In this episode of Karamo, the host mediates a heated confrontation between a 25‑year‑old mother (Speaker B) and the father of her two children, Sam, who is 30. Speaker B recounts a pattern of Sam repeatedly abandoning the family: he left shortly after the birth of their first child, re‑engaged, got engaged, then fled again around New Year’s, only to return sporadically while she was pregnant with their second child. The mother describes living in shelters and churches for five months, juggling two jobs, relying on her parents for daycare support, and caring for a four‑year‑old in therapy and a three‑year‑old who asks why dad isn’t there. Sam admits he is unemployed, an alcoholic, suffers panic attacks, and has blocked the mother on social media. He claims he “is not ready” to be a father, refuses therapy, and rarely contacts his children. Karamo probes Sam’s background, uncovering an absent father and a dysfunctional relationship with his mother, which he describes as enabling. The host repeatedly emphasizes that Sam is not in a position—emotionally, financially, or mentally—to support his children and urges the mother to let go of false expectations. Karamo offers concrete assistance, promising to pay for a house‑cleaning service and encourages the mother to seek support, focus on her self‑esteem, and consider rehab or therapy for Sam. The episode ends with Karamo expressing pride in the mother’s steps forward and a call to action for viewers.
Chapters
Please tell me, what is your biggest issue with Sam?
My biggest issue with Sam is that he is a completely absent father. He runs away every chance he possibly gets, right when things get hard.
So what do you mean when you say that he's been an absent father?
Absent father, he left when our first, when our oldest kid was 6 months old. Since then, he's come back and left more times than I can count.
He's 30, right?
He is 30 years old. I am 25.
Okay. So when did you guys start dating? Take me back.
We started dating at the end of 2017.
2017, okay, great. And then when did you find out you were pregnant?
We found out that we were pregnant 2 weeks after we started dating.
2 weeks, ooh!
Yes, it happened very quickly.
I hear that. Oh, look at that beautiful baby. Oh my gosh, he's so cute. So when did you get engaged?
We got engaged originally in October. Of 2018.
2018, so a year later.
Yeah, and he left me on New Year's. We were engaged to be married on January 14th.
And he left you on New Year's.
On New Year's.
And did you two get back together after that?
We ended up getting back together. So he left in January and then in February we weren't together but we slept together. I found out I was pregnant in March, I believe. And we still weren't together. He was upset with me. He was mad at me that he got me pregnant, which just—
He was mad at you?
He was mad at me and I had no idea how this was possible.
As if he wasn't there?
Exactly, like it takes two people.
Yeah.
And he stayed, he proposed to me again. It wasn't a big grand gesture, but he had proposed again and he left again when our youngest was 3 months old and I had a 1-year-old.
How do your kids take their father being missing?
So my 4-year-old, he knows who his dad is.
Yeah.
He asks why dad isn't there. He's asked, he's come home from daycare and broke my heart asking me why so-and-so gets picked up by mom and dad. My 3-year-old, it's almost equally as horrific, just the other side of the spectrum. He doesn't know any better. Yeah. His dad's never been around. He doesn't have that connection. He doesn't think, oh, why isn't my dad here? Our oldest, Asher, knows and he's in therapy.
Mm-hmm. At 4 years old. When was the last time he saw the kids?
December.
December. Does he help you financially?
No, not at all.
What's going on right now? What's making you emotional?
I, talking about my kid in therapy, I think.
Yeah.
He's only 4. Yeah, here you go, little one. Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah, he doesn't help me financially at all. If anything, I help him.
My producer told me that you were homeless and during the time you were homeless with his children, he blocked you.
Yes.
Can you explain what happened?
So he had me blocked on everything a little bit before I became homeless for 5 months. I was homeless. We stayed at a shelter. We slept in churches every night. And meanwhile, he was off with another girl. He had me blocked. He never even got the opportunity to learn that we were homeless because he didn't give a shit in the first place.
Does he have a job? Is he working right now? He's not working.
No.
Okay.
With him not there, with no support, I spend every single day, I get up before the sun comes up most days. I get my kids up, we get them to day— I get them to daycare. My parents help me. Yeah. I get them to daycare. I go to one job, I leave that job, go to the other job, leave that job, go back to the other job, then go get my kids from daycare, go home, take care of them every single weekday. And then on the weekends I feel like I'm a terrible mother because I don't have the energy to do things with my kids that I want to. And I should not have to do that. I should have any kind of support.
Yeah. I think it's time that we meet Sam. Please welcome Sam to the show.
Heard you're back there laughing. You just laughing? Is this just the funniest shit to you?
I mean, some of it's kind of funny.
Some of it's kind of funny?
No, in all sincerity, take a seat for me. Sam, nice to meet you. My producers were letting us know that you were laughing backstage. We're talking about you and your children We're talking about your son being in therapy. We're talking about these things. So she has a valid question though.
My kid being in therapy, I don't take as a joke. I don't think that's funny. It's just some of the, you know, some of the stories she was telling.
Like what? This is your opportunity. I wanna hear your point of view as well.
Yeah, let's hear it.
Don't look at me. Which one? Which one do you wanna hear?
What were you laughing about?
What stories was funny to you? Her being homeless, you two being engaged, and then you leaving. You blocking her on social media? I'm trying to recount in my head what could be funny.
I only block her on social media because she will not, like, I try to do what I can, what I can. Again, I have no job. I barely have a house.
Why don't you have a job?
I'm useless. I don't know. Never mind, never mind. I'm trying. I just can't get out of anywhere right now.
Why do you keep leaving your family?
I'm not ready to be there.
You're not ready to be there?
I'm not ready to be there.
You're not ready? You are 30 years old. I'm 25.
I know.
I didn't have the choice in this. I can't just run away. Oh, I'm not ready. I'm not ready. Oh, oh, no, I'm not ready still. No, I made the decision and I stuck by it and you need to do the same.
What exactly do you mean by you're not ready to be there. What does that mean?
Well, just as she said, I'm a child. I'm not an adult. I'm not, I don't know. I panic about everything. Like even being here right now, like.
A lot of people panic about a lot of things.
It was very difficult to even get me here in the first place. I, you know, I've.
How many times have I asked you to go to therapy to learn coping mechanisms for your panic attacks? I have panic attacks. I'm sure. Many people have panic attacks every day that they have healthy coping mechanisms and they don't freak out and just leave.
So why haven't you taken one?
I won't go to therapy.
Why? I just won't do it. He's told me I'm not gonna pay somebody to tell me a bunch of stuff that I already know.
It's not wrong. Mm-hmm.
How do you feel about your children?
I love them to death and I hate myself every day that I'm not there for 'em, but I just, I am who I am.
Can you tell me why Maxwell has a headband on? Can you tell me why? Um, no. Because he got stitches in his head, but you didn't know.
Do you miss those kids?
Yeah. You had no idea because this picture was actually taken while I was homeless. These beautiful bushes are in front of the homeless shelter. That we stayed at. We were gifted those outfits for Easter because we were put up in a hotel for Easter because the shelter was nice enough to do something nice for the families. A church gifted us those Easter outfits.
How does it make you feel that he was living in a shelter when that photo was taken?
No, I hate that. I don't like it. I'm not proud of myself. I hate myself every day about it. I'm not proud of myself. I can't make any more excuses, you know?
So stop making excuses then. We should not have had to fly. We are from the other side of the country. There is no reason we should have gone this far just for this. This should have been solved years ago. Years ago.
So you say, you say, I hate, you say, I hate myself. You say, I, you know, these are the way I feel. So what are you willing to do to improve this?
I really just wanna be there for my kids. I want everything to be normal, like casual.
What is normal to you? What does normal mean?
I don't know. What is normal?
I don't know. 'Cause to me normal means having my family back.
When Asher was first born, I literally lost 2 jobs because I couldn't get any sleep because every time I got off work, I had to watch him and then—
Do you even call the kids?
No. No.
Why? 'Cause that has nothing to do with you losing sleep or you having a job.
I mean, to be honest, it's a personal mental crap. It's my fault. I just don't like being, I don't like talking on the phone.
So we've established that you deserve a phone.
I don't like talking on the phone with my own parents.
Do you have addiction issues?
Yes, I'm an alcoholic.
Okay, okay.
I'd like to put it out there, since I work two jobs and I love my jobs, I've told him multiple times if he were to come back, I wouldn't, he wouldn't need to work. I know, I know, hear me out. I love my job. I absolutely love working. But the thing about working two jobs and taking care of kids is my house, my house stresses me out. I've literally told him if he wants to be a house husband, maybe get a part-time job, the kids are in daycare, I'm not against that. But keep the house clean, help me get the kids from daycare so I can work a full day, that'd be fine by me.
Sam, was your father in your life?
My dad moved to Michigan when I was 8.
So your father wasn't in your life? No. What was your relationship like with your mom?
With my mom? She's—
Unhealthy.
Very unhealthy, but, well, hold on, no.
Every time you ran away, who would run to— No, it's not healthy.
She did everything for me, she raised me, she's an enabler.
Okay, well, at the end of the day here, there's a couple things that's first. I believe that your self-esteem issues have nothing to do with this father stuff, and the self-hate you have has to do more with your alcoholism. And so that is something that you need to focus on and be able to get a handle of. It can take time, especially with you going on.
I've gone from every damn day a week to weekends and—
I appreciate that.
I don't think that's true.
You wouldn't know. Before yesterday, I was 5 days sober.
Yeah. 5 days. Sam, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you, man.
Thank you, everybody.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm gonna have you step back. Okay, so the reason that I told Sam to leave is because this would've been a never-ending circle that's never gonna be solved here. Sam is not in a place at all where he could actually be a supportive father to your kids at all.
No.
In actuality, you are better off and those kids are better off without him in their life right now. And that's just the truth of the matter. So I don't even wanna spend time, spend time trying to say, hey, hey, hey, you should be there. What could you mean? Because he can't. He will not physically be able to be there. He will not mentally be able to be there, not emotionally be able to do either.
It's rehab and therapy.
Yeah, but he's not in a space to want either of those things because the self-loathing, that stuff is so deep. So the reason I'm telling you this stuff is because you gotta let it go. You gotta let it go. Then I gotta make sure you understand something is that you talked about his relationship with his mother and how she enabled him. You have literally mimicked the same relationship that he has with his mother. When you say things like, I wish he was living with us, I would like him to be a house husband, he doesn't have to do anything if he could just be there. These are the same things that the woman who had him around allowed him to get into this pattern. The thing is, is that this is not for me to beat you up. It's actually for me to empower you.
Yeah.
I'm letting you hear your own words so you can hear and understand that he's not the man for you. And I wish that I would've known that sooner so that I could have empowered you more as a woman to work on your self-esteem to work on yourself as a mother so that way you can continue to be the best version of you so that you and these kids can continue to grow and flourish. Yeah. Because that's what really the focus needs to be on. This man will never be able to show up for you in the way that you want him to show up for you.
And I feel like I've been able to recognize that for years, but I still can't like fully accept it because when we are, oh my gosh, This man helps me birth two kids. He's not always like that.
This man didn't help you birth two kids. This man helped you make two children.
He was there.
But he did not help you. No, no, no, no, no. You did that. You birthed those children. You've been taking care of those children. You put your kid in therapy. You're breaking change. You out here working two jobs. You're doing this, you're doing that.
It doesn't feel sustainable. I'm so tired.
I know, I know it doesn't feel sustainable and I know you're tired. I know you're tired. When you said earlier to me that your parents could have supported you with like taking them to daycare, I was so thankful because my real conversation was gonna be with you of how can you get more support? And I do think you need more support. So one of the things you kept saying over and over again, because you just said it feels like so overwhelming and I'm about small steps so this journey can feel manageable. You said, "I just want my house to be clean." What about if I pay for somebody to clean your house?
If you pay?
I'm gonna pay for somebody to clean your house. Yeah? Yeah?
That would be a lot.
Because I understand that small things like that, that somebody else may seem small, but for you, that's a world of relief.
And it adds up, and then I feel like a terrible mom.
Yeah. Yes.
So I'm gonna help you.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you so much.
You took big steps today and I'm proud of you. All right, can I have a hug? I love you.
Thank you, Karamo.
Hold up, hold up. Where are you going? I know you wanna watch more Karamo, so click here to subscribe and click here to watch more so we can keep talking and growing, friends. I love you.
