I Thought My Dad Was Dead, Are You My Real Father? | KARAMO

Tell me how you first met Gregory.

Oh man, 8-year-old little girl. Yeah. Nosy in the window. I see a white limousine outside.

A limo?

A white limo. So I go downstairs and I see this guy standing at the door in a white suit, but he lights up, "Oh my God." And I walk down the stairs. He picks me up like outta pappy. And it was like, "Huh?" You know, he's cradling me and I'm looking at me, you know, put me down. He put me down, he gave me $5 and he's like, you know, so persistent that he was my dad. But at that moment, Him and my mom exchanged words, he left.

Wow.

And that was that.

Got it. So, and so this has to be shocking because you had just lost the man that you thought was your father. And then essentially here comes this man like a white knight in a white limousine, in a white suit, coming to say, I'm your dad, here to sort of save the day. But that had to have been uncomfortable.

It was very uncomfortable, you know, as a little girl with these displaced emotions of not even knowing what grieving was.

Yeah, of course.

And then, Being a daddy girl, you know, and it was just like, okay, my daddy's gone and now you're saying you're my dad and I've never seen you before. So it was very awkward.

Got it. How was your relationship with that man after that, Gregory?

After, I didn't see him for a while. Of course I was a kid so I could only see so much being 8. But by the time 14 came, I was evil to him. You know, very evil. You're not my dad, leave me alone. Stop bothering me.

Got it. 'Cause he was still trying to reach you and trying to have a relationship.

He was persistent.

So you said that when Gregory showed up at the house that he and your mother had an argument. You don't remember what they were arguing about?

I don't remember what they was arguing about. I just remember he handed me $5, she snatched it back and gave him back the money.

Why she take away your money?

I don't know why she took the money back. 'Cause as a kid it was like, I wanted my $5. You had like a little $5. Yeah, but I don't know why, but she definitely did. It went from there.

Got it, okay. And what reason did your mother give you for Gregory not being your father?

She just, first it was nothing ever happened. Of course, they was young, he had a little bit of money, but she was married, you know, as a teen marriage, you know, marriage was different back then. So it wasn't like their decision to be married, but she was, and it was just, no, he's not your dad. Your dad is this individual that you've known to be since you were born.

Got it. Got it, got it. Okay, and why do you believe that Gregory could be your dad now? Because you just said that as you got older, 14 years old, you was, you know, in your words, mean to him.

I was very mean to him.

Yeah, so why now?

The persistence, number one. I feel like the caliber of man he is, he's not gonna be as persistent in doing the things that he's done to lead up to that point. And when he dropped certain details, it made me look into, all right, let me get on the computer and see. You said he was here at this time, I did some research, I'm seeing that this man was incarcerated at this time. I did the math, the 9 months add up here, okay, and this is 35 years and you're still saying you the dad and I got gray hair. So now it's like, let me figure this out because I need to know, not for me, but—

So he has, even through the time period where you said you were mean, he's still been persistent in saying he's your father?

I was evil, but I had the scooters as a teenager, I had the wardrobes, he bought my first car, anything that a father could do, homecoming, prom, everything. He did it.

He did it.

He did it all and did not give up. Now we're inseparable. But it's still a mystery of, my mom said you're not my dad, so you not my dad. And I just can't get past it.

Do you have a relationship with his side of the family? The man who passed, do you have a relationship with him?

I do. I do. My siblings, we're close. His sister, we're very, very close. Extremely close.

So you grew up in sort of this dual world where half of you is with the man who raised you, you're with his family, his family, you said you have siblings over there. And then there's this other side of you that is basically saying, well, you're my father. So you have two fathers, two sides of the family from your fathers.

Yes, I had to be honest with my, who I known as my dad's side of the family. Like, look, this man is saying that he's my father.

Yeah.

Don't get it twisted, they live on the same block. So I had to say something.

You had to say something.

And then at the same time is we're at family events. I'll have my, who I know is my dad, family behind me and Gigi in front of me. Hey, this is my daughter. And it's like, okay, it's awkward, you know? So I just don't.

Oh, you don't call Gregory dad? I just heard you say Gigi.

I don't call him dad. I've never called him dad. I've always called him Gigi.

Oh, you've always called him Gigi?

Mm-hmm.

And that's part of because your mother has told you that's not your father.

Yeah.

And so you're holding onto the father figure that you were told that is your father.

Absolutely.

Makes sense. If this DNA test proves that he is your father, will you call him dad today?

That's the only thing that he hasn't gotten from me. He's gotten all the other gratitude. I celebrate birthdays, Father's Days, holidays. I do it all. I make sure my daughters do it all, but we've never called him dad, granddad, any of that.

So if he's shown to be your father, would you call him dad?

I would be happy to do that. It would be awkward and different, but I absolutely, he earned it. He earned his father's stripes with me, I feel.

Yeah. Well, I think it's time to hear what Gregory has to say about all this. So everyone please welcome Gregory to the show. Oh, now I know where you got your style from.

What's up, Gregory?

Oh, oh, that's clear now. Okay, okay, I see where you got the style from. Gregory, how you doing?

I'm pretty good.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you.

How do you feel about what was just said?

Brought a tear to my eye a little bit, but—

What brought the tear to your eye?

Just to hear when she smiled and she said that, you know, she never called me dad, you know, and it kind of felt funny to her, but at the same time, I know she my daughter and I really don't care if the test come back she is or she ain't, she gonna always be my baby and it is what it is.

Yeah.

And I love the kids.

Yeah, tell me, how did you end up getting with Asia's mother?

Well, I was 12 years old and she was 16, she was married, and my stepmother's her cousin.

That's what she said, she said it was a different time, that her mother was younger.

And when I seen her, she looked like a black Pamela Green, you know what I mean? I was like, I got the hair, it is, you know? I chased her for years. I wore her down, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I finally got my opportunity and it wasn't like I wanted it, but it was what it was. And then, um, about a month later, she come to me, she goes, I'm late. I said, late for what? She was like, don't worry about it, don't worry about it.

And how old were y'all at this time?

I was about 14.

14.

And she was about 17, 18, you know.

Yeah. And, um, yeah, we're still teenagers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, most definitely. She packed up her bags and moved out, and then I seen her about a year later after she had Asia, and she let me take her. And I took her as a baby to my grandmother. And my grandmother's blind. My grandmother grabbed her head, she got a flat head like mine. And she said, my grandma started crying, she said, "This Gigi Vape." You know what I'm saying? And I was like, "Grandma saying it got to be." You know what I mean?

And then, and also let's take a moment because At this point you're 15 trying to process.

I'm 14.

14.

Yeah.

Trying to process fatherhood. You're trying to process like becoming a man. There's so much going on at that same time.

Yeah, definitely, definitely. And I was like, I told her, I said, you know, is she mine? You know what I mean? She was like, no, she ain't yours.

So from the very beginning she was denying.

From the date. And I was like, well, "Let's hook up, you know what I mean? I wanna be with you, you know what I mean?" And she was like, "You think you slick! You trying to be around me for AIDS, get out my house!" And kicked me out. So I wouldn't come over there no more, you know what I mean? And I'm like, "Okay, okay, okay, it's cool." You know what I'm saying? And I left, you know what I mean? And then every time I would, I moved to California. And when I moved back, I was in the white limo and I seen her and they was like, they were Asian. That's my stepmother. And I grabbed her and I picked her up and I held her and I went in my pocket and gave her $5. And she was so happy with her $5, she waving it in the air. And her mother snatched the $5 from her and brought it back to me. Said, "You don't give my daughter nothing. You don't give the rest of my kids stuff." I'm supposed to bring them all here? I give them some money? "We don't want nothing from you.

Get outta here." [Speaker] You 22 at this point. You rolling up in a white limo.

Yeah, I had a limo.

Can I ask you this? To go back to the moment you found her back when she was 8, was it hard to try to get close to Asia? Because she said that she was mean some of those years.

I didn't back down. I waited her mama out. I'm gonna wait her out too.

You know what I mean?

So it took a few years. It took a while. You know what I mean? So then one day she was like, okay, let's talk. What's up? And I was like, well, you know, "I'm your dad." You ain't my dad. Asia, I'm your dad.

[Speaker:KARAMO] Do you want Asia to call you dad?

[Speaker] Actually, I don't really care what she call me, as long as she know in her heart that I am her dad. You know, that's all I want her to know, that I'm her dad. I ain't going nowhere.

[Speaker] I'mma challenge that because you said you got emotional backstage when you heard that. So for a man that's been persistent and has been showing up, though you're, because what you just showed and displayed is you're protecting yourself. You're saying like, I don't know, y'all can see it. You're like, if she don't call it, she don't call me dad, it's fine. But somewhere in your heart, you would love for this girl that you've been there since day one, that you've never not denied, to be your daughter and to call you dad.

Well, I want her to be my daughter, but she can call me Gigi. She been calling me Gigi, I'm cool with that. But if she wanna call me dad, I would definitely take it. But at the same time, I want her to be comfortable.

Yeah, I know.

My priority is to not hurt her, And it's all about her. I want her to have clarity 'cause I love you. You know what I mean?

I love you too.

I mean, I love you with all my heart. You know what I mean? And you know, I want the best for you. When my daughter graduated college to be, what was it, doctorate degree? What'd you get?

A bachelor's degree.

She got a bachelor's degree, right? I was so proud.

Well, I think it's time to get to the DNA truth.

Okay.

Asia, you have waited 35 years for this truth. Gregory, you have waited 35 years for this truth. Both of you have tried your best to maintain a relationship, to be supportive, but you don't know if that is based on the truth that you all are related or just the love of saying we've been in each other's lives.

Definitely.

And I think it's time for you to get that truth, to know if this is your father. All right. This is not my truth to open. This is your truth. So here you go.

Let's see. Okay. Gregory is not your biological father.

Sorry. I'm so sorry.

We still got that relationship. I'm not going nowhere. I just needed to know—

I'm so sorry.

The actual truth of the DNA part of it. But it's not gonna change nothing. He's still in my kids' lives. He's still, you still are Gigi.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Gregory, how are you feeling in this moment? 'Cause I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

No, you don't have to cry. I'm not going nowhere. I'm not. None of that. It's okay. It's okay. Come on.

Oh yeah, I'm all right.

Yeah, I will tell you this. We all know this, but you don't need DNA to be a dad. You don't need the DNA to be a dad. And, and what I do believe, and I've always believed this, I believe I'm a man that believes in God. And I do believe that the Lord puts us in positions to do what we need to do and get what we need. And I'm thinking about a young girl that was grieving and could have grown up with no father and a young man who also was trying to figure out his own life. And having her gave you some stability. Having him gave you stability. And the support that you all needed for each other is why you had to be in each other's lives. That is not by coincidence. You don't have this bond, you don't have this love by coincidence. Because at any moment, if there was not a real connection that needed to be here, y'all would've separated.

Absolutely.

But you needed him and you needed her. For that, you will always be the best man. You will always be dad. You will always be the greatest. You will always be the greatest.

I just feel like it's okay. You gave me something that I needed and that I feel like nobody else was there to give me to where I didn't have to worry about. You filled that void of me not having something that I needed. And because of that, we in this forever. So it's okay. Wipe your tears. We gonna be okay. It's okay. It's okay.

I tell you, everyone should be lucky enough to have a Gigi in their life.

Yes, yes.

You're a great man. And I know this is hard for you. I know this is hard for you. And this is gonna take some time to grieve. And I wanna be clear, but through that grieving, I want you to also remember that there was a bigger purpose here.

You know?

Yeah, yeah. Listen, I wish y'all both the best of luck. I still know y'all gonna have a great relationship.

All right.