In this episode of Karamo, host Karamo mediates a heated family confrontation between Danisha and her alleged father Dennis. Danisha, who was pregnant at 14, has endured a life of drug involvement, loss of her mother and son, and a strained relationship with Dennis, whom she believes is not her biological father because he was absent from her life after age seven. Dennis acknowledges he raised Danisha only until she was about six or seven, admits to periods of drug and alcohol use, and offers apologies but repeatedly defends his past actions. Karamo repeatedly probes the emotional impact of Dennis’s absence, the importance of a DNA test for Danisha’s closure, and the need for concrete actions rather than empty expressions of love. The dialogue explores themes of abandonment, accountability, substance‑related barriers to fatherhood, grief, and the possibility of reconciliation through apologies, support for Danisha’s surviving family, and a commitment to “show up” for her. The episode ends with Dennis apologizing and promising to help Danisha grieve, while Danisha reiterates her need for tangible support and a definitive DNA result.
Chapters
So my guest, Danisha, says there is no way Dennis is her biological father. So everyone, please welcome Dennis to the show so we can hear his side of this story. Dennis, first of all, thank you for being here. So why would she say that you are not her father?
I have no idea.
None at all?
None at all. Okay then. None at all.
Do you believe you were a good father to Danisha?
Somewhat, I was. Somewhat.
Somewhat, okay. In what ways?
I was there, I was there for her. She know who I am. Okay. I raised her when she was young.
Okay, so you raised her from what age to age?
From birth to about maybe 5, 6, or 7.
Okay, so only until she was 6 or 7 you raised her?
Right.
And then you weren't there the other years?
Yeah, me and her mom got together when she was very young.
Okay, got it.
And we kind of grew up and grew apart.
And so when you two went separate ways, that was the last time you saw her?
No, I still saw her.
You still saw her?
Yeah, periodically, yeah.
Okay then, got it. How's your relationship with her now?
It's pretty good. I think it's pretty good.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
Okay then.
Ain't nobody showed up for me.
She real emotional.
I lost my mom. I felt like he was a homeboy when I lost my mom.
So why were you not there for her?
I just, like I told you, me and the mom got together, we was really, really young. Uh-huh.
I was 14, 15 and pregnant, that's no excuse.
We grew up and we grew apart.
That's no excuse.
You grow apart, you don't grow apart from your children. That's the thing, then you get with other women and have more kids.
You gotta be kidding me. Try to stay in contact, but as I told you, I was young and growing up and do—
How old were you when you had her? 17. So you were 17.
Yeah.
So by the time she was 7 when you walked out of her life, you were already in your, well into your 20s, late 20s. Yeah, I was exactly. That means between your 30s and 40s when she was matriculated to be an adult, you had choices then.
I didn't need no money.
I didn't need no money.
I didn't need nothing.
All I needed was to support him and them.
So when you say things like I was young, you actually weren't that young when you decided to stay out of her life.
But I also got involved in drugs and alcohol.
So there was drugs and alcohol involved. Other things.
Other things.
Got it.
Got it. Yeah.
Do you understand why she's upset?
I do understand why she's upset.
And how do you feel about Denisha?
Do you love her? I love her. That's my daughter. That's my daughter.
You love her? You love her?
That's your daughter?
That's my daughter. I love her.
You think we have a good relationship? I don't think so. Karamo, can I please, I don't mean to be disrespectful.
No disrespect.
How are you doing?
Nice to meet you.
I'm Denisha.
Can I please get the results before we even finish this conversation?
When was the last time you felt like he showed up for you?
I never feel like he showed up for me.
Still to this day?
Still to this day.
Okay then. And how has his absence affected you? I heard a bit earlier when you was talking about your mom.
His absence has affected me. Like I said, maybe I would've chose better men in life had he been there for me. Even if he wasn't there for me financially, you could see, a man knows a man like him. So if you wasn't there for your kids, and I have a daughter that she doesn't have a dad either, just like him. So maybe if he would've said and been in my life and said, "Oh no, you don't need him." Like me, he ain't no good for you. Let him go on now. Maybe if you would've at least did that, that would've helped too. But it was never there. The support is not there. The support is—
What do you want from your father?
I want him to support. His bloodline is losing. I have nieces and nephews that's run away. My nephew's in jail. My son is dead. His bloodline is losing, but he can run for everybody else.
Oh no, that's not the way it is. Do you think I would be here if I didn't love you? Do you think I would be here?
You love me, but do you, when it, the support and the showing up is different. You could tell me anything. A person could say love can be said anyway. It takes showing up, it takes support, it takes standing there. I ain't never need no money from you. All I needed was a dad.
I tried to be there for you.
You use excuses, drugs. Like I said, I was 14 and pregnant. I done been in and out of jail for my own drug sale.
You basically know what I've been through.
You know what I've been through. But your parents, you were born in 1950 and you had a mother and a father in your home, right?
Right.
So you know what it is to have a mother and a father and you know what it takes to be a father. I know, I know. 'Cause you had one.
Yes, I know.
So how could you not be there for your, you say you got 7 kids.
Just like I was telling Karamo, Mr. Karamo.
He seen my grandson one time.
Never bought a Christmas present in my life.
Dennis, can I ask you, where were you for the ages of 8 to 18? 'Cause those are formative years. I know you said that you and her mother grew apart, but where were you?
With his girlfriend and her kids.
No, no, no, no, no. I probably was doing my thing. I was doing drugs.
That's my whole thing. It's the point of taking accountability. We all make mistakes in life. True indeed. But take accountability that you were not there. Okay, I wasn't there.
I wasn't there.
Well, I think it's time to solve this DNA mystery. So I gotta ask you really quickly, why are the results so important to you right now?
The results are so important for me, Karamo, because I have been through hell in my 44 years. Excuse me, I'm getting emotional.
Take your time.
My name is Danisha. I am a derivative of Dennis. He named me Danisha. So for me to have been through all the things, from being pregnant at 14, I've sold drugs all my life. I've been in and out. I'm not gonna not say my part in what I've done in life. So yeah, I've made mistakes. Maybe had he been here for me, the mistakes that I've made and the men that I've chose, I may have not would've chose them.
So from your perspective, your dad wasn't there for you?
Since I was 7 years old.
Got it, okay.
I have not, I mean, we have a strained relationship and I feel like the relationship is more because my siblings and I, Come, he doesn't come for us.
Got it. So why do you think he's not your father?
He never was there. All I needed was a father and family and support and it was never there.
So because of that, you felt like he must not be yours biologically. He came. Because if he was your biological father, he would've been there.
That's exactly correct.
Got it. So now I understand why you need this truth. Well, this is your truth to open.
Mm-hmm.
There you go.
'Cause we may be, I may be back for to see if I have a daddy or not.
You got a father.
Karamo, oh well, Denisha, Dennis is your biological father. This got to be a fucking joke. I'm sorry, I don't wanna deal with this. I've been through too much shit to have to deal with this. I lost my kid. That's an excuse for me. That's an excuse for drugs, is an excuse for me because you've been clean. Drugs is an excuse. So yes, you were on drugs, but you've been clean and you still never came for us.
I still love you.
You say that, but you don't show that. We are your evil stepkids. Your stepkids you treat like your children.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, you run for them. You don't run for us. I got nieces and nephews I don't even know.
Listen, you said something earlier, Dennis, that I had to write down. You said, do you think I'd be here if I didn't love you? Right. But I need you, there's something that sometimes when I deal with people who, I call y'all old school.
Right.
Old school. I need y'all to understand that love is both a noun and a verb.
Right.
And what you're expressing is a noun. You're saying, "I love you." I do. It's a thing that I have for you.
You actually—
But what she's asking for is a verb. Action.
Action.
She's asking for action.
I understand that. I understand that.
And I know you understand it, but the thing is, is that though you understand it, what she's not feeling is it actually being implemented.
I feel like I said that.
I tried to implement it. She's not accepting it.
You feel like stepkids.
She's not accepting it.
You feel like she doesn't accept it.
I don't accept it.
I understand that.
I care for you. I care for you. I care for you too. Like how I want you to care and comfort me.
I care for you just like that.
I came to the emergency room. You ain't never been to the emergency room for me.
What is it that Dennis can do that he can commit to to say, "I'm gonna show you that I love you"?
Step up for his children, his grandchildren, his only great-grandson.
So do you need him to stand beside you?
Yes, yes.
And he find him.
Support you?
This is deep.
I understand what she's saying.
You give excuses.
What is she saying?
She's saying I need to reach out to her and ask.
For the kids. So what is very interesting about this, what is very interesting about this is, you know, you know, and you understand.
So what is the block?
They had a mother and a father.
What is the block though?
1920s and '30s they born.
It's hard. What is the block? It's hard to get past this.
The anger?
Yeah, it's hard to get past the anger.
It's not anger, Karamo.
I'm lost. The last thing I wanna do is upset her. Better, you know what I'm saying? And get to this point.
And I don't wanna upset you.
But get really emotional like this. I love him.
The interesting part is that when you feel like I'm not gonna do something so I don't upset her, it actually makes the situation worse.
Yeah, I see that now. I understand that now. I understand that. I should do, you're right, I should do.
Through her pain, she still is saying show up for me. Through her pain, she's still saying.
My mom is gone. I lost my mom and my son 4 months ago.
I was there.
You were there, but it was more like a friend to me. It wasn't a father.
This is a big step that you can take.
Okay.
When she tells you what she experienced, similar to like when her mother passed away and her son passed away.
Right.
And she says you weren't there, your response several times has always been to anything she said, "I was there." I would tell you to stop saying that.
Please?
Stop saying that. Okay. Because what happens is that now she has to deal defend her feelings. And as a child, she should not have to defend her feelings. As much as it might feel uncomfortable, you just have to say, "Okay, I'm sorry." Yeah, I am, I am sorry. Because by defending it, by defending it, it feels like there's an excuse. Denisha, he just said he's sorry and I wanna take a moment.
I am sorry.
I wanna take a moment. I am. 'Cause I'm not expecting you to accept this, but what I want is for you to take a moment. You've heard what she says. You said you understand.
I do.
Denisha, I want you to just give him a second. Just to speak to you. I want you to turn to your daughter and tell her whatever you need to say to her heart to validate and acknowledge what she's going through.
I'm sorry for not being there. I'm sorry for not supporting you when you needed some support. I'm sorry about when you was growing up, I wasn't there. I know I wasn't there. I'm sorry about that.
His personal choices Is what stood in the way of you getting the support you deserve.
Exactly.
Of your family getting the support. But there's something else, is that I don't think, first of all, that you've had the proper time to grieve.
I can't grieve, I gotta fight.
See, there we go.
I can't grieve.
Yes, you can. This is imperative for your growth. Dennis, father, dad, whatever you call him, I need to grieve and I need you to hold me. Hold me up and hold everything down so I can grieve. That is the thing you need to be saying.
I got you.
Those words. I got you. Because every time you don't say grieve and you say, I need you to show up for your bloodline, do you do these things? It's taking away from the fact that you need to take a break.
Yeah.
You need to take a break.
I totally agree with that.
You can't.
You got to take a break. Got to take a break.
So what you're gonna say to her when she says things like, "I can take a break," you're gonna say, "What can I take off your plate so you can grieve?" I'm here for you and I'm gonna do what I gotta do.
To what?
Help you grieve.
To help you grieve. I'm gonna try to take some of that stuff off your plate so you can grieve.
Give your daughter a hug.
Come in. Can you look at that makeup kit before buying it on eBay?
Thank you, I got you.
I got you.
Thank y'all for being here and sharing your story. Everyone, make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking and growing.
