I Was Behind Bars & You Went Behind My Back! | KARAMO

How did you find out that Tay had sex with your cousin?

My cousin came like, "Hey, you know, me and your wife been together." You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, "What?" 'Cause it's confusing to me 'cause, you know, we already talked about all this. You know, there's supposed to be no surprises.

Of course.

So this is a surprise.

Yeah.

I asked her about it and, you know, you don't remember. Now you forgot.

So she didn't deny it. She said she don't remember or she said, "No, it didn't happen." Nah, it's all, you know, it's lies.

You know what I'm saying?

In your opinion, it's lies?

Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like, they're just making it up, you know?

Got it, uh-huh.

But it's coming from my cousin now, so I have to respect it 'cause it's my cousin.

Got it. What else did your cousin say?

They moved in.

That they moved in as well?

Moved her, the kids in, you know what I'm saying? His kids in, like, you know.

Wow, okay then. And what happened when you went to your wife with this information about the move-in? The sex?

She just was helping him out. He was in a bad spot, needed somewhere to stay.

Got it, got it, got it, got it. Y'all so judgmental. Y'all ain't even heard her side. Y'all talking about, they on your side, just let you know. They on your side already, all right? Okay, but there's something that's confusing me. If this your wife, where were you when this was happening? 'Cause if she moved the man in.

So the deal with that is that I was locked up. Okay. We'll go all into all of that, but.

Okay.

When I got out, we had to have a conversation. Don't, you know, like no surprises. Don't make me look stupid.

How long were you locked up for?

I did almost 10 years.

Almost 10 years. And how long have you been out?

I've been out since, it was 13 years now.

So you've been out for 13 years?

Yeah.

So there's almost 10 years now that you're saying, I was in jail, you got out and said, let's just be honest. Tell me whatever went on.

Clean slate.

Clean slate. And then all of a sudden your cousin come outta the blue and says.

This happened.

This happened with your wife?

Right.

Mm, got it, got it, got it, got it. I gotta ask this. Is there any way that your cousin could be lying?

So I would say yes, but our son has had mentioned it before, but he's young, so I brush him off.

Is that why you left the marriage? Because you've heard this information?

So once one of my cousins said that, it's kind of like when you open the floodgates, everything comes out. Yeah. Like it's not just one thing, it's just everything. And so I already have issues, trust issues with women, you know what I mean? My mom, not to go all into a whole different story, but so I have trust issues. So if I give you my trust, then if you break it, then that's on you. You know what I'm saying? 'Cause you could have just been honest. I gave you the opportunity to be honest and now you forgot, you don't remember. But you remember all the stuff I do.

But you don't remember this. Got it, got it, got it. Just let you know, I appreciate you sharing about your mother because it gives me context. This is the type of show that you actually can share that because it helps me. My only goal on this show is always to help people to be better, to get together, to get your answers.

And so I appreciate you sharing that.

I think it's time that we meet Tay and hear what she has to say about this. So everyone, welcome Tay to the show.

Man, I like, man, that suit is bad. I like this suit.

I appreciate it, man. I appreciate it, man. Hello, how are you?

How are you doing? I am good, how are you?

You look great.

Thank you.

Thank you. So what do you have to say about what you heard?

So it's true, but I didn't know it was his cousin.

Oh.

And what you found out though?

It was his cousin.

Okay, hold on. So it is true that you're saying you did have an affair?

No.

You slept with his cousin?

I slept with his cousin. I did not have an affair.

But you slept with him?

Yes.

Okay then.

But when she found out, she still didn't say nothing. See what I'm saying?

Got it.

But did. When he was in jail, he broke up with me in jail.

Uh-huh. Hold on, I gotta back up with this before, 'cause I wanna get those details. Brandon, is this the first time you're hearing this? 'Cause she just said she's admitting that she did do something.

So she finally admitted it, but it's like, it took all, like, for the world to blow up.

Got it, okay.

For it to even, like pulling teeth. Even when I'm asking questions or probing, it's like, it's still not making sense.

I understand. So with you, so now I want you to gimme your context 'cause from your point of view, you saying he was in jail and what were you about to say?

He broke up with me. I was faithful. I didn't cheat at all or sleep with no one at all. He broke up with me. I didn't know it was his cousin. The way it's coming out or it's sounding as if I knew.

Yeah, or if that you were together, 'cause is it true that y'all were broken up during that time?

So that's cool, like I get what she's saying, but even what I tell her, like when you did find out, you still concealed it. Everybody concealed it.

Got it.

When I did find out, I did tell you and I had to find out through a picture because my memory does not serve me correct during this time.

Uh-huh, but hold on, I wanna go back 'cause there's a key point. Brandon, were you broken up during the time she did this?

So that's the thing. Like I just told you before, I couldn't be mad, but that was the deal for the clean slate. You see what I'm saying? The deal was like, I'm getting out, I can't, whatever happened, I was put away, so I can't be upset. But don't make me look stupid.

Got it. But in your mind, Tae, you thinking this is some dude I talked to, you didn't know that it was related.

Right. So with that being said, it wasn't like it was an affair. It was sex. Sex doesn't really mean much to me.

Got it, yeah. You know what I mean?

From what I've been through.

How long after Brandon got out did you see a photo or realize that this was his cousin?

2 years.

2 years. Okay.

I told him.

And at that 2-year mark, you said you told him?

That's why we broke up. That's what made him leave.

Okay.

'Cause I seen the obituary and I said, I know that guy because I did have sex with some people, but my memory, every time I have a tragedy or a tragic, I put it in a Pandora box. Got it. So it's locked away.

So here's the deal.

Give names or anything like that.

And maybe you can explain it to me better, but here's the deal.

I told him I know him too.

You heard her just say sex is just sex, right?

Uh-huh.

Okay, so.

We weren't together.

It's what you said.

Nobody else did get that.

You just said sex doesn't matter to me.

And it doesn't matter because when you are molested or raped as a child, your body is your temple. Well, somebody took my temple before I could give it, then why should I care about it? And don't get me wrong, I love my husband. He's my everything, my whole world. And that's why I'm here. I'm not here to say, oh, embarrass me, put me out here. What I did is what I did, and everything in life is a lesson for me. It's not a mistake. And I did it, and I love my husband, and I want him to come home. I got 23 years with this man faithfully. And I want that faithfully to be strong. Faithfully, 23 years.

It was just only time that you broke up.

That's not to mean nothing to me. I only gave it to him for 23 years. Until you broke up with me. Yeah, yeah. Until you broke up with me.

It don't even matter about the breakup.

When you broke up, you opened the door. No, no, listen.

Because I think like a man. So I do what I want like a man.

And that's the problem. It is. 'Cause we both can't drive the car.

And I'm not trying to drive the car, and I'm trying to learn how not to drive the car, but for 23 years, I let you drive the car. You have changed me as a woman, and that's why I love you, and that's why I want you to come home. You have grown. I have grown with you.

But you weren't honest.

I wasn't honest? It wasn't that I wasn't honest, it was that I don't remember. He was a fact. But you remember all the shit I do. He was not a fact. Yeah, I remember all the shit you do, but I don't give it to you. But I don't want you to look at me every time, oh, you holding this against me, and you doing this, you leaving out the house, and all the extra.

You stole my choice.

You feel like she stole your choice?

'Cause I don't know nothing. I've been cool.

No, you know it happened. I just feel like—

'Cause you said she stole your choice. If you would've known in that moment, would you have left her?

Don't know. Never was given the opportunity. You understand what I'm saying?

Well, I also do think you knew it was somebody else though.

It doesn't—

And you came home to me.

You can't split apples and oranges.

But you can't count heads. As you did it once, then—

When you were in jail, you knew that she had slept with somebody.

So listen. I asked for transparency and clarity when I got out. We can start fresh.

But she did give you a name. She did tell you that she slept with someone.

You just said you slept with someone.

It wasn't his cousin though.

So here it is. If somebody asks you for transparency so that you can make your choice and your decision, and they say they only was with one person, and then it comes out that they was with 10, how you gonna feel about that?

No, I agree. I understand.

I'm trying to be transparent. I'm trying to be honest with you. I'm trying to give you what you need so you can come home.

Got it.

I didn't think that Once people started talking and saying all this stuff, he was gonna go this way because he knew it was one. It doesn't matter to me, it was done, I did it. I broke your trust, I broke your heart.

It doesn't matter to you, it matters to me.

Exactly, and that's why I'm trying to get you back.

That's why I'm trying to proceed with saying what I have to do to clear your heart. I wanna be clear for everyone at home, just make sure you're tracking this. So she did tell you that she hooked up, but she didn't tell you that it was more than one person and she also didn't say that it was It was something that you found out later. Right. Okay, I wanna be clear about that. Well, it is time to unlock the phone.

And I'm not going to find nothing 'cause wasn't nothing there. Wasn't nothing there, baby.

All right, Tay, we unlocked your phone. All right, Brandon, you wanna know if Tay has any explicit photos on her phone. Tay says she does not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched her photos, those that are on your phone and also those that are deleted. And found she is telling the truth.

Everything I do, I'm not ashamed of nothing I did. All I'm honest.

Brandon, you wanna know if Tay is on any dating apps? Tay says she is not. My unlock the phone investigator searched her apps and found that Tay is telling the truth.

I don't even know how to work the phone or get an app.

All right, Brandon, you wanna know if Tay is communicating with any men? She says she is not. When I unlocked the phone, investigators searched her texts and found 9,790 texts.

Not with no man.

Well, the man is you.

There you go. Not with no man. I was gonna say, wait a minute.

The reason that—

I was finna say 9,000 a month. Everything better be paid.

I ain't gonna lie, I delivered it a little messy. But the reason we did it that way is because what I, this morning I was asked by my investigator to look at the text message between you all. And the text message between you all is very much about you two wanting to be intimate. You two want to get back together. Like there is clearly still love here you have for this woman.

Oh, you see, now you got me up there begging for his sex 'cause I ain't getting none.

Okay.

Turn that off.

Okay.

Turn that off.

Well, no, I don't know why you put that on.

That's harassment.

But there was a whole lot where y'all both wanted to have sex together.

Every time he tell me he want to come and get it, you got the key, he got the key to the whole apartment. He left me. He left me. He got access to that house, you hear me?

I know your feelings are hurt, but there is an underlying love and hurt here. What I'm realizing right now is that both of you have had traumatic pasts.

Yes.

Both of you. And I do believe you've supported each other through your traumatic past, but I also don't think there's an equal respect for each other's past. Because when she's telling you that there's no memory, I've worked with survivors of sexual abuse. I've worked with children who have been molested. It has been part of my entire career. And there is a block in people's memories. The way they associate sex, the way that they see relationships, it does change, it's skewed. And I'm sorry that you've had those experiences.

Yeah, because either you gonna, it's gonna be one thing. Either you gonna go straight, you gonna go a little crooked, or you gonna just be doing whatever.

Yeah, and so I wanna be clear about this because Disassociating, especially when it comes to sex, when you've been a survivor of any type of sexual assault or molestation, is a real thing because you have to compartmentalize of like, what does this mean to me? What does this mean to my body? What does this mean to my safety and security? And so for you, I understand your trauma is different. And so what happens is they're conflicting because you're like, I need a woman that I can trust. I need transparency. And she's given you that. For most of the years, almost all the years, actually all of them. Let me be clear, all of them.

All of them. Because it's the only man I ever changed for.

When you came out, she told you, it's just that what you're wanting is more. You want more clarity because it's triggering your trust. But I want you to be able to respect what she's been through. But what I wanna say within that is that we've seen everything and she's only been about you. She's only loved you. She's only supported you. And so you have to understand.

Like I don't love men. I don't love men.

That she has been—

I love him.

Devoted to you. And what I'm telling you this for is because as someone who has issues with trust and with believing somebody is actually gonna be there for me, this woman has been there for you. And so as I say that to you, I'm asking if you truly love this woman, which I know from those 9,000 texts you do, that you respect the trauma she's been through. And as a trained professional, you understand that there is disassociation. There is. And sometimes we wanna be like, no, you, because for me, if I slept with somebody because I haven't been through that, I'm gonna be like, I can tell you this person, this person, that person. But our chances are different.

Hold on, hold on, because I can. I can tell you this person, this person, this person. What it was is it was a trauma when he left me. I have given this man all of me. So everything that I did in 4 months, I put it away. But now if I can say, if he could ask me how many men you done slept with and counting, if they not in that Pandora, I can tell you. I can tell you their names. If I had a relationship or relations with them, I can tell you.

I understand. And so what she's doing here again, and what I'm hoping by giving you this and giving you the answers we have from the phone is for you to understand that if she could give you the information, she would. If she could give you everything you wanted, I truly believe she would.

And I have discernment for knowing when people—

I have discernment for knowing when women are lying and people is lying.

'Cause I agree.

I stress that, but it's completely useless. And what I can tell is that she wants to give it to you, but there's not an option. And so I say that to say, that's why that question about, is this about your pride or your bride, it was important for me because the pride says, what about somebody else walks up to me and knows something I don't know? What you gotta do in that moment is trust that your wife is always gonna be there to make sure you never look like a fool. You are asking for names, but the only name you need to be worried about is Tate. That's your own. Okay, that's good. I'm gonna ask you this. Can you look at your wife and say, "I will respect your trauma"?

Yeah.

Look at her and say it.

I respect your trauma.

And I respect yours, babe. And I'm sorry. Do you hear me? I'm sorry.

I'm gonna say this as well because since his issues, there is some things that we can do and he's asked for. Since he said, listen, the transparency was not what I wanted to be, but moving forward, like you said, I can't do anything in the past, but I will move forward with you. So will you take the passcode off your phone?

Absolutely.

How does that make you feel? Does something make you feel better?

But I take the password off my phone, can I have my access back to your heart?

We'll work on it. That's all we can do is work on it.

And you willing to be— But she answered the question.

You got little ladies right here.

She said if she— She said if she take the password off her phone, can you have the access back to her heart?

So I never took it. I just backed it up, you know what I'm saying?

He didn't take it.

Are you willing to give it back to her?

You understand, 'cause you read the text, so. I didn't take it 'cause if I hated you, I wouldn't deal with you at all.

I wouldn't deal with you, I saw it.

Listen, you got me on this show, I don't even like people.

And I do.

I don't even like people. Hold on, at least you like me now, huh?

I like you both too.

Okay, okay, okay.

Let's hope it out. I think that what you took here was a first step of acknowledging each other, but also you taking a step to say, I'll give you something you need to restore the trust. And so by hearing each other and also having an action to move forward, I think y'all on the right path to get back together.

Okay.

All right?

All right.

So I wish, I pray y'all, I wish y'all the best of luck.

Mm-hmm.