In this episode of Karamo’s talk‑show, host Karamo sits down with Stan and Terri, a married couple of five years, to explore why their intimacy has sharply declined. Stan describes a shift from frequent, passionate sex to occasional encounters, citing a breakdown in kissing that began after he tried to direct how Terri should kiss him. Terri attributes the change to a prior severe head injury and to unrealistic expectations formed during their long‑distance dating, which made the transition to daily cohabitation feel overwhelming. The couple admits to miscommunication, resentment, and a cycle of perceived rejection. Karamo guides them toward acknowledging each other’s needs, establishing realistic expectations (e.g., meeting in the middle on sexual frequency), improving open, non‑punitive communication, and exercising patience as they rebuild intimacy. The episode ends with both partners committing to better dialogue, with Karamo summarizing broader factors that can affect sexual desire (stress, medication, age, exhaustion) and encouraging viewers to discuss similar issues.
Chapters
So Stan and Terri have been married for 5 years. They met online and there were instant fireworks. Now after getting married, Stan says their sex life has gone from hot and heavy to almost never. He loves his wife but feels rejected by her and has asked for my help to reignite the flame in their marriage. Everyone please welcome Stan to the show. Hey. Stan, you sharp.
Thank you very much.
Oh no, you sharp. You are sharp.
Thank you guys.
Hold on, usually the ladies come out here stepping. You came out here and said, I'm not playing with her.
I had to do a little something for you, man. You be so sharp, I had to kind of try to match your fly a little bit. Appreciate it.
You know how you do it.
Appreciate it.
So, Stan, you gotta tell me, 'cause hearing this, y'all been together, when did the sex life change?
So basically it started with kissing.
Okay.
So this is what happened. One day we were getting ready to have a passionate kiss and I said, "Come here, let me show you how I want you to kiss me." Ooh, don't ever say that, man. Don't do that. And so I did that and it kind of made her, it hurt her feelings. My intent was to better the situation without offsetting the situation, but she was offended. So she blamed, my wife had a head injury prior to, she had a severe head injury, so she kind of blamed it on the head injury.
She blamed the non-kissing on you?
Yeah, so when I would go and kiss her, she would kind of, and she would say it made her dizzy or this and that, and she was having problems with her head, so I bought into it.
Okay.
Well, 2 years went by.
Yeah.
No kissing. Hmm. So now I'm starting to get into this, what is really going on? One day she just up and told me that she was upset when I told her about the kissing.
Yeah.
And she said I was offended.
After 2 years.
She said, "I was offended and that's why I blamed it on the head injury because I didn't want to," I guess she didn't wanna seem offended and it kind of offset the sex.
So how often do you now have sex?
It varies, you know.
What varies?
So we still not having sex the way I want to. So maybe once every 2 weeks, once a week. Yeah.
So you have sex once a week?
Yeah, maybe 2 weeks.
Okay.
Yeah.
Once every week and once—
I want one to two weeks.
So what do you want?
I want sex every day, every— So let me just say this.
I need to know who's in here clapping for every day.
Don't be clapping for no once a month and all that, man.
I just need to know who the freaks are in my audience, 'cause somebody—
Every day, every day.
I want to hear Terry's side of this story because I have a feeling it's a little different what Stan is saying. So help me welcome Terry to the show. Hi, Terry. Terry, you are Beautiful. Hi. Hi, my heart.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
You look gorgeous.
Thank you.
Oh.
So now y'all see why I wanted to jump on her every 5 minutes.
OK, I do see. I do see.
That's what happened, yeah.
Y'all are a fly couple. I'm just going to let y'all know that. Thank you much. Y'all are fly.
Thank you.
Yes, you're welcome.
I told them we had to get fly for this show. I told them. We couldn't play around, right?
Yeah, we couldn't play around. But we've got some things to straighten out.
Yes. So I want to know, what's your opinion on why you think you think your sex life is different?
My opinion on why our sex life is different is because there were unrealistic expectations from dating long distance to what it's like to living together. So when we were dating long distance, we were doing it like rabbits.
Yeah.
Okay, all the time. When he came, when we came and our lives merged, he wanted that same thing to happen when we were meeting once a month. And I'm like, that's not real life.
So you say you haven't kissed your husband in years, why?
Well, because I will admit I reacted like a spoiled brat. I don't know exactly what he said because my memory's not that great. I just know what it made me feel like. And the way I felt was I felt like I've been kissing since the 5th grade and I've never, no one has ever told me that it wasn't the way they want it. And so I really, I did act like a child and I stopped kissing him. I said, well, if I don't kiss the way he wants, then I won't kiss him at all. And the intimacy, I can't do it every day. I just can't. But I'm willing to meet in the middle. And when I did that, he felt rejected because I said I gotta scale back on the sex. I didn't say I don't want it. I never said I don't want you. I always wanted to keep it going, but like 2 to 3 days a week, that's what I could handle. And I think he took it like rejection. And so what he did was stop coming on to me.
I feel like most people can relate to the struggle with intimacy that you all are experiencing in long-term relationships. And I wanna actually see what my audience has to say. I'm gonna take it to the comments to see what y'all gotta say about this. Anybody has an opinion on this? Yeah?
All right, cool.
I wanna know how many of you feel like your partner wants to have sex too much? You do? You feel like your partner wants to have sex too much? I wanna get your opinion. Come over here. Because he said every day, 5 times a day. Listen, like, I can be a freak myself, but when I heard that stat, I'm like, damn.
It's like, damn.
Dang, 5 days. My gosh. So what happens with you and your partner when y'all wanna have sex?
Well, my partner's right there.
Oh, okay.
And he—
Oh, you want to— Come on down. Come on down.
Let's talk about it.
So hold on. So you, he wants to have sex all the time?
At all times.
And how do you feel about that?
I'm tired. I mean, I can relate to her because it's like, I gotta, you know, you gotta take care You gotta take care of your kids, you gotta work, you gotta clean, cook.
And so do you not understand that? Do you not feel that?
No, I understand that, but I relate to my man right here. I understand she tired, I be tired too.
Well, when I'm tired, I still could go. Right, my brother?
My brother know what time it is.
Is that the same with you, even though when you're tired? Thank y'all for sharing, I appreciate it. Is that the same for you? Even when you're tired, you can still go?
So I can relate to him because see, It's almost like a setup. It's like almost by default a setup. So because if we wouldn't have started off that way, then I would've had different expectations. But she was meeting my match, right? Every—
Once a month though.
But wait though, because see what happened was you was attacking me. So you was—
Yeah, it's like starving. It's like if you don't get water for a whole month, when you finally get some, you gonna just be guzzling it down, right? Right, right. So I wasn't seeing you for a month.
I'm still thirsty every day. I want a gallon of alkaline water. So at the end of the day, I get it. I get the fact that the distance does make you wanna have sex a lot more than if you're in a setting every single day. It just didn't change my life.
My biggest issue is what it's caused is you to pull away from me and you don't not come on to me because I'm not gonna turn you down. Anytime you want it, I'mma bust down.
It just can't be every day.
Hey, bust down. Just not every day.
Well, y'all had me laughing out there, my eyes watering up. When you said bust down, I said, okay.
That's my wife.
Okay. But the thing is, at the end of the day, you did say that communication's a breakdown. I figured that out from the beginning. And I think right now what needs to happen if y'all are gonna be able to move forward is that your rejection is coming from the fact that you're holding onto something and you're exhibiting the same behavior she exhibited to you. You hated it, she's hating it now. And in relationships, you can't punish each other if you really want intimacy to thrive. And so what I have to ask you is, she's told you directly here that she wants you, she desires you. Can you let go of that rejection for your wife?
Yes. Tell her. I will definitely let go of the rejection and I will start anew and we will start from, Right here, fresh.
And I'm gonna get a kiss? I'm gonna get a kiss and a hug?
You're gonna get everything.
Yo, he said it on TV now. Listen, I'm gonna tell y'all when I start tongue kissing you. Watch.
But this is my next thing for you, is that now that you've at least said you can release that, and it's gonna take some time because you've been practicing for the past 2 years of sort of being cut off, shut off, and saying, I'm gonna punish you. So it's gonna take some while. So there's gonna have to be patience y'all gonna have with each other. Because it just doesn't happen overnight. But then secondly, there has to be an acknowledgement on your side. I understand you said meeting in the middle would be 3 days a week. You have to understand that your expectations aren't realistic. If she's saying this is what I need, y'all have to be able to communicate and allow the communication to change the expectations week to week. Because this week I might be free from work, free from kids, and I might be a freak this week. But next week I might be overwhelmed. Can you acknowledge that?
I can definitely acknowledge that. And so I just want my wife to agree to communicate and not shut down on me so that she can convey her feelings.
Can you do that for her?
So then I can address her feelings the way they need to be addressed.
I will. And I always say that being able to communicate in a safe space is what it's gonna take for me. So I need to understand that when I come to you with my feelings that you won't kind of like shut me down by being too overbearing. "Well, well, you know what I mean?" Stop pressuring you.
Listen, so she's telling you right now, if you want more sex, she just gave you the key to unlock it. She just literally gave you the key. So if you're not getting the sex you want, it's because you're not listening to your wife.
Thank you, Karamo.
You're welcome. You helped me. You're very welcome. I'm glad that I could help you get there. Can you please kiss your wife right now?
Hey.
I love y'all.
Give me some sex, yeah. That's how I get some sex.
I love y'all. Y'all are gonna be okay. Y'all took a really major step here today. And I think what y'all did today is not only gonna help y'all, it's gonna help a lot of people. So thank you so much for being so vulnerable.
Thank you guys for having me.
You're welcome, you're welcome. You know what? I think a lot of people out there have these issues and they're afraid to talk about it. According to the National Health Service, some of the causes of decreased sex Drive or stress, medication, getting older and exhaustion. And that is just a few. So the more you know, the more you can communicate with your partner. Remember that. All right, come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and growing. I love you all. Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more. So we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.
