I Thought My Dad Was Dead, Are You My Father? | KARAMO

So when did you start looking for your parents?

Originally I started looking for biological parents when I turned 18. I grew up in foster care, so basically they had all the information for me to look for my parents when I turned 18.

All right, perfect. So did you know your mother growing up?

Actually I did, yeah. I got taken away from my mom when I was 3 for negligence. So what happened was basically she was leaving me with a babysitter and she came to pick me up and they found out that I had broken my arm in 3 places and I had burns all over me. Got it. So they took me to the hospital and CPS took me directly from there.

Makes sense, okay. And so when did you end up finding her?

Well, she was still in my life because they gave her visitations up until I was 7.

Got it.

When I was 7, I was in counseling and she basically came to my counseling session and voluntarily signed her rights away.

Got it. Do you remember that moment? Yeah, I do.

I remember up until like the, I remember the smell of the office still. And like, I remember playing with like this little zen garden that the counselor had. So I literally remember that day like it was yesterday.

Got it. How was your relationship when you first connected?

It was really bad. I spent a lot more time with other family members versus her. Just, I avoided her like a plague.

Yeah, makes sense. So what was your life like after your mother signed over her rights?

Well, when I was, I was adopted after that. Unfortunately, the father had passed away and I was closer to him than I was to the adoptive mother. So when that happened, I just kind of went out on a rampage and indulged in some delinquent behaviors.

Got it.

It just was too much for her, which understandably, that's a lot to deal with when you have like other kids. So after that, I ended up just going back into foster care and I was in and out of foster care until we, other things like that.

When did they ask you to go back in foster care?

1999.

1999.

I was 9.

9 years old.

Yeah.

Okay.

I was 9 years old.

And you just went in and out of foster?

Yeah, I was in and out of foster homes, in and out of juvie. I was in and outta treatment because I had a lot of anger and emotional issues to deal with. So then after that, when I turned 18, I decided that I wanted to find her. Didn't know what I was gonna do if I did find her. I just wanted to find her. The paperwork that they gave me didn't have any identifying information because the adoption had been sealed. So I just went off of what I had and was searching from there. A little bit, I'd say after my 24th birthday, this girl reached out to me and she was like, "I think I may be related to you." So we started talking, kind of got to know each other, and it turned out she actually did end up being related to me. She's my half sister. And then it actually happened to be later that year, exactly on my biological mom's birthday, that we found her on Facebook.

Wow.

So she had reached out and then she gave them my information and they reached out to me.

And then how was your relationship with her when you connected?

Again, horrible. She basically told me that she didn't owe me anything. She didn't owe me an explanation. She didn't owe me anything of what was going on. Just that she had went through what she went through And that was that, and she wasn't going back.

I'm sorry to hear that, I really am.

It was kind of upsetting.

Yeah, because I think sometimes parents, and this is just for anybody out there who might be dealing with this in their own life, we forget that just because we've moved on from a situation doesn't mean our children have.

Exactly.

And it's our job and our duty as parents to give that information even if it's hard for us to explore it.

Right, now is the time that you be accountable and hold yourself for your mistakes.

Yeah. What did she tell you, what did your mother tell you about your father?

She was really adamant that my dad was this guy named Wilkie. She was just, I mean, you couldn't tell her otherwise, nothing. No, that's your dad, you know, he abandoned us, he abandoned you, just, you know, that's end of it. And when I had started searching for him, that's basically what I went off of was like, where could he have been? Like, you know.

Did you find him?

Well, I did. And unfortunately he had passed. So at that point, like the final thought in my mind was like, wow, my dad is dead. So I don't have a dad.

Got it.

So it was like, sorry.

No, no worries.

It was really hard for me because as a foster kid, I don't know, it's really important to know where you belong, to know who you belong to because you can get attached to foster parents left and right, anybody, you know, and detach just as quickly. Yeah. So it's really important to me to know where I came from, who I came from, what type of, you know, people is my family.

[Speaker:KARAMO] Yeah, yeah, you want answers.

[Speaker] Yeah.

[Speaker] 'Cause those answers inform more of who you are.

[Speaker] Right.

[Speaker] Then how did you meet Kurt?

[Speaker] After I found out that Wilkie had passed, I had asked my mom, I'm like, do you know anybody who would know of his family? So I could get in touch with his family and just see if they would run a DNA with me just to match, you know? And she was like, well, the only one who would really know anything is, Kurt. I reached out to him and I'm like, "Hey, I heard you knew my dad." He said, "Sure," and gave me some information. But at the same time, I also couldn't rule out the possibility that because my mom knew him and they had hung out together and he was around when I was little, that he could possibly be my dad as well. So I asked him. I said, "Is there any way that you could be my father?" He's like, "No, I was around after you were born." Yeah. I was like, okay, cool. Called it a day and moved on with my search. He had given me some information for family members of Wilkie. I had reached out to them. They had no clue I existed. They didn't know who I was. They knew of my mother and that was it.

So when did Curt tell you that he may be your father?

So last year my niece passed away unfortunately and I was traveling back there for her memorial. My mom was like, well, while we're there, we might as well see Kurt, you know, since he's there, so I can introduce you to my friend. So we get there the first night and we get to talking about the story of how they met and the one-night stand that happened and, you know, then he's adding up timelines in his head. I'm watching him in his head and he was like, well, you know, I did tell you that your mom, you know, I came after you were born. And I was like, right. But he was like, now that I had mentioned that I was born early, so I was born prematurely, Almost by 3 months. And he was like, well, that would make sense that you were already there when I got there because I came back around 6 or 7 months and you were literally just a baby.

Got it.

So then we were just like, and I looked at him and he looked at me and he was like, Keisha, I think I'm your dad. And I was like, um, what?

Yeah.

I didn't know really what to say on top of already dealing with the death of my niece. It was just another thing to add on to it. It was just, I was like shook in the moment and I just kind of looked at him and my mom already immediately was going off. And then all of a sudden she's looking at me and she's like, I'm so sorry. Huh? What do you mean you're sorry? So he could be my dad? And she was like, I guess, you know, yeah.

Wow. Well everyone, I think it's time to meet Kurt. So everyone please welcome Kurt to the show.

I was told from day one that she was Wookie's kid.

But you still ended up being there.

With her, because when I got with her mother, she moved in with me and she brought Keisha along with her. I had to accept, I loved her mother, so Keisha was a part of her mother, so I had to love Keisha as well. But I came here for you. I'm here for you. You know what I'm saying? I'm doing as much as I can right now. It might not be what you want right now, but honey, I'm here. I'mma always be here, even if you not my daughter. I'm gonna still be a part of your life.

When was the last time you saw her? Was it as a child?

She was 3 years old. She was taken from us. I had ended up incarcerated for something I didn't do. When I came home, all hell broke loose. I lost my daughter, my baby. I lost my other kids. I lost my place of living. I lost my job. So I wiped out everything and I still found this child. I went looking for her.

So what was your relationship like with her mom? Yeah.

Yeah, so her mom.

Both y'all smiled. Yeah, you agree.

I mean, what can you really say? Just my mom has a history and her history tends to tell for itself.

Yeah, well listen, we have a statement from Jennifer's mom, from Kisha's mom. I want y'all to take a look. She said, 35 years ago I met Curtis in a bar and had a one-night stand. Now he's talking about he's the father. After 34 years, he's saying he's the dad. Where was he when she was in foster care? The man she thought was her father passed away. I just want answers and closure for my daughter.

She asked, because I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna keep it real with you. I'm gonna keep it real with you. I didn't know I was Keisha's father or considered as Keisha's father until she came up from Michigan to see me in Wisconsin. When she came up to see me, she was talking to me about Keisha being early. And I said, well, wait a minute, Keisha. If you came early, that's 6 months when I came back to Wisconsin and I met you and me and your mama was meeting because that wasn't just no one night stand. You know what I'm saying? Every time I come in town, I would see this woman and we end up sleeping together. So I'm not slow in any kind of way. But when I seen that, you know what I'm saying? When I seen that, When I see that there was a gap, that it was a possibility that you were conceived and you came in early. When she said that, that's when I said, "I might be your father." And that's holding accountability to the utmost.

Yes, I agree.

I agree.

I mean, from what I'm hearing on this story, you have been stepping up and being true and being true to being a man from the beginning. When you dated her mother, You were there, I understand why you would have to walk away if everyone's telling you, even the mother's saying this other guy's the father. Of course you're not gonna be arrayed, you know what I mean? I understand now why you wouldn't have searched for her.

I don't care what that piece of paper's saying. I started off as your stepfather and I'm gonna always love you. If I am your father, we got a lot of catching up to do and it don't matter if you're not, you're still my daughter. So that's up to you. If you wanna keep on searching, that's up to you, but in my eyes, You will always be a part of my life and that's something that I plan on being here for a long time, so get used to it.

I know you said—

I love you so much.

This is your truth to open. Are you ready for this?

No. Well, you gotta be ready for it.

No.

We're here to support you.

You here 'cause somebody didn't wanna take a DNA test in the first place.

Well, you know how it is.

I'm just really nervous to read this. It's like life-changing. This is something I've been waiting 35 years for almost.

Yeah.

I love you.

What did it say?

It says Kurt is not your biological father.

That don't make damn— I don't make no damn sense, man.

I'm very sorry, Jennifer.

Oh my God.

Karamo, I don't know what to say.

I will tell you, even in this moment, I know you've been searching for these answers. The bright light is in this moment that can feel dark, is that the support and love that he's already pledged and telling you that it's not gonna change.

It's not gonna change.

It's something that I'm sure you've heard a million times. There's a family we are born into and the family we make. And this is an opportunity for you to continue to grow this family you make. And that doesn't take away from the fact that you want the answers and you deserve the answers. So I don't want you to think that, but at least there's support for you. What's going through your mind right now?

I'm just kind of shook because like we have similar like physical features. Like I know you guys saw Christina. I look like Christina. So I just, you know, I kind of went on that train that like everybody said we looked alike. We have, so you know, I just kind of fell into that.

Yeah. I will tell you this. It's a beautiful thing that you have someone here who loves you regardless. And I wanna just make sure at least as you're searching for that answer, you know this. I mean, you heard your sister, that's still your sister. She loves you. She wants to be with you. So you have family that is always gonna include you. You know what I mean? Anything you wanna say, Kirk?

She's still my daughter. It never stopped.

Yeah.

I don't know, I'm kind of speechless right now.

Yeah, you can move closer to your daughter.

I'm speechless and I'm waiting, I was waiting to, I planned some celebration kind of stuff for me and her right now, but it ain't like it's over, you know, we still got life. She's still gonna be loved regardless.

Yeah. So do you think there's a strong chance could be Wilkie?

No, I don't.

You don't? All right, well listen, if there's any, you know, we'll still try for Wilkie. If there's any information you have, I wanna just be a resource for you that we can, because we can call, we can track down people. We have the money and the resources to do that for you that I know can sometimes become overwhelming. So please lean on me, lean on us here at the Karamo Show, and we will support you in any way we can. All right? Because we want you to get your answers.

All right?

All right, well good luck to you both.

All right?

And thanks for being here to share your story. No problem. Of course. Yeah, you're welcome.