In this episode of KARAMO, host Karamo interviews a guest (Speaker B) about her postāseparation coāparenting relationship with her exāpartner Marcus. The conversation reveals a yearālong separation after a 4ā5āyear relationship that produced two children. While the coāparenting arrangement is generally functional, the pair repeatedly clash over communication style. The guest explains that Marcus frequently tells her to ācalm downā whenever she expresses frustration or asks for help with routine parenting tasks, and that this phrase is a major emotional trigger for her. Karamo and the guest discuss how these triggers affect everyday interactions, the importance of clear communication, and the need to shield the children from conflict. The host also offers broader advice: when communication breaks down, itās better to move on than stay in an unhealthy dynamic. The episode blends personal anecdotes, practical coāparenting tips, and reflective commentary on managing exāpartner relationships for the sake of the children.
Chapters
Marcus, your ex who you co-parent with.
Yes.
Is someone who uses words to trigger you?
Oh yeah.
All the time?
Yes. I always have to speak my mind. If I don't speak my mind, I feel like you would never really understand how the way I actually feel.
Okay.
So I have to let you know.
And what is his response normally when you speak your mind?
Oh, you're speaking too loud. You need to calm down. And the calming down is a top trigger for me. Like, don't tell me to calm down when I'm being passionate. About how the way I feel.
And so tell me about your relationship with Marcus then.
So my relationship with Marcus is pretty cool. We co-parenting pretty well. We've been separated for about a year now. Things been A-okay, but it's just the communication with us. At times it can go extremely well when I'm able to get my point across. But then after a while he will tend to say to me, again, calm down or why you talking to me that way? And it could be the simplest things. Help one of the kids with the homeworks or can you go grab something from the grocery store or anything in that sort. And it's just, And if you respond, he then will say something to you? It's just certain times that I respond that he just take it to another level. Got it.
How long were y'all together?
For about 4 to 5 years now.
Okay then, so it's not. And how many children do you have together?
2.
Nice, okay.
Yes.
So then tell me, why did you break up? Was it because of the way heā
We just outgrew on each other. You know what, first though, communication is key. So when things don't actually go too well when you're communicating with somebody in a relationship, it's like after a while, You gotta hang it up.
Yeah, completely.
I mean, friendship, relationship, whatever you wanna call it.
Thank you for knowing that because let me tell you something, how many people I be telling 'em, listen, if the communication's not right, figure out a way to move on before you stay and think like that.
For what though, if it's not healthy?
Okay, for what though? Let me tell you something. For what though? I'm gonna start saying on this show, every time somebody say, well baby, I love him, but I'm be like, but for what though? That's from you. So tell me about your co-parenting relationship with Marcus.
It's really the communication. It's really the communication.
Oh, look at that.
Yep, those are my babies. Yeah.
Is that Marcus?
Yep, that's Marcus.
I haven't seen him yet, so okay. How long ago was this photo taken?
I wanna say this is where we went to a spot in Jacksonville to do a family trip, maybe about a year ago.
Okay.
I wanna say maybe roughly a year.
So when you two argue, 'cause y'all look so happy here, when you two argue, what does he say to trigger you?
Sometimes the photos could, listen.
Listen.
Let's talk about it, okay?
Okay. You would be posting these photos andā
But you gotta do, it's not necessarily doing it for the photo, the sake of the kids.
For the kids.
Let's be real. Like, you know what I'm saying? For the sake of the kids, you still don't want them to see the other side of certain things. So you try not to argue, you try not to say certain things, you try to watch the tone. But when I get there, I get there.
Yeah. So what does he say to trigger you?
It's really the calm, it's really the calming down. I'm telling you to do a simple thing far as help, help Zamir with his homework. You get what I'm saying? I don't, I don't know how to do this. You, you, you know how to do it. Why can't you just help him? But my tone, I just feel like it just sets the tone for him to say, "You need to calm down," or, "You need to stop doing this." And that just makes you more upset. Yeah, don't tell me to calm down.
