I Helped Raise His Kids But We're Caught In a Violent & Codependent Relationship! | KARAMO

So you started your relationship with Bryan as the family caretaker. Tell me about that.

Yeah, so he had just recently got divorced and I was moving home and he needed help, you know, with his work schedule, getting the kids to school. And we just became really close as like little best friends and family. I love his kids. And as the kids got older, he moved to Tennessee and ended up needing help after a surgery. I came over to help him.

How old are the kids?

They're 21, 17, and 14.

Okay, so they're older. Yeah. So they're no longer in the house?

No.

Okay, got it.

They were from Oregon, so they felt more comfortable going back to school there. And so, and Brian, he can't, you know, take 'em to the movies and do all the dad things he wishes he could do.

Because of his surgery? Mm-hmm. Okay.

It's been a lot.

So how has the relationship grown? How did the relationship grow, first of all?

Well, I mean, he trusts me with his life, which is his kids. And so we've always been really close and always kind of, you know, flirt, had a flirty relationship kind of. But the kids were young, he was newly single. I knew that he needed to go have his fun wild time and I stayed home with the kids. And I don't know, now that, I mean, we're around each other 24/7 too. And since we always kind of had that and the kids are older, 'cause at the time they probably wouldn't have understood.

So how long y'all been together? Or how long have you been in the house being a caretaker?

Well, since 2015. And then we had like a short break where he moved out here and I did my own thing. And when I got here in March of '22, he had his first surgery on April 1st. And then it just kind of like got closer and closer and decided like, you know, our feelings changed.

Now that the children are gone, do you still have household responsibilities?

Yeah, I do everything. Housekeeper.

Yeah, it sounds like you have all the roles.

Yeah, it's a lot. And I know he has a lot of stress as well from being off of work. He's always been like the provider for his family.

So why are you upset with Bryan?

Well, it's since we've been together, I knew that there were photos and I know guys will be guys. It's not like a huge deal to me, but I think because we're around each other so much, there's been like, heated, like arguments are escalating and he has a very loud voice sometimes. So I know he's sorry, he says things that he doesn't mean when he's upset and promises me he's like gonna stop doing those things. So it's made me feel insecure. Well, since he's in bed, like getting breakfast, lunch, and dinner served to him.

You serve him in bed?

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It's like, well, 'cause he can't walk. And so that would cause a lot of arguments in front of the kids. I don't like that.

Tell me about the pictures in the phone.

It's a lot of pictures in the phone. A lot? Yeah, and like, I know that like he's not just sitting there doing it, but like he tells me he's gonna get rid of 'em, but then they just reappear. And he's the one that called the show because he wants to prove to me that he's not doing this on purpose or like he's not like trying to hide them.

I'm not doing? But she's saying I'm doing it.

So do you have explicit photos on your phone?

To me, they're not explicit because they were just jokes. They were just joking around. I was Photoshopping, I was doing stupid things, you know? And to me, they're not explicit. To anybody else in the audience, they would probably be explicit. But they're just stupid ones of like my cousins, my brothers, and just dumb things, you know?

Got it. So then what do you think the problem is in the relationship?

The problem is the bickering constantly. We don't know how to communicate. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I feel like if I go out there to be with her on the TV, you know, like just to hang out with her, she finds a reason to be upset over that. And then if I'm in the room, then I'm getting, you know, bitched at for not doing nothing. You know, and it's like, I don't wanna be there.

Got it, makes sense. You tell my producers things escalated in August of 2023. What happened?

Well, in August, so January 2023, I had asked the gal that I, I messed with back in the day, you know, and to go on the cruise. I was going on a cruise, and, uh, April, she had wrote back and told me she couldn't go. That was it. Amy had a chance to go. I asked her if she wanted to go to the cruise. She didn't want to go. So in August 2023, I went down there, and my whole intention was just to go meet my grandkid for the first time. And so that's, that's all I was going down there for. I wasn't going down there to go party, you know, go to— but then I got accused of being at a strip club. I never was at a strip club. So I don't know where that came from. And then it's like, fast forward, I come home on the cruise and the one time I lied about like the porn, you know, I had a porn on my phone and I was embarrassed and I flipped my phone over real quick. And, but then that's when it just, I feel like it went downhill from there.

Set everything off.

Yeah.

Got it. And how do you feel about the fact that she has cameras in your room?

You know, I don't mind the cameras in the room. What I mind is the sneakiness. Like if you're gonna record me, record me with better equipment, you know, where you can see. You know, like, you know, to see that. And that's what I'm not saying that as a clowning her, you know, by no means. But I got to the point where I put cameras in my room myself so I could put 'em there. But I didn't know how to make one work.

So many times I asked to see 'em, there was nothing. It didn't work. The batteries were dead or like there was an excuse on why I couldn't see something.

Got it. So that's why you put your own in there.

It wasn't even a phone. It was like, I would like sit my camera on the dresser and he wouldn't know it was there. Got it.

Okay. Do you say hurtful things to each other?

Definitely, I have, yeah. And I'm horrible at it and I've got worse. And that's what—

Which has made me turn into that and I hate it.

That's the reason why I wrote you is because I don't like the person I'm being.

Yeah.

You know?

Well listen, it's time to unlock the phone. First we're gonna go with Amy. All right, here we go. Bryan wants to know if Amy has been communicating with her ex Amy says she has not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her phone and found that Amy is telling the truth. Bryan, you want to know if Amy has been communicating with any other men. Amy says she's not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her texts and found that Amy is telling the truth. Bryan, you want to know if Amy has any explicit photos on her phone. Aimee says she does not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her photos and found that Aimee is not telling the truth. We found 21 pages of explicit photos from your phone on Aimee's phone. So it's the photos that I guess she got from you that is on her phone. And all of these photos are nudes from Bryan's phone. Aimee has the screenshots and recording of these photos.

And that's how I feel like this is causing this to come constantly download to my phone because they're on her phone and then she's hooked up to my iCloud so they're constantly coming back and forth. And I don't, like, I don't, I don't even touch 'em.

I don't have your iCloud password. I don't have your iCloud password.

You had my iCloud. These are the photos that you've seen already that are from your phone. Thank you so much.

They're probably just stupid like joke, you know, it's like, They talking about tried it.

Like he like did like some silly Photoshop ones of like to send to his cousin.

I mean, see, I haven't seen those.

But the ones that are clearly, you know, are a joke and ones that aren't a joke, like you can tell.

Yeah, I mean there's a lot of naked women on the phone.

Wow. But there are a lot of duplicates too as well.

There's a lot of duplicates as well.

But even if you're not old, since our relationship like got to to a point where he's made me feel bad. Just get rid of it so I don't have to saw my face.

I have got rid of it though, that's the thing. And it's like—

We need an investigator to figure out why they're getting there then.

I mean, I don't, I don't, like I don't know.

Well, we can tell you that I don't think that the clouds are re-downloading these to your phone. They wouldn't mind if I asked. Yes, so that's not happening. Do you need to see the photos? No. Continue. Okay. Well, Brian, let's get to your phone. Let's see what we unlock here. Well, Amy, you want to know if Brian has any explicit photos on his phone. Brian says he does not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched his photos and found that Brian is telling the truth.

About what?

He doesn't have any new explicit photos. Amy, you wanna know if Brian has been communicating with other women. Brian says he's not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched his apps and found that Brian is not telling the truth. He has two deleted dating apps, Tinder and Happn, and was last active on Tinder in September 2023 and Happn June of 2023. And were you aware of that?

I probably went on it and checked it and then I deleted it.

Got it, okay. Amy, you wanted to know if Bryan has been on any questionable websites. Bryan says he's not. My unlock the phone investigator searched his phone and found that Bryan is not telling the truth. Bryan has been on dating profiles on 4 dating sites, including Amish Dating, Cougar Dating, Hookup Dating.

That was such a thing. Yeah, is that—

That wasn't recent though.

That wasn't recent? Okay.

No, those were such a long time ago, like just when I was wilding out.

Okay, so you know about these as well?

I didn't even, what were the other 2?

Amish Dating, Cougar Dating, Hookup Dating, and datingfish.com.

Those were just—

I don't.

Okay. Amy, you wanna know Brian has been deleting evidence from his phone. Brian says he is not. My unlock the phone investigator searched his phone and found that Brian is not telling the truth. He deleted 1,504 TextNow messages. He has also deleted one from recent contacts and one from another messaging app. Do you know about those? Okay.

No, you could tell her everything.

I know I'm, The interesting part is, to be honest with you, I feel like even if you knew what they are, it wouldn't really concern you.

I wanna know.

I know for, I'm 150% positive that it was way before me and her became even an item. And TextNow is just one of those apps that I would use to communicate with her when she's blocked or, you know, when she blocks me or something like that. I never use TextNow, I always use my phone.

Well, my producer told me that my unlock the phone investigator also found a video that they want me to see.

Brian, I said leave me the fuck alone, and look at you, keep breaking in. You fat bitch, get the fuck away from me. I am miserable because of you. Get the fuck away from me. I am in therapy. You can die and get the fuck away. This is my room. I've been here for 2 years. You can leave. Watch, I— you will be the one to go. Bring them here and watch when everything is broken from the inside.

So, so, do you two get violent?

I said fine, I don't care.

Do you two get violent?

It's gotten where the doors are broken. Yeah, it's gotten to that point where like when you yell at me, I instantly shut down and leave and walk away and I'm leaving you. I don't wanna do this no more. To the point where like I lock myself in a room and it doesn't move doors.

So I'm gonna tell you this, before I even saw that video, this only confirmed what I was about to say. You two are in a very codependent relationship. But both of you are holding onto something and getting something from each other that is completely what you're codependent to, but you're so unhealthy. And the saddest part for me is that it's breaking down both of your self-esteems. I even just watched your body language, Bryan, in that video of how you walked away. And I'm not saying you didn't say horrible things to, I'm sure that you said completely horrible things right after I heard that.

I know I'm horrible. And that's the reason I emailed you is because I wanted to—

So let me show you what just happened right there. And I appreciate you emailing me. So what I'm gonna do is try to identify the behavior for you so you can see how you can be better. You know you're horrible. See, that codependency is making you horrible. And so every time you say, I know I'm horrible, you just start to bring your self-esteem down more and more, which then makes that fear of what else could be out there bigger and bigger and you don't get out of it. And you're basically breaking yourself down every single day. You as well. You're in a cycle of making yourself feel worse.

And I feel like when I was working, you know, before the foot thing, is like everything was perfect. And then it's like ever since I've been stuck home, it's like I'm, it sucks, you know?

I get that.

And it just, it's made it worse and you know?

It's past worse now. It's past worse because to see your doors broken, to see how y'all are communicating with each other, y'all are one step away from one of y'all making a rash decision and one of y'all ending up in jail.

And I totally agree and I've told him that. I was like, either we have to go our separate ways because I feel like one of us is gonna end up in jail or her and I don't want that.

But do you have the courage for one of you to leave? That's the question.

I want to make it work. I really know, I know him and I know him before this when we're around each other. I want to make it work.

But you answered my question. You don't have the courage to leave. Do you have the courage to leave?

I got the courage to do whatever makes anybody happy. Like I would do whatever.

One more question. Do you have the courage to leave to make yourself happy?

No. I don't wanna know what life is without her, you know, 'cause I've always been around her. And you know, if we have to be friends, you know, I'd rather be friends than—

See, the thing is, is until you two stop feeling like you have to be responsible for each other, you're never gonna start learning how to be responsible for yourselves.

And I agree.

And the thing is, the thing that makes me sad about this is that, It's really truly affecting your self-esteem. I'm watching it, I'm watching it. And it breaks my heart because I see two people who used to be vibrant, who used to be happy. I still see the glimmer in both of your eyes and I see it slipping away. I really do. And it breaks my heart because you shouldn't have this. You shouldn't have this.

Yeah, I know.

You know.

It has, it's like, it makes sense when, in the fact that I've been, I'm like, I love you so much. I don't wanna take care of your feet for the rest of my life.

It makes all of it make sense to me. I'm not, again, I don't know if you've noticed, I haven't blamed one of you for being the bad person.

He's not a bad guy at all.

And you're not a bad woman either. You've just gotten to a place where you're so codependent that you're now hurting each other. You're hurting each other over and over again. Both of you have tears in your eyes.

Well, because I love him and like, I know like that's why we're like reaching out for help because like we want to like this stuff ends.

I promise you I'm giving you the best help I can. Trust me, if I thought y'all could stay together, I would give you some tips on how to do it. That is what I would do for you. So do yourselves a favor and talk about how you're going to work together and be intentional about getting out of this codependent relationship. And the step to doing that is y'all gotta separate. Notice I didn't say break up, 'cause maybe you might be able to make the love work, but it's not gonna work with you all being responsible for each other in that same way. House. I wish you both the best of luck. I'm going to talk to you some more backstage so we can really talk, but I really wish you the best of luck. Seriously.