In this YouTube episode, host Karamo mediates a tense family conversation between a mother (Speaker B) and her son Kenneth. The mother admits she sometimes says hurtful things like "I wish you were never born" when she feels attacked, explaining that her own trauma—including past drug addiction and the stress of having a child in the foster‑care system—leads to reactive anger. Kenneth responds by breaking objects to gain his mother’s attention, expressing that he feels unheard and that his mother’s attempts at positive interaction (trips, outings) never satisfy him. Karamo repeatedly asks probing questions, highlights the cycle of negative attention, and stresses that respect and attentive listening are essential for healing. He frames the conflict as a teachable moment for viewers, emphasizing that destructive behavior often stems from unmet emotional needs and that parents must consciously provide positive attention to break the pattern.
Chapters
You told your son that we just heard on that tape that you said you wish he was never born.
I don't mean that I wish he was never born, but when we going through something and he calling me bitches and hoes and stuff like that, that's when I say stuff like that. And he don't get when he say stuff to me, it hurts me and I just retaliate and say stuff back.
So why do you say hurtful things to your children?
I don't mean to say hurtful things to my children, but I've been through a lot and they just like sometimes don't give me a chance. Especially Kenneth, he don't give me a chance. He just all the time try to scream at me or tell me I'm doing it wrong and never give me a chance to be a mother.
Well, 'cause he said he's in pain and right now the reason that he's quiet right now is 'cause I asked him to make a commitment not to disrespect you because I really did want this to work for you all. And so like, I know that's why, 'cause I can see your jaw. I watch my, that jaw is like this. And, but he's holding it and I appreciate that because I do think for a mother and a child to heal, there has to be a level of respect that comes out. And so that's why I asked you why you felt like you can disrespect your kids. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So what was going on in your life when he went into foster care system?
Well, I had a drug addiction.
So why is he still in foster care then? Especially when you have the other 4 kids?
Well, When he first came home, he would start trying to break up my things, cursing me out. And it was like being an ongoing situation. So it was like, okay, you cannot stay in here with me because we not getting along. I don't want you to hurt me. And I didn't want to hurt him.
Kenny, what was going on there? Why were you in that space where you felt like you had to break stuff?
Because I felt like, you know, I'm the child, you're my mother. You should at least take the time out to hear me with my traumas, what I went through.
Mm-hmm.
Like, you know, I love my mom, but I'm your child.
So because she didn't feel like she heard you, to get her attention, you started breaking things?
Yes, 'cause that's what got her attention.
The reason I specifically point that out is because if anybody at home is watching this, it's a teachable moment. When kids do things like break stuff, destroy things, it's because if they're not getting attention in a positive way, they're gonna get the attention in a negative way. And unfortunately, as adults, we fall for it. And then it's like it just teaches the child, well, let me always do bad because I know you're gonna pay attention.
But I would give him attention in a positive way.
And tell me how you felt like you did that.
Sometimes I would try to take them out, spend time with them, and do things with them. It's like nothing I did was enough for Kenneth.
You saying you did all of this, but it been plenty of times you went on trips without me, without me even knowing. I call you, you already there.
And the reason why is that, Because no matter, like I said, he don't never, nothing enough for him. I could take him on a trip and he would spoil a trip for everybody because something didn't go his way. It's like, oh, I'm gonna mess everybody up. And that's not right to do. So sometimes I have to leave him home.
Yeah. Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.
