In this episode of KARAMO, host Karamo conducts a live counseling session with caller Jada, who is still co‑habiting with her recent ex‑boyfriend Mike. Jada explains that financial constraints and a lease ending in July keep her in the shared apartment, despite feeling attached and hopeful about the relationship. She reveals that she checked Mike’s phone after a gut feeling and discovered evidence of him offering money to multiple women and engaging in emotional or sexual conversations with 5‑10 other women, which she interprets as cheating. Jada also cites his heavy drinking, erratic financial behavior (giving money away, sometimes missing rent), and the use of a patronizing pet name (“Mommy”) as signs of disrespect. Karamo repeatedly challenges Jada’s narrative, urging her to confront the reality of Mike’s behavior, recognize that she is not “stuck,” and consider leaving the relationship. He emphasizes that focusing on potential rather than reality keeps her trapped, and he provides a mantra for self‑affirmation. The producers attempted to bring Mike onto the show, but he refused to appear and declined to unlock his phone, reinforcing his lack of transparency. Throughout the dialogue, Karamo delivers tough‑love advice, calling out both Jada’s enabling patterns and Mike’s immaturity, while encouraging Jada to reclaim agency and move toward independence.
Chapters
How you doing?
Shell-shocked.
Shell-shocked?
How you doing?
Nice to meet you. You said you shell-shocked?
Yeah, a little bit.
Why?
'Cause I watch you on YouTube all the time.
Okay. I appreciate the support.
No, for real.
So Jada, tell me, you said you and your ex still live together?
Yes, yes.
Why?
Well—
'Cause he's your ex.
Well, we're only recently ex. It's only been a month, but—
Oh, okay. So you still trying to do the whole, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
They don't buy it.
They talking about, I don't care. Once you an ex, what's y'all time? If you think the timeline for getting an ex out should be 1 week, raise your hand. Some say 1 week. If you think 2 weeks, raise your hand. If it's a month too long, raise your hand. They all said a month too long.
Well, you know the way the economy is, right?
Okay, listen.
So it's a matter of chaos and convenience, but it's just, I can't pull away just yet. At least not till that lease is up. The lease is up in July, but.
Got it, okay then. This sound like you still attached.
I am.
Got it. Okay. There go the truth of it. Okay. That—
I'll be real.
We not ready to let go. Okay.
No, 'cause I think I've always done this with people where I know what they can be versus what the reality is. And I just see so much good in him that I just want it to work out.
That potential will have you screwed up, girl. I tell people all the time. Okay, so why did you end the relationship originally?
So I ended it because it was just, he doesn't know how to be truthful consistently.
Okay.
So we had issues where he was just talking to other women and the level of drinking, I think, is just the main issue.
Got it. Got it, okay then. You told my producers that you went through his phone. Why?
Something just told me, check that phone. I don't like checking phones. And when I checked it, It confirmed my gut feeling.
That he was talking to other people?
Yeah.
Got it. So sorry. What has he been hiding?
I found he was offering—
Okay, it's a uh-oh.
I found he was offering women money.
Oh!
Not to do anything like, you know, sex work-wise or anything. It was just, we're struggling financially.
And you giving money away to other bitches?
Correct. Or at least I—
I mean, that's what it is, right? Like, I didn't mean to be so blunt, but. I'm over here, we trying to eat and you go over here giving money away?
Uh-uh.
No, that's not a— that's a no-no.
How can you tell me you don't wanna lose me but you're doing things to lose me?
Yeah. Okay, understand. So how many women did you catch him talking to?
About 5 to 10.
5 to 10 women. Okay, 5 to 10 women. Got it. And was that the last time you caught him being unfaithful?
No. I mean, I know we have different definitions of cheating, I think talking to people emotionally, offering them money or anything is also cheating. But the second time, he, sorry, he was also talking to women, not offering money, just having conversations. I lost it. Mm-hmm.
Is that when you damaged your own car?
That is.
Okay.
In my rage, I tried to be as sane as possible. And the sanest solution in that moment was don't mess up anyone else's stuff 'cause I'm renting. I don't want to incur damages. So damaging the car seemed like the best option at the time.
Got it. Okay then. And after you called Mike the 3rd time, what did you ask him?
I asked him if he just wanted to have an open relationship.
And what did he say?
He told me no.
He said no. And then did he ever admit to the cheating?
No, because I have to get the information out of him. It's not freely given. I feel like I have to earn it in a way.
Earn it? You have to feel like you have to earn the truth from him?
Like I'm playing mental chess with you.
Got it. Does Mike call you out your name?
No.
What does he call you?
So he has a pet name for me. He calls me Mommy.
That's not your name. It's not.
It's not. At first, you know, it felt like mamacita, like, you know, mommy, not—
No, mommy and mamacita are 2 different things, okay? Yeah. Let me just let you know. That's 2 different things. Mommy says you're a caretaker. Mamacita says, I'm gonna shimmy my shoulders a little bit. That's what mamacita says.
I mean, but that's what it gave at first.
Got it.
Because the tone was different.
Okay. Why does it upset you that he calls you that?
It makes me feel like you don't view me as a partner, you view me as your mother.
No, I hear you, I hear you. So you also mentioned you're concerned about his drinking habits, explain.
Yes, because you don't know when to stop. Mm.
So why do you wanna unlock his phone? Because you already got the evidence.
'Cause honestly, like I said, I'm not ready to let go and I just want to fix this. I want to know and understand him and understand why.
Okay. I think we've heard your side of the story and I think it's time to meet Mike. So everyone please welcome Mike to the show. My producers just told me that Mike walked off backstage and is refusing to come on the show. Do you know why?
We could do this at the house. And it would probably have worked out. I feel like both of us got things we need to work on. Not only me, I know, I know my flaws, but— Or whenever she go out at night, I be calling her, calling, texting her. No answer, no text until the next morning. She say she with her friends hanging out. I really don't think she cheating. It's just like my past. I done been through relationships where I done had females, they hang with male friends. It be guys that maybe send a message. That's why I don't trust him.
He's a very private person. I mean, even when we first got together, it took us over a year before we even like officially became Facebook friends.
Okay.
So I know this whole process and everything is very uncomfortable for him, but I've been uncomfortable for a long time.
Yeah, okay.
I just wanted him to overcome his uncomfortableness so we can sit here and talk to you because I watch you all the time and I watch the— work you do in people's lives. And I was like, I just want that for me.
Got it.
I just want him to talk to someone who's strong.
Yeah.
'Cause I know he, I mean, I can't, yeah, I just, I know he needs some strong presence and I don't think I can be that.
Yeah. Well, he clearly doesn't want that. He doesn't want advice 'cause he's made the choice to not be on the show. But we did unlock Mike's phone. So since you're here and you wanna know, Because you want transparency. And I know you said that it won't fix what's happening outside, but at least some transparency shows you a step in the right direction, correct?
Correct.
So we did unlock Mike's phone and Mike actually refused to unlock his phone. Oh, that's rude.
Okay.
So what that just lets us know is that Mike does not want to give you Transparency. Mike does not wanna show up. Mike does not wanna be there for you.
Yeah.
So I know that you brought him here for us to talk to him and see if we can pour into him, but you're the person that needs to be poured into.
Yes.
'Cause we gotta take some real, some time now. First of all, you said to me that you're looking at the potential of him. And one of the things that keeps people stuck is realizing instead of looking at potential, you need to look at reality.
Yes.
And reality is what you should be basing this relationship off of. And what reality has told you is that he doesn't respect you, that he's not gonna show up for you, that he's not gonna be transparent with you. So I don't understand where this potential is coming from if he has been showing you this is who he is. So the real question is, is that why are you not willing to face the reality?
Well, I'm kind of just stuck there for now, I guess, until—
You're not stuck. You're not stuck. How I know you're not stuck, sister, is because the man that's supposed to be your support actually always never shows up and you actually always are the one that fixes it and makes sure everything's handled. Correct? We just heard that he takes money and gives it to other people. He sometimes doesn't have rent. And who is the person that ends up finding it?
Me.
Got it. So you are not stuck. That is a false narrative you're telling yourself. You are actually more capable than he is to leave this situation. So what I'm trying to do is just point out the realities to you. Is that the reality is that there is no potential. He's showing you who he is. And the reality of it is that you actually are more capable to actually leave this and to be better without him.
Yeah.
You also kept saying, I just wanna understand him. I wanna know why, why? The why is because 2 things. He's not mature enough. Secondly, you have already trained him, hear me, You have trained him that he can do whatever he needs to you and there will be no consequences.
I don't accept responsibility for that.
Oh, there's not, that's not a possibility, that's a fact. And the reason I'm giving you this hard truth is because when you say things like, I caught his phone, I saw him doing this, he didn't gimme the rent, he kept, he made me feel unstable, and then you still say, I wanna be with you, I'm not ready to let go. That behavior trains him that there are no consequences for my action. So I can do whatever I wanna do to this woman and she will continue to take it.
That's right.
So when you wanna know the why, the why is I'm training him to know that he doesn't have to be accountable. He's not mature, but also you have to look at your responsibility. It's 2 of y'all in the relationship. Look at who you are. He is an anchor in your life. He is not someone who's lifting you up. You do get that, right?
Yeah. It just wasn't always that way.
Again, look at the reality. If there's a mantra I can give you, the next time you wanna say, but I remember how it was, or I can see what he wants to do, the thing you're gonna do is you're gonna go to your— the mirror, the closest mirror to you, and you're gonna say, girl, That is not the reality. That is your mantra. Say it with me.
That is not the reality.
But girl, but I remember you told me a little bit when he was younger, he was so sweet and he was friends.
That's not the reality.
I know, but listen, but I know you think he loves you and come on, let's talk about it. Like he loves you and he wants, you know, but I know he gave money to other girls, but he loves you, right?
It's not the reality.
You understand? You gotta do that for yourself because you're talking yourself into situations that's only hurting you.
Come here, my love.
You gotta wipe them tears, okay? This is hard. That man was a coward, couldn't even show up on stage for you.
He promised me. I thought he was gonna do it.
What he did is what he's been doing this entire time. This ain't you. The reality of who he is is this. So next time you wanna hold onto a promise or potential, what are you gonna say?
It's not the reality.
Amen.
I love you, okay?
I love you.
Make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and growing. I love you all as well.
