I'm Sharing My Man With His Mom! | KARAMO

So hold on, girl, who are you sharing your man with?

His mother. The head honcho.

I was not expecting that. So you don't like sharing your man with his mama?

No.

Got it. So when did you first realize his mother was too involved in y'all relationship?

Honestly, I wanna say in 2020 when we broke up, we broke up for about a year and honestly we really broke up because of her. So I knew she was the issue then. So when I came back with him, like, look, look, look, you see this?

Whose lap is that he sitting on?

This is my mom. His mother's. His mom.

That's his mother.

Oh.

That's his mother. Yes.

Okay. How many of y'all think that's cute?

Exactly.

Just the two of y'all right here. Just the two of y'all. Okay. How often does Jamil ask his mother for advice?

Whenever he needs it. If he needs it 10 times today, he's gonna ask her and she's gonna voice her opinion.

Okay.

Honestly, it doesn't matter.

So is the issue about him asking for advice or is the issue about her voicing her opinion?

The issue is not the advice or the opinion, it's why so often? Why do you have to go to her to always have closure? Or why do you need her to confirm something when I'm your girlfriend?

Got it, okay. Can you give me a couple examples of the things he asks his mom about?

Laundry detergent, for instance. So we were in the store one day and of course, you know, I wanna switch up the—

I love my friends. Y'all always shock me. I don't even know when they gonna have graphics up there. I'd be like, oh, we got laundry already up there. Okay, keep going. Laundry detergent. Okay, what else?

Oh, the comforter. You got the comforter? Yes, the comforter. We went to buy a comforter one time and he had to call his mom just to make sure she's heard of the brand or it's soft or this is the right type of comforter that we should use. She don't sleep in our bed. We sleep in our bed.

So you said, I want this, and he still had to check with his mama?

Yes, sir. It's gonna have to get checked with his mama.

Got it. The mac and cheese recipe.

I had found a TikTok one time.

Uh-huh.

We couldn't even make the mac and cheese 'cause he's so involved on the phone with his mom. He's asking her questions. I done forgot to put the milk in, so now it's an argument with the mac and cheese. But if you weren't on the phone so busy, you could've reminded me to put the milk in. If we were doing this together like we were supposed to.

A little couple's activity that turned into— Exactly. Instead of it being a couple activity, it turned into a threesome activity.

No, a twosome, 'cause I left out of it.

Oh, so let's say.

Exactly, yeah.

Got it. So he goes to his mom about y'all arguments?

Yes.

So his mother is fully aware of the things that are going on in the relationship?

Yes, she know everything.

And which bill to pay first?

Yes, oh, let me tell him that the bill is $500. We gotta pay $500 by this week. Oh, he's gonna go ask her, are you sure that we're supposed to pay $500 this week? Do you think that's okay if we pay the $500 this week? Everything has to get ran by her.

Okay. And where to go on dates?

He'll ask for her advice, like, where should we go? Things like that. She'll be upset if she can't come, but it's not for you to always come.

If she can't come on the dates?

Yes.

Okay. How does it affect your relationship?

It puts a little strain on it because when she catches her attitudes, then he'll catch an attitude that she's mad, so then me and him will argue. And once I get upset, the whole house is finna be upset. Everybody's finna understand that I'm upset.

Got it. My producer said you called it a whirlpool when she gets involved. Can you explain?

Yes, 'cause with a whirlpool, everything go bad when it starts spinning. When it's whirling and things like that, things get bad. And that's how it is when she comes around. Things just get tossed in the air. It's so, it's just, I don't know.

Got it. And how long have y'all been together?

Since 2018.

So this is a long-term relationship. Yep. Okay. Do you want a future with Jamill?

I do.

You want marriage and kids?

I do. I love Jamill and I want kids, but I'm not bringing kids into this situation. How this situation is, how she has a say so with everything, I'm not bringing kids into that.

If nothing changes, will you walk away from the relationship?

Yes. I was gonna walk away last week. I had my stuff packed last week. Last week?

Yes.

Oh wow. So you're at your breaking point?

Yes.

Got it. Okay. Well, I think it's time to meet Jamill's mom. So everyone welcome Jamila to the show.

For one, I don't like coming out here making it seem like I'm the bad person.

Okay.

And hi, cousin.

Hi.

I'm sorry about that.

How you doing?

But no, I'm not the bad person. That's my son. He's gonna always be my son. Like I told you when y'all first got into the relationship, I'm not going anywhere.

Mm-hmm.

It doesn't matter if that's her son.

I agree.

I'm in a relationship with him, right?

Yeah.

I go with him, right?

Okay.

I lay with him every night, right?

Okay.

We're intimate, right? That's my man. She shouldn't have so much of a say so. Stay in a mom's place. And I stay in my place. If he comes to you and he asks you that, if he asks you something, okay, cool.

I stay in my place.

But if he comes to you with a relationship, she should be the mom and be like, that's your relationship, son.

And I'm the mom.

Go handle it. Not having a two-step.

When he calls me, I'm the mom. I don't get in they bedroom relationship. But when he calls me for advice, he's my son. I'm supposed to give him advice. That's what I'm going to do.

All the time.

I'm his mother. He only has me.

He only has me. Raise your hand if you think that her giving advice this often is an issue.

No, no, no, absolutely not. Absolutely not. They must not have mama's voice because when my son calls me for advice, just like the mac and cheese, my mac and cheese is better. She barely knows how to cook.

Okay, so we talking about—

So he's gonna ask for his mom's recipe because that's what he's used to.

I don't care about the recipe. I don't care about the recipe.

For you, why is it important to be involved in his decisions?

It's not important to be involved in his decision, but at the same time, if he calls and asks me for advice, then I'm gonna give him the advice. I'm not gonna just push my son off and just ignore him and not say anything.

What was your relationship like with Jamil growing up?

It has always been me and Jamil until I got married when he was 9.

Okay, but I'm not trying to— When I say this, I'm not being funny. He's not growing up anymore. He's grown, he's not growing up, he's grown. Let him be grown.

Yeah, and I understand that.

You raised him to be a man, let him be a man.

And he's definitely a man. You raised him to let him grow. And he's definitely a man. He definitely is a man.

I am a man.

He needs to make his own mistakes and fix his own mistakes. Yes, he's definitely a man and he does men things, but at the same time, he still depends on his mom. But I do not get involved in everything.

I just, when my son call, my son needs me, I'm going to be there. She gonna come talk to me.

I'm gonna always be there.

So Jamil shared the screenshot with my producer that he wanted me to see. So can I take a look at this? You blocked, you punk-ass blank mama's boy. You a bum-ass mama's boy, 100%. No, you the reason that you're a bitch who never can act like a adult. This you sent to him?

And this is the problem that I have, the disrespect, because I will get a woman.

We won't get to the disrespect if she just said, what did I say? What did I say? What that say right there?

She will call my son out of his name. You know, like, you need to stay out of it, you're just too involved. You act like you're— And I do, I do. Very mad. I'm married. 17 years. 17 years of marriage. I'm married. Happily married.

Why did you tell Jamil not to propose last Christmas?

'Cause they're not ready. You see this right here? How can you get married?

You see this right here?

This is what she can't even respect his mother. If she can't respect his mother, what makes you think that she's gonna respect you? She's gonna respect the relationship. I mean, come on now.

It has nothing to do with respecting you if I'm dating your son. She has nothing to do with it. If I'm dating Jamil, what does that have to do with it?

You do just like I don't respect you, you need to respect me.

Now this is the only part where I have to stop and correct you because respect is mutual. She should give you respect and you should give her respect.

Exactly, so I'm not gonna come off the rip giving, you see how she act? And y'all think I'm gonna give her respect? Y'all think I'm gonna care how she feel? No, I care how he feel. I don't care how she feel.

You know, I think it's time to meet the person in the middle of all this. So let's meet Jamil. Yes, please. So we can hear his side of the story. Jamil, come on out. Hey Jamil, thanks for being here.

How you doing?

How often do you ask your mother for advice?

Every day.

Every day. Why every day?

Well, like it can be anything. It can just be a situation I might need her assistance on. I feel like she understand me more.

Okay. You shared a snapshot of your recent call log for us to get a better idea.

Exactly.

Where do y'all see my name? Where y'all see my name?

And my name Gabby. Where y'all see my name?

What's wrong with calling and checking on your mom every day? I mean, what's wrong with that?

So we actually wanted, I wanna say this, hold on. We actually wanted to unlock your phone and you were getting ready to hand it over and then Gabby, you stepped in and you said you wouldn't let him. Why? 'Cause we wanted to unlock your phone to really understand the nature of this relationship, to see how many texts, what the texts are saying, what is going on. And you decided not to. Why?

I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't care to know what they're saying in their messages, honestly. If he's going to her venting or something like that, that's cool. Say what you want, say what you do, because I know what gets said to my face and I know what gets said to me and in front of me.

Yeah, but it wasn't about you, us telling you what she's saying about you. It was about your gripe is their relationship is too close. So we wanted to see how close the relationship is. And so that's what we're seeing. That's why we've said, can we at least get the call logs, a snapshot? Because the same way we saw this and it gave them a clear picture of how often they talk, we wanna see what was going on. But you decided that he could not.

No, because I don't know what's said in those messages. And I'm gonna be honest, no, I don't know what's said in those messages about me and I don't want that out there.

No. Got it. So why do you check with your mom before checking with Gabby?

Like I said, I just feel like she might understand me more, you know what I'm saying? I know that's my girlfriend, but you know what I'm saying?

Do you feel like you need to take care of your mom?

Yeah, to be honest, seeing her struggles like that, so I was like, I'm gonna help my mom step in and be the man, like help out.

And how much money do you give your mom each month?

I say about $500, $600.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

And I would do vice versa.

And what happened on Christmas and Valentine's Day?

Maybe I did kind of like do a little bit more for her.

Maybe you kind of did or you did?

I did.

He did.

He felt like he did.

I'm gonna give you that, like I did.

I don't think so.

How did you think that was gonna make her feel?

I don't know, 'cause like I feel like you get stuff yearly, you know what I'm saying? Like if I got it, like, you know what I'm saying? If I got the extra money, you know what I'm saying? So like she'll get it, you know what I'm saying? No matter what, you know what I'm saying? Any day, it don't really have to be a holiday.

My whole point of the thing, all that don't matter. My whole point of the thing, it's not about the gifts, It's not about that she got more. It's not this. I want the attention. I want you to act like you're my boyfriend. I don't care what you give her. I don't care what you do. Act like a boyfriend all year, and I don't care about Christmas. I don't care about Valentine's Day. Oh, yes, you do. Because I don't ask for stuff. What do I ask for? I want you to act right. That'll be the best thing for me. That'll be the best gift in the world. Act right.

OK. Yep. How often do you stay at your mom's house instead of just going home after an argument?

I can stay there all day, all week.

So space is fixing it.

Space is fixing it.

I tell him too, stop doing stuff.

Jermell, what do you want to happen?

Well, I'm gonna be real. Today, I really want us to come together. I just want her to understand that I only get one mom, you know what I'm saying? And there's plenty of women out there. Not saying that I want other women, but it's like, I just really want this to get resolved today.

You can't handle future with me and you trying to bring your mom in the future and all that too. We gotta have two separate tables.

But like I said—

Let me just be clear. Let me be clear about something. You think she wants to be you.

Yep, I don't.

And you think—

She got the same wig on as me, and I had my wig on first.

How I wanna be her? I knew that was gonna come up. I knew that was gonna come up. She caught me in the hallway with the wig on, and I had it styled just like that. I'm bringing it back. I think that's what it is too. I kind of feel like we are the same.

So let me back up, okay? Oh. You think she wants to be you, and now we even heard more about the wig. And you think that she—

She wanna be me.

No, no, I don't. You think that he's a mama's boy? Yeah. Okay. So can I tell you something? You're both telling the truth. You do wanna be her.

Who?

You.

Oh, no, no, no.

And you have created a mama's boy.

Yeah.

You know that?

Yeah.

Okay, at least you know that. You want me to go to you and tell you how you wanna be her?

How?

And I don't mean her in essence that you wanna be her. Her as the woman, but you do wanna be in control. And the fact of the matter is you don't like that she's in control, she's having these things, and I'm only going off of what you said outta your mouth here on this stage. And so the real issue, I'm gonna be real with you, I only pointed that out to let you know that your behavior with him is wildly inappropriate. The boundaries are way skewed. And as well, as well, because of that, you wanna be in control. So I'm just telling y'all that so you can identify and what the issues are with you all. But the real issues are not you two. The real issue is you, young man. Mm-hmm. All right.

Why'd you feel like, well, not to cut you off, you about to talk.

Oh, I'm gonna tell you, but you can ask me why I feel like that.

Yeah, oh, but that's what I'm about to ask you. Why you feel like I'm the problem?

Well, because your mother unfortunately put you in a situation that a lot of young men who were raised by single mothers fall into. Where I feel like I have to be your protector, I have to be your friend, I have to be your boyfriend, I have to be your son. And the person that has to break that is you as a man. You have to be confident enough to put boundaries on it. Your girl is right. Your girl is right. That is highly inappropriate. I love my mama, I'm a mama's boy, but I have never called my mama that many times in a day. Never. Also, if I'm in an argument with the person I'm in a relationship with, I don't involve my mother in every situation. Because this is something that I'm supposed to be dealing with as a man with my partner so that we are growing together. She right. You keep involving her, I'd be pissed off too.

So can you give me like, look, like at least 2 steps that I can do, like as going home, to make it a little bit better? Like at least one day, one day by day.

You have just spoken my language. Which of course I can, brother. That's what we do here. Okay, the first thing I'm gonna tell you is you need to set a boundary of how many times you call your mother in a day. You crying, what's going on? What's happening?

Guess what, like you said, I hold onto him because it's somebody I know that's gonna love. I didn't have a mom, I didn't have a dad.

Yeah.

You know, so when I had him, I was 20 years old. I needed him at the time.

Yeah.

I still do need him.

Yeah.

But I understand that I have to let him go. I did.

I know. I appreciate that vulnerability.

Yeah.

And lemme tell you something, you gotta get over that arrogance of that because one day you gonna be a mother and this gonna hit you. I'm a parent, I understand what she's going through and what she feels. It's gonna hit you one day. It's gonna hit you one day, I can tell you. And you can make the face if you want. I'm professional, I know what I'm doing.

I'm in a relationship, I know what I'm doing. I don't try to tell him what to do. I don't, I don't never tell you what to do. If he want to do something, I'm agreeing with it. I'm on his back. I'm like, okay, cool, you want to do this, I'm pushing for you, this and third. But I'm not gonna keep doing it when I'm not getting nothing in return.

If you're not happy, why are you staying in this?

Right, right.

I don't have I'm gonna say I don't have to stay in it.

So then why are you?

I don't have to stay in it.

So why are you?

I don't have to.

So why are you? So Jamil, you need to walk off this stage and you need to start, the thing for you is you need to man up and start to set some real boundaries, okay?

Yeah.

Secondly, if you have any advice, go ask Google. Don't ask your mama.

And I mean that.

All right. And I mean that, okay?

Yeah, 'cause I gotta be a man for myself, you know?

You gotta be a man for yourself.