I Lost My Mom… Then My Dad Denied Me! | KARAMO

When did your potential father start denying you?

Uh, from day one.

Day one?

I don't remember a time where he didn't deny me.

Yeah.

So it was like, the last thing I remember is like from 11 in the courtroom, him denying me to my face.

Oh wow. Okay. That sticks with you?

That sticks with me.

Yeah. So when you were in the courtroom at 11 years old, it was a custody trial or what? Were you in foster care and they were trying to see if maybe he could take you? Parental custody, what was it?

Well, my grandmother had me. She instantly took me, my mother's mother.

Okay.

So we were going through a custody battle with him either keeping his rights or giving them away. So that's what we were going through at the time. I didn't know this was my father, but I could feel it.

Yeah.

Like I was like, something drew me to him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, is this, is it him? So we locked out, we seen each other, we locked out, we didn't speak. So the only time we really, like I really heard him speak was in the courtroom. So he didn't directly send it to me. He just told the judge like, "Yeah." "I don't want it." Like, "Yeah, she can do what she needs to do." Wow.

Did you ever see him again after that?

I seen them again when I was like 15, maybe 16, at a gathering with my uncle, which is his brother.

Yeah.

And we had words, but we didn't have words. It was like, "I'm straight on you. I don't wanna deal with you." Yeah. He didn't say nothing.

He didn't say nothing. He didn't take the initiative.

Yeah, like, it was like, "You didn't, you don't really care." Mm-hmm. So why am I seeing you right now?

Do you think he resents you because of your mother's death?

Truly, I don't know, 'cause it really don't make sense to me. Why would you resent me?

Yeah. So when did you learn about another guy that could be your father?

Well, I just did 10 years in prison, so I just came home September of 2024.

Welcome home.

Appreciate it. Yeah, welcome home. So I really didn't hear about another man being my father until like recent.

Yeah. And what did they say?

They sent us this other guy, which I know who the other guy is. I don't look nothing like him though.

Yeah, yeah.

So I'm like, how could it?

Who brought that up?

I'm not even sure.

Got it, got it. So yesterday was the first time you saw your sister, Royanna, correct?

For sure, in 15 years.

In 15 years, wow. What was that like?

It was dope.

Yeah.

'Cause that's like, even though we haven't been around, we don't have like the best bond relationship because of how we got split when we were kids, it's still like, this is my sister.

Yeah, man.

You know what I'm saying?

Everyone, please welcome Royanna to the show so we can hear her side of the story. Hello. Hi, Karamo. Thank you for being here.

Thank you.

Yeah. So your brother earlier said, "I'm also mad for what he did to my sisters." Yeah. So was Roy in your life or absent?

He was in and out of my life my whole life. Like he was heavy on drugs most of my life.

Okay.

As a child.

So he would come in one minute and stay for a couple weeks, maybe about a month. And then when I come home from school, he's gone.

Got it, got it, got it. Who were you with then when he gave up on you?

His mom.

His mom, okay.

Yeah, she raised me. She adopted me when I was 12 years old.

Got it, I understand.

It's okay, it's okay.

Here you go. What's making you emotional? Hmm.

It's all right. It's all right.

Oh man. You just hear the things that went on.

Yeah, I just hate I ain't get to experience that life with my sisters.

Yeah.

And just like, I just hate what he did.

Yeah, yeah. Got it.

You gonna make me cry, stop.

Here you go.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Need another? So I know you said he was on drugs. Was he dating anyone?

He had married this lady when I had to be like maybe 5 or 6. Horrible woman.

Horrible.

How did she treat you?

She would beat us, lie about it. It was traumatic and I think that's one reason why my grandmother kind of stepped in and took care of us. Took the responsibility of trying to raise us.

Got it, understand that. Did London miss out on having Roy as a father?

I believe so, just from talking to him and a lot of stuff he has said out of anger that he didn't get the chance, he didn't get a chance to have a mom, he didn't get a chance to have a dad. So I feel like he was kind of lost.

Do you hold any animosity towards your dad?

Yeah.

You do?

Yeah, because I know me, I deal with abandonment issues a lot and like it has a strong, strong effect on me, like very strong.

In your relationships?

Yeah, oh, like I deal with it in my marriage right now.

Yeah, I understand, I understand. Well, London, we have your potential father here today, so everyone please welcome Roy to the show. Hey Roy, I'm good, sir. Thank you for being here.

What's going on?

How do you feel about what was just said?

There's a lot of things I just heard I didn't know.

Like what?

Even with Royanna and London, the point of abandonment. I didn't deny him, but I know the story.

I wanna hear your story. So I'm asking this not in judgment, but in clarification. How did you feel like you didn't deny him if you weren't in his life those years?

In the beginning, Nika came to me and told me that out her own mouth that he wasn't.

Okay.

It wasn't a possibility he may not be, it was he's not yours.

Hold on, wait, so where the possibility come from?

I have no idea where the possibility come from. Nika was maybe 3 months pregnant.

Yeah.

She came to me, We weren't together, we decided to be back together. The story was, we're together, we're gonna raise London as our own. That's been the story from the beginning.

Got it, but she told you directly that this is not your child?

She told me directly.

Okay then.

So dig this though, even after the fact that she told you that, down the line when you seeing that this kid look exactly like you, your family telling you, "Man, that's your kid, that's your kid, that's your kid." Why would you still not be like, "All right, let me see, let me see." Now 33 years later, you like, "All right, let's do a DNA test, I wanna get this done." That don't make sense to me.

Right?

But I never, I knew the story from the beginning. I was in the street, I'm not gonna lie. That's why I didn't, I was running, doing drugs. Running the street, chasing women, I was young.

That's not an excuse.

I didn't do the DNA test because of that. I was told you weren't mine. No matter what nobody say, I see a person on the street that, hey, he favors you. And he can be, he's not mine?

It don't matter.

But I was told from the door.

Your family is telling you. That doesn't mean. Your brother came and got me every day.

My brother also told me another child was mine.

Okay, that's cool, but he came and got me every day when I was a kid. I would not know nobody if it wasn't for him. At some point, you're supposed to be like, "All right, well let me see what's going on. Let me see what's going on." Like I said, I was doing me, Roy.

I was in the street.

Okay, I was doing me too. I got a 13-year-old. I just did 10 years and I still been in her life present. Every day on the phone with her, FaceTiming. And I'm out right now, I take care of her. I buy her anything she want. I'm there for her presently all the time, all the time as her daddy. Regardless of what I was doing. I used to get into full-blown arguments with my granny about you. Even if she say something bold, I would still like, "No, that's my daddy." Man, stop it. At this point, it's excuses for me. It's excuses for me.

I don't have to make excuses. That's one thing I don't have to do.

It is though. You grown, you still making 'em.

I don't have to make an excuse.

You think she talking about I was in the streets, I was doing this. That don't matter, man.

All right, I think it's time to hear from London's other sister. So everyone, please welcome Jalisa to the show.

Just to be clear, in court he did deny him. But hello.

Hey, how are you? How are you doing? Thank you.

Facts.

Let's go. Sit right here. So I'm assuming by— Thank you for being here, by the way.

Thank you.

You look great. So I'm assuming by the way that you didn't want to sit next to him, you don't have a good relationship with Roy.

I don't know him.

You don't know him? Have y'all had any interactions?

We've spoke during a time where I was trying to better understand who my mother was. But other than that, we don't communicate.

What do you wanna tell Roy?

I'm not mad at you. I'm hurt because at the end of the day, however you wanna phrase it, you were told that he possibly wasn't yours, he's a kid. And he's still a kid sitting on this stage. He's your kid. So as the adults in that situation, regardless of whatever was said, you shoulda took the accountability. And if you had doubts, you coulda got a DNA test in the beginning. Why are we here 33 years later? 33. That's not fair for him. And you gon', and it's gon' be okay. It's gonna be okay. But I just want you to see what this has done to him emotionally and mentally.

Yeah.

For a grown man, 33 years old, men don't cry like this. For him to sit on this stage and cry like this, he's in a vulnerable state. And for you to sit there and not even have any type of emotional connection to him, that is delusional.

London, in this envelope is the DNA truth you've waited 33 years for. This is not my truth to open. This is yours. So here we go.

I ain't even gonna lie to you, right? Like, I wanna open it, but I don't want— I want him to open it though. Like, 'cause this for him too. You know what I'm saying? So like, this on—

I understand that.

You know what I'm saying? If that's what he wanna do, this on him.

Can we open it together?

Y'all wanna come up here?

I'll just let you open it. I'll let you open it. I'm gonna let you. I'm gonna let— that's for you.

Whatever it is saying, I'm still here. Whether you want me here or not, if you feel like you want me here, I'm here. London, Roy, you are the biological father.

I see you breathing. It's the eye relief.

It's okay. You got this.

You got this.

You good. Roy, is there anything you wanna say in this moment? You now have confidence.

I know he's angry at me. I apologize because I didn't know. I'm here for him.

I'm sorry.

Like I said, if he want to build a relationship with me, I'm here. Yeah.

So I wanna guide you in something because one of the language that you just said, though the intention was good, is misguided. It's not if he wants to build a relationship. Everything that's going to go from this point on is your actions, your work. So you want to build a relationship and you're gonna do everything. Yes, I do. Because that's gonna be the only thing that's gonna let him know that he can trust that maybe we can get to see eye to eye. So it's not about him because he's gonna have his pain, his hurt, and he's gonna need you to say, even through this pain and hurt, I'm still gonna show up for you. Because the little boy that was in him, like I acknowledged within you, needed someone to reach out and say, I'm yours, you're mine, I'm here for you. So in this moment, I think a lot of times parents say, you know what, if he wanna reach out, I'm here. It's the opposite. You gotta reach out. You gotta hit him up every day. You gotta let him know you're there. That's the only thing that will help mend that and heal him. And inadvertently, I'm gonna tell you this, it will start to heal you as well. The action of you reaching out, you calling, it's not about the sorries anymore. It's now about, "I'm gonna show up. Even if you don't call me, I'm still gonna call you. Even if I come to your house and I invite you somewhere and you don't wanna let me in, I'm still gonna show up." Because what you're doing is all those years when he felt abandoned, you're saying to him now, "I'm gonna reverse that through action." And I promise you, it will heal him. You create that pattern with him. Then you create that pattern with her, it will start to heal this family. But it's not if he wants it, it's your job now. Does that work? Yes. London, how you feeling?

I ain't think it was gonna affect me like how it affected me.

Yeah.

I'm not a big crier, you know, but it's a sigh of relief.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Because I already felt like that, but when the questions got through, it started making me question it.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? So like, it's a gift and a curse. Like, it is.

[Speaker] Yeah.

I think it's more of a gift because what you needed was you needed to have your identity. You need to know where you came from. In your entire life, everyone's questioned that. And so now you know who you are. You know these are your sisters. You know that is your father. And even though that was broken, he can do the work to heal it. And you deserve that work to be done. [Speaker] Most definitely. [Speaker] You deserve that work to be done. You deserve every bit of it. Like you said earlier, I don't need a father anymore, but it is up to you to be his dad.

Yeah.

And that's so important. Anything you wanna say to him outside of I'm sorry? Nah.

I'm sorry. I never knew. I'm sorry.

Let's try, all right?

I see the emotion coming up now for you. Here you go. Y'all took a big first step here. I think the action can happen. Here you go, love. Big first step. Big first step. When you said earlier you had changed, man, I saw it. And I think that you now have decided to go to work for these kids.