I Can't Take My Toxic Family! | KARAMO

Why is your family so shattered?

It all started in 2019 when I dropped out of college. I got a really, really bad, I don't know if it's called GPA anymore, but it was a 0.75. So I wasn't doing anything. I wasn't focused on school at all. And it was for a multitude of reasons. One being boy, you know, one being just motivations lost in certain things. So when I came back in December, 'cause it was a semester when they told me that I could not come back and I was not fit.

Yes.

They said, my parents said, "Well, what's the reason? Well, what's the issues and what's going on?" And at that time they realized that I just started partaking in marijuana. Okay. So they solely focused it on, "Yeah, it's because she's doing marijuana. That's why she's not gonna be a baseball girl." Why are you doing marijuana?

Okay, got it.

She got accepted to 13 colleges, so it can't be she's dumb, it has to be something influencing her mind.

Got it.

You know? So they just put it to that.

Got it. So why are you so upset with your family?

Because of the way they treated me during, I guess, my trials. They should've known the type of daughter that I was from the years that they raised me, which is a stand-up girl that could turn into a stand-up woman.

Yeah. So you want them to be a little bit more supportive and think about what could be other reasons than just focusing on one, which is weed. How much weed do you think you smoke?

I smoke every day.

Okay.

I smoke every day.

Okay. What's your relationship like with your mom?

The relationship was everything that I wanted it to be when it was great. But especially now since my mom has her own trauma, I guess, with weed, like it's hard for us to even be in the same vicinity as far as this close. 'Cause let's say I'll have a lasting, like a smell over me. It will be nauseating to her. So most of the time when we're together, there's always an overlying conscience of like, am I bothering her?

Am I affecting her? It doesn't make me feel good.

Yeah. Makes you feel like constantly like you're not enough.

Yeah.

Like you have to walk on eggshells with her.

Yeah.

And compared to, The person I was and the child I was growing up, why couldn't you guys believe in me, you know?

Tell me about the day, 'cause I read this, that they dragged you out by your feet.

It was a matter that didn't even have to do with weed. It was apparently I was smart at the mouth to my father at a moment that he wasn't feeling it or he thought that I went against him or against what he said. He kind of was just in my face saying, "Stop, stop," as I continued to talk. And I'm here like, "When am I gonna be heard?" In my mind I'm saying that. So I'm just like continuing to talk. And when I continued to talk, he said, "Okay." And then he grabbed the suitcase from downstairs to bring it upstairs and said, "You're leaving. You're going to another place, whatever the case may be. You can't be here." I said, "I'm not going anywhere." And me thinking that I can, you know, go downstairs to my mom and my sister and say, "Hey," This is what he's trying to do to me off of nothing, off of him feeling like I'm being smart when really I'm just being me. I'm trying to be heard. I got looked at as if I was a ghost.

And then how did you get on your back for them to drag you on your feet?

Because my dad put his hands on me to put me out of the house.

Got it. And you fell back.

And I was fighting him. 'Cause I'm not, you know, I was pushing away, trying to get away from him. Not, you know, punching, but getting away from him. Yeah. You know, he's pulling me in, pulling me in, and that's when it got to the point where I tried to like kick him and stuff like that because he's grabbing me and I fell to the floor. That's when my sister and my dad picked me up from off the floor like, you know, like I was a felon or something intruding into their house. I'm, you know, in the backyard. My sister is pushing her hand into my throat to push me back down the stairs.

Wow. All right, well, I want everyone to take a look at something your sister Danielle has to say.

My sister Ariel and I used to be close, but then she started blaming me for all of her failures and mistakes. I haven't done anything wrong. The truth is Ariel takes issues with me because she's jealous. I'm going places in my life. I have a good job, a good education, and I get along with people, and she's stuck in the same place. She has so much anger. She starts arguments and even threatens to fight me. "What she needs to understand is that you can't blame me for your bad choices, bad behavior, and getting high all day.

I'm her older sister.

I deserve more respect, not this hateful attitude. Ariel, you need to stop this jealous, bitchy attitude and just grow up." How's it feel to hear what your sister had to say?

What would I be jealous of?

Well, I think it's time we meet your sister Danielle. And hear her side of the story. So everyone, please welcome Danielle to the show. Hi Danielle, you look beautiful as well. May I give you a hug?

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Jealous of what?

What that gave?

Girl, when I said, first of all, let's tell the truth and let's shame the devil, amen?

Let's talk about college, right?

She failed outta school. When she failed outta school.

And then.

And you, mind you, when you was at college, I called you every single day. Single night, and you didn't tell me not once that she wasn't going to school. After she got kicked out of school, I wrote the appeal for her to go back to school. I did that by myself. Then they didn't accept the appeal, so what did I do? I applied for her to go to community college afterwards. I wrote that application. And then you talking about, oh, everything happened, you got kicked out of the house for no reason. I don't— you are so disrespectful and you are so violent.

I hated weed, right? And I use the word hated because I was educated by even Ariel. By mainly me. And Danielle, I say even Ariel, Danielle and her friends and others has explained to me that, Mom, you cannot blame the substance for what happened to Ariel. Let me tell you something. Ariel is one of the most, I can't explain, talented, brilliant, beautiful minds out there.

That's why I don't got time to be playing with somebody who capping in my face.

I'm telling you, right?

So then what is the real reason then that you failed class if you're beautiful? What was the real reason that—

Yeah, what was the real reason that you failed?

What was the real reason? I was so worried about a man and what was going on with that man.

But you didn't say nothing about that.

Every single new day it was a new episode of my— I sure did, but you know what everyone else heard?

The smoke.

Nobody heard nothing.

Everyone else heard the smoke in the air.

At that time I was the only one that knew you smoked weed, Ariel. I didn't tell nobody nothing. Yeah, because I— The only time they found out that you smoked weed, Ariel, was because you were smoking in the house.

And you know you're not supposed to be doing that.

I was smoking a weed pen in the house. Yes. No.

And that doesn't—

So she was smoking in the house, a weed pen.

All of a sudden, Karamo, I don't know what happened, they turn into like somebody else, right? And all of a sudden, their interest in their education fall and they just wanna chill and relax.

Take it easy.

But then when I—

But then, but listen up.

And so because of that, because of that, I didn't wanna see that for Ariel. So when I heard that Aria was smoking, of course, I was like, wait, what's going on? It started morning, she can't eat. Noon, she can't eat until she smoke. Dinner, no food.

And if she doesn't smoke, she's picking fights with everybody.

And when she doesn't smoke, she is a volcano. I'm telling you, and so—

And that was when, years ago, when I still was feeling all the pain and the hurt from me being deserted, Or now, because now deserted.

When?

Deserted.

When?

Because at the end of the day, when I was sitting there homeless.

I didn't think we deserted Ariel.

Ariel left. Ariel had a choice, right?

I had all the freedom.

Remember? Yes.

Because it's their house.

Yes.

I'm so confused.

Yes, yes.

But I'm your daughter and I'm your kid.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop smoking and take care of your schoolwork. But that's the—

Wait a second.

Stop smoking.

We love talking about, oh yeah, that's my house and that's my house.

Stop smoking.

Where else am I gonna go if I came from y'all?

My producers told me that even though you don't like that she smokes weed, when you're in Jamaica with her, you bought her weed.

No, I didn't buy her, I give her the money to purchase good.

I was afraid Ari was gonna get weed that was gonna kill her. I'm gonna put down some money so she could get the good Jamaican weed where she can just chill, right?

Even though I don't like it.

Yeah.

Do you hear me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? I was willing to come compromise my principles so that Ariel is happy.

I'm telling you, Karamo, the last day the weed was done, perhaps, or the week before.

And they about to get me tight.

Because what you're gonna do again is the same thing that I told you is what pisses me off and what makes me wanna go off and get disrespectful. Stop tying my emotions to marijuana. Stop tying my emotions to weed.

I'm not doing that.

Stop tying me to something that has nothing to do with how I feel about how y'all done me.

It's time now.

What did we do? Girl, you was not there for me, girl.

Why you take me?

Time out. When she got kicked out, I was in college.

Yeah, I got it.

I had no money. I don't have money.

I got that.

I can't move out and provide a home for her.

I don't have nothing.

I'm still living in the same house with our parents.

Girl, you can't actually do that, girl.

I'm tired of being in the middle of this.

Arielle, so you called this show. What did you hope will happen today?

I would hope that I would get different treatment.

And like I said, beautiful show, but if that was real life behind closed doors where I actually feel that love, 'cause if you showing me you doing that behind closed doors, how come when I open the damn door, I'm not seeing it?

But we not talking about the disrespect behind doors.

I'm gonna tell y'all this. There's something that kept coming up and every single one of y'all said it in different ways that this is not you anymore, Ariel. And then I also kept hearing about what's been going on. So this is not about, getting kicked out, there's some other trauma that has happened here that you don't feel supported by. And I'm not asking you to express it, but I'm almost positive there's something else because that is what has led you to feel as if I need to retreat from the person that I was before.

I was sexually assaulted when I was homeless, bro.

Okay, okay.

And when I first told 'em, it was like they ain't believe me.

Not true.

Not true.

Who didn't believe you?

Listen.

Who didn't believe you?

That's not true.

Who didn't believe you?

It's not true.

You saying I didn't believe you?

No, go ahead, Mom. Let me talk.

Let me talk.

Let Mom talk.

We offered Ariel police, rape kit, going to the hospital. Ariel refused.

I don't even wanna sit there and have to look at that man's face and what he done to me. All I wanted was to be consoling sold and crated around where my family was.

And what I got was lots of confusion. See, all of my thoughts are true. She didn't even come home. I was looking, she didn't even come home and she told me on the phone.

I said, we gotta get on this.

When she came home, I cuddled her because it happened in January and it was March.

I understand what's going on. There's a pressure of this is who I've been my entire life. And I'm exhausted. And I've been in that position where you are feeling like I have to achieve, I have to achieve. And then you get to a place where it's like, I'm exhausted. And whether or not you expressed it or not, I'm sure you were exhausted. For any young woman to get invited to 13 schools, accepted at 13 schools, you're a smart student. I just heard you say it. But then you compound that with now some other type of trauma. Now this is somebody who's saying, I don't need solutions, I need support. And not saying— I get it, I get it.

And offered to pay for therapy.

Not only that, 'cause I wanna send her.

I wanna go to therapy.

I sent her resources to go to therapy. I don't need no solution with no damn therapist. I need a solution with you. Hold on. I'm talking to him. 'Cause at the end of the day, I get therapists are for better coping mechanisms to deal with stuff.

I understand that you all are trying to be there. Y'all are hurting as well and you're trying to figure out. Sometimes people are not able to receive receive the support that we think that they need in that moment because they're still trying to process and deal with their head. And a lot of this anger, and I'm seeing how your body is shaking, I understand. There's angry, there's anger.

You ain't been through what the hell I've been through. And you got the nerve to really sit there and be like, oh yeah, I exuded all my effort for you. I exuded da da da da da. But I don't see you do half of the stuff you do for other people for me. Get outta here, bro. Like, get outta here with that, bro.

Listen, this makes sense. I'm not gonna believe that. This makes sense. Here, lemme give you a tissue too. This makes sense of why in Jamaica y'all had a conversation about sisters as boundaries. And you said, I'm doing boundaries. And she said, what the hell is there boundaries? Because she's looking for you to show up in a way right now that in your mind you're like, I'm showing up, I'm doing it.

No, I literally am. It's not in my mind.

I know, I know.

So I asked her what she wants from me.

She can't even tell me.

I'm gonna tell you again. What I wanted from you is at the end of the day, right now, you could say, "I would've moved differently back then." And I apologize countless times.

I know you can. Yeah, she doesn't need no apology.

It's been 5 years and I've apologized countless times. She doesn't need no apology.

What does apology gonna do for me? The one thing she needed is the one thing you refused to giving her.

Which is what?

She said, "I need you just to say back then you would've did things differently." Personally, I have said that to Aria several times. You felt that? So that's why you have more of a connection. Wait, wait, wait. That's why you're proud of your mom.

Wait a second, wait a second. I've said that to her several times. I would've done stuff differently. Like for example, I would've done stuff differently because I was in college fighting for myself.

And what did I say to you, Mom? Didn't I say to you that I understand, but it's not the apology that I need from you?

Right, right.

And when I do mention that stuff that happens in the past, it's not because I'm trying to throw it in your face and throw— I'm just trying to let you know that I am, because of what's happening right now, feeling back in that space.

I think one solution, the first step, is that weed has to be out the conversation. I think we can all identify that weed is not the issue here. It's not the issue at all. So weed can be out the conversation. What this is, is that she's had a traumatic moment in her life, and in spaces of where she feels like she gets back in that space, it's gonna cause anger. It takes sometimes a lot of, It takes years sometimes. If y'all really love her, it's gonna have to practice.

If.

No, no, no, not if.

I love her.

I know you know.

Deeply.

I know you do. I know you do. And I apologize for saying the word if. What I want you to know is that right now, patience is going to be the time to heal. I'm trying to make sure you know I see you and see what you've done. And I understand the frustration you have being stuck in the middle. But right now there's a lot of pain here that I think is going back Past, even now, you hear it coming out. I think there's a lot of conversation that has to be happening around how y'all both feel about the relationship y'all have had from even before this. Thank you for being honest and open. And thank you. I'm sorry that y'all are in this difficult space. Mom, you got two amazing young women and I know they can get back there because they have a strong mother right here with them. And I really do wish y'all the best of luck.

Thanks for your time.

Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, So click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.