I'm Paralyzed & My Daughter Is Downright Cruel! | KARAMO

I was shot 9 times and my son was shot twice. My daughters, they all was in the house. It was a home invasion. Everything did change in an instant on that morning. I'm paralyzed from the waist down and I'm in a wheelchair. My son Kwani was only 11 at the time. He was shot twice in the legs. Um, Mimi was 8. My baby was a couple weeks old. The trauma is definitely, definitely still real for us. And now I feel like I'm fighting another battle for my daughter's life. Maylana's 14 and she acts like an adult. She be getting suspended from school, she be stealing from the store. She disrespected me, calling me all type of names. We was arguing and then she said, "Stand on it. Oh, I forgot you can't." So that was the hurtfullest thing she ever said to me. Maylana Laura needs to know as long as I'm around, she's not gonna be that baddie that she claims that she wanna be. My kids need to know whether I'm in this wheelchair or not, I'm still their mother. When I first got shot, I was very like, you know, mean. Like I didn't even wanna be here. So I was a certain kind of way where, you know, that probably could turn somebody away from me. But like I said, I didn't wanna be here. I was going through something. So I feel like right now I'm kind of trying to redeem myself with them a little bit. It changed everything from respect to everything.

It changed respect. In what way do you feel like it changed respect?

Because they don't respect me from this chair. They don't listen to anything that I say.

Is your daughter, has she become negative and argumentative with you?

Very.

Uh-huh, in what ways?

I can't tell her nothing. She's not in school. She was kicked outta school. She stole from the stores, but it's all because of other people. Like, 'cause when we lived somewhere else, she didn't do it.

And she fighting at school too?

She was fighting in school. Physical with the teachers as well. I be feeling like school could make you, you know, not like your kids 'cause they always calling, you know? So, and that's what I be trying to tell Meme, like, it's like things give me a reason to be mad at you. Like, I be just minding my business and either you do something where the cops gotta be knocking at my door or the school is calling me.

Yeah. That's the realest thing I've ever heard anybody say. And I've never heard anybody say this, but I just, took myself back to when my son was in the 9th grade and he was having some problems. When you just said school will make you feel like you don't like your kid, that is the re— I mean, every time my phone rang when I was at work, I was like, you a damn lie. My phone is— I was like, you a— my phone is not ringing again. And it was like my frustration was just, I've never heard anyone put it like that, but it is the realest thing I've ever heard.

And then it's the stuff that they tell you.

Yeah, of course. No, I get it. Yeah, I feel you. That's why when you said that, I was like, I understand.

And then when I'm telling her what they're telling me, she'll buck up at me like, why you getting mad at me for them telling me what you did?

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I gotta ask you, what do you remember about that day in August of 2018?

When I woke up, my mom was on the floor. She told me to go outside 'cause she got shot. So I went outside and I called the cops and they came.

Got it. And what do you feel like your mom does not understand about you?

That I'm gonna do stuff and she's not going to accept it. Like, yes, I'm gonna go outside with my friends and she always want me to go in the house and do chores every day. And I'm not finna do that.

What kind of chores does she want you to do?

Like the dishes. I'm not finna do that.

Lying.

I do my own dishes.

You're lying.

Clean up after the cats.

And I do.

And you don't.

Mm-hmm.

Anyways.

You do realize teenagers have chores, right?

Mm, okay.

That we all do. Okay, let's go.

She was able to get $80 a week, right? Right? She got it one time.

First of all, she didn't gimme the money.

I gave you $40 'cause I said I'm gonna hold $40. I'm smart.

You didn't hold $40 up. Where's my other $40 though? Oh.

You didn't do it the next week.

Whatever.

What?

Think about it, be for real though. Why would I give you the whole $80? I explained everything to you.

I spent my money.

You gonna get $40 and then I'mma hold $40. Did you clean up the next week to even get another $40? To even be able to save another $40?

Okay, I tried, but—

You never consistent. We can have heart to hearts.

First of all.

We can have all that and it doesn't get to you.

I do do my chores too. When my brother was in a program doing my chores, you're just ungrateful. That's all.

You said—

And then you tell me that I don't do chores. Okay, yes I do.

If you did what I gotta tell you to do it, then make it make sense.

And y'all can shut the fuck up too.

Make it make sense. All right, so.

What's going on? What just made you say that?

Because they keep, yeah, like if you got something to say, say it.

Because they were having a reaction to how you acted?

Yep.

Okay. Tell me from your opinion, why did you get kicked outta school?

'Cause I was fighting and I got a smart mouth.

Mm-hmm. Where you think you got the smart mouth from?

Her.

Okay. And why were you fighting at school?

Because these got me fucked up.

And what do they have you messed up about?

They pop like it won't do nothing.

But these is people that be friends. These is people that be friends though. These is people that be friends that she'll sneak out the window and do all type of shit and then y'all fight.

Okay, okay. And I heard you was stealing stuff. You was stealing makeup and hair stuff. Hair dye.

Yep.

You told my producers something that they just told me, which is you think your mother uses her wheelchair to make people feel sorry for her?

Yep.

How the fuck can I use this wheelchair to make people feel sorry?

Because you do that.

I do everything by myself.

Okay, watch your mouth, watch your mouth. Like I said, Like, you said that she start shit.

Explain. Like, nobody was not coming at you crazy.

Explain.

Like I said, she talked to her friends.

Don't waste your breath.

Why you still talking though? I'm talking to him.

Explain.

Like I said, she literally talked to her friends about me. And all she say is, "I'm in a wheelchair, yeah, she gonna do this in a wheelchair, in a wheelchair." Yeah, 'cause you poppin'.

'Cause if I was standing up, you wouldn't be doing none of this shit.

You don't know that. You don't know that.

You are a liar.

I'm not lying, you're lying. Since we moved to our new house, you been cleaning my house? Yes!

Yo, I swear to God.

It was only me and her. I'm not lying. Like, I'm not even playing right now.

You talking about producers that you scared?

I ain't even playing with you right now.

I'm not lying, you are.

You talking about producers that your mom maces you?

Yeah, she maces me.

Do you mace her?

You do?

Yeah, she put her hands on me. Did you hit me with a bottle?

You're lying. You're lying. No, Maymay said you ain't hit me in my head with a bottle.

No.

Oh my God, Maymay, you ain't hit me in my head with a bottle?

I'm not lying.

Well, Maymay, you ain't hit me in the head with a bottle?

It's like I said, she maced me.

I didn't.

Go get my phone.

So please, what happened? What's in the phone?

You really lying on her? May May, did you hit me in my head with a bottle?

I did it.

You did not hit me in the head with a bottle. No, I didn't. She literally come in my room and maces the whole room. It's literally orange on the wall. You literally threatened to mace me too. I'm not lying. Okay, so I'll mace you again, you hit me with a bottle. And what you talking about?

I did not, bro.

You ever lie on me?

I'm not lying.

I'm gonna let you go back.

Stop me.

Wait, yeah, okay, you got me. No, you are lying.

Yeah, so that you can see it. And then bye to you too.

You mad?

Yeah, you're not even talking to me.

She says that her and your brother are survivors. That's what she constantly says. My producers told me you said she always says they're survivors. Does she call you a survivor?

No.

She doesn't call you a survivor?

Mm-mm.

Mm, got it, got it. See, like I said to you, I saw the real you. You're 14 years old and I know the behavior we all watch, we're seeing you mimic it. We heard how your mom talks to you, so we know why you talk this way. So I don't blame you and I don't think you're a bad person either. I actually think you're pretty intelligent. I actually think you're pretty responsible. I actually think a lot, I think very highly of you, even with what I saw on this stage.

Thank you.

I do. I do believe you when you said that you have been taken care of a lot. When it feels like it's my responsibility, where I feel like I don't know how to have a time to just be a kid, when I feel like I'm always having to do something and it's been years compounded, to your mom it might seem like, oh, you're lazy today. But for you it feels like I've always been doing this, right?

Yes.

Yeah, I know. Talk to me about what you're going through.

I'm going through a lot. Like, it's just how my mom just don't understand me at all. And I'm like, talk to her. Trying to talk to her, but I just really can't talk to her.

What do you want her to know?

Like how I'm feeling when she's calling me out my name and stuff.

How do you feel?

Like she brings me down. She talks about me. She calls me a whore. I'm not a whore. I know who I am. I don't know, but like.

Yeah, so it brings you down. If your mom's calling you out your name every minute, Like, yeah, it could bring you down and make you react a certain way. I totally understand. I'm not saying it's right. So hear me out. I'm not saying it's right, but I understand it and I get it and I don't blame you. Does it feel nice to have somebody who understands you a little bit?

Yes.

Yeah, I can imagine. I talked to her, but can I ask you this? And this is where we gotta take accountability as adults, As parents, would you talk to another little 14-year-old girl the way you talk to her?

I do.

You talk to other 14-year-old girls on the street like that?

If they saying something to me smart, is that what you mean? 'Cause I'm not just gonna come up to a 14-year-old girl and be mean to her. And we not gonna make it seem like she came outta me and I was talking to her like that. We not gonna make it seem like that either.

I'm not gonna make it seem like that.

Through over time, this is somebody I gotta be around that'll look at me In a wheelchair, somebody tell me to stand on that. Oh, I forgot you can't. Oh, that's some kid shit to you?

That's still a kid.

Oh.

'Cause you know kids say nasty things.

Oh, they do?

And unfortunately they say nasty things to their parents sometimes too.

Oh, I did not know that. I did not know a kid would say that to their mother.

Yeah, I've heard worse.

That's crazy. That's a shame.

It is a shame.

It's a shame.

But what I want you to understand is that it doesn't make it right. And I'm sorry she said it to you.

Mm-hmm.

Because you've been through a lot.

What I'm supposed to say? Oh baby, don't say that shit. What I'm supposed to say?

I didn't say that.

Tell me. No, I want you to tell me for real what I'm supposed to say.

I really honestly wanna know. Like I really do.

I would tell you that matching her energy is not gonna help you to figure out what to say or to figure out how to make this relationship better.

So I'm just supposed to feel this small as a child?

I don't think you should feel this small as a child.

It's saying something to me.

But it's the communication.

It's the communication. Even if I'm telling her to leave me alone, get out my face, none of that works? I still just gotta be the bigger person?

Unfortunately.

Oh, can't do it.

Unfortunately.

Can't do it.

See, that's the breakdown. I know that you say that you and Quan are survivors.

We are survivors.

Do you feel like she's a survivor?

Of course.

Do you ever say that?

I told her she a superhero. That's enough to say.

What she— She a superhero.

I never said she was a survivor 'cause she ain't get shot. I ain't know I had to say that to her.

Okay, so hear me out. The problem is that her being 14 is also compounded by the trauma y'all both feel.

Mm-hmm.

You gotta understand that what she went through and what she's experiencing, she didn't understand. She didn't have the words. Just the same way you didn't have the words. And she's still trying to figure it out. What I do know for a fact is your daughter loves you and she wants you. She wants the bond back with you.

And no, she don't.

If you can't believe that she wants the bond back with you, then there's not gonna be any work that I can do to help y'all because you gotta believe she wants the bond back. I asked your daughter one thing. If I could help your mother to understand the same grace you deserve, she deserves grace, would you come back out there and model not disrespecting your mom? And she gave me her word. See, this is where I get to see what you see. Either she's gonna do it or she won't.

All I'm saying is this little girl does not get asked for much but to go to school, clean up, be respectful.

I get it.

Don't get piercings, don't dye your hair.

I understand.

And then we gotta go through all this.

But that everything you just said.

Your mother just telling me to clean up and you can look at her and say, "Stand on that." But I need you to hear, the issue you just said is a 40, see?

What you just did again, this is why I told you. You went back to the mom.

Oh yeah, I'm never gonna forget that.

Well see, if you can't forget that, then y'all are never gonna have a healthy relationship.

I know. You know, it's only a couple people that said some shit about this wheelchair that'll never get the same me again. Are y'all crazy?

Hold on, you just said the issue right there. There's a couple people who have said things about me in this wheelchair who would never get the same me again. And unfortunately, one of those people is your daughter. Mm-hmm. So that is something that you have to heal before I can heal the relationship with you and your daughter.

And I don't know how to do it, so I don't know.

If I get your daughter to apologize, can you receive it?

I guess.

You guess? All right, so I talked to your mother and we talked about what we talked about. I shared her with what I said with you. And I understand her feelings as well. I understand how she's feeling. But there's a comment that you made to your mother that still sticks with your mom. And I know when we feel hurt, we say things 'cause we on jab. Do you remember what you said to your mother? Mm-hmm. What was it?

You can't walk, something like that. But like I said it 'cause like she be coming at me crazy.

Hold on.

Sorry.

I understand, I understand. I heard you and I heard her. She came at you crazy, so you said something that you felt was gonna hurt her back. I know. Can you apologize to your mother for that comment and really mean it?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I would never accept it because you fucking said that shit to me 'cause all I do is tell you to clean the shit up.

Are you crazy?

Well, first of all, you—

That's all I tell you to do is clean up and go to school and you had the audacity to say some dumbass shit like that to me?

Okay.

Oh, shit. So you came to me to help you to fix this, to heal the heartache that y'all got. And I saw the path to it and I think we all understand the path to y'all healing it, but that path for y'all healing this relationship is going to start with you. And I'm gonna tell you that right now. If you want your relationship back with your daughter, it's gonna start with you. I'm gonna tell you this, as I told you before, I know there's a very smart, responsible young woman inside of you. I know it, I've seen it, I understand it. Even you taking the opportunity to model that behavior and try to like apologize and do it when I know you felt uncomfortable, I understand, I see who you are. And I think that there's still even more room to grow. I know you don't need to steal. I know that you want a relationship with your mother. I know you do. You're gonna have to do some work too. And you're young right now, but you can start to learn that you can actually make different choices. But also, you have to.

Yeah, I know.

And you're not ready to. It's you gotta forgive these moments.

Why would I say I forgive her when I think she gonna do it again? How about I know she gonna do it again?

Well, that's the cycle there. Until you can forgive and believe that forgiveness, you're never gonna see your daughter the way that you're supposed to see her. I don't wanna see your daughter. And that's the truth. Sad part is this little girl actually just wants her mother back. See, all this playfulness, the looking at her, it's like she's looking to be a kid with her mom and her mom wants her to be an adult. Mom should've said sorry, but mom needed to heal first. She doesn't feel like anybody respects her anymore because mom's behavior was built on her strength. That was what her personality was built on. I'm strong, and yeah, I survived this, but now I feel like nobody respects me. And the person I need to respect me the most is my daughter, and she doesn't respect me. But the daughter's just like, I don't even know if I respect myself. I don't know what's going on in the world. So that's sad. All right, we're going to figure it out together. All right, thanks, y'all, for being around for that.