I'm 51 & My Father Never Claimed Me! | KARAMO

You wanna see this?

Yeah.

This is 51 years of my daddy starting to be in my life, wanna be in my life, but not good enough to sign my birth certificate.

So copy of the birth certificate and he never would've signed it.

Never signed it.

So what prompted him to send this text?

He's delusional.

So you've known your father your entire life, or your potential father your entire life.

I've known him my entire life.

And so he sent this text, I want a DNA test, "Please respond." And you said, "Please stop harassing me." "Please stop harassing me." Yeah.

"You have harassed me for 51 years and you harassed me again 3 weeks ago with that text message." "And you have no idea what you're saying.

Stop your nonsense and quit trying to act so innocent. That's why you don't have peace. So if you ignore me about the DNA, then I will know you are not my daughter and you know it." I should've ignored him. How did it make you feel that he has doubts after all this time?

'Cause he's delusional. And I don't have no idea why he wants to keep stirring up things, just harassing me. He left when I was 6.

Okay.

He brought me a bike and did not return until I was 19 years old so he could avoid paying child support.

Really?

That hurt me. Yeah. Going through my whole life, my adolescence years, a child, an infant, and not having their father. Imagine that.

And so what was your—

I love my daddy.

I'm sorry, yeah. You loved him still even though that happened.

Even today, I still love my daddy because that's the only father I know. Mm-hmm.

So tell me about your relationship after you turned 19.

So he pretended to be in my life until he realized that, wow, this is parenting. Well, this is a lot.

Mm-hmm.

And he disappeared again. I asked for him to walk me down the aisle because I was getting married and he said he would not. That is a girl's dream for a father to be there and walk her down the aisle. I didn't have anybody else.

Why does he think you're not his though?

I don't know, you have to ask him that.

Has he ever given you any reason, any justification, anything?

So in our hometown, he did mention something about, "I don't think she's my daughter." But he had 51 years to prove that.

Yeah.

But now you wanna do it?

I just don't understand what's going on here because if I really thought you weren't my daughter, I'm just gonna be gone. That's just it?

He knows that he's my father and he just wanna keep denying it, coming in and out my life, causing pain, harassing me all the time. He has harassed me when I was 6. He has harassed me when I was 19, trying to hit on me, my friends, my girlfriends. Yes.

He tried to hit on you?

He tried to hit on me by saying things like, oh, you're so beautiful. Do you believe you're my daughter? Because if you weren't, I would date you.

How old were you when that happened?

I was 19, that's when he came in my life and he has set it up to this day. That's why I don't go over his house anymore.

That if you, that he would date you if you were in love?

He would date me, yes. He would date me.

Oh my gosh, I'm sorry to hear that. So he treated you like you were a girlfriend or like you could be one of his girlfriends?

Yes, like one of his women, yeah, yeah.

So at some point did you move in with him?

No, well I did. It was temporary move-in. I had lost my job.

What age were you?

Wow, maybe like 32.

Okay, 32.

Yeah, and I needed my dad. I could've went to my hometown, the town that I wanted to go to officially, but my son was still in school, so he had to finish his school year and I didn't wanna abrupt him and take him to where we were going to end up being, right? 2 months, my dad bangs on the door. I mean like the cops. And I'm like, wow, what is going on? 6 o'clock in the morning, wakes me out of my sleep and says, I want you and your kids, his grandkids, always referred to them as your kids. I want you out of my house. All because of $83, what is that called? Garbage disposal. My son's young, he was washing dishes and the rag fell in there and he turned on the garbage disposal and it broke. I didn't have a job and he wanted me to go out and get a Minute Maid job They pay you hourly so I can pay for that dishwasher. He kicked us out and I needed him. He's never been there. He criticized me about, oh, do you believe you're my daughter? You know, because you're a little darkie. Darkie. It's, oh, you sure you're a Black girl 'cause you don't have a butt.

He said those things to you?

He still says it to this day. He's so creepy to be around.

Yeah. Can I ask you this, sir? Do you agree that you've denied her saying that sometimes you were her father and sometimes you weren't? Is that a true statement?

It might have occurred every now and then.

Okay, so that's a yes.

That's a thank you.

So yes.

Thank you.

So yes, there's been times that you have doubted the paternity.

Yes. I got a reason for doubting the paternity.

What was that reasoning?

There are several reasons. First of all, the timeline just don't add up.

Okay.

You didn't have your 3 minutes of fame, okay?

And wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

I wanna hear his timeline.

Now let me have my say. Her mom and I, we had an encounter, what I can best recollect. Happened in June of 1971.

How old were you at the time?

About 19.

19 years old, okay.

Okay.

So you weren't ready to be a parent?

I wasn't ready to be a parent. And so then next thing you know, she tells me she's pregnant somewhere around about 6 months later. And I'm like, well, what you want me to do? At that time, back then, that's what we said. I understand. Okay, so we left it alone. My name was never put on the birth certificate.

We know that.

And at the same time, the timeline just didn't add up.

And what was that timeline?

Well, I don't recall having any encounters with her mom in January. So the timeline just didn't add up.

Got it.

I spoke to my mom yesterday and she said—

I don't care if you spoke to your mom, 'cause number one, a mom can say anything. Your mama's baby, daddy's making. The bottom line, I'll let you talk. But you know what? Let me talk. Let me talk. Let me talk.

You have plenty of money.

And the reason why you got that text message—

When I asked for $3,000.

Wait a minute, hold up, hold up, hold up. I should've got it before you asked for $10,000.

No, I didn't ask you for any money. You gave that to me. You just sit here and said you took me back to the bedroom and you gave me $10,000. I didn't ask you for anything.

Hold up. I don't need anything from you.

You have asked.

Because you're my father, what care does that make?

Wait a minute, hold up.

I don't need anything from you. If I'm such a father, you would've spent 10 years down in Houston, and I never called you.

Oh, thank you.

Because I never need you.

Well, thank you.

You followed me to Texas.

Oh, hold up here.

I didn't follow you.

Hold up, ain't no following.

You followed, yes, you did.

Ain't no following.

You asked me to pick out your house.

I ain't got to follow you nowhere.

But that text. The text that says, this text.

That was just a mind game. 'Cause you know Rhonda don't see, but Rhonda likes to see that text.

That's exactly what it is. Playing mind games.

But that's what has happened to her her entire life.

No, it ain't. No, it ain't. No, it ain't. You know what I believe?

Okay, tell me, sir.

Please have him sit down because this makes me nervous. I have went to his house several times.

So this is my question for you. I got two questions. And the first one, and I just need a yes or no. She made allegations that she said that you would hit on her.

She's a lie. 'Cause I always complimented, she's a beautiful girl, okay? Why can't I, wait a minute, hold on.

He has called me a bitch. He has threatened to slap me in my face.

You're lying.

That's why I don't go over your house. That's why you stand up.

You're lying.

I'm intimidated by you. You're lying. So are we here for DNA or are we here to continue to insult?

I think it's time because In this envelope is the DNA truth. This is the DNA truth. You have waited 51 years for this answer. So this is your truth to open.

Mm-hmm.

Why she get those?

It's your truth. It's her truth. She's a child.

I'm gonna ask for it.

It's her truth. It's her truth to know if this is your father or not.

Just listening to him today, it reminds me of so much pain that I've felt over the years. I have been disrespected, dragged. Dragged? Over and over again. He has been in and out of my life over. I can't heal this pain in my heart until I see if he really is my dad. Maybe he is. He will change of how he treated me. But if he's not my father, then that makes sense because he has treated me like trash my whole life. He has never been there. He's always been inconsistent and in and out. This hurts. And just knowing that this is a lot. It may not mean anything to y'all, but it means everything to me. It means that I have an identity. It means that I know where I come from, even if he chooses to deny me. But right here's the truth, you will never deny me again.

Your truth to open.

Yeah, I knew it. He is my father.

Now, what you gonna do about it?

And I want him to sign this paper.

You wanna sign that birth certificate?

I want— 51 years I have went through life without his name on my birth certificate, where he could have found me and done this his own, but he refused to. But today you gonna sign it. What?

Can I say this much?

Yeah, you can.

Before I sign this piece of paper that means a lot to me, you're not gonna talk to me any kind of way you wanna talk to me. I'm not your boyfriend. You need to learn some kind of way where we both can get along with one another without you lashing out at me. Stop the lies. I wasn't always there in your younger years, but I was there when you needed me, when you told me you needed me.

So can I tell you something, sir? And this is not to invalidate the things that you did do when you were there because I understand the doubt and the pain you probably felt as a young man. I'm sure at 19 there was people in your life that probably made you feel like this couldn't be your child. And I know when you have conflicting feelings in your heart, especially as a young man, and also the time, the time, 1970s, the way things are different from now on.

Definitely than it is now.

They are, and I understand that and I respect that. But in this moment, even in that speech you said, "I'm sorry for those years as a child I was not there." And this is what I need you to understand, is that those are formative years that dictate a child's attitude, mental health, the way they see their self-esteem, self-worth, way they see how they're going to be able to interact in the world, how she picks relationships. A lot of that is dictated by those early years, 1 through 18, 1 through 25. And if a father or mother is present and if they're healthy. And so, yes, You were there later, you came with some money here and there. But those years when she needed to figure out, am I secure? Does someone love me? If a boy treats me a certain way, is someone there to protect me and tell me I deserve better than that? You were not there. And what she deserves in this moment, on top of that paper being signed, is a sorry. Not a scolding about her disrespectful ways now that were a direct result of you not being there. Can you give her that?

I can give you that wholeheartedly if you just scoot over a little bit. Scoot over a little bit. I'm gonna scoot over towards you.

Yeah. You act right now.

You my baby.

You good.

You finished scolding? I asked her if she finished scolding me and beating me down.

I need for you to sign.

Oh, okay. Right here. Donnie. There you go, Pam.

Thank you.

I'll tell you this, I'll tell you this. The beauty of what has happened here is she hasn't given up hope of having a relationship with her father. And I know from, even though you were inconsistent, there is love in your heart for her and there is healing that can happen here. And I think y'all can get that for each other.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I believe we can. And like I said, I'm sorry I wasn't there for all the younger years, but I certainly tried to be there for you for the rest of your life.

There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go.