I Have Your 6 Kids, Why Are You With Her? | KARAMO

My guest, Mandy, believes that she's become the other woman in her 20-year relationship and she has had enough. Mandy says that her boyfriend, DJ, is having an affair while Mandy is at home caring for their 6 children.

October 24th, I had actually, I was pregnant and I had a miscarriage and the miscarriage turned into a hemorrhage and almost lost my life. And he was talking to her and I didn't know about it.

What did he say when you confronted him about this affair?

He basically told me that it was over. It was over, like it's over? I didn't even know nothing about it. Like they both basically told me, oh well, you're finding out about it, but it's over. And I mean, I literally text her I looked at her and I said, I don't know who you are, but I know about this and it's done. You need to call me. I gave her my number. I said, call me like a woman. And she told me straight up, you disrespect me. I said, bitch, disrespect would have been coming down your house and whooping your ass. Not calling you as a woman that I am and saying, look, we need to talk about this He is taken.

Yes. Oh my gosh. Yeah, okay.

Wait, did you not know that?

This is right after a miscarriage.

She knew about me, but I didn't know about her. So she clearly knew.

Did y'all ever get to meet face to face?

Oh, we've met face to face a couple of times. And I literally went down her house, jumped over her fence, and she called police on me.

What were you going down there for?

To see if my man was there. Was he? No.

No, okay, good.

No.

Okay, good.

She told, he's not here.

I said, "He better not be here." So why are you begging this other woman instead of telling him?

I do tell him.

Okay.

I tell him.

Okay, and what does he say?

It's nothing going on.

What did he say of why he started to talk to this woman?

Because I made him feel like I didn't love him, I wasn't giving him attention. I just felt like, you know what, it's either you deal with it or you leave it. I've been told plenty of times that I'm the reason she's in the picture.

So have you ever thought about leaving?

I really have. I really, really have thought about leaving, but you know, it's like 2 years, like you already know another woman would've been left. Like man, this, You know, but I love him.

I have everything.

20 years is a lot. 20 years and 6 kids is a long time.

I have evolved in him.

I understand, yeah.

I don't know nobody else but him. I don't have nobody else but him and my kids.

Mm-hmm. So as you're on your way out here, what do you do?

She was texting him.

On your way out here?

Yep.

To come to the show?

And I said, why is she calling you still if you tell her that you don't want this no more? You want to, you know, you don't wanna be with this dude.

So why doesn't he just block her number or you block her number?

I said that. He said he's not blocking nobody. I don't understand that situation.

She allowed me to have sex with other women.

Oh.

So let's talk about it. Let's talk about it.

Okay.

She gave me an inch, I took a mile. I started having fun. I couldn't stop it.

Okay, hold on, 'cause that's the information. So was there a boundary set that he could have sex with other women?

No, no boundaries. If I can go out and run the train on girls, me and my homeboys, we could do all that.

You said that he could run trains on other women?

I didn't used to tell him as long as it wasn't no kissing, no nothing like that.

See, see? See?

See? Hold on, so you're saying that, you said that—

You already know men, they're gonna do what they want, so instead of him doing it behind my back, yes, yes, listen, listen, they are, they're gonna do what they want.

I was a one woman man until she pushed me out the door. She told, listen, I—

Is that true? So was he a one woman, like he only wanted to be with you and then you're the one who encouraged him to be with someone else?

I didn't really encourage him.

Did you not put him out the door?

Did you give him permission?

Did you push me out the door and tell me, "Go party, go hang with my boys"? I was no partying guy, I did nothing.

Why would you tell him to go party and to go hang with his boys?

Because he was always talking about—

Talking about when I laid my coat down so you could walk over a puddle. Talking about all that stuff. I was romantic at one time.

Yeah. You still are. How long, when did y'all meet? When did y'all meet?

2005.

2005. How old were y'all when y'all met? 'Cause 20 years. How were y'all when y'all met?

He was 15.

I was going, yeah, I was 15.

You was 15, how old were you? You were 16?

20.

You were, oh, 20. Okay.

Yes, I'm a cougar.

Okay, so hold on.

Look at him, come on.

So in my head I thought I was doing the right thing. Yeah, like what she told me to do, so I was out having fun.

Because you're saying you paid him no attention.

You didn't even—

I really didn't.

You didn't take, you took it for granted. And you told him to have sex with other women.

When this girl got in the picture and it looked like it was serious, that's when it became a problem. And she got mad 'cause she was like, oh, and she was another white girl. That's what she said. So I'm like, well, she wasn't mad when it was black girls. She said I supposed to be your only white girl.

I've been the only white girl for so many years and it's like, okay, I know his preference isn't really black girls, So white girls, it kind of like looked like, I was hurt. Like, wow, like we have all these kids. Like I wish you would have another baby with somebody else.

And she do not be in the house with my 6 kids by herself. So don't believe her 'cause I'm the best daddy in the world.

No, you are.

They would tell you that.

You are a good dad. Does he help in the picture as well?

Oh yes, he's an amazing dad. I would never say he does nothing like that.

So do you talk about the cheating and the affairs in front of the kids?

Yes, she put out kids and everything. They know about the other woman. I talk to my kids because I have nobody else to talk to.

Ooh.

I talk to my two older sons, yes I do.

How old are they?

11 and 12.

11 and 12.

We heard a lot about what's going on in this relationship. DJ, I have one question for you. Is this other woman a confidant for you?

Oh, she was there for me.

She was there for you?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, she was when I lost my brother. My brother was murdered and she wasn't there for me. She picked up the slack that, you know, she wasn't fulfilling. She was comforting me. If I was upset and crying and wanted to talk to her, she was more so worried about my brother's baby mother—

I was worried about—

More than me.

My kids and his kids and what he needs to understand at the end of the day, that was my brother too. He needed to understand how I felt about the situation.

The thing is, I'm there for you.

I know you're there for me.

But why weren't you there for him?

I was there for him.

At the darkest times. He did not allow me to. He was gone, he was at this girl's house.

And I did not know about it.

I was running around doing some crazy stuff and was getting into a lot of stuff just because of what happened to my brother.

No, mm-mm, I was in Vegas when he was in Baltimore. I couldn't be there for him.

She ain't call not one time. I wasn't with her.

I wasn't allowed to be there with him. But you ain't blame yourself.

When I wanted to be there. You ain't try.

I wasn't, I couldn't.

I ain't have nobody. No, I didn't have anybody.

I couldn't be there.

And that's the hardest thing I could do.

I was in Hagerstown.

Okay.

I had no way, he had the car.

She got a lot of excuses.

I couldn't be there for him in that situation. I couldn't be. I couldn't even be there for myself. I was crying, I was upset.

The person I depended on the most was her to be there for me when my brother died.

I couldn't be there for him. He was not in the house, he would come out the house.

And she was, that's the problem.

I didn't know nothing about this other girl or anything.

So once you found out about this other girl and you realized that she was there for him emotionally, is that when—

That hurt me because I was not allowed to be there. He would not let me kiss him, he did not stay with me when I stayed with him.

Okay, so fight for it, you just let me go.

I did fight for it.

No, you didn't. No, you didn't. You let me go. You let me wander off. That's what you did.

Yeah, you know, if I can be honest with you, from this entire thing, once we got more details, Mandy, a lot of these things that are happening in your relationship were set in motion by you. Majority of it. And there has been a mixed signal that has been sent over and over again that I can understand why choices were made by this man you've been with for 20 years. I can clearly see where you're like, well, I'm upset on this one, but I'm not upset on that one. And this one I kind of upset, but I'm not here. And this one I kind of wanted to be, I tried to be there for you, but I couldn't be there for you because I need someone there for me. There's a lot of mixed messages in there. You have been conflicted in what you've said back and forth. It's been ping pong, ping pong, ping pong. And so, And I'm not the only one that feels this and hears this. Do y'all feel this? We're strangers. And it's not to call you a bad woman or mother. You all made the choices that you wanted for your relationship. But a lot of the choices you made, it goes back and forth and it sends a confusing message. And then he's making choices that at one moment I see like you could be angry, one moment I see you could be sad, but then in the next moment I see you laughing it off. The next moment I see you smiling about it.

And that's what I gotta go through. One minute she happy.

What do you not agree with?

The next 5 minutes she's cussing me out.

He on this show.

I don't agree with the whole situation and I don't understand how it's all being put on me that I'm bad.

Nothing is being put on you.

That's how I feel about it.

You explained your side and I explained my side. She just said last week, oh, well, you know what? I wouldn't care if y'all was just friends, but y'all couldn't have sex.

Did you say that?

I told him.

Didn't you say that?

That if it was the case, because he won't never leave this girl alone. So I'm like, you know what? I don't know what else to say. So if y'all wanna be friends, I'm okay with you being friends.

So you did say that?

But I really don't want them as friends.

So, but then hold on. So this backs up. And if you don't want us to be friends. Hold on, stop right there. Because you just did what I've been saying this entire time. You just said, Yes, I told him that y'all can be friends because like this is what I'm gonna do, but I don't want you to be friends. That's mixed signals.

That's what I just told her. I told her that.

There's no he's a bad guy right now. There's no you're a bad woman. There's just really bad communication. What you need to do first of all is stand firm in your decisions and be clearer about it. If you don't want him to be with somebody, you gotta say it's done. Done, stop, point blank. You can't then say later on, well, I don't mind you being friends, I don't mind you doing this because that's where you send mixed signals.

I am firm. You should hear the things that I go through.

But I just showed you examples of right here.

She will call me and tell me things. So then block her.

Block her. Block her.

And she says I harass her.

So block her, block her, block her. And then let me tell you the second thing, if she continues on, Leave him.

I really can't deal with the fact that all this is being put on me when he's the one that started this whole entire thing.

Let me be very honest with you. I'm not putting anything on you. What I told you this entire time is to stand firm as a woman and to acknowledge how actions can lead you to a certain place.

And if she hit your phone, leave me.

He literally repeat what I'm saying.

So there's no sense even coming on the show because—

Everybody else left me and died, so you know.

Like I have no support here. I got support here.

It ain't gonna make or break me.

You do have support.

No, I don't.

But see, if you don't see this as support, then that's not because you're not ready to receive and you're not ready to grow. I'm gonna tell you that right now.

And this is people talking about support. She ain't gonna never support me in anything. I was doing music and everything.

You've checked out. I'm watching your body language. I'm watching the way you say things. I'm watching the way that even right there when you repeat it back, even though yes, I agree, you did repeat back what I said, it was still callous and insensitive. And so I'm not gonna pretend like you were not being insensitive to the woman you were with for 20 years.

I definitely do.

Well, you don't fully. You don't fully because no, because you felt hurt and you felt dismissed by her. You never felt supported by her. These are your own language. Not only when your brother died, but also in your music career and also in other parts of your life. So you don't, she feels like she's dismissed you and you feel like she's not communicating with you. So you don't fully give her the respect she deserves. I know it. And then you pull it off and she's nagging and whatever. And so because of the fact that she's giving you these mixed messages, you do get a little bit of a pass. I'm gonna say the same thing to you. You doing wrong in your own ways. [Speaker] I know. [Speaker] Good.

[Speaker] I know I do wrong.

[Speaker] I know, I know you do. I know you do. But you need to stop dragging her through the mud. And this is gonna lead me to my last and final point. Y'all got 6 kids. For you, those kids are not your friends. You understand? Those kids are not your friends. So let me just be clear right there. They are my friends. I understand that because there's no reason for an 11-year-old or a 12-year-old to be hearing the things about your relationship with your man or the things about their father. They just should not be hearing that. It's just inappropriate. It's inappropriate. It's inappropriate. And so y'all both have to do better for these children. Just leave the kids out of it. That's all I ask. I wish y'all the best of luck, all right? Good luck with everything. Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.