I Trashed My Husband’s Clothes After He Cheated! | KARAMO

My guest Samantha says she dipped her husband's clothes in oil, cut them up, and trashed everything. All because she thinks he's cheating. Thinks. Well, let's meet Samantha and hear what's going on. Everyone please welcome Samantha to the show. Hi Samantha.

Hello.

Can I have a hug?

Yes.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you as well.

Hold on. So you think he cheated, so you did the son's clothes?

No, it is not I think, I know.

Oh, you know now?

I know, I know. And I'll tell you why I know.

Okay, please.

So I get a DM from his baby mama.

Okay.

And she typically sends, she's a messy woman. Just let's leave it at that. So she sends me a message and I look at him and I say, hey, tell me what's in this message. Before I open it, he turned around, he looked at me, he said, "I had sex with her." Oh. So I turned around, so now we're fussing. We're fussing back and forth, we're going back and forth.

How long this into your marriage?

This was, it was like last year, so it was, we've been married about 3 years.

Okay, so you're well into your marriage now.

Yes.

Okay. Okay, if he said he slept with his baby mama, a cut up and an oil, okay, that makes sense now. Not really, I don't advocate for that, but. Well, that makes sense now. Okay, so what happens?

So he tends to wanna walk away in the midst of argument, I guess to, I don't know what to do, whatever he's doing. In my mind, when she walked away, I'm still mad, I'm still angry, I'm still up in it. So you left, now I'm mad. He comes back in the house, I'm still thinking, okay, now we have to finish having a conversation. He grabbed the blanket, he went on the couch, he went to sleep. I'm still upset, I'm still mad. So I went and I started cutting.

Did that make you feel better?

A little bit, yeah. Yes.

So why have you continued to stay with D'Angelo?

We've been together for so long and I've been there to help support him get to where he's at right now. So we've built this life. Like I said, I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I'm there, I'm able to be with my children.

So you're staying because of finances, got it.

Not even just finances.

No, it's finances, girl.

It's not even just finances.

I just asked you why you staying and you said, well, I help him build this life.

Because we built it together.

Financial. And then you also said because I can stay at home and I can be there for my kids, which means that he's supporting you so that you can be the mom you wanna be. Finances.

Well, I guess so.

Uh-huh, it's okay. I'm not saying that there's not love there, but I, The thing is that when I talk to couples, I always have to figure out where the fear is coming from. Because if you understand where the fear is coming from, you can figure out how to make moves that are full of love and not the fear. Okay. Well, you know what? We heard your side of the story and I don't wanna totally get down on DeAngelo. So we need to hear his side of the story. So everyone please welcome DeAngelo to the show. DeAngelo, thank you for being here.

How you doing? How you doing?

I'm good. So you gotta tell me, brother, what's going on with you and all these women?

Well, It's actually a mess of slow things. When it comes to me and my wife, she does a lot of rejecting and neglecting me, so.

Okay.

So I be needing some attention sometimes. I kind of do a lot of work, 16 hours a day.

She expressed that.

To come home and deal with arguments or the rest of the day that—

But we arguing because of the situations that you keep putting me in.

I understand that, but the position you put me in by working 16 hours to take care of everybody in the house and not get nothing in return is— Still kind of hard.

Isn't it a choice you're making to be the sole provider? Because if you're married, you can just have a conversation and say, "Hey, I want you to get back to work. I'm gonna work as well." But isn't it a choice you're making?

Yes.

Okay then. So if you're making that choice, you can't put that on her, right?

Not all of it. Not all of it.

Any of it?

Any of it.

Because it's your choice. Now I do understand your desires to not feel neglected. I do believe that sometimes men aren't able to express that they want more and they feel if they do express it that they are shut down immediately and your needs are not always met. So I do believe that. But I also have to be clear, it sounds like, and let me ask you, did the problem start or did you start feeling neglected before you cheated or after?

Before.

So the problem started before?

No, DeAngelo, he—

Yeah, and I can finish this conversation.

Week 1, week 1 of us being together. And this was before he moved down where we're at. His baby mama found me and was sending me stuff back and sending me, just sending me bunches and bunches of text messages.

Is that true? So from week 1, things were, you were kind of going back and forth between the two of you?

Not week 1, probably it was like week 3. It wasn't week 1.

Okay, so the beginning of the relationship, this other person was always in the issue?

Yeah.

Okay then. So can you see from her point of view why maybe there would be intimacy issues if from week 3, when we're building a foundation, you've allowed another woman, your child's mother, to be involved.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. I can understand that.

Okay.

What about the pepper spray anniversary?

My wife finds a crazy way to wanna remember traumatic experiences. So the way that all started out is we got into an argument over something real big. I slapped the sausage outta her hand and mistakenly hit her. I apologize for it. But that same day, I got pepper sprayed and sent on the bus to Chicago. All in the same day. And she just turned the anniversary into it.

So you didn't pepper spray, you just got pepper sprayed by—

He got pepper sprayed by me.

By you, it was you.

I pepper sprayed him.

It was her.

He was too close to me when he slapped her like sausage. It bounced up. Now, that's from my own past. You too close to me, you yelling, and I feel like now I feel threatened. So I instantly reacted. I didn't just pepper spray him. I pepper sprayed him, packed his stuff up, and then put all in within an hour span, put him on the bus. So he was on that bus with no vision.

God. You got skills.

This is crazy.

And how long into the relationship was this?

Maybe we weren't married yet, so I think it was like probably 2 years. 2 years.

It was about 2 years. And what did Samantha get you for your birthday?

Well, for 2024, she decided to remind me all the wrongdoings I had and my transgressions with my baby mama for my birthday and proceeded to tell me happy birthday at 11:57 PM.

It was still the same day.

The same, with 3 minutes left.

It was the day of your birth.

You had 24 hours.

It was the day of your birth. You were born that day, so regardless of it.

Okay, so let me just ask you point blank, why did you cheat on Samantha with your ex?

My wife wasn't giving me what I asked for. And I was providing everything you asked me to provide and I got nothing in return. If I come to you and say, "Hey, we could do this, I wanna do this, I wanna do that." If I give you everything you want, why can't I have what I want?

That's what you want, that's not what you need. Calm down, first and foremost. I would've did more if it wasn't years of you sending shit or you sending videos and so on and so forth to this exact same—

Were you sending explicit videos to your—

Yes, I was.

Yes, I was.

But when I ask my wife for something, do I get 'em? When I say, "Hey, can I get a pic?" When do I get it?

If I'm with the kids all day long, every day, all day, every day, by the time I lay down, I lay down. So I will forget. Go on, go on when they sleep. And I will forget, but in the res— I'm still—

That's what I mean. You always forget me. I'm always forgotten. I'm after everybody else. I'm after you take care of the kids. I'm after you take care of your friends. I'm after you take care of your mama. I'm after you take care of your job. I'm after everybody. Name one time you put me first.

I have a part-time husband 90% of the time.

Part-time husband that supply everything that you need?

You come in the house for 30 minutes, then you leave right back out.

What do you want for? What do you want for? Nothing. We had an agreement. I stuck to my agreement. As far as when it came to that—

I stuck to mine.

Did you?

Yes.

If you would've stuck to yours, I wouldn't be having to look at other women.

Them kids are will to— I wouldn't have to be looking for help. Them kids are will to— taken care of and you don't have to lift a finger.

The kids are well taken care of, what about me?

You're well taken care of too. D'Angelo, when you broke your leg, who was there?

I broke my leg.

Who was there?

Who?

I ended up getting back, I went back to work. When you graduated, when you went back to get your GED and you graduated, who was there? What was the only person that was there screaming for you?

My producer told me that you don't feel like texting other women is cheating.

I don't to a certain extent.

Why?

It depends on the conversation. The conversation could be anything, but once it goes to something explicit, then yes, that's cheating. But this woman here, this woman here, it don't matter what the conversation with any female, to her it automatically means I'm trying to have sex with them. No matter who it is.

And then it's cheating.

It's time to unlock your phone, D'Angelo. Samantha, you wanna know if D'Angelo is messaging any of his exes. He says he's not. My locked-up phone investigator searched his texts and found that currently, DeAngelo is telling the truth.

Salty, huh?

No, shut up.

Samantha, you wanna know if DeAngelo is receiving any explicit photos from other women. He says he's not. My locked-up phone investigator searched his photos and found that DeAngelo is currently telling the truth. Samantha, you wanna know if D'Angelo is communicating with any other women. He says he is not. My locked phone investigator searched his DMs and found that D'Angelo is currently telling the truth.

Man, what you talking about?

Currently, currently.

Oh yeah, I gotta say currently because we found the other messages. Currently. But you already know about those messages. Yeah, I found them. Yeah, so let me be clear, the currently is a key word because we found A ton of other messages that you have had. And I would say that the messages with your child's mother is inappropriate. All of them. Your entire relationship is inappropriate from what I saw. 'Cause before I came out, my investigator called me and said, "Hey, I just need to let you know that a lot of this is an inappropriate relationship." And so you're aware of it. You all go back and forth. You call each other like you love each other. You know, you say things.

I don't know about that.

You do. I don't say love, but like—

I'm about to say, I don't tell her that.

You don't tell her you love her, but it's implying like we could be together. And she replies back to you. Okay. Okay. And you had sex, so we know that the relationship is there. Yeah. Okay. I wanna ask you both, why are you staying in this? Please do not say I love him or I love her as the reason.

No, I'll go first on that. Now, she is my other half. She pushes me to the point, 'cause I used to be a victim of myself, of self-sabotage. I get to a certain point, then I just screw it all up. You know, that's kind of what happened here. But she pushes me to go that extra mile. She gives me that reason to fight. But in the same token, she's also like the biggest headache in my life. But I make it happen because it's her. This is what I want. It's not just what I need, it's what I want.

So you want her because she pushes you to be better?

Yes.

Or she pushes you. Okay, why are you in this?

I'm in this because he allowed me to honestly do what I need to do for me. I'm able to be at home and do with my children. I'm also able to take the time I need for me and my mental. So he allows me to be able to do that while I am still taking care of everything financially. So it's not a burden on me at all. So the way she—

[Speaker] No, you love her because she pushes you to be your best self and you love him because you get to do what you wanna do. Those are very separate things going both different ways. Neither of them here. Not saying that you need to break up, but I just wanna make sure you all are hearing of what's keeping you in a relationship. I asked these questions before when I've done couples counseling and I want you to hear exactly why you're staying in a relationship. And I wanna ask you, are those repeating patterns that you've done in your past? Is this actually getting you to be better? Because yes, you might financially be feeling like you're getting pushed, but in the same breath, you feel like you have a headache. You feel like you're actually committing the same self-sabotage behavior by going back to your ex. You're engaging in toxic behavior. You are not feeling as if you can have intimacy with your husband. You feel like there's no trust here. So neither of you are truly happy, but because of you feel like, well, this person's pushing me to do what I wanna do because he's allowing me to do this, I'm staying in this.

That don't sound right.

So what I'm gonna tell y'all to do is that like in this moment, I can't fix it right now, but I'm gonna tell y'all gotta have some real deep conversations outside of love of why y'all staying together. Because from my opinion, this is actually going to continue to get worse. You have to decide either I'm just gonna accept it like I already been accepting it, and not complain, or you gonna leave. Because this limbo stuff is only hurting you, okay? I'm serious. Because there's one thing to say, like, listen, I'm so hurt. And truly, when someone's hurt, they're embarrassed by it. And you're not embarrassed by the fact that he is doing stuff with his ex. You're not. You're not.

I was embarrassed to a point that I got tired. I'm tired of being embarrassed because she'll post the stuff. The things she would post.

So then let me go back to my original point. Either you make the choice to leave or you have to accept.

Understood.

I'm serious. And usually those are not choices I give everybody. So this ain't advice I'm giving everybody. This is particularly for you all. Then secondly for you, you are not allowed anymore to make your wife feel bad about the fact that you've sabotaged the intimacy in this relationship and now you're mad that she's not giving you any. And that's the truth. Now, if you really love your wife, what you should be saying is, hey, I want to find ways for us when, since we're both busy, to hold each other's hands. For me to show you that I love you. Maybe like, let's take a shower together. These are ways of saying, let's connect. Your idea, I'm not saying you haven't, I'm not saying you haven't, I'm not saying you haven't, but I'm telling you that has to be more because what I've been hearing on this stage has been a lot of, Sex, sex, sex. I work, let's get home. You not gimme sex, so I want sex with somewhere else. The choice has to be made. Either I'm going to decide to forgive so we can start to heal, or we gonna keep going through this cycle where now he gonna feel neglected another week or two, and then he gonna say, oh, let me reach out to whoever. And it's y'all gonna go through the cycle. So choices have to be made. Be thoughtful about what you're thinking and be thoughtful about what you deserve. And align, align about how y'all see your love. Because right now y'all unaligned, okay? I wish y'all the best of luck.

Thank you.

Okay, thank you. All the best of luck. All right, friends, stay with us. We'll be right back for more.