I Was In Jail So How'd You Get Pregnant? | KARAMO

First of all, I gotta ask you, what happened at the hotel last night?

So basically he got, I guess, irate because he wanted there to be a certain narrative.

Certain narrative coming here?

Yeah. Yeah. And I just disagreed because I believe that based off of, I told him, I said, you know, the audience already has pretty much their pre-notion of what we're here for. So if you're gonna come out and you're gonna say one thing and it not be truthful, then like, what are we here for? Because I just don't believe that, you know.

So he called the show and tried to set like a very specific story out there.

Well, I think it's more of just being, keeping everybody in a good light.

Got it.

And I think that, you know, first of all, I believe, and I brought you up.

And I don't know his side of the story, so I'm gonna wait to hear his. I actually try to stay neutral. But when I hear someone say, keep everyone in a good light, and I also hear that he's been the one that's cheating and he's the one questioning your child, is he trying to say keep himself in a good light?

Well, yeah, because I think that right now the narrative is already set. You have me coming out here looking crazy. I've been with him for 10 years. We have 2 children together, which we're only speaking on one. But I just don't believe that.

'Cause you almost didn't come today.

No.

Yeah, why?

Because I just feel like, you know, at this point, like I'm not gonna make a fool of myself. This is my life. Got it. You know what I'm saying?

Did he tell you that you'll end up being a single mom? Did he tell you that?

There was a lot of words said last night and he pretty much made it seem like that's what it's gonna be like, yes.

That you'll be a single mom, got it. I read into the notes when he called us that he was in jail.

Yeah.

How long was he in jail for?

Was it 23 months? He can clarify that, yeah.

23 months, okay. So he was gone for a little bit of time.

Yeah.

Did he think the relationship was over?

Did you think the relationship was over? When he went away, we had a very clear picture of we were not speaking, you know what I mean? Like we were done. He went into jail, he had other relationships and you know, whatever to support him through that time.

Because he was already cheating on you?

Yeah.

Got it. So when he went into jail, you were like, we're not together and you were getting supported by these other women?

Well, I think in the beginning I didn't know. I had went to court hearings or something and I had seen people.

Oh, that's how you found out about the other women?

Yeah.

You're in court? Yeah. Trying to support him. Yeah. And these other women.

Well, I had a call, I had a show, I was in and out.

Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah. But you're there and these other women there. Oh.

Yeah.

But he also cheated on you in December?

Recently.

Recently? Okay, what did he do?

You know, I kind of wanna put him on the spot. I want him to come out and here own that. You know, let him say that. You know what I mean? I think, you know, being a man and having to, you know, look, you know, actually say.

Accountability.

Yeah, exactly. Let's bring some accountability to that.

Yes.

I'm all about not painting a certain narrative either.

I mean, again, you're not painting a narrative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are just questions. So here, even though I deal with feelings, it's a lot about facts. And so one of the other facts is that he gave you an STD.

Well, I didn't have any. But he had an STD. Again, I would like him to hold accountability for his questions.

Well, listen, I think it's important to welcome your your man Todd to the show to hear his side of the story. So everyone, welcome Todd. Hey Todd, thank you for being here. Nice to meet you. So tell me, why did you want the DNA test?

Well, considering I was in jail for, I was in jail without trial for 30 months. And like she even told me she was messing with somebody while I was away. You know, and the pregnancy happened very fast when I came home. You know, like, and she's also aware of a situation years ago. I raised a kid for 3 years and found out he wasn't mine. You know, like, and I'm all on social media with this kid, man. I'm so happy to be a dad. Like, I'm, pictures of me kissing, the woman's stomach, like, you know, like I was invested.

[Speaker:KARAMO] That makes sense to me. Like if you've had a woman have you raise their child for 3 years to then have that ripped away from you to find out you're not the father, I can understand the issues it's gonna cause you emotionally, mentally, and how that's gonna bleed into a new relationship. There's something that Sadie said that when you were in court that time though is when she found out about other women you were talking to. So during your time of you going into that situation, of your incarceration before you all had broken up, did you have other women?

In the course of my incarceration, yes, because she made it clear. There was periods she didn't answer the phone for 8, 9 months. You know, she stopped coming to see me, you know, like, so she didn't—

But if the women were in the courthouse, wouldn't that have been that you would've been talking to them prior?

Not necessarily. I mean, I've done a lot of jail time, and based on the fact that her and I weren't in good standing, I just wanted someone to walk through through, like this was literally the darkest period of my life facing 8 to 16 years.

But I do also wanna be transparent. I don't wanna look like I'm out here just making stuff out of thin air. There were, you know, there was one specific female that was in there.

That you was talking to?

Yeah, yeah. That was before.

Let me ask you about this because she said she didn't wanna talk about this. Did you tell her that she needed to get checked for an STD a few months ago?

I did, yeah.

And was that because you had caught one from another woman?

Yes.

Okay. What was it like having that conversation with your lady, the fact that you now cheated and potentially had given her an STD?

I'm gonna be honest, it was very convicting. It was very convicting because of even though through our trials and tribulations, we have had progress. You know, we've had had progress and in the moments where I feel weak, nothing will justify my actions of doing the things that I've done to her, nothing. I let myself down and her down and I feel like I let my kids down and I feel like I let, our aspirations and our ambitions down because of a weak moment I had based on maybe a time where her and I weren't eye to eye.

So how many times would you say that you've cheated over the—

The 10 years we've been together?

Yeah, the 10 years.

In the midst of my alcoholism, I mean, I'll have 8 years sober this July, but when I was in my addiction, she knows, like I cheated a lot. I hate that she was caught in that crossfire of the suffering that I couldn't, Like, I hate that.

Yeah, I hear you. I do. I hate that. Here you go. Here you go. How do you feel about the relationship you're currently in?

Yo, I love this woman, man. Honest to God, I love this woman. And I disappoint myself because I know I'm not what she needs me to be. I know I'm not, and I'm trying, but at the same time, she kind of don't make it easy either. When it comes to us communicating with each other. You know, like I get that she goes through a lot.

Me being—

How does she not make it easy?

I'm gonna give you an example. We almost didn't make it here, as I'm sure you guys know, you know? And she was overwhelmed. Sadie overwhelms herself. I try to de-escalate, I do. It doesn't always work.

Which I'm not discrediting him from, but I also think that we need to, we don't know how to communicate in general. The foundation of the argument last night, what I was just done telling you guys out here. I'm a mom. Like, this is a big deal for me to be on this show and to like come out here and to be transparent about my relationship, but then to also like sit here and have to like— no offense— but to give this, you know, this man like to appease his brokenness. Where's mine? Where's mine? Because like, but, and then in the same breath, I'm hearing all of All these things, like where do I respect myself? Where's the boundary? I'm still learning these things. I need this foundation. I need this. This is why we're here. This is why I stayed, you know, last time.

Do y'all currently live together?

No, we don't.

You don't live together, okay. So, but you came here today to find out if you are, Zayven is your child's name? I like that, Zayven. If you are Zayven's father by taking a DNA test, because I think now it's time to unlock that truth and just get—

Please do, bring it on. I'm so ready. Like, I want that.

I always tell people this is not my truth to open, this is your truth. So are you his biological father or not?

I am. I am.

How do you feel?

I mean, I—

'Cause you don't seem excited. I know you've been in the child's life.

Because it's not like something that I was, heavily doubting. It was just a possibility in my mind based on the timeframe of me being incarcerated. So it wasn't like something—

But as a mom, that's so disrespectful. Like, as a woman, I've been with this man for 10 years. Like, when is the suffering from your past, when is there going to be a line where you hold accountability as an adult, as a father figure, as a man to just sit there and say, like, We didn't need to do this on a show. Like, it really didn't need to get this far. And I think that's where you missed the whole point last night of the blowup, which was it had nothing to do with coming on here proving it.

Do you feel like you owe her an apology now? For the fact that she's now been brought here when she's been telling you she's been faithful? And now that it's been confirmed that after 10 years she hasn't done anything, that these children are yours? Do you feel like you owe her an apology?

I do, I do. And I do apologize. And I just wanna reiterate that it was never really nothing personally like towards you. And the main reason why I inquired was to try to get some kind of guidance or direction based on what we're trying to navigate through from where we came from.

Well, I got a question 'cause you both have said you wanna talk about the trials and tribulations, but neither of you have said what those are.

Okay.

What are the trials and tribulations?

Well, in full transparency, like I literally put her through hell in the midst of my addiction.

Addiction.

Like I dragged her through hell in the midst of my addiction and I got shot. I was doing, I was robbing people, shooting people. I lived a completely different lifestyle. And then after I had got shot, she unfortunately suffered for the aftermath of my mental health after that, you know? And she took my son and left. So her and my son, they were the driving point of me going to rehab. Staying consistent.

Yeah, I appreciate that. I'm glad. Congratulations. My question is, so we also came here because We offer on everyone's show, the DNA test was the only result. We also offer everyone to say, if you want full transparency, if you want to have that where you can actually leave this show with full clarity, we're able to unlock phones. And so this is where we're at now, unlocking your phone. So—

You did it?

No, I didn't.

Oh, you didn't do it. So you refused to lock the phone?

No.

So why did you refuse if that's what she's asking for?

Well, initially it wasn't something she was asking for and I feel as though I have that right like anybody else and it wasn't what I inquired when I submitted to the show.

But I didn't have a right to take in my kids though.

Isn't that a bit controlling? A bit controlling? Because you submit, you—

But if I would've said no to the DNA test for the kids though, it would've been a problem. Sorry to cut you off.

No, please cut me off 'cause you're saying what I'm saying.

I'm just saying, make that make sense. Yes, because that would've been an issue.

Who would've been blowing up? If she would've said, no, I don't wanna do this, I don't wanna come here. I wanna come here, we can talk about our issues, but I'm not taking a DNA test. You would've had an issue because it would've been like, well, what you hiding? What's the thing? And so this is being offered to give her the same security that you're asking for and you're unwilling to give her that security by unlocking your phone.

Especially after December.

Especially after December. So why wouldn't you give her that transparency? Why wouldn't you give her the security that you're looking for?

Because I feel like that transparency would be better accomplished off camera.

But that's the same thing she said to you.

It's not. What I was trying to communicate is that my initial reason on coming onto the show, it wasn't revolved around the DNA test.

I get that. I understand that.

Okay, but if we're talking about the relationship.

For her as well, it was, if you're talking about.

But if we're gonna talk about the relationship, then you know, I'm just saying like.

What's going on here is there, and this is an outside perspective, there is a double standard going on here. And I think that you're aware of it. I think you've been in a space where you have understood after 10 years how to control a narrative, how to get things to go where you want them to go. And I understand your trauma and I understand you went through and I also see your growth, but at some point you have to realize that you've grown apart and that there is so much damage that has been done in this relationship for years that the foundation is so unstable. If you really wanna know my opinion, what I think needs to happen is that you all need to find a way to learn how to co-parent and fully separate from each other. I mean, to end this, you said he wanted to control the narrative when you first walked out here. Well, I think it's time for you to take control of that narrative back.

And that's the advice I'm gonna give you.

That's the advice. That's the advice I got for you. I really do wish y'all the best of luck. Thank you. And I want you to know, you haven't left here being the bad guy.

What I've given you—

No, I am, bro.

I am. See, I am, bro.

That type of self-deprecation is what's gonna keep you in a pattern that's gonna be self-destructive. What I'm trying to do for you right now is affirm to you that you're not the bad guy, but showing you that your progress should be channeled somewhere else. We see the progress you've made. It's just not for this relationship. It's for something else, which is those kids. Wish y'all the best of luck though. Thank you. All right, everyone. Thank you for being with us. Make sure to come back next time, friends, so we can keep talking, and we can keep growing. I love you all.