I Won't Wear The Engagement Ring Until You Unlock Your Phone! | KARAMO

Thank you for having me.

So girl, tell me, why do you suspect Jesse of cheating?

Karamo, it's just so much going on. He has been lying to me about his whereabouts, um, out with various family members. It's just all lies.

Yeah, got it. So when did you start to lose trust in Jesse?

I'm gonna say about 5 and 6 months into the relationship. Okay then. I asked him to stay away from certain family members because they, the way how they move, I already know how they do and how they conduct things. So it's like he turns around and not one time, but he has done it again.

What's suspicious about Jesse's behavior?

They're leaving around the same time when I'm calling them, they're popping back up at the same times. Like, this is really weird.

Tell me about the rumors you heard about Jesse from your friends and family.

I've heard that he's sleeping with friends, Meanwhile, with some of my family members.

And how long y'all been engaged?

We've been together for a year, so it's like—

So one year together.

Yes.

How long you been engaged?

Been going through all this, been engaged for, I wanna say about 3 months.

3 months, okay.

Yes.

'Cause I don't see you wearing a ring.

At that point, Karamo, I'm sorry, at that point, I had my ring and I was like—

I don't trust you.

I don't trust you. I just, this is why I'm here today because it's like before I go further, like, 'cause I really love him and I really care about him.

Do you feel like, do you feel secure in your relationship with Jesse?

As of right now, no, I don't. I really don't.

Okay then, got it, got it. Okay then. Well, I wanna go ahead and hear Because we're here to unlock Jesse's phone, correct?

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

And if we find something in his phone, what are you gonna do?

I feel like it's gonna be over. All the questions I asked before, they should have been already explained to me.

Answered.

Okay.

Yes.

Well, I think it's time to meet Jesse and hear his side of the story. So everyone, please welcome Jesse to the show. How you doing, Jesse?

How you doing?

Welcome to the show, brother.

How you doing? Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. What you sayin'? So I'm gonna ask you point blank, have you been intimate with anyone in Ebony's family?

No.

No one?

No, when we got in a relationship, when me and her got serious, I found out that it was a person that I messed with was her cousin. We talked about it and I never lied about nothing.

Okay.

But no, 'cause you never stated to me, you never stated to me that you were even messing with that cousin. You never stated to me that 'cause you know I wouldn't even been talking to you if I would've known that. You know I wouldn't even been talking to you.

So I need some clarity.

Did I know that was your cousin? So hold on, let me be clear. I never knew. I gotta get clarity. Kelsyn X is the one that's in the car that she has an issue with?

When we talk about family members, it's more than one female that she accusing.

Yeah.

And I never did. But you said, "I don't accuse you." How the fuck am I accusing you?

When you sit up there and been in the car with her after I asked you not to be in the car with her because I told you how she was and how she moves. So how you gonna sit up here and lie and say that you not Oh, you wasn't messing around with her? Not once, but twice?

I agree with that.

Come on now. I agree with that. Not once, but two times?

Really?

So you're not sitting up here getting up or turning around every time you got—

You got access to my phone. You got access to everything.

No, I don't.

How am I doing that?

How do I have access to your phone when I'm sitting up here asking about seeing your phone? You never let me see your phone.

Huh?

You gotta come here for me to get to your phone.

Who called the show? I did. So what are you talking about? I did, to prove this.

Did you even have—

I called this show to prove this. Because you didn't even have a choice. To prove this, 'cause this all it be. This all it be. I called the show to get this out the way. I did all this because, to prove her wrong.

To prove her wrong. That's what you're gonna have to do.

For the record, have you ever cheated on her?

This what you don't have to do.

No, I came here to prove it. That's why we're here.

So all the rumors started after you proposed? Yes. Okay then, and why do you think that?

No, all these rumors, all these rumors.

From he say, she say.

All these rumors was going on.

From he say, she say. Every time she bring it up, I say the same thing, same thing.

Because I'm arguing with him.

You damn near can't even explain.

You sitting up there telling me that this is what's going on.

Ebony, Ebony, I will say this, you do cut him off a lot.

Every time, every time, every time. You do cut him off a lot. Every time.

I just been told I do.

Every time.

Look. I'm asking, he told me in our relationship we did have an agreement as far as if there's something wrong in the relationship, we're supposed to talk about it.

Of course, I agree.

So that's the only reason why if I see something wrong, if you telling me, like, "Babe, if there's something wrong, come to me and let me know." But do you actually think that you give him space to talk and hear her? Yes, I do.

They don't think so.

I do, yes I do, yes I do, yes I do.

Do you tell Ebony you love her?

Yes.

All the time?

Yes.

Okay. How do you make sure that she feels secure? You don't tell me you love me because how do you tell me you love me?

He does not tell me he loves me because I go about on my days feeling that he doesn't love me. Just like when I had a family member of mine passing away. How can you say you love me and you turn around at my family members passing away, you love me, But you sit up there, not only attempt to argue with me and fought with me the same night of the candlelight and then turned around and left.

Who did you lose?

I'm sorry. I lost my daughter, my oldest daughter, just October 3rd.

Got it, recently, I'm so sorry.

23 years old.

Got it, okay. What happened that night?

This—

Hold on, hold on, I need you to—

This where the argument came from. Oh, you all these females out here. Every time I try to console her, get off me, you talk to this girl in your face, this girl in your face.

How that you're supposed to grieve with me that day?

Can I finish?

Nobody should be able to walk in your face and tell you —how you supposed to feel towards your woman?

This gonna be the crazy thing. It's gonna be another show, 'cause all she do is do this, do this, do this, do this, do this, do this, do this, do this, do this.

And what are you gonna do?

You came here to prove that you're transparent. So it's time to unlock the phone. Yes! Yes! Yes!

I lock it. I lock it. I lock it.

All right, here we go. Ebony, you wanna know if Jesse is communicating with other women on Facebook Messenger. Jesse says he is not. My Lock the Phone investigator searched his apps and found that Jesse is telling the truth. Just let you know, he doesn't even have Facebook Messenger on app on his phone. Ebony, you wanna know if Jesse is having inappropriate conversations with any of her family members. Jesse says he is not. My Lock the Phone investigator searched his texts and found that Jesse is telling the truth. All right, so Ebony, you wanna know if Jesse is communicating with anyone else inappropriately during their relationship. Jesse says he is not. My locked phone investigator searched his phone and found that Jesse is telling the truth. There's been no inappropriate conversations.

I'm sorry. I apologize.

I mean, I'm sorry. All this, all this. All this? All this?

I want to know. Jesse, we did find this though. This kid did find 946 visits to pornography websites as recent as Monday. You go to a lot of porn sites. 946, brother? Wow. That's a lot. That's a lot. Wow. 946, bro.

That's a lot. Hey. What is that about?

Like, what?

Well, if y'all argue like this, I could understand why you might be— the intimacy could be struggling. Is the intimacy struggling? Yes, it is. I can tell the intimacy's struggling. The intimacy's not struggling? If the intimacy is not struggling and you going to porn sites 946 times, that means it's an addiction.

It hasn't been, it has been a problem. It's just been a problem with intimacy because just going through all this.

There's no problem with intimacy? So you have a porn addiction?

Which one is it then? I don't have a porn addiction.

Okay, then so there's intimacy issues.

No, not, no, no. She says there is. Since when?

I'm talking about fire ass. Since when? Not touching each other, not being like, being intimate because of the situations that's been going on.

Who the medicine?

So I have been like not wanting to even be intimate.

Who the medicine?

Not who the medicine. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Well listen, we know this for sure. What I do know for sure is the complaints that you had about him talking to family members, We scrubbed it, we looked for any details of one thing that could be even construed as maybe you talking. He's not talking to any of your family members. He's not talking to anybody out there. Yeah. What I will say here is that there's two things at play. And before I even knew about you losing the child, I said there's something going on in the way that you're perceiving things. And I wrote down paranoia or grieving. And then you said that you lost a child. So grieving plays a big piece into your frustration. You're angry and you're hurt. Yes. And you need an outlet to get it out.

Yes. Nah, it's past that. It's her past, that's what it is. It's her past, that's what it is. That's what I'm dealing with.

Let me go, let me go, hold on. I got this, I got this. I got this, trust me. Because what I do see is that the grieving is looking for an outlet to take it out from. What I also wrote right here is that it's compounded, which means that I feel as if before this relationship, there was trust issues. And what has happened is that before you get hurt, you are searching for it, you looking for it, you are trying to find it. And I can also tell that in the way that you communicate with him and cut him off, and that's causing a communication issue. But I will tell you this, there is a lack of empathy because you're fed up. And so though you've known her past, I understand how that triggered you feeling like, you know what, I'm tired of this. Yes. But then compounded with the fact that she's grieving, it's causing there to be some other issues because like I can even look at your body language right now when I'm telling you this, you like this, like, man, I don't.

I tried. I know. I tried. I hear you. Pushed away. I know. Pushed away.

No, no, no. Hug her. Hold on. What you can't do is say no. Hug her. You can't say no. Get off me. Because what he's telling you right now is how he feels. That he feels like when he grieves, when he tries to touch you, when he tries to help you, that he doesn't feel it. What's making you emotional right now? Huh? What's making you emotional?

I can't, I gotta walk off for a second. I gotta walk off for a second.

Now I'm not saying things are perfect in your relationship, okay? It's been a year and a half and I think that there are some foundational issues that were not handled properly.

And it's like being back at home, it's like you saying you stand on stuff, but it's not what you showing me. This is what I'm looking at from my end.

Well, we now know that the things that you thought was going on were not going on. We know that for sure. So that should no longer be a part of the conversation. What is part of the conversation, that there's foundational issues. I just heard you say something, okay, when you got back home, was he in jail part of your relationship? Yeah. Okay, I'm trying to pick up enough of the baseline so I can understand what's going on to give y'all some help. So if he got outta jail, you're back together, you're feeling like you told me you're gonna do this and that and then it's not there. Which means foundational issues. Right.

And I have been there for him and supported him through everything. And it's like— I got it.

I got it. But he equally feels like he's been there for you. He equally feels that way. You got emotional and you walked away. What was happening?

When I was trying, she didn't care. Every time I was trying, I was trying, I was trying. I was trying and I got pushed away every time. And I'm always getting accused of something that I'm not doing. It shouldn't have to go that far.

Yeah, I hear that.

I hear that. The main thing that build relationship is communication. If I can communicate with you, if I can listen to you, how you can't listen to me? How you can't? You just accuse me. Just accuse me. And we have come this far. This far.

Truly, honestly believe on both ends there's no communication because nobody's being, nobody's hearing nobody. We're both just arguing and yelling at each other. That's what it is.

Do you hear that? That's what it has been. It's a one-way street.

It's not a one-way street.

She not hearing none of that I'm saying. It's not a one-way street. She only listen to herself.

I'm saying as far as both of us. She not getting that. It's always an argument. It's always an argument.

It's both of us. She asked me to understand her. If I can pull myself back and understand her and I'm listening. When I'm talking, why you can't listen? Why you gotta always, how would you hear me? How would you understand me?

You not, you not there. You're talking, but when you talk to me, talk to me. Don't try to manipulate me also and make me feel like that this is what you.

Do you see that?

It's one way to talking to somebody and it's another way of manipulating somebody. You just wanna tell somebody what you want them to hear, but you're not even trying to listen to what they gotta say as well. Like I said, you was not there When I was going through what I was going through, you were not there. And that's how I feel.

So this goes back to what I said immediately. The two things that I'm hearing again is your past, you being triggered, and the grieving. The two things that I wrote down immediately. These are things that are hindering the relationship. There is a truth. Again, I established that I don't think the foundation is right in this relationship. I think that the foundation was broken. But I also do believe when he's saying that you don't hear him, I actually think that part of your grieving and your past doesn't allow you to hear him fully. I do believe that. This is the piece of advice I have y'all for before we go, that you need to call off the engagement. Yes. This is the first thing. Hear me out. Hear me out. And you need to be friends. Yes. Yes. You are in a very difficult position losing your daughter in October. It's October. You need more time to grieve. You need more time to heal. You have a lot going on. Okay. You have a lot going on right now and you deserve space to fully live in that and to feel that. And you also, sir, have been very hurt by this relationship. So my advice for you is take away this title of you my fiancée, take away this title of you my girlfriend and get back to the basics of saying, can I be your friend? Redefine what that friendship means. Redefine what it means. We've proven now that you are not cheating, you're not talking to family members, you're not doing none of that. But what we need to do is reestablish the friendship between you all. Because in a moment of where I don't feel heard and we're in a moment where I have a past that's triggered me and I'm also grieving, what you all need right now is to be each other's friends, not to be each other's partners. Yes. And it's the truth. Yes. Now I know it's difficult because your lives are intertwined. So to like go back to the title of being friends, it's kind of hard sometimes. How do we be friends? But I've done this with people that I've counseled before in relationships and I've said, go back to being friends. And the ones that can do it, literally go back to everybody in y'all lives, say, we not fiancé no more, we friends. Introduce her as your friend, you introduce him as your friend. Rebuild that. I'm telling you, a month and a half of that, talk to each other as like friends, not about a relationship. See, in a relationship, it's, you didn't hear me, you didn't talk to me, you're not doing this. As friends, it's like, oh, what's going on? What's happening with you? I don't have no hurt feelings from it because it's not towards me. I'm not your man, I'm your friend. That title shift allows you to hear each other a different way. Right. Oh no, that been on hold.

That been on hold.

I know it's been on hold, the marriage, but I'm saying take the title away. Take it away fully. Take it away fully. Be friends. Yeah. Learn how to be friends again. If you can do that, it helps you to say, what she talking about, Stell? If she starts talking to you mean, like, "Well, I don't do this," be like, "Hey, I'm just your friend. Talk to me like your friend," and vice versa. It's the only way to rebuild a foundation so y'all can get somewhere that's healthy. I wish y'all the best of luck. I'm glad you've been vindicated, and I'm sorry for what you're going through, all right?