be the way I think we can be. When I first met her, I was 36. I had just got out of a real, real bad relationship with, not just, but I was out of a real bad relationship. Dee Dee is a godsend. I'm just mad that me and Dee Dee met the way we met. We wasn't supposed to have met the way we met. If we had met under different circumstances, it would've been probably way better. When I met Dee Dee, I was single. I was out there because like she was, she over— that was a lot of cap, everybody. Ain't no 4 to 5 times a day. I ain't got enough sweat, blood, and none of that for 4 or 5 days in. Probably 3 to 4.

That's true.

"You always hit 'em so much.

We give birth, but damn." That's what she said.

Probably not, all right, well, maybe like 2, 3, 3, 4, but it ain't 4 or 5, man. That's not what it is.

3, 4 is basically up there.

I can't even, like, that's like, I like breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

You got it, okay.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

But so you admitted that you stepped out.

Yeah, yeah.

You stepped out.

So when I met her, I made a lot of emphasis on sex, not because that's all I'm looking for, because I'm looking for substance as well, I just realistically know that sex, as much as it is not the biggest thing in the relationship, it is a big thing. It's important. Yes, 'cause there is an energy exchange there. And also there's a bond that's been built. Well, with some people, you know, if you just out there smacking everything, then that's one thing. But when you really with one person and you love that person and y'all have an energy bond, there's an energy transfer. And that's what I really be looking for. Now with the cheating, so—

Because you did send a photo of your genitals to your best friend.

No, no, well—

Did you do that?

That's cap, that's cap. You didn't do that. Wait a minute.

You tried to delete it and I found it before you deleted it.

Can you finish?

I sent you the screenshot and I sent you that whole paragraph.

Can you finish? Did you just say how I just said not 4 to 5 but 3 to 4 and then you saw how it—

'Cause you said that was cap. That was not cap.

Can you stop so I can say something? Do you see what I'm saying? I'm trying to talk to you, you talking to me and she keep trying to tell me what's going on. She don't even know what I'm about to say. I'm gonna go opposite way.

So what happened?

It was a picture, but when you say a penis pic, I'm thinking of naked, no clothes. I had boxes on. It's still a dick pic. I'm not saying, see, if you would've just let me finish, you would've heard that I was saying she was right, but it wasn't fully naked. That's all I was trying to say. And I know that I've been wrong about a lot of things, but when I first met her, it was things that made me look at her with, like she said, the red flags. I had a lot of those as well, coming out of a real jacked up relationship and then bringing her in. When I first met her, I gave her access to everything, everything. My house, my money. She could go on her phone and look at my Capital One from her phone.

Are you cheating now?

No.

Not at all?

No. I will say there was an incident when she went to ATL because, oh, and that's another thing.

I knew it and you lied about that too. Come on, man. I asked you 3 times about that. And you wait till we get here to say it. Who did you cheat with? No, I know. Who did you cheat with?

Anyway.

Who was it?

Exactly my point. You can't answer.

You can't answer.

I'm trying to finish what I'm saying. Anyway.

I didn't cheat in Atlanta. So who was it, your baby mother? Who was it?

This is the type of stuff that I'm talking about.

Exactly, so you cheated when I left for Atlanta and I never cheated.

She broke up with me.

That's crazy.

Now when somebody, when you in a relationship with somebody.

I hope her [MASKED] is good enough. I really do.

You see?

So you're saying that she ended the relationship?

Yes, she broke up with me. 'Cause we had an argument before. No, no, we didn't have no, wait, see, now you're asking me questions, I'm trying to answer them and then I'm being shut up by somebody who's not.

'Cause you lying.

I'm not lying.

So Mike, one question. She left to Atlanta. Did you cheat?

Yes.

Okay, you did. You sat there and lied to me in my face.

And you told me you didn't do it. And that was funny how that was last month and now you wanna come out and say this shit? You do this shit all the time. You did this when you first cheated.

I never said that.

I asked you one time.

Why you doing shit? Let me talk.

They wanna keep going.

That's what I'm talking about, man. How can we have a conversation if you keep yelling?

How you expect me to sit here and you cheated? Twice!

We're not trying to talk.

You can't even say it.

We're trying to talk and get over stuff, and you wanna keep on talking about it.

You lied, you cheated, and you fucking lied, and I asked you 3 times.

I never lied. Yes, you did. I told her, I said when you broke up, I said I was hurt.

Yes, you did it.

I said I didn't wanna talk about it because I was hurt and you left. No, you didn't. That's exactly what I said.

You never said that you cheated, and it's funny how we get on Karamo, now you say that we cheated.

The other thing too, there's a lot of stuff that was going on in the beginning.

What the fuck?

If you gotta, see what I'm talking about?

What the fuck?

Bitch gotta be talking, and she sitting there screaming in front of all of y'all. She's sitting there spinning it up in front of all of y'all. I've been pissed before.

You lied to me.

You fucking lied to me.

Yes, you did.

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

You broke up with me to go to her. It do matter, you left.

So you left your daughter in the house from 9 in the morning to 4 o'clock in the morning when the fuck went to whoever the fuck it went to? And you left her in the house?

I can't hear her, I'm too tall.

And you lied?

I can't hear, she's too high. What did you want to happen?

I'm not having this Shelton mess with her. How can you fix shit when you lying? Herself, 'cause I'm not sitting back.

Then go backstage. Have a good day. You mad? That's your mind again.

You can't have a conversation with somebody else.

Just go, man. Ring about to come off. I'm tired of this.

So, Dee Dee, I'm going to ask you this. I know, I know he lied.

He didn't— he never told me that he cheated on me, and I asked him, 'cause I looked at the location when I came back from Atlanta.

Just say came back.

That man was somewhere From 9 o'clock at night till 4 something in the morning. And then you left your daughter in the house with your grandmother. So you lied to me.

I gotta ask you this. I gotta ask you this. 'Cause I know we're here to unlock phones, but that's just a symptom of something way deeper that we've all witnessed, we've all seen. You tell me this story of how, well, the type of woman you are, what you do for this relationship, how you're supporting him. And I'm not gonna sit here and call Dennis a bad man because I don't know him and I didn't get a lot of this time.

He's not, it's just like the decisions that you do, it's like you can't tell me this.

But what I do know, hold on, before I, lemme go this. But what I do know is that you have felt unsupported. You have felt like you have been giving the most. You felt exhausted.

Yes, that's why I'm here.

And he's now, he's admitted to you now cheating again. So, and then you say things like, well, this ring's about to come off. What is it?

I told him that when I came on this show, I didn't even wanna come on the show, number one. Number two, I have told him more than 3 times that we can go to therapy and we can go to AA, 'cause that are the 2 things that he needs the most.

But why, my question is, why are you staying?

You know a man is not that, you know.

But why are you staying? Why are you avoiding that question?

I didn't know about the cheating part. I told him that if I get on this show and you tell me that you cheated, the ring is coming off. It will sit right here with Karamo until you come back on. And when we get back to Baltimore, that is it. Like, you lied to me and I'm not doing it no more. So he's saying that all these guys—

Now take a deep breath. Now take a deep breath. Now take a deep breath. Now take a deep breath.

I got this.

I got this. Take a deep breath.

It's just like, you see all your homeboys doing this shit, you don't gotta do the same stuff they doing.

And then if you surrounding yourself with that stuff, you're going to become that. I'm not that female. I'm not a hoe.

Take a deep breath.

I'm not a hoe. I don't even have kids. I'm 31. I don't even have kids yet. Karamo, I'm just tired.

Take a deep breath.

I've been through too much stuff.

Look over here.

I'm tired.

Take a deep breath.

I'm tired.

Breathe in and breathe out. Release this. You gotta release this. The ring is off. You're done. Listen, you made the biggest first step here by taking off that ring and I applaud you for that. And you gotta take a deep breath and release this. He is no longer your problem. The support you're giving his daughter, that is no longer your responsibility. And now you get to start healing. And it's gonna take some time because you're in shock, but stick to this decision. There is nothing that can happen and go forward from here that's ever gonna be healthy. And I hope you know that, and I'm sorry, but it ain't going—

It's even hard to even know like when about the phone stuff. Like I don't even know what y'all found in the phone.

It ain't gonna be nothing worse than we all seen. You gotta be done with this and I wish you the best. And you took off this ring and I'm not even gonna give it back to you, girl, because at the end of the day, you don't need this no more. You don't need this.

This was holding you down.

This was not uplifting. People put on these rings and they forget this is supposed to uplift you.

That's a promise ring. How the hell you gonna give me a promise ring and you cheated on me twice?

I wish you the best of luck, all right?

Thank you.

Everyone, thank you for being with us. Make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and we can keep growing.

I love you all.

I know, I know, I know.

I know, I know. I wasted 2 years of my fucking life.

I know. Come on, let me walk you back.

Oh my God.

Let's get you some water.

I feel fucking dumb.

No, you don't feel dumb.

Oh my God.

You made that choice. This is for you. She says she doesn't want it. She said she's done. I know you came on here, but everything that has been exhibited is clearly showing that this is a toxic relationship and she's just at her wit's end. I know your intention was to come out here and solve it, and I wish that I could have helped that, but at the end of the day, after seeing how y'all interact with each other, I want to try to help y'all save this anyway.

But she got to say everything. I didn't even get a chance to even say how I feel enough. And she just, the whole thing.—

But the thing is toxic regardless. And let me tell you something that I said out here. I said, I don't know you enough to call you a bad guy. So everything I judged was based on what I saw. So I want you to be clear. There wasn't a bashing of your name out there. There wasn't a bashing of who you are. What it was was me observing the behavior and saying that y'all don't belong together. And at the end of the day, if y'all gotta break up and you go somewhere else, y'all don't belong together. This is toxic and it's not healthy at all. It's not healthy. So that's hers. She made the final decision. She's fully, fully done. And I wish you the best of luck, man. I hope you find love. All right. Yeah.

Good luck.