I’m Sick of The Way My Sister Talks To My Child! 😿👶 | KARAMO

Okay, Kenya, before we get started, I wanna read a sentence from your sister's submission to the show that I feel like you should hear. She said, "I basically want my relationship with my sister back to where we used to sing together, dance together, laugh. I miss that." Hearing those words, how does that make you feel?

Normal.

Normal?

Yes.

No effect on you?

No.

So tell me what happened around Thanksgiving where this relationship started going sour?

She had called me and she was like, "What you doing?" I'm painting the house or whatever. So she came over, she was like, "Well, can you almost outta paint?" And I was like, "Yeah, I'm gonna need some more." I said, "Well, can you go to the store for me? I'll cash up you." So she went to the store or whatever. Instead of her letting me cash up her the money, she wanted to pay for it, I guess to just show that she did it herself. Brica is the type, she wants you to make it seem like I owe her something.

You owe her something, okay.

And I don't owe her nothing. Like, I don't, it's just, So what happened when Honesty invited Brica over? Honesty was running around the house like she normally do. And my sister, she did have her AirPods in from the time she walked in to the time she left. My daughter, she's walking through or whatever, she's like, "Mom, Titi got my bathroom stank." So I'm just like, "Honesty, like, hush your mouth." Like, I'm getting on to her. So she says it again.

Well, you did name her Honesty.

Yes, she's very honest.

You know, so.

So she was got my bathroom stank. And how old is she, like what? It was nothing before. And so after that, the third time my sister heard her and she was like, "Don't talk to me." And my daughter, she just instantly ran out the bathroom and went into the hallway or whatever. And I was like, "Brica, don't be talking to my child like that 'cause you can get out." She was like, "I didn't come here for this." She was talking bad to your 4-year-old daughter?

Yes, you ain't finna talk to her like that.

And she always thinking I don't say nothing to my daughter, but I do. I mean, what you want me to do, beat her? I'm not doing that.

Yeah. So then Brica blocked you on everything? Tell me about it.

She blocks me on everything. I could say something, she could be asking me something, She don't like the advice. Oh, block.

So what hurts most about that situation?

When she went on Facebook and she said, my sister, she's dead to me. And she didn't even know that I knew until I said something to her.

So how else was Honesty affected by this?

Honesty is basically the lies. Brica, she'll constantly say, I kid you not, she done stayed twice since she told her that she wanted to, you know, she was gonna stay the night. But other than that, that hurt my daughter. And when it hurts my daughter, it gonna hurt me 'cause I could feel what she feel.

Yeah.

Like my daughter, she loves her auntie. She calls her and stuff like that, but.

What are you thinking about?

It is so crazy how me and my sister not close. I'm closer to my best friend more than I am to my real sister.

Are y'all ready to meet Brica? Yeah. All right, everyone welcome Brica. How you doing? Good. I just wanna go to this sort of last time y'all spoke, 'cause it gives me a little bit more clarity of where y'all at and how we can move forward. Did she ever do your hair for New Year's Eve the last time you reached out to her?

No, she did not. I don't know why she's sitting here talking about something I did.

I didn't because I had to go to work.

My job is more important.

My job is more important.

Okay, who's important, your family or your job? My job. If I can't go, if I don't go to work, I can't provide for my child. And I'm not finna lose my job for you. I wasn't even gonna stop you from going back. What was the issue?

What was the issue?

'Cause I had to go to work. King, you a hairstylist. If anybody know, a hairstylist should have B-Proof. And the hairstyling is on their time, not yours. If they paying you, then they— You was not paying me. You can't go pay somebody $200-some dollars, but you always— I was not paying you. You're always looking at me like I'm wrong because I charge you. If I charge you $65, you got a problem. If I wanted to, you can't do that. You wanted $65.

Never have I said I'm gonna charge her.

If you wanted to have her, you could've charged $95.

So, Brinka, I gotta ask you a question. You told my producers that you think this all comes down to money. Why do you think that?

Because that's her nature. Please tell me. That's exactly how I always been with her. From the time when she first told me she was pregnant with my niece, guess what I did? Soon as I got paid, I bought my niece $200, $200, $300. Did I ask or did you volunteer? I ain't never lied to you. I volunteered. Did I ask or you volunteered? I volunteered. Okay, you could have kept your money 'cause y'all don't do nothin' but throw money in my face. But it doesn't matter. That was my niece though.

It doesn't matter.

Do you feel like you threw your money in her face?

She do.

Anything this girl do for me, just like gas money, it's been a time where I didn't have money, she was telling me to give her gas money. Yes, you was. It been plenty of times I come and get you and don't ask you for a thing.

I got a question for you. Is your communication normally like this?

Yep.

Will y'all always scream?

Yep.

How long y'all been screaming like this?

All our life.

All your life?

Basically.

Yeah. The only reason I ask that is because it helps me to understand like how y'all were taught to communicate with each other. And doesn't mean it was taught by a parent or something like that, but the way that you—

I'm not even gonna lie to you. My mama didn't even have time to teach us how to love on each other.

I have a screenshot message that you sent Kenya the other day that I wanna look at. So one of the things that you said in there, Kenya, is that, "I hope you die." I did.

I said it because you hurt my child's feelings.

And see, you can get up and be sad, I don't care. But when you hurt my child's feelings, I'm gonna have to just— Karamo, that wasn't even fake. You told me you hope I die.

I don't care. I gotta ask you, Brica. I gotta ask you, Brica. How did that make you feel having that hurt said?

It hurt me like, that's like the most hurtful thing anybody can say. It hurt her too much to go to Facebook and for the nationwide to see. For me to have to hear from someone else. And I told you I don't mean it.

And I'm wrong?

Y'all hurted my feelings. I admitted to that too. Until when? After the fact, bro. After the fact, bro.

Ladies, one of the first things that I noticed is that before we can even get any further, y'all gotta be able to hear each other. And I think sometimes when we're hurting, we think the louder we get is the more that someone's gonna be able to hear us. And it's actually the exact opposite.

She ain't gonna never let me get no word in.

It's both of us, not just one.

I actually don't believe that.

Be a woman sometimes. You always wanna fault everybody else. Screet runner. That's all you is.

Oh, it's like that now?

It's been like that.

Both of y'all have, there's abandonment issues here. There's neglect issues here, correct?

It's a lot of it.

Yeah. And sometimes when we both experience neglect and abandonment, the people who we felt like should have been there, if they don't show up the way that we need them to show up, we then start to push them away. Because we still like, before you reject me again, I'm not gonna do it. And that's what y'all been building up over these years. I'm gonna tell y'all that right now. Because she's not showing up the way for you, you get upset. And because she doesn't show up the way for you that you need, you get upset. So I'm gonna ask y'all a first question. How do you need her to show up for you? What is being there for you?

No, I just need her to call. Even if it's just call and check up on my daughter, just call. Just call to check up on me.

But I'm gonna take it to the point to always see outta this.

It ain't always about something. It ain't always about money. Yeah. Sometimes it could be just a, "Hey, how you doing?" Or, "I love you," or something. But it's all, I'm always reaching out to y'all and y'all know that. Even my daughter showing it. She reach out more to y'all than y'all reach out to us.

So you need a call that is based in just, "I love you." Yes. Can you commit to calling your sister still to say— Then I will. Hey, I love you.

I have no problem with that.

Now what do you need from her to show up for you?

Basically the same thing. Call us and let us know that you love us. We don't always have to be the first to call.

So the thing is, is that both of you are saying, I call, I show up, I call, I show up. And both of y'all are nodding your head saying the other person doesn't. So you've gotten yourself back into the cycle.

That's just crazy because Only time you call me is when you want your hair did.

I also wanna take a moment 'cause I wanna applaud this really quickly 'cause I'm big on recognizing growth when it happens, even if it's quick. The way you just communicated with her was completely different than you've communicated this entire time. Do you see how your vulnerability, there was no screaming at that. I wanna applaud you for that. That's growth right there. And I'm acknowledging that because yes, give it up for her. I'm acknowledging that because I want you to recognize "Oh, I just did that. I didn't have to scream at you. Did you receive that?" She says she feels like you just call her for the hair. And I know that might not be your truth. But she's— I know it might not be your truth, but the thing we have to realize, if we really want relationships to work, we have to respect someone else's truth. She said, "This is my truth. I feel like you only call me for this." I got a question though.

Am I lying?

Yep.

You have to acknowledge your sister's truth if you want healthier communication. So when someone says, "This is what I feel," you can't say it's a lie. You have to say you feel it.

I mean, I have acknowledged her truth.

It's just that it was a lie.

So I'm gonna ask you something because you just took a step back from me. You took a step back. And if that type of step back in your home, guess what that will cause?

More chaos.

More chaos. You wanna rectify that?

It happens like that all the time.

I know, I can't save it fully, but I give y'all step one. Do you know how to rectify that?

No, I can't.

You can't rectify that?

Nope.

Because if you can't rectify that, that means that you're saying, I don't know, I don't want to move forward with a healthy relationship.

Which is crazy 'cause you brought me on this show. Bro, I'ma just walk off 'cause I'm telling you, bro, I ain't with it.

That what she do. She walk off before anybody can justify anything.

But do you understand why she walks off?

Yeah, I see now. I see I have the little growing, like she said, I have some growing up to do.

I do.

Ooh, that's a big step. I do. I acknowledge that. If your sister comes back out, can you apologize for taking that step back?

Mm-hmm.

Yes. Can you acknowledge that maybe there's times that you only call her to get your hair done, makes her feel like We don't have a real, and I wanna get to what you wanted too, but can you acknowledge that maybe that you only call her for the hair?

I can.

You can? Come with me. Come with me. We gonna do this.

I made my decision, Desi. Like, I don't wanna even talk no more. I don't wanna talk. I don't wanna talk. I'm good.

I know you good. I know you good.

I don't wanna talk no more.

But she just has one last thing to say. I'm respecting your peace. I'm respecting your peace, I truly am. She has one last thing she wants to say because we had a moment to talk and she said she feels like she knows she has more growing to do than she knows she needs to grow up. The same way I acknowledge your vulnerability, she's realizing that in that moment there was growth that needed to happen. What did you say you wanna say to your sister?

I'm sorry.

I really am.

I'm sorry, but I just can't, I can't break my peace. I'm not finna do it because every time I do it—

And I get that. So listen, this is what I ask you. Can you just commit to making sure you don't scream anymore?

Mm-hmm, I commit to not screaming anymore.

Because you talk about protecting your peace. People don't realize that when we scream at somebody else, you're disturbing your own self.

Yeah.

And also honesty, you don't want her to be seeing that as well.

No, that's why I'm trying to get myself together 'cause it starts with me.

Your sister's committed to not screaming with you and not having these arguments anymore. Can you commit also to like stop saying the things like, "I wish you were dead"?

Mm-hmm, I can't say that because that is hurtful.

Yeah.

And if I had to recheck myself and tell her, like, as soon as it happened, I had to tell her.

Got it.

'Cause I knew I was wrong.

Can you commit at least to saying, "I will not tell my sister I want you dead anymore"?

I've been stopped doing that, but I can commit.

Listen, I really do appreciate you all coming on here and being vulnerable. You're welcome. I really do.

You're very welcome.

And hopefully you have a little bit of a first step.

I could truly do that. I swear I can. I can.

Give me a hug. I wish you all the best, all right?

Yes, sir.

I just wanna talk to y'all because I tell people all the time, this show is real. I'm really dealing with real emotions, real things. And unfortunately, there was too much pain there that was caused from, the unfortunate relationship that they both experienced with their mother and not being able to communicate to say, I'm sorry, I'm hurt. And I wish that we could be the show that every single time wraps it up in a bow, but that ain't real life for me. There's love there, but it is covered by so much pain from a childhood that neither of them were responsible for. You're in the audience. Deondra, what do you think?

That was a huge step that they have taken. Good. I feel like hopefully after this show, they take what you said, and they use it and actually learn how to not yell at each other so that even if they disagree, they still can talk.

You're a great person to be a reminder for them of what they learned here today. So when you see them screaming, be like, hey, you both just made a commitment. You're not going to scream.

Yes.

All right.

I just hear y'all hug.

Yes.

Can I hear what my babies are?

No!

Oh my God, that makes me so happy! Don't play with me, y'all ain't gotta play tough right now. Do not! I just turned on the walkie, they said they hugged. I said, what? What did he say? What did he say?

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