If He's Not My Father I'll Give Up My Search! | KARAMO

I love you so much.

Aw, thank you. I love you too. So please take me back. How did you first start hearing rumors?

Me and my dad, we, our relationship was rocky at first.

Yeah.

So, and it was 'cause of me, 'cause of my mouth when I was younger. I had a mouth on me. So I used to come at him crazy and I think he was just tired of me coming at him crazy and he just wanted to get something off his chest. So he told me, it was a possibility that another man could be my father and I should stop coming at him crazy like that. So I took that and I ran with it.

Yeah.

Wow.

So you were in foster care, right?

Mm-hmm.

And how old were you when you adopted out of foster care?

I was 2 years old when I got adopted after being in foster care for so long. My adopted mom actually passed away in 2017, but before then I had, Emancipated myself, I guess.

Right, right.

So I was with her from 2013 up until I was grown.

Until you were grown. And were you ever told why you were in foster care?

I was told that my mom didn't wanna handle her responsibilities.

Mm-hmm.

'Cause it wasn't just me, it was my other little sister too.

And so was your birth mother in your life growing up?

Yes, she was there. I've been knowing her. She came for birthdays, holidays, but It wasn't consistent. Like, she was, I hate to say it, but a holiday mom.

Oh, okay, okay. What was your childhood like with your adoptive mother?

It was, it wasn't the best, but you know, we had a roof over our head, food to eat, clothes on our back. I went to school, got straight A's, but as far as—

Good job.

As far as like her being A mom, I ain't never feel that.

Never felt that way. Did you feel loved in your adoptive home?

Not at all.

Not at all.

Not even a little bit.

And that's why you emancipated yourself or left to your aunt's house?

Yeah.

Okay. Did you ever feel abandoned or unwanted as a child?

Very much. Very much so. Very much. And it come from her. Like my adoptive mom used to say like little slick stuff that I don't feel like you should say to a kid. Like she would tell me that my mom ain't never wanted me or my mom was this and this and that type shit. So it's just like, can I cuss?

You can do whatever you want.

Okay. So she was like, she would tell me little things like that, but she wouldn't fill in that void, you know? So it's like I was closed off.

I'm gonna make sure that I use you as a teaching moment for people. So when you have a child in your life and y'all say they got a mouth on 'em, a child only has a mouth because of things that have been said to them or told to them and then they react to it. And so it's so easy for us to hear them and say, you had a mouth on you. But what it was is that you had people, adults in your life that should've been protecting you, but instead they said things to you and that's where you learned that. So I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry. Why did that hit you?

I told myself I wasn't gonna cry.

I know. I know, baby.

It's something I don't like talking about. Like, I suppress all this.

Yeah.

'Cause it's like, why?

Yeah.

My question was always, why me?

Why?

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

I know, love.

So what drove you to run away and live with another family member? It was all of this stuff going on?

I actually didn't run away and that story is just so crazy. So my adopted mom had taken me to go see my biological family. So I chilled with them. I met my great-grandma for the first time, met my grandma, met all of them and she left me there for 3 days. So I'm at my auntie house and I get a call. Well, my auntie gets a call, and she she basically tells me that my adopted mom is upset at me, and to bring me back home. And da da da da. Mind you, she brought me there. You could have came and picked me up.

Yeah.

So in her head, she told the she told the courts that I had ran away. Oh. So I'm like, okay. So from then, I got put on house arrest, was in the judicial system, and I think this that was the second time she put me on house arrest. So I cut my house arrest bracelet off, then I ran away to my auntie. That was my safe space, my auntie.

Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. And when did you first hear about Antwon?

I've been hearing about him all my life.

Your entire life?

Yeah.

Okay. They just had that doubt 'cause they were supposed to have been did a DNA test, but I guess my mom backed out last minute. She didn't wanna participate. So yeah, they said he was willing, he wanted to do it. He was there, he was always there. He went to every visitation, everything. It was my mom.

Got it. Is Antwon the one that said you had a mouth?

Yes.

That's the one who told you? So that's the one that's here today?

Yeah.

Got it. So what did your mom tell you about Antwon that—

He wasn't a good guy.

Okay.

He wasn't— It's so crazy 'cause my adoptive mom had all good things to say about him.

Yeah. Well, from your feelings, what was it like? 'Cause you said that he showed up to every meeting and everything. He was trying. So for you, did you feel like he was trying to show up for you?

I do, and I feel like I took my mom's perception of him and made it my own before I just told myself like, okay, chill, like hear him out. So when I finally heard him out, he's an amazing man.

Got it, okay then. And how would you describe your current relationship with him?

We locked in.

You and him are locked in? We locked in. Okay then. What has he meant to you emotionally over all these years?

I don't wanna say void, but he done filled a little void for me a little bit. Like, even if he not, we still gonna be locked in.

Yeah, I hear that. If Antwon is your father, what would that mean to you?

Everything.

Yeah.

Like everything. It'll be, this chapter is finally closed. Yeah.

And if he isn't your father, what do you fear losing?

Respect for my mom, most of all. and I don't wanna pursue whoever it may be.

You don't wanna pursue?

Mm-mm.

Why?

I don't wanna open another chapter. I'll be cool. You'll be cool. I'll be about to— I'll be 29 this year. I'll be cool.

Okay then. Well, I think it's time to meet your potential father, Antwon. So everyone please welcome Antwon to the show.

I've been crying.

Hey Antwon, how you doing, man? How you doing? I'm good, thank you. Thanks for being here.

Thank you.

So were you with Shawna Were you around Supree's mother throughout the pregnancy?

Yes, I was.

And when you found out her mom was pregnant, how did you step up in your opinion?

Started coming around more 'cause we really weren't like a couple, but started coming around more, checking on her, you know, making sure she do go to her appointments 'cause she's stubborn and just trying to show my appearance and be there for her.

Yeah.

Because we both was young.

Do you believe at the time that you were Supree's father?

Yes, I did.

Uh-huh, you did.

I cut the umbilical cord.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, I was there.

So at what point did you start to have doubts of being her father?

When it was time for us to go set the paternity, um, in our city, in the court building, I went and her mom decided not to go. So I started getting kind of doubts, but it didn't stop me from talking and communicating and doing little things for her.

Got it. So what did you feel when you tried to get the custody and it didn't happen?

I was kind of crushed.

'Cause you tried to get custody?

Yeah, I did. I was crushed and I feel— I felt like I was being robbed of trying to be a first-time parent.

Yeah.

'Cause how old were you when all this was going on?

18.

You were 18?

Yes.

So you were a baby too?

Pretty much.

Did anyone explain why custody was denied to you?

I think custody was denied because of the, She got adopted out and they got full custody.

Got it. Did you go on to have other children?

Yes, I got like 12 kids. 12?

Yes.

Okay. And I'm there for all of 'em.

Got it.

I might not be the best in some of their eyes, but I'm there for all of 'em.

Got it. What would you have done differently back then if you knew the truth?

I should have fought harder, first of all. And I probably would've made sure I got custody instead of her going somewhere else.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Shapree, that made you get emotional. Why hearing that made you emotional?

I'm emotional overall. Just every time he talk.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Yeah.

'Cause I don't feel like it was fair to him. Like I put myself in his shoes.

Yeah.

It wasn't fair to him.

Yeah.

That he tried and I hate, like, I just hate that he feel like he failed.

Mm, got it. How did her absence impact you emotionally?

Impacted me emotionally? Man, as I started having girls, I got kind of distant from them. I don't know if it was, it wasn't because I didn't wanna be a parent, it was just, Like I was starting to get a bond with her and I guess I was scared to get hurt.

Again.

Again.

Yeah, for them to rip away another one of your children.

Yes.

Makes sense. What was it like reuniting with her when she was 16?

A while.

Yeah?

It was a while. Yeah, we talked, communicated. I just let her know like, you know, I might be able to, can't be here financially, but as far as conversation, advice, and being a dad, I can do that for you.

Mm-hmm. What role do you wanna play in her life moving forward?

Mm, just still be able to get her advice. Either which way, I still wanna be able to get her advice. Still that person she can call, you know, and be there for the grandbaby.

Got it. Okay then. Well, Sharpreet, are you ready for the truth?

Yeah.

You are ready?

Well, I think it's time. Come on with me. Sharpreet, in this envelope is a letter is your truth. You have had a childhood where you have wanted connection, you've wanted love, and you thought you had some of that, but then you found out that the person who was raising you that was your father might not actually be yours, and it's left you with questions that you wanted answered. So in this envelope is that truth to know who you are and where you come from.

Okay.

It's your truth to open, not mine.

Oh.

Here you go, good luck.

Oh.

Oh my God. Okay. Even if you're not, we still locked in.

For sure.

Oh, my God, I'm shaking. 12 years. 12 years. What is that? He's not.

He's not?

He's not. Like, for real? Y'all for real? All that shit I talked, all that extra shit, All that.

What's wrong, baby?

All that.

All that.

I'm sorry, beautiful. I'm really sorry.

All that. All that extra stuff.

Can I ask you, you were around during that time, do you know potentially who could be the other father?

There was one other guy I thought about. I even told her, but that's about it.

That's it. I will tell you this, Sharpreet, that this is gonna be a moment of grieving this relationship and this idea. And take your time with that. Take your time, feel all the feels. You know? But you said to me earlier that you don't wanna lose hope if this was not your father. And I wanna let you know there's no need for you to lose hope. Because there are people that love you. I'm watching a man hold you. There are people that love you and wanna support you. You don't feel that way?

No, I'm just shaking my head.

I know. I'll tell you this. Change your mind, and I want you to take your time, and you want us to help you to get answers, we will do everything in our power to help you get those answers.

I don't wanna find him. I don't care.

You don't care?

I don't care.

This is not a question for you to answer now, 'cause I need you to process and grieve this. And so you take as much time as you need with that. And I'm very sorry that the answers didn't turn out we were all hoping they would turn out. Is there anything that you'd like to say?

No. Nothing?

Well, I would ask that your mother could hopefully come forward with some answers for you or just something.

I ain't got nothing to say to her.

You ain't got nothing to say to her? Well, even if you don't have anything to say, I would hope that as your mother and as a child that she could give you some answers. Thank you for all you've done for the years.

Thank you, sir.

Yeah, because at 18 you were told information and you did the best you could. with the resources you had.

Yes.

Again, if you ever need any support, we're here for you, okay?