I Never Knew My Family, Are You My Sister? | KARAMO

Today, James is hoping that the DNA test will link him to a woman who could be his sister. Hey, please everyone help me welcome James to the show. James, you are fly, brother. You are fly.

How you doing?

Let me find out you got the memo. You got the memo. Look, I see you, I see you. Listen, I give it up for fashion when somebody looks great.

Thank you.

All right. So James, for 59 years, Yeah. You did not know anyone in your family?

No.

Wow. Did you have any information on them before this?

No, just my birth certificate, which only had my last name on it, my mother's name, and potentially my father's name on it, who turns out that he wasn't my father.

Yeah.

And that's all the information that I had. And I tried to get information. The foster care system couldn't help me. Children and Family Services couldn't help me. And all the only information that I got was from vital statistics.

Yeah. I wanna go back a little bit. What was your childhood like?

So I grew up in foster care. I found out that my mother took me to a supermarket and left me there. So they turned me over to Children and Family Services in Sacramento, California. And eventually they shipped me down to Compton, California where I grew up. I was never adopted. I was just always in the foster care system. So about 15, 16 years old, it was a nightmare. It was verbally, physically, and sexually abusive.

I'm so sorry.

My foster, my guardians, I don't even call 'em my parents or mother or father. I just, I didn't have that connection with them and they never were embracive to me to tell me, you know, I love you or hugs or anything like that.

You described to my producers that you grew up with a, you know, with a street mentality. But what was it that made you decide that you wanted to change your life personally?

Well, the street, you know, of course I never joined a gang, but I fought a lot. And a lot of that stemmed from, you know, just being labeled as a foster kid. Ah, you don't have no mom, you don't have no dad. So I fought a lot. So it wasn't until because I was angry and I felt like I was a victim and I felt like the world owed me. A life that I got in trouble and in the midst of being in that trouble, I just decided, it just clicked one day, like, I don't wanna live as a victim anymore. I wanna be able to be productive. I wanna be something that people can talk about and I wanna be an overcomer. Now I just wanna be those things that, you know.

[APPLAUSE] [Speaker] You better share your testimony, all right? But your stepdaughter, we all saw your stepdaughter. She got you the ancestry kit. Yes. That started this whole journey. And we saw, I mean, such a beautiful young woman.

Yes.

And such a beautiful relationship you two have. Tell me about that DNA kit and what that moment was for you.

So she got me the DNA kit for Christmas. She was in college. So when she went off and left to go back to school, I just kind of sat it on the mantle in our home and just left it there. And because I didn't really understand how important that DNA test was. It really didn't register to me.

Well, part of that is because you healed from your own past. So you sort of like said, I'm done with this. That's not who I am anymore. I'm here now. Makes sense.

Yes, but still, there still was a sense of incompletion.

I believe that.

It wasn't until she came home from school. And so she sat me down right there and swabbed my mouth.

Okay, she said, right now we're doing this. So what happened when you got the results?

So I got the results and start seeing hits, but still even at that time, it really didn't register to me.

Yeah.

So I just left it there. Just so happened, you know, I'm also, because I'm a pastor, I'm also in the funeral business too. So I answer the phone and this lady gets on and she's asking about someone who has been deceased about 20 years. And just the questions that she was asking, She sounds like a genealogist specialist. It's exactly what she was.

Yeah, okay.

Okay. I said, cool, okay, well, I'm trying to find my family. I've been trying to find my family for years. Can you help me? And she says, well, you know, have you ever taken a DNA test? And I was like, oh yeah, I took the test already.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know? So she says, well, can I have access to your DNA? I was like, yeah, go right ahead. 3 weeks to the date, she calls me.

What did she find?

I think I found links to your family on both sides.

So were you able to connect with any of the family members that started calling and reaching out?

Yes, yes, yes. So my wife, who's very smart, shout out to my wife. So my wife, she decides to put together a Zoom for all of the people that were calling in.

Oh, wow.

So literally on my birthday, we cut on the Zoom and there's like 30 people in it. One of the dreams that I always had was I said, God, please, all I wanna do is see somebody that looks like me. Right? And so I get on this Zoom and I see people that look just like me. Look just like me. There was one guy in particular, and we're thinking like he's my first cousin, and we're talking and we're chopping it up and we can tell that we have a chemistry together. And so he says, you know what, I'm gonna take the test just to take the test. And 3 weeks pass and he calls me, he goes, James, I gotta tell you something, I gotta send you something. I'm like, all right, all right, send it to me. So he sends me a picture of his DNA results. We're not first cousins, we're brothers.

Oh wow. Wow.

Wow. And how long ago was this?

This was last November.

Last November.

Yeah. So since then we've been talking and just, I spent Thanksgiving with him with my family.

Yeah.

And we, he actually came to Cleveland. My wife came to Cleveland.

Oh, look at this. I love this. Is y'all when y'all reunited? Y'all do look alike. Hey. So let me clear something about this brother. He's from your father's side of your family.

Yes, he is.

Yes.

Yes.

And so that was a, so most of the people on that Zoom was from your father's side.

Yes.

So what happened with your mother's side of the family?

On my mother's side, I was told my mother didn't have a kid and gave it up. I didn't know how to really accept that at first. Like my father's side, I wanna have a relationship with any and all siblings, which will include my mother's side as well.

Got it.

So on my mother's side, I got a lot of resistance because they didn't believe that their mom would have another kid and nobody else know about it.

Why do you think they had doubts about you being their mother's child?

They just never saw a baby. I was a newborn when I was shipped off.

Yeah, so in their mind, they're like, "Mom was never pregnant, so—" Yeah, she wasn't pregnant.

I don't know where this guy's coming from. I don't know what he want and what's his ulterior motive and what's his agenda. I have no agenda. The only agenda that I have is literally I want to be able to love on my family, whether it be my father's side or my mother's side, and that's it. That's it, I don't want anything else.

And so today you're here to meet a potential sister from your mother's side. Yes. Got it, makes sense to me. Yes. What would this mean to you to be able to connect with that side of your family?

It will totally fill the gap that I had in my heart. And yes, I have been, I've had a lot of scars, a lot of struggles and all of that, but I just think that we can turn 'em into a symbol seed that it will grow, that I'm able to have a relationship with my mother's side of the family and my father's side of the family at the same time.

Yeah. How did you find this potential sister?

The lady that helped us, she was the one that found Chantel. Mm-hmm. And Chantel connected with me. Got it. Of course. And we've talked a couple of times, but I can tell there still was some resistance because, you know, her siblings are telling her, "No, mom didn't have no kid." You can't really fight against that because that's their truth. That's what they believe.

Are you nervous about receiving these DNA results?

Maybe a little. Mm-hmm. But I truly believe that I am that child.

James, are you ready? You ready? All right, well, let me, everyone please help me welcome Shawntel to the show. Hey, Shawntel, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

So I see you crying. How do you feel right now? I feel good.

Yeah? I feel good. I feel excellent.

Mm. So did you have any idea that your mother may have had a child, that you may have a brother, another brother?

Well, when I was younger, you know, she, I kind of heard it, you know, in passing, but I never elaborated on it 'cause I'm the baby and James was 8 years older than me, so. And everybody was telling me, you know, they never seen my mom pregnant.

So how did you find out about James?

The lady, the genealogy lady, she messaged me through Facebook. And I was like, of course, give him my number.

Yeah. Of course, give him my number. So do you believe James is your brother? Yes. You do? Yeah. Why do you believe that?

Because he looks like us and I just, I believe it.

So how did your siblings react when they found out about James?

They weren't too much saying that he wasn't our brother. They just wasn't happy with the idea, I wanna say.

So your mother has passed away? Yes. I'm very sorry about that.

She passed away in '99.

Yeah. I asked James this question earlier and I'm gonna ask you the same thing. Are you nervous about these DNA results? No.

No? 'Cause I know he my brother.

Mm, okay.

James, what does it feel like for you to hear her be so confident? It's actually absolutely priceless.

And I'm happy that at least one of my siblings on that side, you know, kind of see the light.

One of your potential siblings on that side.

Yes, potentially. And she sees the light, she sees the opportunity for us to coexist as brothers and sisters. But the bottom line is, is that DNA don't lie. You're right, yeah, you're right, yeah.

Which is why we're gonna get the results. Listen everyone, before we get to the results, James' stepdaughter, Arshana, is in the audience. I wanna meet her. So I want you to get the idea, first of all, you look beautiful, by the way. Thank you. Okay. So what gave you the idea to put how did you pull all of this together for James?

Yeah, so just hearing his story, I didn't have a dad in my life. My mom raised me, single parent. But when James came into my life, I could see how important it was to have that father figure. But James didn't have that opportunity to have a hole filled because he didn't know who his family was. And so just realizing that there was a part of him that was just, missing, I wanted to be able to give him something that made him feel just a little bit better about himself. He considers family to be so important. He takes it very, very seriously. Like, he's an amazing father. And like, it's crazy 'cause I literally was just telling him that he's such a great dad.

So what do you hope happens today?

Well, I hope that this just allows for everybody to just get the healing and the closure that they need, no matter what the results are.

Well, I can tell you one of the main reasons that I wanted to have my own show was to do this, to be able to connect families, to have healing. You know, we all have that little child in us that needs healing. And that's always been my goal within my entire career. And so I think there's no better time than now to get to the DNA results. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You ready?

I was trying to actually, I want to invite you down. I want to invite you down on the stage. This is a big moment for all of you.

You're so pretty.

Whatever's in this envelope not only affects you, but it affects you and affects you. Are you ready for this moment to have this outcome? Yes. You are? Yes. Here it goes.

Yes!

Thank God. Thank God. Thank God.

I knew it. Oh, thank you so much. I knew it.

I knew it. Here you go. That's your sister right there, confirmed.

Yeah. I knew it.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh.

This is so cool, baby. Oh, yes it is.

You got your family. Yes it is.

Yes, you do.

What I think is great now is about this moment is that it's your ability now to really know this is your family. Yeah. The hole is closed, the chapter is closed. You know now that that seed is planted. You can start growing with your family.

Well, just the opportunity to know that you can find your family no matter what. I'm so glad that God designed genealogy and DNA, you know.

But I have to tell you, I'm so happy. Thank you so much. I'm so— you're welcome. I'm so happy that you all could come on my show, on the Karamo Show, and get your answers and connect with your family. I love you all so much. I'm so happy for you all. Thank you so much. Listen, everyone, you think of this beautiful family right here, give it up. Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.