If You're Using Our Kids To Cheat, Our Marriage Is Over! | KARAMO

Please tell me, why don't you trust Austin? That's his name, right?

Yes.

Yes, why don't you trust him?

Well, there's many reasons why I don't trust him. I mean, an accuser's always the one that's usually doing something, right?

Sometimes, yeah.

Most of the time. I mean, we both go at it, so he accuses me all the time. I don't trust him 'cause I know he's done some stuff that he denies.

How long y'all been together?

Total of 11 years.

11 years.

11 years.

And did he block you on social media?

Yes.

How did you, that's crazy, that's wild.

I'm his wife, I know.

Yeah, how did you find out that he blocked you?

I was trying to send him a message and I couldn't send it, so I went through his phone, seen that I was blocked.

Yeah, and what did he say?

Nothing, he literally just brushed it off. He just brushed it off like, if you're not hiding anything, why are you blocking me?

Yeah.

You know?

So 11 years together, are you married?

Yes.

You're married, do you have children?

Yes.

How many children do you have?

5.

Married?

5.

5 children, okay. And he blocks you on social media? Let me get off of that.

Yeah, it's just, it's annoying because like—

And y'all live in the same house?

Yes.

Interesting, okay. Have you ever found evidence of him cheating?

Yes, I have.

Oh, you have?

A couple months ago I went through, I felt this, you know, 'cause he's always acting really, he's meaner than he usually is, you know? So I went through his phone, seen that he had a conversation with this female, asked him about it. He's gonna deny everything, obviously. So I go to the source and I said, woman to woman, if you felt something about your man, wouldn't you wanna know the truth? She said, yes, I understand. Okay, well, here I am. He said, well, you guys weren't together, we're married. The thing you knew that we're married and you knew that we live together, so why would you?

Well, first, did he admit anything?

No.

He didn't admit anything?

He tried to blame it on his friend. He said his friend was using his phone to text this female. That doesn't make sense to me.

Okay, well, there's something that you said right now that I can't skip over. You said, "He's meaner than he usually is." Does he verbally abuse you?

Yes, he does.

Okay, what does he say to you?

I'm a fat, ugly, everything you could ever imagine.

He calls you fat and ugly?

Yes, every day. I don't know when's the last time he called me pretty.

You don't know the last time he called you pretty?

No.

How long has this type of—

He calls me a bitch too, so.

He calls you a bitch?

Mm-hmm.

And how long has this behavior been going on? You've been together for 11 years, has it?

Forever. Like, I can't tell you the last time he called me pretty, but I can tell you the last time he called me ugly.

I'm sorry, first of all. How do you respond when he says those things to you?

It's hurtful 'cause like you don't, you wanna be called pretty, you know? Like I found him with this friend, you know, like he was messaging this friend talking about, "Oh, happy birthday with your fine ass." Okay, you can tell a random ass person, a girl, that they're fine, but you can't tell your wife that they're pretty? That she's pretty?

Okay. Have you ever been unfaithful to him?

Yes, I have. No, he knows I have. And if he would've been doing everything a man should do at home, do you think I'm gonna go looking for somebody else? The guy that I was with, he showed me Everything I wanted to hear from my husband.

How long did that affair go on?

Like 6 months.

6 months.

And you know, when he found out, I didn't care no more. Like I didn't care, oh, he wants to cry about it, like that he was really hurt. Well, I was hurt every day that you've been calling me names. I've been hurt every day that you've been putting me down. But you didn't care then. And I didn't even know you loved me until I had to cheat.

Yeah.

'Cause when's the last time you told me you loved me? I don't remember either.

I didn't know you loved me until I cheated.

Yeah.

That's wild. So when did this happen?

This was in 2020.

2020. Is he over it now? Have you all worked through that?

No.

No. So he's still accusing you now?

Yeah, yeah.

And how often does he accuse you?

Almost every day. Like anytime I leave the house, it's obviously I'm cheating. And I don't leave, I leave the house with my kids. I'm cheating with my kids in the car. Like it doesn't make sense.

Well, it's happened before. I'm not saying the accusations are right, but it's happened before. My daddy used to cheat and he used to bring me along.

But I have 5 kids with me, you know?

He did. That was his excuse that he was with me. So I'm not saying you're doing that, but—

He says that. He's like, "Oh, you can use that as an excuse and drop him off at your mom's house." It happens, it happens.

And again, I'm not saying that that's what happened, but I mean, the reality is that it can happen.

Yeah, and I agree.

Are you ready to walk away if we find something in his phone?

At this point, yes, because like all the accusing and all the puts-downs and like everything you do to me, why should I stay with you when it's you doing everything that you're telling me I'm doing.

Well, you told my unlock the phone investigator you want to know if Austin is communicating with specific women, if Austin is making any late night calls to anyone, and if Austin has been texting any women. All right, I think it's time to hear Austin's side of the story. So everyone please welcome Austin to the show.

How you doing?

Hey Austin. Thank you for being here, man. Yeah, absolutely. Nice to meet you. Yeah, nice to meet you as well. So how do you feel about what was just said?

She's trying to make me, I'm the victim.

Yeah.

You're the victim.

You're the victim.

Right.

Okay, how are you the victim? Tell me.

So she offered me to get a job at her job, right? And so I did. And the first day at the job, I went on break and I had this letter in my jacket to tell me when I opened it up to read it that How can I work with your mother-in-law and wife knowing that they fucking on the team? I mean.

Yeah.

That means.

Oh, you got a letter from your coworker saying that she was cheating? Her coworker, they don't even know me yet.

That's the first day there.

Who was the girl? It was a female that was trying to get with him.

She doesn't even know me. She don't even know me.

And she left a note in your pocket saying that you had had sex with multiple people.

She typed it out.

At work?

Yeah.

Have you fully forgiven her for cheating?

No.

No.

No. No.

If he would've, we would've left that 4 years ago.

She's my wife and she cheated on me.

Yeah.

You're my husband and you cheated on me.

Nah, I'm the victim, okay? Nice try. Nice try.

You're not the victim.

So then Austin, I gotta ask you and I'm gonna be clear and this is the same thing I would ask any woman on this stage. If you feel betrayed and you feel hurt, why stay?

Man, 'cause I got beautiful children.

That's what I asked you.

I got my babies, man.

Why would I wanna start over?

I wouldn't wanna, I don't, I don't know.

But you did, you went with another female friend.

So then how can she gain your trust?

She gotta show me that she wants to be that woman.

Why should I though when you treat me like shit every day?

Why?

Why'd you cheat on me every day?

I don't cheat on you every day. Just because I leave the house doesn't mean I'm cheating on you.

You had a double life.

Okay, Oscar, I wanna be clear. Did you ask her to unlock her phone?

No, 'cause I already unlocked it myself and I seen what I seen.

But if you know we're a show that we can get things that are deleted, we can find things that could be secret apps.

I know that.

Right. So you're saying you found all of that?

I found what I needed to find.

How long ago did you last check her phone?

2 years ago.

2 years ago. So 2 years ago you checked her phone, 4 years ago is when she cheated.

He goes based off the past. He doesn't go based off now.

So I need to understand why not unlock her phone now then if you really want answers?

Why do I need to see it again? I was already hurt from seeing it before.

Well, you need to see something because you consistently are accusing her. So if you want See, I created Unlock the Phone for transparency. Because for individuals just like you, that is why when I got the show, I created this segment. It's because if you need to know what's going on in my relationship, I'm gonna give you the transparency. So therefore you don't have doubts. But you're saying you don't want transparency.

I mean, yeah, I don't.

You're saying you don't want transparency.

Okay, yeah. I already done seen it, man, for myself.

He just keeps going based on the past, and that's where we're stuck.

Do you tell her she's not pretty?

Yeah.

You tell her she's not pretty? Do you tell her that she's fat? Do you tell her she's fat?

Once she open her legs for somebody else, that means it's not my wife.

Do you tell me you're fat? Do you tell me that I'm fat?

That ain't fair. You shouldn't do that when you're married.

Do you tell me I'm fat?

You should be committed to the person that you—

Do you tell her she's fat?

She said I do. I say everything she said, yep.

What?

Yeah, because what? What?

It's your wife.

How am I— That's my wife. Yeah, that's my wife. My wife cheated and let the other— Come on, bro. Come on, take it out. Crazy.

So did you.

I ain't cheat. I don't need to cheat.

All right.

I got big jumps.

Again, I'm gonna ask you again, then why stay? Because it seems like you're accusing.

You're right.

It seems like. You're right. You're right. It seems like you are accusing her.

You're right.

It seems like you're just accusing her to keep the upper hand.

No, no, no.

Do you argue in front of your kids like this?

No.

Okay. Well, I think it's time. To unlock the phone. All right, so Austin, we unlocked your phone. All right, here we go. Karalee, you want to know if Austin is communicating with a specific woman. Austin says he is not. My Unlock the Phone investigator searched his phone and found That he is not telling the truth. We found her contact information recently deleted within the last 2 months from Google Meet and the conversations.

See, I told you.

Karamo, you want to know if Austin has been making any late night calls to anyone. Austin says he has not. My unlock the phone investigator searched his calls and found he's not telling the truth. He tried, he actually deleted his call log 2 days ago thinking that we wouldn't find it.

You thought, you thought.

You deleted your call log 2 days ago.

2 days ago?

Yes.

That's her on my phone.

That's her on my phone. That's me on your phone?

Come on.

Why would I delete it?

Why would I delete it?

Okay.

That's funny.

He must have deleted it because we were coming here.

I'm cheating, okay.

Karalee, you want to know if Austin has been texting any women. He says he has not. My unlock the phone investigator searched his texts and found something suspicious. It's not a text between another woman, but it's something that they wanted me to see. 5 texts between you two. "All right, this is you texting. Text your young ugly fat of a, let you go stay with her 'cause you're gonna need a place." That's what she telling me, yeah. "You definitely can't turn a hoe since the age of 14, 15 into a housewife. You demonstrated that logic. Maybe a little girl can go from blank to a housewife for you. You're a little hoe, 30 years old and still wanna be a hoe that you have always been." 'Cause she's always been. This said, "You idiot, you sure know how to be what you will always be. I don't even have to tell you, you know you a ass bitch." Oh my God. So this is the way you communicate.

And what do you say to me? You say some rude shit, right?

I saw the text. Yeah, yeah.

But the things that you say to me, why wouldn't I react?

Okay. Right. So the things that I'm tracking here are some specific things. First of all, this is an unhealthy relationship. You both are fully aware of that. Mm-hmm. There's a codependency here that I don't know why you have this codependency. Right. I don't know where it comes from. I secondly notice that when I asked you if you're both happy, you said you're not. And I want you both to be aware because you're young that children sense unhappiness. Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Just because you don't argue in front of 'em, they understand that the home that I'm in is not safe. Right. And when children don't feel safe and they feel like the security's taken away, they will start to act out.

Right.

It will change their behavior. It will change so much so much about them because they will be here in relationships that are toxic because they learned that you stay in something unhealthy and you get degraded.

We have 3 daughters.

Austin, what's making you emotional? What's making you emotional? 'Cause I see tears welling up.

We have 3 daughters.

There you go. Here you go. What's making you emotional? Talk to me.

That sucks. You don't ever speak your emotions. That's why we are the way we are right now.

You gotta let it out, whatever's going on. What's going on in your mind?

I'm good, man.

You're not good. You're not good. What is it that you're feeling and thinking about?

Our kids, probably. Do you think our kids deserve this?

You think I deserve this?

Hold on, that's a valid question. That's a valid question. Let me hear you why. Let me tell you why. Because you both engage in abusive language.

Yep.

I believe you both have engaged in cheating. Yes, some behavior is worse and I'm not going to ever not say it's not. But the same way I would say to you, you don't deserve this language, you don't deserve to be in an unhealthy relationship either. Right.

And I tell him that. I said, "The door is wide open for you.

If you don't, you're not happy, then just go." But see, there's something about a cop-out with that because what you're doing is you want him to be able to break the connection so you can just say you don't.

And then when I can do it too. Yeah.

Right.

And y'all got together age where neither of you understood your emotions or how to be in a healthy relationship and have been playing house and that house has already been crumbled, but y'all are still trying to play house. And she's right, you're holding in your emotions.

All the time.

And you need a safe space to be able to talk about what you're going through. You're breaking inside, I see it. This is tearing you both apart. Did you come from a broken home? Yeah. You did. So this is triggering some of the feelings that you felt as a kid. So there was no safety and security when you were young. And that makes more sense to why you make statements, well, I'm gonna stay for the kids.

Yes.

'Cause you wanna try to give them the safety and security you didn't give.

Yeah.

I'm gonna tell y'all, and I want y'all to walk away from this stage knowing this. The truth is both of you have done wrong. Both of you are still doing wrong. Right. But you have a chance to be good co-parents and live healthy lives. I want you to turn to Austin and say, Austin, I want you to have a good life and I want you to laugh like we used to. Tell him that.

Austin, I want you to have a good life and I want you to laugh like you used to. Like get along how we used to.

I want the same for you as well.

Yeah? Now the reason why I'm telling y'all to do that is because I'm hoping that I can teach y'all how to reframe what you say. So instead of the accusations now, instead I want you to say, you know what, I want you to be the laughter. I want you to be happy and it's not with me. Do this for the little kids in you. Do that for those kids that were happy. Do this for your own kids. Have the hard conversation. Time to break this codependency bond and move on. You both deserve by the time y'all 40 to be happy. By the time y'all 32 to be happy, 34 to be happy. And I'm gonna put this in the universe that y'all are both gonna be 34 and happy. I'm gonna be here another 3 years and I'm gonna find y'all number and I'm gonna give y'all a call. And when I get on that call, you gonna be on one side, you gonna be on one side. And all I wanna see is, yeah, I'm happy. Yeah, she used to get on my nerves, but we co-parenting now. And I want smiles from y'all, okay? Does that work? All right, I wish y'all the best of luck. Seriously, I really do.