I Know He's My Father, But His Family Rejects Me | KARAMO

Since I was a little girl, I always knew Reginald as my father. But my stepfather was the one who raised me. 15 years ago, my stepfather passed away. I was listed in his obituary as one of his children. That's when some people from Reginald's side of the family started saying I was not his child. They used his obituary as an excuse to disown me. I did not write the obituary. I didn't choose what went in there. I want a relationship with my father's side of the family, but I don't feel comfortable around them. I know some of them talking badly about me. I can feel the tension. They know I'm Reginald's child. This is BS, and I'm sick of it. I don't know how can they treat me like this. I know Reginald is my father, and I need this DNA test to prove it.

Okay, got it. Well listen, we'll talk to Nicole a little later, but first please welcome Reginald to the show so we can hear his side of the story. So have you ever had doubts about Nicole being your daughter?

Well, Karamo, I had doubts, but in my heart I believe she's mine. But in the back of my mind I have doubts, you know?

Where did those doubts stem from?

My family.

Okay.

My sisters. They believe she's not mine. And I always told my sister, yeah, that's mine. They believe she's not because my other children are lighter. And they believe, being that she's dark, she's not mine.

What kills me is, though we do not know if this is your daughter, the paternity of this, it kills me when I hear in Black families that we're still in these years still questioning someone being part of our family because of their skin tone, you know what I mean? This goes for all families of color. Like, I just, you know, we come in different shades. And the fact that that is the marker for— 'Cause at the end of the day, we know what that is. That's colorism. And yeah, so anyway, so how does, how did you first get in contact with Nicole's mother?

Well, we grew up together. And we used to play this game called high-go-hump.

I was a fast kid, I know the game.

Yeah, we used to go somewhere, you know.

We called it high-go-get.

Yeah, we played.

I told you I was fast. I ain't had no business playing nothing like that.

So, when she ended up pregnant, it was told to my mother that It might not be mine.

And who was that told to? By who?

Her mother.

By her mother.

So then when she had the baby, it was mine. So as Nicole grew up, her mother was seeing another guy that, you know, she was seeing both of us at the same time. When my mother died, she said she was taken out of the obituary. My mother's obituary. I never seen the obituary. So I don't know what happened. I don't know if my sister took her out or—

Okay. Well, from your opinion, knowing that your sister's had doubts, you probably think they might have omitted her.

Yes.

Okay then. Yeah. Okay. Has she ever heard you say that? That you think that the sisters omitted her?

No.

No, because like I said, in my heart I believe she's mine.

Yeah. Okay.

But you know, you got that nagging feeling in the back.

Yeah, well, when you've heard it for several years, since the child was born, people doubting it, it can start to play with whatever your true emotions and feelings are. Did you feel like your family got mad at you for claiming Nicole as your own?

Well, to this day, my family still feel up and down about it, you know?

Okay.

Some of my sisters believe that she's mine. Some believe that she's not mine.

Got it. Has your family ever said anything directly to Nicole about this?

Well, I have a sister, she called her auntie. My sister said, "Don't call me auntie 'cause I'm not your aunt." Well, do you think you and Nicole look alike? Well, no, I don't think we look alike.

Okay.

But you never know.

Yeah. Do your other children look alike you?

My other children look just like me.

Just like you. Okay then. So that compounded as well with what the family's saying.

Yes.

Is that little nagging feeling in the back of your head? Have you ever told Nicole about your doubts?

No, I never because I didn't wanna hurt her.

Yeah, yeah.

You know? Yeah.

If she's not mine, she's still mine.

Right.

Well, I think it's time to talk to Nicole and hear her side of the story. So everyone please welcome Nicole to the show. Hello, Nicole. How are you doing?

I'm fine.

Thank you for being here. So I need to ask you, how did you feel about what was just said? I saw you getting emotional. Here, can you give that to her for me?

It hurts.

It hurts?

Because all my life I knew that this man was my father. And for people to make him feel less of a dad to me, it bothers me. I love this man from the bottom of my heart.

Yeah.

Were you aware that he had these feelings?

No.

Yeah. And when you hear him say that he protected you and because he loved you, Does that help any knowing that like even though he had the doubts, he still tried to show up?

Yes.

Okay, yeah. So when did you first learn that people were doubting him as your father?

When my stepfather had passed away and my name was put in the obituary. I had no aware that my name was gonna be in the obituary till after the fact.

That's when you realized?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

And how's your relationship with Reginald's side of the family? I can only imagine.

Some I could deal with, but it's just one particular person I don't see eye to eye with.

Mm. Got it. Is that the aunt you're talking about?

Yes.

Mm. Okay, it looks like we're getting a ping, and it says this ping is from Reginald's sister Trudy. Is Trudy the aunt you have an issue with?

No.

It's not? Okay, well, let's hear what this aunt has to say.

My name is Trudy, Reginald's sister, and When Nicole's mother was pregnant with her, she told us that Nicole was not his child and we still don't believe that that is his child. We have never accepted Nicole into this family and we don't think that Reginald should accept her either because that is not his child.

So I gotta ask you, how does it feel hearing that?

She is one of my favorite ones.

Dad would lay my life down on the line for her.

I'm so sorry.

Just to hear her say that, I just don't want no parts. I want this test because I want to mend all these broken pieces. But now it's like, once the results come back, It still shows that he's my father. I don't want no dealings with it because I'm trying to mend the broken pieces. But how can I mend the broken pieces when all the doubt is still going?

Well, I think that there's no need to wait any longer. You have waited 42 years. 42 years. It's been 42 years. After 30 years that you have waited for the DNA truth to know if this is truly your father, especially after years of hearing people have doubts or to make you feel like a secondhand citizen in your own family. So Nicole, this is not my truth to open, it's yours. So here you go. Is there anything you wanna say to your father before, or potential father?

I just want you to tell them to leave me alone. And once that did the truth come out, they all need to call me and apologize to me. I told you!

Hold on, what does it say? I don't know what that reaction was.

Reggie was the biological father.

Oh, okay. Okay, good. I didn't know, you didn't know the reaction either, right?

OK.

All of us was there. Come back here for a minute, Karamo. Come hug your father.

OK. Yeah. It's gonna be all right. Oh, why?

Well, you all know the truth now.

You deserve this release. Let it out, Nicole. You deserve this release. You deserve this release, Nicole. Let it out. You deserve this release. Yeah, you're welcome. Take a seat for me. You're welcome. You're welcome, Nicole. Take a seat for Karamo, you deserve this release. Because what people don't realize is that just 42 years of you holding on and have to hear stuff like this and how damaging that is to the self-esteem of a young woman, the self-worth of a young woman, of where do I belong? You know, you said outta your own mouth, I came, I wanted to do this because I wanted to mend the broken pieces. But I have to tell you that is not your job. As a child, it has never been your job to mend the broken pieces of adults who decided to shatter a family that didn't need to be shattered.

But they know already. They said, "You're going there over the bitch who had me." I know, I know.

The childness and spitefulness of those adults is shameful. And you are very right, you are owed an apology. Now what I do know your father is going to do because of hearing his character throughout your life, I know he will support you in getting that apology. And for all those individuals in the family who have watched this, I want you to see these tears and see this is where us as adults, when we gossip, when we do things, how it affects children. And this is the result. And this is why we have to do better as adults when children are involved. But I truly believe your father's gonna help protect your peace. So I believe you're gonna get it.

He always been there protecting my peace from day one.

Yeah, I believe it. I believe it. I believe it. I wish y'all the best of luck, all right? Congratulations, you got your answers, okay? You had us all there confused for a moment. I was like, "Oh no, poor baby." You had us confused. You threw that down like, "Uh-uh." But I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you got your answers, all right?

Hey, Trudy, the results is in. Nikki my child.

She your child?

Yeah. And she wants you to apologize for the message you left.

I sure will.

Nikki?

Yes?

I apologize, but I mean, your mother told us no a long time ago.

Love you, Nikki.

I love you too, Aunt Colleen.