I Used to Be A Cheater So I Know My Woman's Stepping Out! | KARAMO

My guest Shonda is tired of her fiancé Steve accusing her of cheating. She wants me to unlock her phone to prove to him that she has nothing to hide. The stakes are high for this couple because Steve says he will walk away from the love of his life if he finds out she is cheating. So everyone, please welcome Shonda to the show so we can hear her side of the story. How long have you and your man been together?

Roughly since— September, but we got serious November 2021.

Got it. And how would you describe your relationship?

Karamo, I'm sorry.

No worries, no worries. This is rough for you because the accusations of cheating are just taking a toll on you.

To know that I'm not doing anything.

Yeah. And how long have these accusations been going on?

4 to 6 months.

4 to 6 months of consistent accusations and you've been together for about 16 months?

Yes.

So that's, I mean, that's quite a amount of time to be accusing someone. Why do you think he thinks you're cheating?

I put Life360 on our phone when we first got together.

That's the app where you can use to see where someone is, sort of like your location app.

I thought it started like trust, but it didn't.

It did the opposite.

Yeah, it did the complete opposite.

So my producer told me that he thinks that there was a moment you were at a restaurant and that you were on a date and he's been accusing you of that moment. Tell me about that.

Right, he was like, "Well, I tracked you and you said you were here and when I called you, I waited till you got home and you said that you were at home all day." And I was like, "No, I didn't. I didn't say I, I don't lie to you, so why would I start today?" Other than the accusations, how is the relationship?

Is it good?

Oh, yes.

So it's perfect?

It's perfect.

Yeah.

It's perfect.

So you're happy other than these 4 to 6 months when he accuses you?

Yes.

Do you trust him?

I trust him to the fullest and I just expect that in return.

Yeah, makes sense.

I trust him to the fullest. I don't see any infidelities in him. He don't have a lock on his phone, but I do. But he knows the code to my phone. I feel like if I lose my phone, they have access to it, you know? So—

So that's why you put this code on? That's why I had it.

Okay. Yeah.

Have you ever cheated on Steve with another man?

No.

Never?

Never.

Never, not once?

Not once. Not even a text.

Mm-hmm. The thing that's interesting to me about this story right now is that you're telling me he has access to your phone. So he has access to your location, he has access to your phone, So you're giving him everything that a relationship who has trust issues, you're saying, here's full transparency. Right. So where's the disconnect?

You're telling me.

Okay, girl, I guess that's why you here. I hear you.

Right.

I get it, girl, okay.

We've been together often talking and like November 27th, we've been together. So after that, it just like—

You got together November 27th?

Yeah. I mean, that's the union that we formed that bond on November 27th.

Got it, okay.

So after that, then come February, her phone don't work no more. That was last year. Now come this year, the phone don't work no more. Why it don't ring on February?

Wow, Steve.

I'm serious, your phone ain't rung 2 Februarys.

But you have access to it though.

I'm not a peeper. I'm not gonna look for something.

Okay, but it's there to see.

You went and got a marriage license. Tell me about this.

You find your soulmate, you know, you try to, okay, I'm gonna look past that.

So you went and got it because you're like, even though I have these trust issues, I'm gonna go ahead and look past it. But you didn't pick a date.

But then, but now let me go to this now. The reason I think she's cheating because of her actions. Follow the past relationships.

Okay.

Whether she's doing something or not, but her actions tell me that she's doing something.

Okay, and what are those actions?

Coming up missing.

Coming up missing.

Leaving, just don't let me know something, they'll tell me, "Why don't you look through the app?" You talking about producers, these are the exact things, reasons why you think she's a cheater. Yeah.

Because she locks her cell phone. Right. What else?

Keeps her cell phone with her. Keep her cell phone with her when she sleep. That cell phone be right there.

So she just, you said she cuffs her cell phone?

Cuff, everywhere she go, the cell phone go.

But this, so this, 'cause this is a real question. You're saying she locks her cell phone, but you have the code.

I don't have the code. This is when I asked for the code.

But she's told you the phone, the code.

Yeah, she told me the code.

And you decided not to memorize it.

Right.

But then—

I don't wanna, what I'm trying to memorize is what I'm trying to trust. If I'm trying to trust you, why would I need to memorize something I'm trying to trust you?

But you don't trust her. But you don't trust her.

Okay then, at the same time, I'm trying to trust her. I'm trying to. Yeah, I don't, but I'm trying to. So I don't wanna go peeping through a cell phone. I don't wanna be keep prying 'cause if I find something I want, then you know, it's over with.

How do you know the signs of a cheater? Is it just because—

Because I used to be a cheater.

You used to be a cheater?

I used to be the cheater now.

Okay.

I should put my cell phone, I should lock my cell phone.

Okay.

But it's all I can do.

So if I find something in this phone today, what is it? Bye. Bye? You're done?

Outta use.

You're done?

I'm gone.

You're done?

'Cause I don't have time for that. I've been through that already.

And if we don't find something in the phone today, what do you do?

I gotta kiss her feet, suck on her toes, whatever. That's what you said you wanted, right?

The moment of the truth is here. Are you ready to unlock this phone?

Let's get to it.

Okay. Is there anything that you think that I'll find in this phone?

Some words, some mess, some letters, naked pictures. It could be anything.

So you do think all that's gonna be in the phone?

Anything up in there.

Is there anything that you think that we'll find in your phone? Is there anything that you wanna say to him?

After November 2021, no.

Got it. Well, the results are in. Are you ready for this? All right, so we went through photos and also text messages in your phone. When it came to photos, we found one lewd photo of someone else's genitalia that was texted to you.

Mm-hmm, it was texted to me through my ex-best friend.

Mm, okay. The one lewd photo was sent to you by your ex-best friend, okay. How do you feel about that? Do you know about that?

No.

You did not, okay. You wanna say anything or tell her?

Yes, it was someone that she had encounters with, not me.

Okay. All right, so when it came to phone, when it came to your phone, we also have, we found 2 saved pornographic videos Sent to you as well via text.

Yep, same girl.

This is the same woman that was sending you? Yeah. So they were saved on your phone. Why didn't you delete the photos or the videos?

It was for her safety purposes, but since we're no longer friends, I just didn't think to delete them.

Mm-hmm. You know?

So now, now what if I look? What in your phone?

It's okay, but it's under her.

It wouldn't have been under her if it had been only you though. I wouldn't have looked at it like that.

Because you're saying she sent it to you?

Yeah.

I wouldn't have looked at it like that.

She sent it to me.

But you could see the text leading up to it.

I wouldn't have looked at that as somebody that, "Oh yo, open up." You could see why she sent me the text though.

She text me, you know.

So when it came to text messages, you brought that up. We found 38 text messages that are sexual in nature between you and the other person who is not Steve. And so can we get the evidence back? Now these texts went as far back as December of 2021 and you said since November, correct?

Oh, I don't remember that.

Well, we have the text.

I don't remember that.

Well, we have the text. So I'm assuming this is the same best friend. So I'm gonna let you read these texts. And I think we've highlighted the areas of these texts that you can see. Would you like to read them out loud, Shonda? Mm-hmm.

That's me.

So you're saying that these texts, you know who this is?

Yeah.

You know the woman that sent these texts? Mm-hmm. Okay, so you're aware that you and this woman have been sending these texts? Yeah. Okay, the communication. Who is this person to you?

She grew up with me.

She grew up with you. Okay then. Yeah. And so you're aware of what's in these texts?

Yeah.

Okay then. So you can't see why it could be suspicious?

Yeah.

Okay. You can figure it out. Are you okay with me reading these texts?

No, I don't. I mean, you can give it to him for his purposes, but I don't think it—

'Cause it's private, you know what I'm saying? That person, you know what I'm saying? We'll just keep it like that.

Well, the texts are asking for sexual favors and you are responding.

Yeah, I'm responding, but it's not like, It's not like what? It's not like that.

Well, it's not like you ain't cheating either.

Well, can you explain?

Same thing.

Can you explain that to him?

I can explain it because she wants—

You.

Right, just like everybody else, pretty much. I mean, he knows that though. He knows we are the most—

Nah, see. You are the most—

Okay, my question is, I understand this other person has come to you and so that explains the photos, the things that were sent to you that you did not reply to. But with the text messages, you did respond.

I responded.

You did respond continuously.

Right.

So that is where, that's where the explanation needs to happen because It's one thing to say that this person came to me, but there's another thing to respond.

Right.

So how do you explain the responding to it? Even if you're saying nothing happened, you responded to it in a way that made it seem as if something could happen.

Right, just the conversation. That's the best I could put it.

Well, it's just for him, it's not you.

It never happened. It never happened.

Well, do you feel like then you're emotionally cheating on him?

At that point, yes. At that point.

You still did it, then you'll still do it.

So have you cut contact? Well, these messages started in December.

Right, so did you find anything after that?

Yeah, they were continuous through. Yeah.

Yeah. Right.

So have you explained this to the person that you're texting to that you're in a serious relationship?

She knows.

Okay.

Yeah.

So then if she knows, then why is still this text? That was then.

Like I said, November we got serious. That happened in December. Okay, like—

November, December.

Okay, all right.

November, December, not December, November.

But it was fresh though. We were fresh.

And? What that means? So what that means?

It didn't happen.

So I should've went and slept with somebody when we fresh? But it didn't happen. That's what you saying?

I didn't sleep with nobody.

That's what I'm saying though, what you saying?

So, Shonda, what do you want to happen with this relationship? 'Cause I wanna hear your point of view. I really do wanna hear your point of view.

See, I really want this to work. Like, I—

Okay.

How? You hiding a lot.

I'm not hiding anything when you could've saw that.

How would that be?

If he could have saw it, then why wouldn't you just tell him ahead of time? And that's my—

And I did, I told him. She came at me with, and another friend, but I told him about the friend first.

You left you out.

No, I didn't. No, I didn't.

You left you out.

But did you tell him that you were also responding?

No.

It's one thing to say, okay, well I'm telling you about this person and that they're approaching me, but it's another thing to say they approached me and also responded to me.

I wanna.

Oh God. I do believe nothing physical happened. I honestly do not. Steve, how do you feel about what was found?

I feel like I've been saying all along it's a lie.

Well, she's saying that she did, you were honest and said that at that time you were emotionally cheating. Yeah. Yes. So she's admitting, she's saying now that she was emotionally cheating at that time, but there was nothing physical that happened.

Nothing.

I can give you my phone. You won't find no conversations, emotionally nothing.

Okay.

Emotionally nothing with no female. And I got 100 females in my phone that call me and text. None of them like that.

Do you wanna apologize to him for that?

I am so sorry for not telling you, but you have access to my phone.

So even though you're giving him access by not communicating the full details, as you said you didn't, you can see where the trust issues have started because of you.

Yeah.

Steve, the ball is in your court. Do you wanna stay or do you wanna go?

See, now I gotta go sit and reevaluate all this again.

So that means you wanna stay. Well, the good thing is, is that he's telling you right now that he does wanna stay. So he wants to stay and reevaluate, which means for you, be more transparent. So even though he has access to your phone, you need to talk about the details of the things that could be in your phone because he's clearly telling you he's not gonna search. Because it's one thing to say, you got access to my phone, which I almost fell for, but we didn't realize that there wasn't transparency there. So you have to be transparent. And I think the transparency will allow him to maybe grow where y'all can work it out. But until you do that, there's always gonna be this issue. I do wish you good luck because your sixth sense, the gut feeling you had to some degree was true. She admitted she emotionally cheated. Yeah. So you know. And now that you have the information, I wish you the best of luck, all right? I wish you both the best of luck. Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.