A man describes rescuing his daughter Anissa from a crack house when she was ten, despite earlier doubts about paternity. He fought for custody and raised her, emphasizing that DNA doesn't matter to his commitment as her father. He reflects on balancing strength with vulnerability as a Black father.
Chapters
This is a very special girl. The place that I found her in, I had to rescue her from. No child should have gone through it. And her mother basically exploited her for her own sickness.
Yeah.
And I don't wanna teach my daughter to be weak at any point, so I'm trying to hold it in. I didn't know you guys could see me back there. I didn't wanna come out and tell Anissa Because I'm not sure, and I didn't wanna mess up what she had going on in her life because that could've interfered in her education, you know, her dreams. And I didn't want her to look at me any different regardless of what happened, them DNA tests come out. This is my daughter, period. This is my daughter.
I gotta tell you, I know you're trying to hold it in, but your vulnerability, as a man, as a Black man, is a beautiful thing to see. You being vulnerable, like, I heard her like cry.
Has she ever really seen me cry? No, I didn't. And I don't want her to see it, but if it was me, it would hurt me too. I'm just trying to imagine if it was me on the other side and, you know, I'm all she got.
Yeah.
And regardless of what I want you to know, I don't care about them DNA tests. Okay. You belong to me. And I'm gonna take care of you regardless what. I'm sorry, don't cry. You okay?
So were you in Anissa's life prior to rescuing her from the crack house?
I mean, not really. I was young and in the beginning I didn't believe Anissa was my daughter because I found out things about her mother. Some of her friends was letting me know, well, you know, "She might not be pregnant by you because she be sleeping around, running around." And it broke my heart. I just stayed away from her after that.
So you were in a relationship with her during that time when she was being born?
Yeah, well, I thought I was. I was just being played. Yeah, but I did love her.
Yeah. Were you there when Anissa was born?
No, not in the hospital. Okay. But when I seen Anissa, and honestly, I don't wanna sound like an asshole, I was young. She was like the whitest baby ever. And I'm like, oh, hold on. I was like, that's a caucus baby or something. I got a little darker. Yeah, but she did get darker. Over the years, I was just like, nah, nah, no, no, this is not my child.
And then what switched for you? Because like she said, you were a hero. You came and rescued her. What switched? 'Cause she's 10. You were 10 when that happened?
Yeah, I was 10. Okay, so It was a lady that I knew and for some reason this lady got my number and then she called me. Actually, she called a friend of mine's and he said, "Your daughter's at this lady's house." And once I found that out, I just, I didn't even ask myself twice. I just went to get her.
Yeah.
And I never told her that. That was like the best day of my life. I couldn't be a man. I couldn't be a man again. This is when Anissa was around 10 years old. I was a little older now. So I know the difference between right and wrong. So no questions, I got my daughter. And from then on, she's just been with me. I even, you know, I took time out to even get legal custody of Anissa. And her mother didn't even fight it. She never even came to court.
